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MAKE ME PROUD, HAWKLAD 
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Aug 17, 2020 22:49
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Fumblemouse posted:wINners do drugs Contributor Simply Simon Genre: Science Fiction Protagonist attribute: Laser gun artisan craftsperson Protagonist obstructor: no hands What the protagonist wants: someone to test their creations Story setting: Somewhere in a universe you invented, and it's all sci-fi and poo poo Setting details: comet base, little space World problem: comet base is crumbling along with the comet Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Helps them gets what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Doesn't come into play at all (to the character's surprise) At the end of the story... The world problem is no longer relevant to anyone
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Aug 17, 2020 22:53
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fine gently caress it in but i'm going to write something real weird
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Aug 17, 2020 23:43
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Let's do this. In
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Aug 18, 2020 00:29
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I'm so glad I didn't miss this! In.
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Aug 18, 2020 02:00
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Form link for longer explanation of each category Full disclosure: I am mostly selecting these using an RNG, however I reserve the right to select prompts however I goddamn please. There may be opportunities to re-roll later, and I may offer some particularly hard or shitposty prompts to brave souls later this week. Stay tuned! Please let me know if I missed you, if you see any egregious errors, and so on. Siddhartha Glutamate posted:I'm so glad I didn't miss this! In. Contributor Applewhite Genre: Fantasy Protagonist attribute: Skeleton Protagonist obstructor: They are a skeleton What the protagonist wants: to have the life they had before they were a skeleton Story setting: On Earth, but magical realism Setting details: Modern day but like, the timeless "modern day" where Tarantino movies are set (or Archer) World problem: Skeletons can come to life Your protagonist... Used to have the thing they want, but now it's gone Your protagonist's attribute... Seems to backfire, but helps Your protagonist's obstructor... Seems to hinder them, but ultimately is helpful At the end of the story... The world problem is no longer relevant to the protagonist, The world problem is revealed to not be a problem after all crabrock posted:fine gently caress it in but i'm going to write something real weird Contributor Armack Genre: Magical realism Protagonist attribute: comedian Protagonist obstructor: the audience is comprised wholly of crickets What the protagonist wants: TO SLAY THE ROOM WITH COMEDY Story setting: On Earth, but magical realism Setting details: N/A World problem: Mass starvation Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Helps them gets what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Hinders them from getting what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is no longer relevant to the protagonist Mercedes posted:Let's do this. In Contributor Sebmojo Genre: Magical realism Protagonist attribute: Plumber Protagonist obstructor: Limbless What the protagonist wants: Beans Story setting: Somewhere in a universe you invented, and horror is happening Setting details: N/A World problem: Liquefaction Your protagonist... Used to have the thing they want, but now it's gone Your protagonist's attribute... Comes into play in an unexpected way Your protagonist's obstructor... Seems to hinder them, but ultimately is helpful At the end of the story... The world problem makes itself worse, The world problem is revealed to not be a problem after all
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Aug 18, 2020 04:13
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ah dammit alright i'm in
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Aug 18, 2020 05:26
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BeefSupreme posted:ah dammit alright i'm in yeeeeah my sentiments exactly throw me a thing
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Aug 18, 2020 05:53
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BeefSupreme posted:ah dammit alright i'm in Contributor Safety Biscuits Genre: Western Protagonist attribute: rock star Protagonist obstructor: silence What the protagonist wants: to plant a big tree Story setting: On Earth, sometime close to the present day Setting details: N/A World problem: mad monkeys Your protagonist... Feels guilty about what they want Your protagonist's attribute... Comes into play in an unexpected way Your protagonist's obstructor... Helps them get what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is revealed to be a different problem than previously thought Chili posted:yeeeeah my sentiments exactly Contributor Something Else Genre: Fantasy Protagonist attribute: Novice executioner Protagonist obstructor: Sweaty upper lip What the protagonist wants: Meeting father Story setting: Somewhere else in this universe, and it's all fantasy and poo poo Setting details: The Village of Dirtshropshire World problem: Too many ancient cairns Your protagonist... Has what they want, but are dissatisfied Your protagonist's attribute... Develops/changes in the course of hindering them from getting what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Doesn't seem so bad, then it gets worse At the end of the story... The world problem is revealed to be a different problem than previously thought
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Aug 18, 2020 06:24
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Dear Thunderdome, Inc., I'm currently available for freelance work. I have experience writing in multiple genres, and in the past, you have found some of my work at least moderately acceptable. If you have any projects that I could assist with at this time, please don't hesitate to reach out. Sincerely, Dr. Kloctopussy
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Aug 18, 2020 23:02
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In.
