post itt every time you lol that trump was president

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > post itt every time you lol that trump was president

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Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

Roundup Ready posted:

gently caress that list is huge, yet needs to be updated by like a hundred more entries since it's origin

oh yeah that list is legit 2 years out of date.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:33

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 11:23

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

hey wait a minute I just realized something

I'm not lolling about trump being president at all!

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:34

frh: Dec 6, 2014; Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1306749921173762049?s=19

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:34

Convex: Aug 19, 2010

https://www.theonion.com/donald-trump-stares-forlornly-at-tiny-aged-penis-in-mi-1819573577

quote:

NEW YORK�Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom's full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manhattan's Trump Tower to start the day.

According to reports, the 66-year-old had laid his suit out on his bed and was preparing to step into a pair of silk boxer shorts when he glimpsed his deteriorating body in the mirror. Trump then spent approximately 15 to 20 minutes morosely reflecting on his appearance, dedicating most of that time to gazing at his desiccated sexual anatomy and contemplating its all-but-total lack of function.

"God, look at this thing," said a dejected Trump, hoisting up a large quantity of belly flab with his forearm to make his stunted organ visible. "Pitiful."

Trump, who in just over an hour would be appearing on the morning show Fox And Friends to assert that the president of the United States was not an American citizen, is said to have grasped the bulb of his penis with his thumb and forefinger and stretched the organ to its full 3-inch length before letting it go and leaving it to loll on an unruly tangle of mostly gray pubic hair. Noticing the pronounced droop of his scrotum, Trump glumly cupped his testicles in his hand and lifted them several inches until they reached the approximate height at which they had hung in his youth and even into early middle age.

Sources say Trump sat on his bed and lightly shook his head for a full five minutes.

At this point, Trump is purported to have released the heavily crinkled pouch and sighed deeply.

"What the hell happened?" said Trump, who appeared to receive no reassurance by swiveling and viewing his shrunken penis in profile. "It's just�dead."

Sources confirmed Trump then received a phone call from an Associated Press reporter asking him to respond to charges that he was a "blowhard" and a "bully," allegations Trump managed to address despite his preoccupation with the condition of his sexual organ.

"I'm rich and famous, and everyone wants to be me," Trump told the caller, all the while struggling to recall the last time he was able to achieve even a partial erection. "That doesn't make me a bully. That just makes me better than most people."

"There's never been a success story like mine in the history of America," continued Trump, who briefly tipped the phone away from his mouth as he licked his palm and began tugging on his penis with a loose fist. "I'm a phenomenon, and I don't care who knows it�of course, everyone already does."

Upon disconnecting, Trump continued to stroke vigorously for three full minutes before giving up in exhaustion.

Shortly thereafter, Trump reportedly turned his attention to the remainder of his body, miserably noting in his reflection the complete absence of muscle tone in his arms, the vast network of wrinkles on his face that showed through despite a freshly applied layer of bronzer, and the loose flesh on his neck, which he pulled taut several times with his thumbs. According to sources, Trump then attempted to shake free of his melancholy by rising to his toes in a boxing stance and pantomiming a series of punch combinations, an effort that quickly embarrassed him and intensified his gloom.

"Sixty-six years old," said Trump, who has an estimated fortune of $2.9 billion. "What's 70 going to look like? And 75? What the hell am I gonna do then?"

Gazing over at the clothes neatly laid out on his bed, Trump added, "Goddamn it."

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:34

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

hey wait a minute I just realized something

I'm not lolling about trump being president at all!

Same. This poo poo is getting to me, time for another break.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:34

Owl Inspector: Sep 14, 2011

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:35

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; Bag Flying At Noon, (2024)

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:42

Junk: Dec 20, 2003; Listen to reason, man. Why make your job difficult?

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

hey wait a minute I just realized something

I'm not lolling about trump being president at all!

back to cspam with you

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:43

Grondoth: Feb 18, 2011

I hate everything about Trump, but the thing I hate the most is how much he's made me hate my countrymen.

I spent a lot of time in poor, rural areas. The suffering I saw inspired me to change careers. I talked to people there and found common interests and got them to look at things through a different lens, to see how things could be so much different if just even a small amount of stuff was done. Distributing power just a little bit, making things a bit fairer, bringing back things that we used to have, they could change peoples lives drastically. Diffuse the power grid, build more rail, things like postal banking and guaranteed child care, actual health care that works like other countries! People just limp around with medical problems that they never have looked at because they can't afford it. Addiction is rampant and the only treatment is a 12 step program under some church every other tuesday. These people can't get a loving loan for anything. Towns are literally disappearing as everyone leaves and the ones left kill themselves either on drugs or on purpose.

But now? Those places are full of Trump flags. They hate me. They love Trump because he makes people like me mad. He's done gently caress all for them but let them be the worst they can be and they love him for it. These people used to be victims in my mind, fellow Americans that had been beaten down by the same systems that crush the whole world. Now they're enemies. The things I want to see, for them, for a more just world, can only be gotten by going through them because they no longer see people like me as part of America. Facebook's convinced them people like me want to traffic children to elites who eat them, when people like me have been trying to deal with actual, real human trafficking for decades. Giant flags with "NO MORE BULLSHIT," when Trump's said nothing but bullshit for 5 years. But I know what the bullshit is in their mind, it's trying to reckon with the nation's history of racism and inequality. It's worrying about leaving a habitable earth. It's even pretending to care about people who aren't like you.

