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There's a lot of little nuggets of info in here, like how he's SO PROUD of coming up with piggart as an orc slur, cause of how uncomfortable it feels. He only barely acknowledges that the uncomfortable feeling comes from it borrowing very heavily from the n-word, and thinks fantasy racism has to be heavy handed or it won't register with people. And it wasn't until March Across Maltak that he started to actually burn out on the Deeganverse. Star Power (Which was originally called CAPTAIN SPACE) is only a woman because an initial criticism of the comic was that their main character was interchangeable, so to counteract that they made Danica a woman. In fact, Danica, Dominic, Luna, Greg and even Sigfried were all made to be contrarian. Greg's disabled because nobody expects the healer to be disabled, Luna's got tusks because nobody expects an ugly deformity, etc...Mookie might be the first troper. We even get an idea of how Garth and Mookie collaborated on scripts, and the writing felt so much like Mookie's because the two are of like minds. Except for an initial script for chapter 3, which was so terrible Garth refused to draw it and even Mookie admits it was bad. How do I read this.
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Sep 28, 2020 18:08
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 05:35 |
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I honestly can't imagine how awful something has to be that even Mookie agreed it was bad. He thought making a heroic rapist was a good idea!
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Sep 28, 2020 18:18
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Captain Space and Mayor Lands.
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Sep 28, 2020 18:30
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Marin Karin posted:I honestly can't imagine how awful something has to be that even Mookie agreed it was bad. He thought making a heroic rapist was a good idea! Probably accidentally had the heroes acknowledge an antagonist to have a good point about something.
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Sep 28, 2020 20:19
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Robot Style posted:admitting that the Dominic character got him kicked out of his D&D group for being too annoying  I knew it was a fanfic of his character but I never knew that. The perfect punchline to this joke of a comic.
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Sep 28, 2020 20:34
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And Snout got him banned from FetLife.
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Sep 28, 2020 21:28
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Ague Proof posted:And Snout got him banned from FetLife. I can't tell if this is a joke or a real thing that happened at this point.
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Sep 28, 2020 21:29
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Sounds plausible enough tbh
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Sep 29, 2020 04:36
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If you thought Mookie was outta his depth before, now he's got two characters who can't communicate, both without clearly defined goals or direction. How's he gonna aimlessly wander his way outta this one? 
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Sep 29, 2020 18:59
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I don't like this Wizard of Oz remake.
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Sep 29, 2020 19:08
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The Legacy of Dominc Deegan: How to Plan Memorable Comics
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Sep 29, 2020 19:13
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Want to name drop a good story with no dialogue. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Arrival_(graphic_novel) It's about an immigrant in a magical realism-type type world. I read it years ago and it was pretty good.
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Sep 29, 2020 19:15
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How can Mookie be so bad at drawing boobs if he's been doing this for almost 20 years
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Sep 29, 2020 19:29
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Codependent Poster posted:How can Mookie be so bad at drawing boobs if he's been doing this for almost 20 years You've seen him draw everything else for almost 20 years right?
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Sep 29, 2020 19:32
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The worst part of this, I think, is that things are happening, actively, and it still feels like nothing's happening? There's no consequences, there's no stakes, there's no goals. You can have a story that's just a simple character's development, their relationships, you don't need a giant massive quest, the world doesn't need to be at stake... but there has to be SOMEthing at stake. Even if it's just, can this character recover their relationship with their family? Can this character keep their job? Can this character find meaning? Can this character manage to do their daily tasks today? Anything! You can do a story out of anything, so long as the readers have some understanding of the stakes. And if there are no stakes, that requires the author to do something with that, thematically. But there are--stakes? Here? Maybe? We're over a year in and we know that Snout wants to find out what happened to Domookienik Deegan because he... he saw an unfinished sentence talking about it? We know that the Ink-Witches want... something... with information... for... reasons? What happens if Snout fails to find out what happened to Dominic? He gets... bored? Now he has a silent companion who's some kind of... golem? What are the new stakes? What are the new consequences for failure? A good story makes you ask what will happen if the characters fail. A very good story can even make you ask why the characters are doing what they are doing without falling apart. You have to have... like, a really, really loving strong story to support the weight of "I don't know what anyone's goals or motivations are, where they are going, what they hope to achieve, or what will be the result of their failure." At least in that case, you need to make the actions of the characters, if inscrutable, entertaining. He can't even do that. This is, on every S I N G L E level, an absolute failure to achieve storytelling. He isn't flaunting the traditions of it, he isn't hyperlink-->DeconstructedTrope'ing it, he's actually, somehow, managed to work on a project for over a year, and has failed to even establish a story. At all. Any story. There's nothing. I've read miserable fanfictions that meander and change based on whatever media the writer was consuming that given day, and even those grasped the basic idea that you need to present SOMEthing--consequences, goals, even BAD, FAILED humor, there's nothing happpening this entire arc. Snout stumbles into a cabin. Finds something creepy. More creepy stuff happen that he frowns at vaguely confused. A house collapses. Now he has a confused naked girl to travel with them. They are both naked and wandering now. Axe Cop, even at the very beginning, when the child half of the creative team was really, really young, had some vague sense of stakes, of goals. Mookie is working at below a 1st Grade understanding of storytelling. This is the writing equivalent of someone looking at abstract art and going "Oh, so I don't need to follow the rules?" and then just scribbling everywhere and going "this is art now!" Oh my god i'm so loving salty over this.
