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jesus WEP posted:poor old baby, saw a “you are now breathing manually” meme and died meme state by default
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 21:58 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:15 |
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my buddy's baby was 4 weeks preemie and they monitor for that and wake them up manually if it happens. his only did it one time the second night and is doing fine now thankfully.
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 21:59 |
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Sagebrush posted:Babies are maybe even dumber than horses mostly because labor and delivery of a 15 month old in utero would have a natural 100% maternal mortality rate lol
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 22:01 |
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Fuzzy Mammal posted:my buddy's baby was 4 weeks preemie and they monitor for that and wake them up manually if it happens. his only did it one time the second night and is doing fine now thankfully. we had that for our younger son. he was born 8 weeks early. went off a few times. wife is a nicu nurse by training so it was pretty chill.
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 22:02 |
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i had a date with a nicu nurse recently and she said there was a huge drop in preterms during the covid lockdown here. mothers just being at home and chilled out was good for the babies
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 22:10 |
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PIZZA.BAT posted:i am so loving glad i'm not in school right now because jfc doing it all via zoom has to be the worst thing ever and i 100% would be failing every class seriously
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 22:17 |
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also be safe on motorcycles goons. my coworker is still not out of hospital after 16 weeks post wipeout and just lost his leg. saw his wife commuting home and caught up to her to hotdog around and crashed right in front of her. rough times.
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 22:25 |
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Fuzzy Mammal posted:also be safe on motorcycles goons. my coworker is still not out of hospital after 16 weeks post wipeout and just lost his leg. saw his wife commuting home and caught up to her to hotdog around and crashed right in front of her. rough times. lol. if i did something like that hopefully the crash would kill me because my wife would come after me like homer throttling bart.
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 23:45 |
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Uptime Sinclair posted:human babies are normally born a good 3-6 months premature compared to other animals
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 23:49 |
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that's a pretty common term, you'll see that a lot of places
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 23:50 |
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FMguru posted:a "fourth trimester"
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# ? Sep 27, 2020 23:56 |
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jesus WEP posted:this kills the sagebrush
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 00:02 |
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reminds me of gradechat from a while back. 4.2 on a 4.0 scale
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 00:02 |
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FMguru posted:ive seen it suggested that the first three months after birth constitute a "fourth trimester" in developmental terms i prefer the term "larvae" myself
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 00:03 |
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President Beep posted:my children avoided this by never loving sleeping if they're crying they're alive
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 00:33 |
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Insect larvae can feed themselves, find shelter, and fight off similarly sized predators. Even by the most generous definitions humans can't do that before they're 2 or 3 Infants are screaming pooping eggs
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 00:43 |
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jesus WEP posted:this kills the sagebrush
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 01:51 |
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jesus WEP posted:this kills the sagebrush
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 02:07 |
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Sagebrush posted:Insect larvae can feed themselves, find shelter, and fight off similarly sized predators. Even by the most generous definitions humans can't do that before they're 2 or 3 gently caress off, shithead.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 03:40 |
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i bet none of my undergrad students know what "mr. britannica" means.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 03:45 |
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calvin and hobbes is really great
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 03:46 |
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i really missed the boat wrt bullshitting my first son like that. good thing we have another.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 03:47 |
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Sagebrush posted:
I bet no one likes your posts, shithead.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 03:51 |
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President Beep posted:i really missed the boat wrt bullshitting my first son like that. good thing we have another. my oldest should be entering the why stage soon, i'm looking forward to it for exactly that reason we already have her thinking that the tv "needs to sleep" sometimes
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 03:57 |
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lol
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 03:57 |
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Sagebrush posted:
its the guy that hides in a free standing blue work cubicle
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 04:05 |
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... ...a porta-potty?
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 04:05 |
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President Beep posted:i really missed the boat wrt bullshitting my first son like that. good thing we have another. i was just so looking forward to Calvins Dadding my son but when he got here I just couldn't do it, I dont know why.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 07:21 |
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rotor posted:i was just so looking forward to Calvins Dadding my son but when he got here I just couldn't do it, I dont know why. it's because this stuff is cute in cartoons but irl you want your kid to be grounded to reality a bit more than that e: this doesn't mean you should teach your kid about sex at five years old or such hippie bullshit
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 07:45 |
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When I was little back in Texas my dad told me to avoid armadillos because they're radioactive. I confronted him about it like 20 years later and he said "well technically son, all living things emit a bit of radiation", so that's me owned. He also convinced me that jackalopes are real, but only common back in Lubbock so wasn't going to see any.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 07:56 |
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santa claus is watching you all the time and knows if you pee the bed and don't tell us
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 07:56 |
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I'm totally going to do that stuff when I have a kid. Things like "ya know, back in <wherever my future wife's family comes from> they used to eat pinecones for fun" and see if it comes up at a thanksgiving years later or something.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 07:58 |
Fortaleza posted:I'm totally going to do that stuff when I have a kid. Things like "ya know, back in <wherever my future wife's family comes from> they used to eat pinecones for fun" and see if it comes up at a thanksgiving years later or something. eagerly awaiting the post where you're waiting in the ER because your kid ate a pinecone
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 08:09 |
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PokeJoe posted:eagerly awaiting the post where you're waiting in the ER because your kid ate a pinecone Well hopefully I'm a good enough parent to teach my kids how to chew and not swallow things like a duck.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 08:13 |
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Fortaleza posted:Well hopefully I'm a good enough parent to teach my kids how to chew and not swallow things like a duck. children don't give a gently caress. we had a kid at school who would get frustrated with shelling salted sunflower seeds so he ate them outright shell and all. i have no clue how his intestines didn't clog.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 08:36 |
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my favorite little kid fiction was some rural hippie types who told their kids that the tv was broken and only worked when it was raining.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 08:54 |
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Fortaleza posted:When I was little back in Texas my dad told me to avoid armadillos because they're radioactive. I confronted him about it like 20 years later and he said "well technically son, all living things emit a bit of radiation", so that's me owned. i mean they do carry leprosy so that's probably good dad advice you were given there. a classic I heard is that the ice cream van only plays music when it's run out of ice cream to save you a wasted trip
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 09:10 |
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:i mean they do carry leprosy so that's probably good dad advice you were given there. Yeah he told us that armadillos are radioactive and have leprosy, which sounds crazy as hell but turns out the leprosy part is real!
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 09:16 |
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it’s hilarious in the abstract but the fundamental problem with calvin’s dadding your kids is that if you don’t stop doing it soon enough they’ll discover that you’re lying to them for your own benefit, and you can’t really get that credibility back.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 09:23 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:15 |
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That's why you just need to lie for no benefit beyond entertainment, like my grandpa maintaining completely matter-of-factly for my entire life that he had no brain because when he was a kid he hit his head and his brain popped out and he lost it.
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# ? Sep 28, 2020 09:27 |