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Who the gently caress wakes up in the morning going "Boy I love printers so much! I can't wait to use my printer to print something!" This person does not exist. Look at these loving pieces of poo poo: Printers are the deer of electronic devices: utterly useless and miserable and they smell bad and make godawful noises and do nothing beneficial Proposal: I want to print black text on a sheet of paper for a report Reality: A piece of paper falls through the internet and into Parisian printers. Taking a LED from the nearby wall, it spies rows upon rows of black ink cartridges. Grabbing the nearest one, it shakes it madly by the shoulders, shouting "THE COLOR INK CARTRIDGE IS LOW  "And that's even assuming the fucker will even take the printer signal and start rolling paper through it. Only for it to chug along taking 40 seconds and the print quality looks like somebody tried erasing crayons or it just spits out a completely blank page regardless. Or say it's not connected to the internet despite a brand new ethernet cable and wireless signal option. Or thinking the paper is empty when there are at least 60 sheets in the tray. Or it's permanently stuck "configuring" and making noises like a typewriter violently masturbating in garbage bin while having a temper tantrum over no longer being able to eat pizza rolls for every meal. What the gently caress is the point of printers in 2020?
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Jul 15, 2020 16:56
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 11:52 |
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when I used to do tech support nothing was worse than trying to figure out why a stupid loving wireless printer wasn't connecting.
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Jul 15, 2020 17:25
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Jul 15, 2020 17:29
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i loving hate sprinters why dont they run for longer
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Jul 15, 2020 17:30
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Straight up, I ain't got no conversation for ya, ----- talk to the (Canon) Have a few words with the (Canon) Tell it to my mother fuckin' (Canon) Straight up, I ain't got no conversation for ya, ----- talk to the (Canon) Have a few words with the (Canon) Tell it to my mother fuckin' (Canon)
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Jul 15, 2020 17:30
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All printers should come with a button that, when you open it up to change the ink, immediately stops the print heads from just wildly sliding back and forth for no goddamn reason for a billion years. It could be called the SPFA override - Stop Piss -Farting About.
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Jul 15, 2020 17:39
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The paperless office has been imminent for decades now and that's why printers are made by the dumbest fattest losers
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Jul 15, 2020 17:42
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:i loving hate sprinters why dont they run for longer would you rather spend hours running cross country, or finish in 10 seconds? i'm a 10 second man, myself.
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Jul 15, 2020 17:47
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Strumpie posted:would you rather spend hours running cross country, or finish in 10 seconds? drat you're right here's a picture of shaq 
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Jul 15, 2020 17:50
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EorayMel posted:Who the gently caress wakes up in the morning going "Boy I love printers so much! I can't wait to use my printer to print something!" This person does not exist. Look at these loving pieces of poo poo: you still mad you carried that deskjet all the way to that girls house for nothing?
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Jul 15, 2020 17:53
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laser printers are actually really cool from a mechanical standpoint and are also a great example of how amazing technology can be rendered noxious by the droll incompetence of consumer manufacturing and/or bloodless calculus of capitalism
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Jul 15, 2020 17:56
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I was trying to buy something in a store last week (it was warhammers, keep it secret, I don't want to look like a huge nerd) but I couldn't pay because their sales process required a printout. The machine just sat there, laughing Also I learned recently from some other thread, printers are all snitches? They print tiny yellow dots on the paper with location information or something https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_Identification_Code
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Jul 15, 2020 18:00
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My first car was a stick
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let's take this device that literally precision-glues and melts individual grains of colored plastic dust onto paper eternally and cut as many corners as possible so it's prone to mechanical failure and then package it with a half-assed driver program to ensure the user spends at least half of its lifetime troubleshooting spooler errors
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Jul 15, 2020 18:01
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Buy a cheap printer use once or twice, sits there for a year or two, try and use it again nope. Full set of replacment inks is more expensive than printer itself. Buy another cheap printer. I think I've done 4 times so far.