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Sep 29, 2020 21:02
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Time for three more weeks of No Man's Traces, only this time the lady is naked.
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Sep 29, 2020 21:07
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I'm quoting one of the earliest appearances of Snout because his hair seemed excessively... I guess bishonen this update, and it made me want to see how much Snout's changed. Anyway not to compliment Snout Prime but he's somehow actually downgraded from a vaguely unpleasant but also actually bestial looking mutant with a lion's jawline and a nose and mouth to match, a piglike wrinkling snout complete with slight jowls, matted down hair and an unsettling inhuman stare to an anime catboy, complete with delicately feathered hair and slightly shimmery eyes.
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Sep 29, 2020 21:18
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man, remember when this was about some guy being super obsessed finding out what happened to a person he never heard of before?
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Sep 29, 2020 21:26
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Marin Karin posted:man, remember when this was about some guy being super obsessed finding out what happened to a person he never heard of before? Woah now lets get one thing straight here Snout has never expressed strong feelings about ANYTHING, let alone something that could be described as obsession.
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Sep 29, 2020 21:49
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I remember when I was a kid struggling to do a creative writing assignment that ended up going "There was a great detective who had to find a toy and looked all across the world for the toy, it turns out the toy was in his pocket, the end". It's strange to know even then I was a better writer than Mookie.Marin Karin posted:man, remember when this was about some guy being super obsessed finding out what happened to a person he never heard of before?
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Sep 29, 2020 21:52
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He posted another "naughty" pic on his Twitter and it has the same suburban, middle-aged couple energy like the rest.
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Sep 29, 2020 22:33
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FlocksOfMice posted:The worst part of this, I think, is that things are happening, actively, and it still feels like nothing's happening? There's no consequences, there's no stakes, there's no goals. You can have a story that's just a simple character's development, their relationships, you don't need a giant massive quest, the world doesn't need to be at stake... but there has to be SOMEthing at stake. It's amazing how little thought was put into just the premise. Like, that's the easy part? "There's this thing people are looking for. It's a thing that is very important. A person stumbles on a clue to it and starts following that lead and it takes them to weird and exciting places." FFS he's having dream visions, give him a vision to go to Plot Town Where The Bad Guys Are or a vision that he has to save the Ink Witch and Orc dude also, goddamnit THIS IS THE EASY PART. How can you write yourself into a corner when nothing has happened yet?!
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Sep 29, 2020 23:42
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Maxwell Lord posted:It's amazing how little thought was put into just the premise. Like, that's the easy part? "There's this thing people are looking for. It's a thing that is very important. A person stumbles on a clue to it and starts following that lead and it takes them to weird and exciting places."
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Sep 29, 2020 23:46
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 A good writer would have had him discover what happened to Dominic Deegan a year ago and started dealing with the consequences of that revelation. Legacy is the worst kind of shaggy dog story, barely anything happened and it’s taken forever to happen. Finding the missing pages could have been a one page montage of misadventure and nothing of value would have been lost.
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Sep 30, 2020 07:56
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When are they getting to the fireworks factory? But really, I’m not sure if you could even call this spinning it’s wheels in the air at this point, since that implies that it’s at least trying to go somewhere with the overall story. We’re still no closer to finding out just what the gently caress the titular Legacy even is than we were at the beginning of the plot, aside from some overly-vague cryptic writings that read like the recruitment pamphlet for a cult. To mangle the hell out of a metaphor: Mookie has a plot hook, but forgot to actually put any bait on it.