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Aug 18, 2020 23:12
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in 
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Aug 18, 2020 23:36
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Augh gently caress IN
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Aug 19, 2020 01:15
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Form link for longer explanation of each category Full disclosure: I am mostly selecting these using an RNG, however I reserve the right to select prompts however I goddamn please. There may be opportunities to re-roll later, and I may offer some particularly hard or shitposty prompts to brave souls later this week. Stay tuned! Please let me know if I missed you, if you see any egregious errors, and so on. curlingiron posted:Augh gently caress This outline was added back to the pool of options due to a reroll! City of Glompton Genre: Science Fiction Protagonist attribute: Green thumb Protagonist obstructor: city dweller/loves city life What the protagonist wants: to grow luxurious plants everywhere Story setting: On Earth, but it's all sci-fi and poo poo Setting details: in a large city, a few decades in the future World problem: The city is growing up and out, a sprawl of sterile concrete and steel. Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Helps them gets what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Doesn't seem so bad, then it gets worse At the end of the story... The world problem is not solved, but it's getting better Noah posted:In. Contributor Maugrim Genre: Magical realism Protagonist attribute: Divine dragon Protagonist obstructor: Forgetful What the protagonist wants: Peace and quiet Story setting: On Earth, but magical realism Setting details: Chinese restaurant in Soho, London World problem: Bells EVERYWHERE Your protagonist... Used to have the thing they want, but now it's gone Your protagonist's attribute... Seems to help, but backfires Your protagonist's obstructor... Doesn't seem so bad, then it gets worse At the end of the story... The world problem is not solved, but it's getting better, The world problem is revealed to be a different problem than previously thought Contributor Nethilia Genre: General/literary fiction (for our purposes, this just means contemporary stories set in the real world) Protagonist attribute: twelve year old kid Protagonist obstructor: gives in to peer pressure too much What the protagonist wants: new not-cool thing Story setting: On Earth, sometime close to the present day Setting details: a suburb and a middle school middle school, house, maybe a store World problem: the pressures of being cool and mature Your protagonist... Is in denial of what they want Your protagonist's attribute... Hinders them from getting what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Hinders them from getting what they want At the end of the story... the world problem just keeps on keeping on Sitting Here fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Aug 20, 2020 |
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Aug 19, 2020 05:06
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the random number generator of one of mine has placed me in.
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Aug 19, 2020 05:11
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Dr. Kloctopussy posted:Dear Thunderdome, Inc., Contributor nut Genre: Romance Protagonist attribute: beaver Protagonist obstructor: railroad baron What the protagonist wants: all of the water in the mackenzie river Story setting: On Earth, sometime in history or pre-history Setting details: 1880s Canada World problem: fleas and ticks, everywhere Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Helps them gets what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Is overcome in the course of pursuing what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is overshadowed by a worse problem Nethilia posted:the random number generator of one of mine has placed me in. Contributor Yoruichi's partner Genre: Western Protagonist attribute: One-eyed Protagonist obstructor: Mumbly What the protagonist wants: A pet dog Story setting: On Earth, sometime in history or pre-history Setting details: 1841, Yuma, Arizona World problem: Bandits Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Seems to backfire, but helps Your protagonist's obstructor... Is overcome in the course of pursuing what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is no longer relevant to the protagonist
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Aug 19, 2020 05:26
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im in and i solemnly swear to only write this story whilst being zooted on kush
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Aug 19, 2020 21:00
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Something Else posted:im in and i solemnly swear to only write this story whilst being zooted on kush Well then...   Contributor dope fiend killa g Genre: Road Trip Protagonist attribute: a pet store owner, has a parrot he talks to Protagonist obstructor: is really really high. maybe the weed was cursed.... or maybe just really strong. either way What the protagonist wants: to find parking Story setting: On Earth, but magical realism Setting details: East Los Angeles World problem: Lack of parking in East Los Angeles. Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Seems to help, but backfires Your protagonist's obstructor... Doesn't seem so bad, then it gets worse At the end of the story... The world problem is revealed to be a different problem than previously thought, The world problem is overshadowed by a worse problem
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Aug 19, 2020 23:42
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I picked a loving terrible month to quit weed didin't I
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Aug 20, 2020 00:38
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In Happy 420 yall.