The bullshit is the stuff that's needed to make this world a better place. Trump's made a political movement of shedding any pretense of decency, of embracing ignorance and finding a way to hate the people who share the country with you even though you never meet them. But now I hate them now, too. I hate those flags, I hate those run down houses, I hate those tiny towns with shuttered main streets. I hate meth mouth, I hate junk filled yards, I hate fat people with bug gulps, I hate raised pickups, I hate it all. I want them to curl up and disappear already, because life has passed them by and instead of trying to catch up they want to drag it backwards.

I don't like it. I hate what I've become, too.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:43

pumped up for school: Nov 24, 2010

Roundup Ready posted:

gently caress that list is huge, yet needs to be updated by like a hundred more entries since it's origin

Os there any way to put a post on a yard sign? Because I was out of town for a week and returned to a crop of trump2020 signs on my street.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:46

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Today, I laughed out loud, because Donald John Trump is President of the United States of America.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:51

free hubcaps: Oct 12, 2009

flakeloaf posted:

Today, I laughed out loud, because Donald John Trump is President of the United States of America.

im sorry who

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:56

Womyn Capote: Jul 5, 2004

Grondoth posted:

I hate everything

lol imagine caring about anything

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:56

InternetJunky: May 25, 2002

4 pages without beans yet?

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:00

InsertPotPun: Apr 16, 2018; Pissy Bitch stan

https://twitter.com/ZackBornstein/status/1261853530748420096

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:04

Dr.Caligari: May 5, 2005; "Here's a big, beautiful avatar for someone"

Remember the extension that would turn all of Trump tweets into crayon scrawl

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:06

caleb: Jul 17, 2004; ...rough day at the orifice.

Grondoth posted:

I don't like it. I hate what I've become, too.

He is not campaigning on issues he is just trying to divide us with animosity. He does not care about anything at all and is purely an opportunist who seeks to enrich himself. This is why I constantly lol in this thread. If you try to make sense of it you're going to have a bad time.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:07

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:14

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

mcvey posted:

1st

2nd

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:15

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

https://twitter.com/MarshaBlackburn/status/1306763866802659328?s=19

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:21

MysticalMachineGun: Apr 5, 2005

"History isn't real" - Americans, I guess

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:24

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

https://twitter.com/scharpling/status/1306722620277022720?s=19

Lol

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:24

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:25

Chuds McGreedy: Aug 26, 2007; Jumanji

Posting on historic page 4

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:30

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Great clip from tonight

https://twitter.com/CNN/status/1306759159963176960?s=19

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:32

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:37

Chumbawumba4ever97: Dec 31, 2000; by Fluffdaddy

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Great clip from tonight

https://twitter.com/CNN/status/1306759159963176960?s=19

He's flat out saying in the open that he wants a public option. I know it's a baby step but that's a somewhat big deal.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:38

Grondoth: Feb 18, 2011

Chumbawumba4ever97 posted:

He's flat out saying in the open that he wants a public option. I know it's a baby step but that's a somewhat big deal.

The public option was supposed to be part of the ACA, but Joe Lieberman loving killed it. I'm not surprised that's the moderate dem position now.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 02:44

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shanghaied posted:

lmao I just noticed the piles of fish delights, a sandwich that no one except Trump eats.

they were originally put on the menu for catholics for lent, presumably biden also partakes

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

https://twitter.com/CNN/status/1306757031609667585?s=20

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:03

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1306775148859723778?s=20

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:08

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

I love how almost everyone of a certain age can't not see that.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:11

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

one thing I never see people mention is that biden clearly swears all the time and even during the town hall he obviously is so used to phrases like "bust his rear end" that he just has filler phrases like "bust his neck" and he still dropped a hard "drat" at least once and was like 2 picoseconds from a "poo poo"

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:12

frh: Dec 6, 2014; Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator.

https://twitter.com/angrycrackbaby/status/1306358148895330306?s=19

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:12

MysticalMachineGun: Apr 5, 2005

Pick posted:

a hard "drat"

oh man

his mom is gonna be so mad

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:18

Ellaybee: Jun 17, 2005

I hope the laughing stops this year. My balls scream through space because of it. And

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:18

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Pick posted:

one thing I never see people mention is that biden clearly swears all the time and even during the town hall he obviously is so used to phrases like "bust his rear end" that he just has filler phrases like "bust his neck" and he still dropped a hard "drat" at least once and was like 2 picoseconds from a "poo poo"

He was well known for cursing on hot mics and sometimes right in the open when he was VP. It was usually just chuckled about.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:30

King Vidiot: Feb 17, 2007; You think you can take me at Satan's Hollow? Go 'head on!

InsertPotPun posted:

https://twitter.com/ZackBornstein/status/1261853530748420096

That must be the world's tallest little girl, to be almost up to the shoulders of a 6'2" hulking he man like that.

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:32

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Nocheez posted:

He was well known for cursing on hot mics and sometimes right in the open when he was VP. It was usually just chuckled about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzgq70kO4Sk&t=23s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paY_hn78NjM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVVhDIuQK-M

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:34

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 11:23

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Pick posted:

one thing I never see people mention is that biden clearly swears all the time and even during the town hall he obviously is so used to phrases like "bust his rear end" that he just has filler phrases like "bust his neck" and he still dropped a hard "drat" at least once and was like 2 picoseconds from a "poo poo"

dude was bffs with strom thurmond and palled around with jesse helms and george wallace, he definitely "used to" say the n word a lot

also apparently trump used to drop n bombs on the set of the apprentice, so fingats crossed that they'll both start screaming it at eachother on stage or something

# ? Sep 18, 2020 03:36

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > post itt every time you lol that trump was president

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