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Jul 15, 2020 18:05
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Me in 1998: "Printers suck, but at least computer technology is advancing so rapidly that printer jams will soon be a thing of the past!"
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Jul 15, 2020 18:07
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je1 healthcare posted:Me in 1998: "Printers suck, but at least computer technology is advancing so rapidly that printer jams will soon be a thing of the past!"
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Jul 15, 2020 18:09
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Jim Long-un posted:laser printers are actually really cool from a mechanical standpoint and are also a great example of how amazing technology can be rendered noxious by the droll incompetence of consumer manufacturing and/or bloodless calculus of capitalism my brother b/w laser was less than 100 bucks and has been going strong for a decade. only suckers buy ink printers
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Jul 15, 2020 18:16
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Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam
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Jul 15, 2020 18:26
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Why the gently caress do I need a subsciption service for ink
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Jul 15, 2020 18:29
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The millions of people who died of covid will be remembered as heroes for finally forcing in the paperless office we've been promised since the nineties
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Jul 15, 2020 18:31
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Pussy Quipped posted:Why the gently caress do I need a subsciption service for ink 
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Jul 15, 2020 18:39
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EorayMel posted:What the gently caress is the point of printers in 2020? Printing customs paperwork in quintuplicate (in addition to the digital PDF copies you're required to supply to the carrier, of course). I do feel they suck a lot less now than they used to, like as demand for the things dwindles further and further manufacturers are struggling to survive because there's no longer an endless stream of suckers to scam into buying into any old shite attached to a costly cartridge racket and their desperation is increasingly driving them to do the unthinkable and offer products that aren't terrible and overtly consumer hostile for the first time since maybe the late 80s. edit: I only have experience with modern Samsung and Epson poo poo though, HP and Canon might still be the garbage fires they've always been.
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Jul 15, 2020 18:44
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There is one good thing about printers. The fact that the business and the issue around ink cartridges were so hosed up that it brought consumer right groups to sue the companies and set precedents around some shady practices. I mean most of them have been eroded away but still! 
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Jul 15, 2020 18:44
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je1 healthcare posted:Me in 1998: "Printers suck, but at least computer technology is advancing so rapidly that printer jams will soon be a thing of the past!" At this point I'm thinking it's more likely that printer woes will be solved by tablets getting cheap enough to be disposable than for the printer industry to wake up and make something not lovely. You ever watch that star trek? Not a piece of paper in sight*, they all have multiple iPads they all just throw around and give to people. *don't fact check this
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Jul 15, 2020 18:48
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Mystery Steve posted:Buy a cheap printer use once or twice, sits there for a year or two, try and use it again nope. Full set of replacment inks is more expensive than printer itself. Buy another cheap printer. Hell, I've done this at least 3 times with expensive, GOOD printers. Last 3 printers I've bought I said "I'm gonna get a really good one so maybe I never have to buy one again." I wanted the cast iron skillet of printers. But those all had mechanical problems and broke eventually. The lesson is that you had it right. Treat them like nonstick pans - get cheap ones and accept that you're just gonna replace them every couple years.
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Jul 15, 2020 18:55
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Jim Long-un posted:let's take this device that literally precision-glues and melts individual grains of colored plastic dust onto paper eternally and cut as many corners as possible so it's prone to mechanical failure and then package it with a half-assed driver program to ensure the user spends at least half of its lifetime troubleshooting spooler errors Unless it's a printer/scanner all-in-one where you have to install the software to use the scanner, then you're screwed.
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Jul 15, 2020 18:59
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je1 healthcare posted:Me in 1998: "Printers suck, but at least computer technology is advancing so rapidly that printer jams will soon be a thing of the past!" Me in 1998: "Jesus loving Christ why does every single printer need its own special driver? And why are there fifty different kinds of chargers? At least at some point we'll just get a standard for these things, surely." I once had a bid on a contract to put a network together for a local business. It all looked pretty good until the owner told me that it was non-negotiable that every single person (100+) have their own individual networked printer. I thought about it for a minute and realized I didn't want to spend literally the rest of my life doing tech support for 100+ individual wireless printers, 90% of whom were being manned by people 50 and older who struggled to remember how to turn poo poo on. I know the guy who took the contract. It made him visibly age. edit: i is not b
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Jul 15, 2020 19:01
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQGtucrJ8hM
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Jul 15, 2020 19:05
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Printers doo suck. Especially ones that don't want to connect to my office p.c even though we are in the same room  !