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Aug 20, 2020 01:04
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Obliterati posted:I picked a loving terrible month to quit weed didin't I Contributor take the moon Genre: Science Fiction Protagonist attribute: mental ward patient Protagonist obstructor: vainglory What the protagonist wants: the sun to shine again Story setting: alternate version of earth thats also sci fi & poo poo Setting details: aeons in the future bleed between dimensions with a force field around it World problem: the bleed between dimensions is making peoples cells disentegrate Your protagonist... Is about to discover what they want Your protagonist's attribute... Becomes an OBSTRUCTOR Your protagonist's obstructor... takes the character completely by surprise At the end of the story... The world problem is not solved, but it's getting better SlipUp posted:In Contributor Schneider Heim Genre: Magical realism Protagonist attribute: Flower shop owner, their flowers have the power to make whoever touches them (skin contact) experience the emotions related to them as specified in the language of flowers Protagonist obstructor: they care too much about other people and sometimes assume what's the best for them without talking to them first What the protagonist wants: They want to make this particular customer happy, who has been coming to their store and leaves without buying anything Story setting: On Earth, but magical realism Setting details: Shopping district of a medium-sized city, modern day (before pandemic) World problem: People have stopped giving flowers, and the language of flowers is all but lost Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Helps them gets what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Hinders them from getting what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is not solved, but it's getting better
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Aug 20, 2020 03:25
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As promised! A re-roll opportunity. Read the following statements carefully, and only quote the portion of this post that applies to your situation. Failure to follow these very simple instructions will result in me ignoring your post and probably making fun of you in public. If you don't want to re-roll, don't do anything. Just go write your story. FFS do i have to spell out everything. Please note: if you haven't signed up yet, you can still sign up like normal and get a random story at the 2420 word count. You can also jump straight to options 2 or 3. 1. Quote only this part of the post if you would like to re-roll and receive a random story, but your word count falls to 1420 words. 2. Quote only this part of the post if you would like to receive what I consider to be an especially challenging prompt! You get to keep the 2420 word count if you select this option, but challenging assignments are final! No takebacksies. 3. Option three is the T-rex special! I still have six(6) prompts left from our top contributor and they are pretty drat good! Quote only this part of the post if you would like one of the excellent prompts submitted by Tyrannosaurus. Your maximum word count will fall to 1200
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Aug 20, 2020 21:23
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Sitting Here posted:1. Quote only this part of the post if you would like to re-roll and receive a random story, but your word count falls to 1420 words. I'll roll the bones RandomPauI fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Aug 20, 2020 |
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Aug 20, 2020 22:02
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Sitting Here posted:2. Quote only this part of the post if you would like to receive what I consider to be an especially challenging prompt! You get to keep the 2420 word count if you select this option, but challenging assignments are final! No takebacksies. HOPE I DON’T REGRET THIS LOL
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Aug 20, 2020 22:05
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Sitting Here posted:3. Option three is the T-rex special! I still have six(6) prompts left from our top contributor and they are pretty drat good! Quote only this part of the post if you would like one of the excellent prompts submitted by Tyrannosaurus. Your maximum word count will fall to 1200
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Aug 20, 2020 22:13
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RandomPauI posted:I'll roll the bones Sitting Here posted:1. Quote only this part of the post if you would like to re-roll and receive a random story, but your word count falls to 1420 words. Contributor FutonForensic Genre: Magical realism Protagonist attribute: gas station attendant Protagonist obstructor: isolated What the protagonist wants: to be somewhere else Story setting: On Earth, but magical realism Setting details: American Southwest, somewhere on Route 66 World problem: Cryptids, monsters and apparitions haunt the road Your protagonist... Used to have the thing they want, but now it's gone Your protagonist's attribute... Develops/changes in the course of hindering them from getting what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Is overcome in the course of pursuing what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is revealed to not be a problem after all curlingiron posted:HOPE I DON’T REGRET THIS LOL Sitting Here posted:2. Quote only this part of the post if you would like to receive what I consider to be an especially challenging prompt! You get to keep the 2420 word count if you select this option, but challenging assignments are final! No takebacksies. Here u go bb  Don't say I didn't warn you! Contributor Prof. Crocodile Genre: Romance Protagonist attribute: Harry Potter Fan Fiction Writer Protagonist obstructor: Dogmatic adherance to canon of Harry Potter universe What the protagonist wants: To write their magnum opus Story setting: On Earth, sometime close to the present day Setting details: Glut of Harry Potter slash fiction and self-insertion fiction World