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Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


I've never been to a glory hole restroom before and I feel like it needs to get added to my bucket list. But I'm scared and not sure what the rules are. Which toilet is for the sucker and which toilet is for the dick wanting to be sucked? Do you have to take turns? What if a weird dick comes through, is there a secret code I can issue to turn it down? Like can I pat the dick three times or something to politely say no thanks? Help me please!

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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Just use Morse code.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

yeah you just suck the dick a couple of times and if they persist push your rear end up against the wall to show 'em who's boss.

Workaday Wizard
Oct 23, 2009

by Pragmatica
stick your dick in they are dickhole

Fartington Butts
Jan 21, 2007


Make fart noises.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
im sticking this thread because I am being blackmailed, the dairy queen bathroom is good for u know what

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
Ghost Reaper sauce is suggested as a repellant

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Dinosaur Gum
I've always felt this song had other, more nefarious intentions in mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wT5ms2Nvpco

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


Colonel Cancer posted:

Just use Morse code.

I gotta learn a new language to go to a glory hole? Ugh, I didn't know it would be this hard.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Cartoon Man posted:

I gotta learn a new language to go to a glory hole? Ugh, I didn't know it would be this hard.

You've never heard of the Gay Code before? You've got a long way to go before you're ready for a glory hole.

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002
Hell Gem
what if there is no glory hole but you still want some mensroom action?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
No guts no glory

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Bum the Sad posted:

what if there is no glory hole but you still want some mensroom action?

Where there is a will there is a way.

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Dinosaur Gum

Bum the Sad posted:

what if there is no glory hole but you still want some mensroom action?



Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


If I showed up to the glory hole restroom and there’s no glory hole, I’d do that grandpa Simpson gif thing and nope the gently caress outta there.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009
What if you put your dick through the hole at the same time as the other guy and your dicks go hole to hole?

Dr. Quarex
Apr 18, 2003

I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA
I once went into a rest area bathroom pretty late in the day and there was a dude milling about outside. I did not think much of him, but when I went in and closed the stall door I heard someone come in. I was like... "Guess that guy was smoking before he used the bathroom or something."

A few minutes later I came out and he was staring at me. I treat everything as normal in life so I said "hi!" and washed my hands and left. I did not know about glory holes yet but I would be shocked if there was not one there, tragically unused that day

(I have seen incredibly few glory holes in my time despite knowing about them and actively hoping to encounter one; did hookup apps reduce their prevalence?)

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Dinosaur Gum
:siren:-=(IK CHALLENGE=-):siren:

If this thread gets to 4 pages of quality, glory hole related posts I will do my own thread-pertinent rendition of "Glory" by Laura Branigan, to uh... consecrate the thread

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002
Hell Gem
Well I’m out

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
It's like pennies at the cash register: take a dick, give a dick.

Workaday Wizard
Oct 23, 2009

by Pragmatica
what happens when a dicklet pops out of the hole? are you supposed to card them?

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002
Hell Gem

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

what happens when a dicklet pops out of the hole? are you supposed to card them?

Don’t dickshame me

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

What if the penis has such a wicked curve that glory holes are essentially unusable?

Asking for a friend.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Waterbed Wendy posted:

What if you put your dick through the hole at the same time as the other guy and your dicks go hole to hole?

oh.

oh we have such sights to show you.

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


If I freak out at what comes through the hole can I just do a hand job instead or is that poor manners? Do I need to man up and open wide?

Knot My President!
Jan 10, 2005

glory holes are the ultimate form of big feminist sexual power (for all genders)

- equal opportunity employment that exists outside the crushing bounds of capitalism
- is not classicist-- the peoples' golf; available to everyone, with your biggest competitor being yourself and you feel good if you improve your stroke
- the only power dynamic is your personal limit of how many dicks you wanna suck

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009
Maybe just wrap it in toilet paper and maybe the guy will think his dick is a mummy and get scared and leave. The thing is if he is a mummyphile he might get more excited.

Please be careful

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
I’m deeply scared of mummies this thread is my own personal Vietnam

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

I’m deeply scared of mummies this thread is my own personal Vietnam

:same:

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


I found some helpful guidance!

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

Cartoon Man posted:

I found some helpful guidance!



Thanks, this helps

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004



Don’t be fooled by imposter holes.

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Dinosaur Gum

a peck of pickled peckers posted:

What if the penis has such a wicked curve that glory holes are essentially unusable?

Asking for a friend.

We got you, fam!

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
Who's cutting these holes, and with what?

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004




Please make sure of the correct height before making a hole!

RepeatingMeme
Dec 27, 2012


this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited


The only problem with glory holes is that when im finished then its just a hole the other guy and peek through and stare at me while i poop. Like, thanks dude for the bj but now im jus tryin to do my business here gosh

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Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Dinosaur Gum

Knot My President! posted:

glory holes are the ultimate form of big feminist sexual power (for all genders)

- equal opportunity employment that exists outside the crushing bounds of capitalism
- is not classicist-- the peoples' golf; available to everyone, with your biggest competitor being yourself and you feel good if you improve your stroke
- the only power dynamic is your personal limit of how many dicks you wanna suck

:siren:-=(Second IK Challenge)=-:siren:

5 pages and I'll also do "Glory, Glory holelallujah" by request!

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