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honda whisperer
Mar 29, 2009

Cross posting this but I thought you'd appreciate.

https://i.imgur.com/u8vcYfr.png?1

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Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

honda whisperer posted:

Cross posting this but I thought you'd appreciate.



Is the pawn store most of these are going to end up at next door, or is there a payday loan place between them?

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
It's beside a strip club lmao

TCD
Nov 13, 2002

Every step, a fucking adventure.
hello sweet friend

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
drat orig site is a crypto scam now

Guest2553
Aug 3, 2012



Lol my kids were distracting me and almost got goatse'd. They don't know how lucky they are I opened it in a background tab.

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.
\
Flexin' with $220. He can buy groceries for a family of 4 now.

Edit: also, its totally tasteless to call tattoos of a bad t-shirt like that Hibakusha tattoos after the survivors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki that had clothing patterns burned into their skin, right?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hibakusha

stealie72 fucked around with this message at 15:50 on Aug 15, 2020

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
He needs to head back to supply and get issued a goddamn chin.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

not caring here posted:

He needs to head back to supply and get issued a goddamn chin.

the loving master race

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

Memento posted:

the loving master race



we've streamlined this evergreen post's process fyi

:preacher:

TK-42-1
Oct 30, 2013

looks like we have a bad transmitter



It'll be cool to skeet all over that tat while he's deployed

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



TK-42-1 posted:

It'll be cool to skeet all over that tat while he's deployed

I was just thinking you could make a game of crossing out words with jizz on a tattoo like that.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Midjack posted:

I was just thinking you could make a game of crossing out words with jizz on a tattoo like that.

The only way that back could be more perfect is if she added "Hello my name is..." right below the stupid wife poo poo.

Vengarr
Jun 17, 2010

Smashed before noon
Looking in the job listings, one popped up for "Data Entry Specialist". I click on it and

"-REQUIRES ENLISTMENT IN THE ARMY OR ARMY RESERVES
-BECOME A MEMBER OF THE ELITE SQUAD!!!!!!"

Anyone here in the ELITE SQUAD of Excel Commandos?

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

I think that's the 2/123rd Keyboard Battalion - "The Fighting Fingers".

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Well loving played. :golfclap:

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

Vengarr posted:

Looking in the job listings, one popped up for "Data Entry Specialist". I click on it and

"-REQUIRES ENLISTMENT IN THE ARMY OR ARMY RESERVES
-BECOME A MEMBER OF THE ELITE SQUAD!!!!!!"

Anyone here in the ELITE SQUAD of Excel Commandos?

Literally this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPzqRpsbrGk

Scratch Monkey
Oct 25, 2010

👰Proč bychom se netěšili🥰když nám Pán Bůh🙌🏻zdraví dá💪?
The correct term is Intermilitary Administrator

https://youtu.be/JpgPD5M9AJs

Kith
Sep 17, 2009

You never learn anything
by doing it right.


When Dad was stationed over in Iranistan at Fort Dust, he was the only Navy guy in the middle of an almost completely Army base. However, outside of repeatedly explaining that counter-IED systems were not infallible magic, he had very little to do, so he happened to tag along for room inspections from time to time. This usually resulted in the usual "embarrassing but amusing discovery" stories - suction-cup dildos, unsecured lockers stuffed full of gay porn by thoughtful friends, maybe a turd or two for the particularly enterprising.

This is not one of those stories.

Today's protagonist is Cpl Louis. Louis was of average height and build and, despite working a motor pool in the Middle East, had somehow managed to maintain a shockingly pale complexion. According to those familiar with him, he spoke little and had almost no sense of humor - not that he was overly serious, but instead that he didn't really find anything funny. He was semi-popular because he was "allergic to loving around", but nobody really knew him because trying to chat with him was like explaining pornography to a mannequin.

Cpl Louis typically passed room inspection with flying colors - mostly because his room had nothing in it. He had no posters, no memorabilia, no books, no games - just the standard issue: a desk, a chair, a bed, and a locker. His room was always spotless, his trashcans empty, and his uniforms clean. It had gotten to the point where Louis's room was only given a brief glance; there was never anything to find and plenty of lockers to dump and dipshits to smoke, so nobody really bothered looking.

Until they found the miniature guillotine underneath his locker.

In a stunning display of emotion, Cpl Louis was embarrassed by the discovery and clearly nervous. He claimed that it was a novelty cigar cutter, but it was pointed out that nobody had ever witnessed Louis smoke. He then said that he had bought it in advance to attempt to motivate him to get into the hobby, but the guillotine had no obvious manufacturing marks and was clearly hand-made. Further excuses encouraged a detailed search that revealed the back wall of his locker was merely cardboard, and meticulously hand-painted to avoid detection. Upon removing the wall, two narrow cubbies were discovered.

The first, smaller cubby was full of art supplies - paints, brushes, fabrics, and so on. The second, larger cubby was full of Barbie and Ken dolls in neat stacks. Aside from a handful of obvious works-in-progress, they had all been repainted and refinished to a very realistic quality to resemble current or previous occupants of Fort Dust.