problem: Has what they want, but are dissatisfied Your protagonist... Has what they want, but are dissatisfied Your protagonist's attribute... Becomes an OBSTRUCTOR Your protagonist's obstructor... Hinders them from getting what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is made worse by the protagonist Antivehicular posted:T-Rex's prompts have guided me well in the past. Let's give this a shot. Sitting Here posted:3. Option three is the T-rex special! I still have six(6) prompts left from our top contributor and they are pretty drat good! Quote only this part of the post if you would like one of the excellent prompts submitted by Tyrannosaurus. Your maximum word count will fall to 1200 Contributor Tyrannosaurus Genre: Science Fiction Protagonist attribute: Lazy drunken hillbilly Protagonist obstructor: Heart full of hate What the protagonist wants: Forgiveness Story setting: Somewhere else in this universe, and it's all sci-fi and poo poo Setting details: Shooting Star (judge note: use this as you wish) World problem: Bad music Your protagonist... Is in denial of what they want Your protagonist's attribute... Becomes an OBSTRUCTOR Your protagonist's obstructor... Develops unexpectedly At the end of the story... The world problem is overshadowed by a worse problem
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Aug 20, 2020 23:55
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Hey when am i allowed to post my entry, i might be out of service much of this weekend
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Aug 21, 2020 04:07
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anytime until the deadline on monday
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Aug 21, 2020 04:13
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alnilam posted:Hey when am i allowed to post my entry, i might be out of service much of this weekend Yep, post any time between now and the deadline
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Aug 21, 2020 06:59
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(b)In (chicken)
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Aug 21, 2020 12:39
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arbitraryfairy posted:(b)In (chicken) Contributor Chopstick Dystopia Genre: Western Protagonist attribute: Mathematician Protagonist obstructor: Addict What the protagonist wants: Vengeance Story setting: On Earth, sometime in history or pre-history Setting details: 1860s Central Otago, New Zealand World problem: Fourteen Thousand Prospectors and little to no law (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otago_Gold_Rush) Your protagonist... Is in denial of what they want Your protagonist's attribute... Helps them gets what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Doesn't seem so bad, then it gets worse At the end of the story... The world problem is no longer relevant to the protagonist, The world problem is revealed to not be a problem after all
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Aug 21, 2020 22:21
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In
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Aug 22, 2020 02:43
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This story was put back in rotation due to a re-roll Julias Genre: General/literary fiction (for our purposes, this just means contemporary stories set in the real world) (Judge note: this genre doesn't exactly match the setting, so do your best!) Protagonist attribute: Former Mercenary Protagonist obstructor: Blind What the protagonist wants: Happiness Story setting: On Earth, and it's the near future Setting details: 2060s Middle East country waging war over water resources World problem: Due to Global Warming, Middle east is mostly uninhabitable and war is waged over resources like water, etc. Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Seems to help, but backfires Your protagonist's obstructor... Hinders them from getting what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is not solved, and will get worse Sitting Here fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Aug 22, 2020 |
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Aug 22, 2020 06:16
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In
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Aug 22, 2020 06:46
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Sitting Here posted:
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Aug 22, 2020 06:47
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 Signups are closed! Contributor sparksbloom Genre: Horror Protagonist attribute: motivational speaker Protagonist obstructor: insecure What the protagonist wants: to really make a difference to someone Story setting: On Earth, and horror is happening Setting details: modern day Canada World problem: people are melting whenever they're bored Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Develops/changes in the course of helping them get what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Is overcome in the course of pursuing what they want At the end of the story... The world problem is not solved, and will get worse, The world problem is no longer relevant to the protagonist Sitting Here posted:
Contributor Tyrannosaurus Genre: Magical realism Protagonist attribute: bodybuilder Protagonist obstructor: Shy What the protagonist wants: to do the right thing Story setting: Somewhere in a universe you invented, and horror is happening Setting details: country estate but its in a cloud World problem: animal welfare/extinction Your protagonist... Used to have the thing they want, but now it's gone Your protagonist's attribute... Is lost in the course of pursuing what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... takes the character completely by surprise At the end of the story... The world problem is no longer relevant to the protagonist
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Aug 22, 2020 08:09
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Sitting Here posted:1. Quote only this part of the post if you would like to re-roll and receive a random story, but your word count falls to 1420 words.