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Sep 30, 2020 08:09
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Regalingualius posted:When are they getting to the fireworks factory?
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Sep 30, 2020 13:09
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It's not exactly that there's nothing happening, because there's technically a lot happening. It's just happening in the wrong order. Like, let's take the basic events of the story (so far) and re-order them into a fairly standard narrative: -There's a guy who lives in the desert. -He spends his time doing mundane stuff like reading books and sewing. -One day, he spots a UFO in the sky. -He begins receiving cryptic, distorted messages telling him to find something. -He becomes increasingly preoccupied with uncovering the secret of the UFO. -The UFO suddenly crashes into his house, destroying it. -A beautiful woman is found in the wreckage, but she's unconscious. -He finally deciphers the messages, and they point to a rare book. -He journeys to the library, where the book can be found. -On the way, he begins having dreams about the woman, and may be falling in love with her. -When he returns, the woman is awake. -She thanks him for finding this book, but implies that she is in great danger. She's being pursued by shadowy figures. -She takes the book, and mysteriously vanishes. -He's now lost and homeless, without any clue what to do next. That's a pretty good hook for a first chapter of a story, I'd say. It's very much like Close Encounters Of The Third Kind: dude becomes obsessed with UFOs and it destroys his life, but he meets a woman and uncovers a great conspiracy (or something).... Now, in the actual comic, the narrative is more like this: -A beautiful woman is unconscious. -One day, a guy receives a cryptic, distorted message. -He journeys to the library, where the book can be found. -He spots a UFO in the sky. -He becomes increasingly preoccupied with uncovering the secret of the message. -The guy lives in the desert. -When he returns, the woman is awake. -The woman is unconscious. -He receives a cryptic, distorted message. -He becomes increasingly preoccupied with uncovering the secret of the message. -The UFO suddenly crashes into his house, destroying it. -The beautiful woman is found in the wreckage. -She mysteriously vanishes. -He spends his time doing mundane stuff like reading books and sewing. -One day, the guy receives a cryptic, distorted message. -He becomes increasingly preoccupied with uncovering the secret of the message. -He journeys to the library, where the book can be found. -He receives a cryptic, distorted message. -She thanks him for finding this book, but implies that she is in great danger. She's being pursued by shadowy figures. -She mysteriously vanishes. -He's now lost and homeless, without any clue what to do next. -He journeys to the library, where the book can be found. -He spots a UFO in the sky. -The UFO suddenly crashes. -The beautiful woman is found in the wreckage. -The woman is awake. -He journeys to the library, where the book can be found. ....and that's just half of it.
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Sep 30, 2020 19:55
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Even that surreal summary is much more compelling than the actual comic! If things kept repeating in ways that felt like reality was breaking down, if the story looped in on itself in ways that imply some kind of literary structure or approach, that would be something.
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Sep 30, 2020 20:53
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Mookie is still a coward that won't draw an erect penis The mushrooms are more erect than him! Rotten Red Rod fucked around with this message at 21:09 on Sep 30, 2020 |
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Sep 30, 2020 21:02
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I didn't even realize that everything after the break has been recycled from everything that happened since Snout met Arudak. Snout meets a mysterious figure, they knock him out, steal his pages and friend(s). Snout wakes up with no direction or a clue as to what to do next so he wanders aimlessly until he finds a mysterious woman. Then the two start aimlessly wandering together.
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Sep 30, 2020 21:05
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Smash cut to the Ink Witch and Ink Witch Cop hanging out with Orc Mookie and Monk Mookie. "Wow, so that's the legacy of Dominic Deegan? You're right, the Wild Edge was loving with our minds. Thanks for rescuing us from that creepy DogMookie! It's no wonder he was exiled to a shack in the middle of nowhere, his aura of confused suburban mediocrity makes everything suck."
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Sep 30, 2020 21:22
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Joe Slowboat posted:Even that surreal summary is much more compelling than the actual comic! If things kept repeating in ways that felt like reality was breaking down, if the story looped in on itself in ways that imply some kind of literary structure or approach, that would be something. Yeah, it makes it sound like David Lynch does Rashomon.
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Sep 30, 2020 21:36
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Joe Slowboat posted:Even that surreal summary is much more compelling than the actual comic! If things kept repeating in ways that felt like reality was breaking down, if the story looped in on itself in ways that imply some kind of literary structure or approach, that would be something. Well, there is something that did happen as a result of this structure (such as it is): the gratuitous repetition of the cryptic messages and constant fake peril, combined with Snout’s lack of real interest in what’s going on, are what make TIW appear so shady and manipulative. Like she’s a Wile E. Coyote trying out all these different tactics on an oblivious guy.