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Jul 15, 2020 19:05
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zer0spunk posted:my brother b/w laser was less than 100 bucks and has been going strong for a decade. only suckers buy ink printers in theory laser printers should be cheap, easy-to-maintain modular machines that Just Work for a nearly infinite amount of time. they're made out of common materials and devices and their principal parts can easily be constructed for reliability. in reality everything you buy is intended to break itself because you can't maintain an income stream off of a product that never needs to be replaced. that said inkjets are 5000x worse than laser printers for everything except extremely specific applications and if you let Best Buy or whatever sell you one of those pieces of poo poo you're a chump just like your fuckin grandma
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Jul 15, 2020 19:06
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Printers are bad, except in the one way that they are good. A lot of printers come with built-in scanners, so you can always get a really cheap scanner by going to Goodwill and buying a broken printer. The scanner part almost always works.
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Jul 15, 2020 19:07
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i'm sure i can't be the only person here who spent a lot of time troubleshooting printers for elderly relatives. it's horrible, and now i will always fundamentally printers.
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Jul 15, 2020 19:10
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I refuse to buy a printer and it's a big point of contention with my wife the once per year or two we need to print something. We both can print stuff freely at work, and we have a library a 3 minute walk away, and we have fedex and staples really close also. The cost:benefit ratio doesn't work in buying a printer's favor. I did offer to buy a label printer because that would actually be useful and we have a few bins of crap we have that we labeled as "to sell". I'd also buy a printer if I could buy it, do nothing for 10 years, and it'd still work. That's never how it goes though. It's always ink cartridges, constant firmware/software nightmares, oh you didn't use it for 30 months now it just doesn't work, and all that kind of printer life stuff. Pick posted:Printers are bad, except in the one way that they are good. A lot of printers come with built-in scanners, so you can always get a really cheap scanner by going to Goodwill and buying a broken printer. The scanner part almost always works. Khorne fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Jul 15, 2020 |
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Jul 15, 2020 19:12
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lmao
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Jul 15, 2020 19:14
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Pick posted:Printers are bad, except in the one way that they are good. A lot of printers come with built-in scanners, so you can always get a really cheap scanner by going to Goodwill and buying a broken printer. The scanner part almost always works. or you can buy a decent flatbed scanner instead of having a bolted on dead printer? my canon flatbed is also from 2012 and has been a tank (and comes with a bunch of negative holders for different formats on top of it) there's a whole rear end giant printer sh/sc thread, y'all could have saved yourself some money and listened to that thread, they know printers sadly Printer Questions Threat: All Printers Must Die e: the tldr from the decades long printer threads, get a durable rear end cheap b/w laser and call it a day. go to a copy shop if you sometimes need color and don't want to spend money on a color laser, or go for the pro ink stuff ($$$$) if you need to print color professionally for work..anything else is going to be a bad time zer0spunk fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Jul 15, 2020 |
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Jul 15, 2020 19:14
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Johannes Gutenberg ruined the world imo
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Jul 15, 2020 19:16
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Well I use the body part of it for a foot rest under my desk, so it does that too.
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Jul 15, 2020 19:16
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greybeards using printers passively aggressively is amazing though oh you had a question? I just printed out the page from wikipedia and put it on ur desk im going to print out this thread tyvm
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Jul 15, 2020 19:19
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A scanner seems just as useless as a printer these days, even when submitting documents you can usually just take a picture.
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Jul 15, 2020 19:20
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welcome to the greatest thread in gbs history
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Jul 15, 2020 19:21
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