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Aug 22, 2020 12:41
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Crits from Week 418: Ancillary Action Author: Chopstick Dystopia Filme: Bladerunner Authentic Los Angeles Ramen Movie: Harrison ford, a robot hunter, stops at a ramen place in the rain. He has a brief exchange with the chef and orders food. He eats for a bit, then gets arrested. The chef translates for Harrison ford a few times. Story summary: A lady sits down to order noodles. Chef wonders about his wife’s happiness and his duty to serve noodles. He serves noodles, the lady leaves, he decides everything is fine. Fav line: “She wanted to like something and feel good for liking it.” a great way to show how Enji feels about her and people like her. Least fav line: “The afternoon darkened as gravity dragged curtains of water from the sky, separating the oblong diner from everything but the immediate sidewalk.” Overall impression: the story fits well in the blade runner noir universe with its descriptions of the setting/place. Not really sure what a mood link does, is that a thing from blade runner? I don’t remember it. I like the themes in this but it’s a little too purple, a little on the nose in places where it should be more subtle, and too subtle in places it should be more direct. Slightly too philosophical and nothing really changes for the Chef, he just thinks about things for a few minutes and decides everything is fine and maybe he’ll join his wife being happy. The conflict in this story is 100% internal and could do with some slight pressure from his wife to join her or something pressing like a deadline or something. It’s like 80% of the way there and makes me want to watch blade runner again. Author: MockingQuantum Film: Alien Jones the Cat, as played by Werner Herzog Movie: the cat runs around the ship while the alien is killing everybody. The alien notices the cat but doesn’t really seem to care. The cat gets somebody killed. It survives. Story Summary: The cat observes several scenes from the movie and comments on them. Fav line: “I have determined it is a sort of space-cat.” Least fav line: “The propulsion systems seem to be neglected and nonfunctional, which is to be expected.” Overall impression: oof, that opening line is purp to heck. So, so many adjectives in that opening paragraph. Sometimes less is more. If every noun has an adjective, they start to feel hollow and forced, and it falls into a weird rhythm. If you haven’t seen the movie, you will have no idea what is happening in this story, which is mostly a series of reactions. The cat possesses the weird “i understand human technology but am above it, i just don’t know the correct words so i call it something cutesy” trait that a lot of fiction animals / children have that annoys the poo poo out of me. I like the idea of the cat seeing this other predator and just being like “respect” but cats run from dogs and other big animals, not like they’re fearless or think they can’t be hunted as well. Have a hard time buying this character. Author: Something Else Film: Ghostbusters Busted! Movie: some friends from new york strap on fancy backpacks and blast ghosts. Story Summary: Fav Line: “you couldn't stiff a clown who'd already clowned, even if he failed out of clown college” Least fav line: "Gulp," I might have literally said. I was panicking. Overall impression: you’re over the word count, and unnecessarily so. So many words/lines could have been cut from this. The whole thing reads like a first draft, stream of conscious “get it on paper” thing. Then the ending seems like you literally just went with the first thought that popped into your head and you didn’t bother making sure this story was thematically consistent or anything. It’s like… why did you write this? What did you want your reader to get from it? Author: Simply Simon Film: Groundhog Day Bill’s Secret Movie: A dude is trapped in the same day over and over. He goes to a diner with a woman and to convince her he’s lived the day before goes around and says a little bit of info about everybody. He knows one of the waiters is gay. Story Summary: Bill sees an old crush come in and fixates on her and her date. then somebody new comes in and he turns his attention towards the guy. He “remembers” a bunch of sex stuff. The guy comes over and tells him he’s gay. He realizes he is. Fav Line: “In Punxsutawney, it’s always Groundhog Day, no matter if you’re still remembering the last or preparing for the next.” Least fav line: “Your blood boils because of this man, who seems like he has shown you something, gave you insight on a big secret, and now he’s here, intruding on your real workday, ignoring you, despite the special moments you somehow know you shared?” Overall impression: meh. In the movie