Cheez-its Vs Cheese Nips

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BoldFrankensteinMir

Cheez-Its are a crunchy, savory tasting snack food sold by Kellogg's, a company founded by an eccentric millionaire to promote vegetarian foods.

Cheese Nips are a crispy, chemical tasting snack "food" sold by Nabisco, a company founded by a conglomerate of James Bond villains whose world domination plans are so politically charged I can't go into detail about them in this chill subforum.

Cheez-Its were invented in 1921 and while relatively more expensive remain popular with people around the world.

Cheese Nips were invented in 1955 and can't even be given away at food-banks because even poor people can still tell food from non-food.

Cheez-Its contain real cheese, and are available in dozens of flavors.

Cheese Nips contain Kraft "cheese" and are available in one flavor, "orange play-doh", stamped with dozens of vaguely recognizable cartoon characters portrayed as if they had severe gout.

Cheez-Its are a welcome sight at parties, from the Superbowl and the Oscars to graduations and even weddings.

Cheese Nips are buried in Superfund sites, where artists and engineers have come up with ways to warn distant future people not to dig there and risk poisoning the land and themselves.

What other differences are there between Cheez-its and Cheese Nips?

# ? Aug 3, 2020 20:33

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 20:44

Khanstant

my preference is thus:

# ? Aug 3, 2020 20:52

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Khanstant posted:

my preference is thus:

# ? Aug 3, 2020 20:53

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

cheese nips don't look like nips even a little bit aside from the hole in the middle

on the other hand cheez-its is misspelled and nobody has bothered correcting this in nearly 100 years. should've been spelled cheez tits

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Aug 3, 2020 20:55

Khanstant

the best cheezits are when you make nachoes in the oven using lovely pre-shredded cheddar b/c that's all there is and some of these cheese just gets on the baking sheet and crisps up into a bit of hard baked cheese and you munch it and it's like "ohhh so this is what a cheese-it is supposed to be)"

# ? Aug 3, 2020 20:57

idiotsavant

Khanstant posted:

my preference is thus:

this too is my preference

# ? Aug 3, 2020 21:16

BoldFrankensteinMir

Cheez-Its are available in a range of packaging sizes, from single servings to family value packs.

Cheese Nips are available in one size: too many. No package of Cheese Nips has ever been finished, as after two crackers even starving animals realize their mouths are now calked full of neon adobe.

Cheez-Its can be crumbled and used as a bold breading for chicken and other fried foods.

Cheese Nips can be compressed into armor plating that rivals depleted uranium at deflecting anti-tank rounds.

Cheez-Its were recently sold packaged with a box-wine for a limited time: No really, that happened

Cheese Nips are the focus of a song in a 1979 off-broadway musical based on a Kurt Vonnegut novel where a woman goes insane because her party guests eat Cheese Nips. Yup, that also actually happened.

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# ? Aug 4, 2020 21:27

Pahilla the Hun: Thinking about making a post

Think about it, make a post

prepuce repurposed posted:

cheese nips don't look like nips even a little bit aside from the hole in the middle

on the other hand cheez-its is misspelled and nobody has bothered correcting this in nearly 100 years. should've been spelled cheez tits

pizzaz plarpin perfect! thanks Tebulot!

# ? Aug 4, 2020 21:34

Finger Prince

Cheez-it is an old timey synonym for "let's skedadle!"

# ? Aug 5, 2020 01:36

Pahilla the Hun: Thinking about making a post

Think about it, make a post

i want some cheez-its right now

pizzaz plarpin perfect! thanks Tebulot!

# ? Aug 5, 2020 02:19

blaise rascal: "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

Hello, BFM! I like your thread. I did not know cheese nips were so heinous. But now I do. By the way, did your cool series about censorship get finished?

ty vanisher, ty khanstant

# ? Aug 5, 2020 02:23

unknown butthole: The old customs remain
and the ancient gods live on

Khanstant posted:

my preference is thus:

# ? Aug 5, 2020 03:17

Prof. Crocodile

in general I will always take nips over zits but this fresh take has me rethinking the nips/zits dichotomy

# ? Aug 6, 2020 00:30

BoldFrankensteinMir

blaise rascal posted:

Hello, BFM! I like your thread. I did not know cheese nips were so heinous. But now I do. By the way, did your cool series about censorship get finished?

Hello! Yes indeed, Cheese Nips are the chips off Satan's urinal cake, spread the word.

As for my show it got cancelled before we even finished the first season which sucked, I had two more eps written that were awesome but the Youtube rules about cartoons got all screwed up by COPPA. . It's a giant risk to publish cartoons for grownups there now, it's complete BS and put a bunch of cool people out of work.

On-subject content:

Cheez-its are approximately 26mm by 26mm, although larger and smaller variants have been released to some success.
Cheese Nips are approximately edible, and have been released in a thinner variety called "Cheese Nips Thin Crisps", which sounds like a mantra a serial killer might mumble as they hunt for victims in a dollar store.

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# ? Aug 6, 2020 03:03

alnilam

I like cheez its and i don't think i have ever even encountered cheese nips so now i know to beware thank you

# ? Aug 6, 2020 05:52

Stoner Sloth

BFM, please be careful - big cheese nip might be onto you! :ohdear:

sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!