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BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Hi guys. I've been thinking about my problems and I've realized that almost all of them could be solved if I just became rich.


I'm brainstorming ideas on how to do it right now and one that I really think has legs is if I got a job with a 7 or 8 figure salary but kept my expenses fairly low and invested the difference.

I'm open to any other ideas-

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Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017

by Pragmatica
Muldoon
The secret is making money

hell astro course
Dec 10, 2009

pizza sucks

leave samsara op

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Look down and locate thine bootstrap
Now bend over and pull!!!

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Sell both your kidneys. They're worth a lot more as an intact pair.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Once you sell kidneys you might quickly realize that there's plenty other spare parts that you weren't using anyways! Sell those too

Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017

by Pragmatica
Muldoon
Desktop size VHS players with USB

Jeffrey Dahmer fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Aug 4, 2020

Duck and Cover
Apr 6, 2007

Inherit/be gifted money.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Just stop paying for things.

bomb
Nov 3, 2005


More money more problems, just get a ticket to Costa Rica and disappear instead

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Come up with something really cool that a lot of people want and then only give it to them for money.

Borrowed Ladder
May 4, 2007

monarch of the sleeping marches
Rich people say it doesn't solve the problems that really matter and they would know

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Get a calculator. Type in your income, then times it by ten, then by ten again, divide by two, and finally add $350000000.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Borrowed Ladder posted:

Rich people say it doesn't solve the problems that really matter and they would know

If they give the money to me I will solve the problems that really matter

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
get really good at sucking dicks, op. And then open an onlyfans account to monetize these skills

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




You're going to have to marry an old rich dude. And touch his peen.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



if you get rich we're going to eat you i dunno if that's an incentive or deterrent but keep it in mind

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


William Henry Hairytaint posted:

if you get rich we're going to eat you i dunno if that's an incentive or deterrent but keep it in mind

what if i gave you something to eat instead, like a tomato

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Own a somewhat popular web forum and beat your wives OP and you'll be on your way.


Oh wrong kind of rich... but also still maybe right :smug:

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

what if i gave you something to eat instead, like a tomato

the fact that you will have tomatoes in abundance while we have none is the very core of the problem

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

Borrowed Ladder posted:

Rich people say it doesn't solve the problems that really matter and they would know

They are lying.

*Me, standing in front of a giant pile of Scrooge McDuck coins, in my giant dining hall, surrounded by delicious food and fancy cars I brought indoors just because I can, so gently caress you, with pictures from my last awesome vacation hanging on the wall*

"What, all this? Heck, all the money in the world won't buy happiness. What about love? What about your health?"

*Has bunches of free time to meet new people at fancy resorts, has AMAZING health insurance, and also has money enough to cover any procedure it doesn't just upfront*

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


Why would you want to become serial wife abuser, lowtax?

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


Take all your money, invest in stock. Take out margin on your stock, max your margin shorting the entire market.

You are either going to owe the bank over a million dollars or have over a million dollars. Nothing between is possible unless you don't have savings. In that case may I suggest instead you spend everything on instant win lottery tickets?

*none of this post is sound advice

TheReverend
Jun 21, 2005

Buy the forums and ruin your spine.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

OP I guess you need to ask yourself;

would it be wrong or it be right
if you made some cash tonight
Chances are that you might

And you're contemplating wealthy brides

Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017

by Pragmatica
Muldoon
You know how there's citrus trees with more than one type of fruit on them.

Invent that but for meat.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Jeffrey Dahmer posted:

You know how there's citrus trees with more than one type of fruit on them.

Invent that but for meat.

You mean a pig?

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007

welcome to dead gay house
why be rich when you can be poor

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Suck cocks in a parking lot for money, you'll thank me afterwards.

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

:derp:   :kayak:                                     
Give all your money to me and I will "invest" it for you.

abigserve
Sep 13, 2009

this is a better avatar than what I had before
Garfield themed coffee shops

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


If you're able to lactate you can always sell breast milk

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Tom Gorman posted:

If you're able to lactate you can always sell breast milk

Babies don't have any money, idiot.

Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017

by Pragmatica
Muldoon

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Babies don't have any money, idiot.

Just invent baby money

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Mirrored

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Babies don't have any money, idiot.

Then just sell the babies.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Frank Frank posted:

Then just sell the babies.

Then who's buying the milk?!

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Mirrored
The people buying the babies? Babies gotta eat something.

Edit: Alternatively, goblins.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Real grounded ideas here folks. The OP should sell breast milk to the goblins that buy their babies.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
i bet billionaires are crazy good at posting

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William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



Funky See Funky Do posted:

Real grounded ideas here folks. The OP should sell breast milk to the goblins that buy their babies.

look homie we're just brainstorming here. when somebody submits a business plan for selling breast milk to goblins THEN you can get sarcastic

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