the “i am!” doesn’t seem like it has so much denial behind it, just a sort of surprise that Bill Murray knows. But even without that, this story just feels hollow. I feel like “a character realizing they’re gay” is pretty overdone and there’s nothing here that feels like it’s groundbreaking or even fun. It’s just a guy agonizing over another guy he just saw. I think he is remembering past resets where he banged bill murray’s character? It’s hard to know what is real and what is imagined, as maybe he’s just been having the same fantasies every day each reset and they’re growing in strength. They also seem to contradict each other, saying “not for me,” and also that they stayed up talking about their plans for the future life together. The first part with the date / crush seemed unnecessary because it doesn’t really add all that much but takes a considerable amount of wordcount for him to feel similar feelings and ask similar questions as he does with Bill Murray’s character. Not a huge fan of this story and somehow it almost feels offensive? Though i don’t think you intended it to be but i guess you turned what i thought was a silly scene from the movie into a forced outting, which doesn’t make me feel good. Author: Saucy_Rodent Film: 2001: A Space Odyssey Clavius Movie: a black thing fucks up some monkeys, they go to space and find the black thing. A computer tries to kill everybody and sings a song. Story Summary: Some people on a moonbase have been abandoned. They are eating people who die / are murdered? They try to get help. They are offered help, but decline it for duty. There is a coup. They will get rescued. PSYCHE the real rescue was like “u jerks” and kills them. Fav Line: “The first time the crew of Moon Base Clavius resorted to cannibalism, they learned there's not much meat on the bones of someone who died from lack of bone-meat.” Least fav line: “I am saddened to see the tenor of these intercepted communications change, which has necessitated a change in our national security protocol.” Overall impression: I’m not 100% sure how radio frequencies work but I don’t think you need to “know” them. You can just transmit on different frequencies and hope somebody hears it. Anyway I was like “ah yeah” when i started this story, cause i like the first few lines. I thought it was gonna be a lighthearted romp through cannibalism, but then it fell back on some pretty boring plot of oh no we’re stuck! No we’re not! Ok we’re dead! And i don’t really know what you were going for but I didn’t care about anybody in this story and I don’t care that they’re hungry or dead. Author: a friendly penguin Film: The Big Lebowski Everyone Wants Something Movie: the dude answers his door and the super tells him about his quintet and asks if the dude can be there. The dude answers affirmatively. “No way’s he gonna go” you think irl but gently caress the dude actually shows up, though him and his buddies talk through the whole thing. Story Summary: Marty practices and hopes for his big chance. He gets it. Nobody cares. Fav Line: “ And that’s all he needed to hear before launching into the first movement of his quintet, squeezing himself into a ball and rolling across the floor” Least fav line: “A cancellation… Crane Jackson’s Fountain Street Theater… next Tuesday… would you like to move up the list?” Overall impression: i like the idea of this, and the heart, but describing a dance scene is kind of like watching somebody sing in an episode of a TV show, i’m like “oh god, this poo poo?” like i dunno, it was pretty loving boring and i really didn’t want to be reading it. You could have used that space to do something better. We SEE the dance in the movie, we know it’s loving weird. I’m not interested in that, i’m interested in MARTY and how this affects him, but i don’t really get to know that. A lot of missed opportunity here. Author: crabrock Film: Jurassic Park Jurrear endic Park Movie: dinosaurs Story Summary: a boy’s butt falls off Fav Line: “Stop looking at it, you’re making it worse!” Least fav line: “The car started back up and pulled onto the road as if nothing had happened, leaving behind a man shouting impotently into the wind.” Overall impression: wow i wrote something for the first time in over a year. Author: Tyrannosaurus Film: Amadeus Salieri Stopped Writing in 1804, or the Three Seasons of an Assassin Movie: Salieri gets really jealous of Mozart, who is pretty annoying. I don’t think i’ve seen the end tbh. Story Summary: an assassin is blackmailed into killing mozart. He don’t want to but he does. He feels guilty. He goes a bit mad, but not all the way. He gets revenge. Fav Line: “I absolve you of murder. Not of blasphemy.” Least fav line: “The Church’s messenger, the priest, an Italian, Bergamaschi, gave me a crooked smile.” Overall