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Sep 30, 2020 22:01
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It mostly feels like nothing is happening because there is no significance to anything that's happened so far. The stakes are non-existent. Is deegan's legacy important? I don't know, maybe. We don't know what it does. We don't know why the Ink Witch and Arudak think it's important. Why is Snout on this quest? He's "curious", aka no real reason. The cabin horror story just looped to the previous state of things and resolved itself neatly, unless corpsemum turns out to be important somehow. The only things that happened, as SMG said, is related to what little character development we can see in the characters that have had any description at all, like the ink witch turning out to be a manipulative rear end in a top hat. I'm also tempted to include Arudak here because the framing of his involvement in the story (shady figure that turns out to be a chill guy that just wants his stolen poo poo back) sort of qualifies as character development. And of these two, we know that the former is an accident that mookie hates to the point that he removed the character from the comic so far when it was pointed out to him.
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Sep 30, 2020 23:13
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Yup, the "plot" (insofar as Mookie had one) derailed hard when he took his He genuinely thought TIW was being cute and sexy.
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Sep 30, 2020 23:16
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YF-23 posted:It mostly feels like nothing is happening because there is no significance to anything that's happened so far. The stakes are non-existent. Is deegan's legacy important? I don't know, maybe. We don't know what it does. We don't know why the Ink Witch and Arudak think it's important. The Macguffin is evidently just a book that lets you see the future - and even that reason isn’t really necessary, because the true point of a Macguffin is simply that everyone desires it. The real issue is that Terricianno does an extremely bad job of a) establishing that there is a Macguffin (i.e. that the object is a book) and b) conveying that it is desirable/desired (i.e. that these people are all really desperate to get it). “A legacy” is way too abstract, and everyone seems to just be meandering around while the book sits in a porn store, unhidden. Likewise, there is an actual plot here. It’s just five or six extremely similar plots happening at almost the same time: -The hermit starts finding pages of a mysterious book. -The hermit begins receiving messages in his dreams. -The hermit finds messages written in the blood of a dead body. -The hermit finds a magic piece of paper that talks to him. ...and all five of those end with the eventual reveal that the witch is behind it all. Even that twist could work, if it were revealed all at once. But the reveal that the blood-messages from the UFO were the witch all along is separate from the reveal that she’s causing the dreams, and separate from the reveal that she’s the piece of paper. That’s what creates an obvious pattern of deceit.
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Oct 1, 2020 01:34
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I think it's very unclear whether the book/information lets you see the future. It lets you access Heavymetalbandname, the weird dream-magic place, or maybe explains it? But it's really unclear what any of that is for or about. Now, a narrative could still succeed if that mystery were compelling. Consider how Kill Six Billion Demons managed to make entire cohorts of nerds get super interested in what Royalty means in context, we've been guessing at that poo poo for years. But to do that, you need to sell that it's interesting and magical, and the basic-rear end wireframe cube doesn't rate.
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Oct 1, 2020 02:40
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I agree that it's partly the way things are arranged that creates this lack of momentum- a lot of individual incidents but it's just back and forth and there's no sense that we're heading towards anything. He doesn't know how to give things weight. Also I'm now wondering if the occult book being in a porn shop was a reference to Ramsey Campbell's Cold Print. The sleazy store owner should at least have been the avatar of a horrible chaos god.
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Oct 1, 2020 04:53
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Maxwell Lord posted:I agree that it's partly the way things are arranged that creates this lack of momentum- a lot of individual incidents but it's just back and forth and there's no sense that we're heading towards anything. He doesn't know how to give things weight. I have yet to see anything other than a one-panel gag that ascends to the level of an actual reference in his work, as opposed to kind of miserable rip-offs like Star Power's whole Green Lantern But Not schtick. So, I'm going to bet that it is not a reference, and just part of the weird psychosexual journey we're on with Mookie these days.
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Oct 1, 2020 06:08
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 05:35 |
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Some of the other Archmages in Deegan are I understand highly derivative of some Green Lantern characters. I’m mostly a Marvel man myself so I couldn’t tell you off hand who. And the Beast gets VERY Shuma-Gorath at times and I seem to recall some of his poses being very reminiscent of some from Shuma’s stuff in the Capcom fighting games.
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Oct 1, 2020 09:20
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