The vast majority of them were also decapitated.

Cpl Louis bolted instead of answering questions. He made a full-on death sprint across the base towards the closest gate, where he was unceremoniously stopped by the gate guard with a clothesline. I'm not privy to the questioning he underwent - or the answers he gave - but I do know that he was no longer stationed at Fort Dust within the week.

Kith fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Aug 16, 2020

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.
Welp the forever wars have been going on long enough that we now have dad stories from the war.

Vengarr
Jun 17, 2010

Smashed before noon
Based on this thread, If the guy had just said “it’s a guillotine, I’m going to use it for a prank” nobody would have bothered him or thought twice.

in a well actually
Jan 26, 2011

dude, you gotta end it on the rhyme

Headin’ down to bx to pick up my weekly bulk order of Barbies and warham paint kits.

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009


Vengarr posted:

Based on this thread, If the guy had just said “it’s a guillotine, I’m going to use it for a prank” nobody would have bothered him or thought twice.

"Gonna wake up my battle buddy by cutting off his dick, it's gonna be an epic prank" - "Alright, carry on"

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

It's a homemade briss, I'm helping cut down on the base VD rates by offering barracks circumcision!

ponzicar
Mar 17, 2008

MA-Horus posted:

It's a homemade briss, I'm helping cut down on the base VD rates by offering barracks circumcision!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4v8BVKlAfM&t=94s

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

50 Foot Ant’s GWOT stories just aren’t as good as his Cold War ones

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Now this is a forums relic I want a foia on

Kith
Sep 17, 2009

You never learn anything
by doing it right.


Internet Wizard posted:

50 Foot Ant’s GWOT stories just aren’t as good as his Cold War ones

after GUILLOTINE ANT (also known as CPL ANTOINE LOUIS) returned to the states, he was re-stationed at a FORMER TALIBAN FORTRESS HOLLOWED OUT OF A MOUNTAIN. there he obtained a HOT VAGUELY ETHNIC GIRLFRIEND by FIGHTING TALIBAN GHOSTS and BREAKDANCING ON A NUCLEAR WARHEAD. he had LOTS OF SEX and was also VERY GOOD AT FIGHTING and forged EVERLASTING BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP with his LARGE FRIEND by surviving the wrath of an ORNERY SNOWMAN together. his dad was VERY COOL AND POWERFUL AND INFLUENTIAL despite being part of a WEIRD SEX CULT. every woman who met GUILLOTINE ANT wanted to have LOTS OF SEX, except the ones who didn't who were OBVIOUSLY LESBIANS OR HUGE BITCHES. GUILLOTINE ANT had a VERY LONG AND LUCRATIVE CAREER doing SUPER SECRET WAR THINGS and frequently enjoyed CHICKEN A LA KING.

also, ALCOHOLISM IS FAKE. even if it was real, IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR YOU.

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

God dammit Ringo No!

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Oh god I’m the idiot I’m reading the Ringo series Black Tide Rising.
It’s so terrible across the board I have serious questions on why my non-mil buddy sent it to me. He thought a zombie apocalypse at sea would be good reading material for my time underway during covid days.

13yr old zombie fighter described as “jailbait”, “anime waifu” and “slit”.
Terrible gun descriptions.
Just so much garbage.
Questionable science.

However the “zombies” are actually fairly realistic. Scant praise for a festering pile of trash.

Wibla
Feb 16, 2011

I also read that series. The zombies are good and that's pretty much it.

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

LingcodKilla posted:

13yr old zombie fighter described as “jailbait”, “anime waifu” and “slit”.

:catstare:

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

I know its ringo but how did he make something more unsettling than a main character with a progresdive motor nuerological disease who fantasies about rape and then the guys he fell in with egging him on to try it with his female friend's mom. Also he had a crush on that friend too because why not

Kith
Sep 17, 2009

You never learn anything
by doing it right.


LingcodKilla posted:

“jailbait”

what

LingcodKilla posted:

“anime waifu”

the


gently caress

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Wibla posted:

I also read that series. The zombies are good and that's pretty much it.

Yeah it would almost be passable if they cut out the two teenage daughters.

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009


We all know that the teenage daughters are the whole point

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Kith posted:

what


the


gently caress

You do not want to know any more about John Ringo. Trust me on this.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

You do not want to know any more about John Ringo. Trust me on this.

Not an empty quote

ashnjack
Jun 8, 2010

FUCK FLOWERS. JUST...FUCK 'EM.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

You do not want to know any more about John Ringo. Trust me on this.

But the thread is great.
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3385144

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Kith
Sep 17, 2009

You never learn anything
by doing it right.


Vincent Van Goatse posted:

You do not want to know any more about John Ringo. Trust me on this.

I don't read as often as I used to, but I've got a buddy that I bother for author recommendations every now and then when I feel like picking up a good story or two. After seeing your post, I texted him: "I saw someone reading a book authored by one John Ringo." Almost immediately, he responded with "That's because they're an rear end in a top hat. Do not read ANYTHING by John Ringo."


and yet the temptation is so great...............

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