impression: this is decent but i want to read more of this world and character. It’s a lot shoved into a little space. It’s hard to do guilt in few words, I think, it always feels rushed to a conclusion. I feel like you learned how to write a good ending because it was very satisfying and i used to give you poo poo for that all the time, so good job. Author: Thranguy Film: Space Jam Hellrule: can't use 'a', 'the', 'of', 'to', or 'and' Nina, Who Clowned on Charles Barkley Movie: i actually haven’t seen it Story Summary: i think the girl rabbit thinks about the time she beat charles barkley? I honestly have no loving idea. Fav Line: “Get that knowledge, get those skills, be your hospital's number one cutter. Go surgical.” Least fav line: “Guy comes from fractional centuries, comes from Mars as well as deep hollows under ground.” Overall impression: i either love your stories because you create something beautifully weird or i hate them because i don’t know wtf is happening in your weird brain. Author: AstronautCharlie Film: Die Hard We’re All Staying Late Movie: john mcclain has marriage and german troubles. He hurts his feet. Story Summary: um. Weren’t they at an after-hours christmas party? Why would they just start doing work? Fav Line: “We’ve clearly been taken hostage” Least fav line: “We’ve clearly been taken hostage” Overall impression: honestly i zoned out and skimmed it cause i really didn’t care because i was too bugged that it seems to directly contradict the movie setting and i couldn’t focus on anything but that. Author: Noah Film: Forrest Gump Ebb Movie: two southern boys catch shrimp. Story Summary: some kid learns gump is on the football team. Hears one person is getting cut. Waxes a lot about his dad. Hates football. Gets cut, gets mad. Fav Line: “His father swore he would be at every game. He never made it to one.” Least fav line: “He thought about how his father used to tell him that he wanted to be buried near Denny stadium, so that he could always catch the game.” just so many pronouns Overall impression: write out numbers below ten, or do the whole time. Looks jarring how you have it now. Anyway this story has the seed of something good, but it falls flat in a few areas that ultimately make it a bit boring. Dean is playing football only because his dad wanted him to, but his dad is dead. Maybe spend a little bit more time on how Dean does want to be at college and sees football as the necessary evil. You kind of mention that might be the case, but never really talk about how Dean feels about all that. It seems more that he’s doing football for his dad, not for the scholarship. Lay the stakes out more clearly. Also, a story where he works his rear end off and then fails regardless, and we don’t know why, isn’t a great story. There needs to be a reason he gets cut, a reason you elaborate on so that we see it. Ostensibly he’s good enough to have gotten a scholarship in the first place, at a football-intensive program, so why does his working his rear end off not pay off? I thought he was gonna be happy to be cut since he hates football so much. Anyway I really wanted to like this story but it has too many holes. Author: CaligulaKangaroo Film: The Dark Knight A Few More Guys Like Batman Movie: a rich man puts on a costume and assaults mentally ill people on the streets Story Summary: I think this is based off the scene that like, the joker is killing people dressing up like batman. Anyway this story is from the POV of one of the knock-off vigilantes, but it’s shoe-string plot is mostly “hey remember stuff from the movie!” and weird world building. Fav Line: “Then while we were there, the bank was robbed by a gang of evil clowns driving a school bus.” Least fav line: “But I was passing abandoned amusement parks where Wonderland-themed kidnappers held the mayor’s daughter Alice hostage.” Overall impression: try to avoid dialog where one character is just asking questions over and over and over and the other is answering them. It’s not fun to read and just loving REEKS of “i, the author, need this information to further my story.” Questions are fine, but mix them in with a bit of action, some side comments, some statements. The first half of the story is an OK setup, but you kind of lose it in the end and it just feels lazy, contrived, and not really any good. The conflict in the beginning you set up is that he isn’t financially stable and doesn’t have the resources to move. Then you never bring that up again. At the end of the story nothing has changed for him, so it was just a series of events that followed the movie. I was judging I would have pushed for “Busted” to lose over this story, imo. But this is still pretty bad. Author: AlmightyDerelict Film: Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring Hellrule: Use no dialogue or inner monologue A Most Troubling Offer Movie: Some small people destroy jewelry. Story Summary: A farmer is mad that small people are eating his veggies. He goes to a bar and gets in a fight. He goes home and feeds some veggies to different small people. Fav Line: “ The farmer scoffed and moved along without saying a word, he had little desire to speak with foreigners, except for those who bought his produce or traded for it with good beer.” Least fav line: “A stout pony was hitched to a small wagon, and soon after the farmer departed on his journey to Bree and The Prancing Pony inn, fine fare and hot temper in tow.” Overall impression: “The farmer gave chase after them and ran into the lane where he saw four small hobbit children running away, leaving a trail of mushrooms behind them.” these kids stole the mushrooms while the farmer and his family were working in the field? Fuckin sneaky! “A stout pony was hitched to a small wagon” adjectives like these are almost as bad as adverbs. Like when the description of the nouns really makes no difference to the story it really feels like mad libs. This could have been a brown pony to a big wagon and it’s the same amount of information. Details should be used to build your world, set the scene, and provide characterization. If it was “an underfed pony was hitched to a rusty wagon” that would tell me more about the world and this farmer. “A well-fed pony was hitched to an immaculately maintained wagon” does as well (in the opposite direction). Don’t just add adjectives for no reason. Why does this guy get mad at some kids and then head to the bar? There’s really no motivation here, it’s just like things are happening for whatever reason. Give me some insight into this guy. Is he gonna go drink away his sorrows? Sell his veggies? Hope to meet a sexy hobbit lady and have an affair? Show me WHY he leaves. Anyway, this story is just kinda filled with random events and I don’t really understand any of the motivations, what happened to make him change how he felt about the kids, and why this guy does anything he does. That’s probably why you got a well-deserved DM, tho your hell rule sucked you still poo poo the bed. Author: cptn_dr Film: The Princess Bride A Drop of Roberts' Blood Movie: a grandpa reads a sick fred savage an awesome love story Story Summary: some pirates sit around and talk about dread pirate roberts and wonder what he’s up to, and play games and poo poo i guess. Fav Line: “We happen to people, not the other way around.” Least fav line: “I used to be a tonguer, d’y’know? “ Overall impression: You’re never going to be as funny and great as princess bride, so that’s a really high bar you set for yourself, and I don’t think you made it over. You didn’t fall on the ground and flop around, you kinda hit the bar with your nuts. So close. Anyway I found this story to be a bit too forced and a bit repetitive and i lost interest. It was the last story and I was bored of reading them, and this story just failed to capture my attention several times. Overall these characters don’t really have much agency or purpose, and their conversations aren’t fascinating or funny enough to stand on their own. I did like the opening and the general concept of it, but for a story like this to work, it’s gotta be great (like rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead). crabrock fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Aug 22, 2020 |
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Aug 22, 2020 18:35
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After I post this re-roll I'm going to be AFK for a while so ask for a new prompt at your own risk. I may not see your post until late tonight.Sitting Here posted:
Contributor Djeser Genre: Fantasy Protagonist attribute: Archaeologist Protagonist obstructor: Absent-minded What the protagonist wants: To be a well-regarded scholar Story setting: On Earth but there's magic and poo poo (not magical realism) Setting details: Hellenistic Mediterranean World problem: Temples vanishing into dream-world Your protagonist... Is trying to get the thing they want, but it's difficult Your protagonist's attribute... Helps them gets what they want Your protagonist's obstructor... Doesn't seem so bad, then it gets worse At the end of the story... The world problem is revealed to be a different problem than previously thought
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Aug 22, 2020 22:17
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 13:27 |
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PLEASE PUT YOUR OUTLINE WITH YOUR STORY WHEN YOU POST IT Just paste it in above your title, nothing fancy.
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Aug 22, 2020 22:18
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