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Macnult

and according to him, "the crossroads" means literally every single intersection

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free hubcaps

u gotta offer him something real valuable first, do you have any money or drugs on u

Macnult

devil: what're your thoughts on the oboe?

me: uhh.. it's a pretty cool instrument, i guess

devil: i could make you the best oboe player in the world. everyone will love you. they'll flock to you, soak up anything you're playing. you'd go down in history

me: ...as the world's best oboe player

devil: yes

me: can't do something like the guitar? blues harmonica? what about the fiddle?

devil: do NOT bring up the fiddle. never again.

Macnult

free hubcaps posted:

u gotta offer him something real valuable first, do you have any money or drugs on u

he wants my soul but i'm definitely not going to get my spirit's worth from this bum

Macnult

devil: you're an attractive guy you know

me: thanks my mom says i'm handsome

devil: what if you were the most attractive guy.. in the world?

me: why do all of your deals involve being "[blank] in the world"

Macnult

devil: you could have all the women in the world. all of the sexy women. any woman you can think of.

me: already got myself a lady my dude

devil: how cute. a romantic. are you suuuuure?

me: look man, she'd kill me if she found out i showed you this but [pulls out phone]

devil: ...and she still has her soul?

me: uh, yeah. i'm pretty sure. yes.

devil: god dammit

Macnult

Macnult posted:

devil: you could have all the women in the world. all of the sexy women. any woman you can think of.

me: already got myself a lady my dude

devil: how cute. a romantic. are you suuuuure?

me: look man, she'd kill me if she found out i showed you this but [pulls out phone]

devil: ...and she still has her soul?

me: uh, yeah. i'm pretty sure. yes.

devil: god dammit

[later that night]

"you showed WHAT to WHOM????"

me: god dammit

nut

my whole tube of pringles for the opportunity to participate in the twisted metal tournament? ehh

Evil Bob

've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.
The devil tried to get me to sell my soul for 19th century show tunes, but I told him nuh-uh. its rock and roll or nothin for me



google THIS

Devil: I got it, the best whistler. I can make you the best whistler in the world. Take it or leave it.

Me: That's not even an instrument.

Devil: It sort of is.

Me: You're just doing this so you don't have to give me something made of gold, aren't you?

Devil: Um

google THIS

Devil: I bet you didn't know but I'm a ventriloquist too. I'll bet a dummy of gold against your soul that my rear end smells like poo. Wait, what?

Me: :smug:

Khanstant
the greatest trick i ever pulled on the devil was trading him predatory sub-prime speculative soul futures for all of these sweet misprinted holographic 1994 dellas cowboys pogs.

Khanstant
kind of random but does anyone know how long it takes to 'pass' a slammer?

more falafel please

forums poster

I can't find the devil anywhere around here all I see is eazy e

e: wait, I'm at THA crossroads




thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!






Ass-penny

The Devil: I'll make you a god on the cowbell.

The devil is literally trying to sell me a 20 year old SNL meme.


thank you so much to nesamdoom for the scurry fall sig!

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

Guttlesswonder

I'll take two adult and two kids tickets for "Alien Erection" please

Khanstant posted:

kind of random but does anyone know how long it takes to 'pass' a slammer?

What are we talking here exactly...plastic, brass, plain, saw shaped, a leveler, a pounder? I am going to need just a bit more info about passing this feat of GI strength.

Whybird

Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

https://team-robostar.itch.io/robostar


look dude i don't care about the growth rate of BitSoul right now i just want cash ok?

Escape From Noise

Contacting the better business bureau to report the Devil's deals.

Guttlesswonder

I'll take two adult and two kids tickets for "Alien Erection" please

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Contacting the better business bureau to report the Devil's deals.

BBB is a scam They will just hear your complaint and call the Devil to have him make a deal with them at a crossroads. He gives them his good poo poo to ensure he gets an A+ rating. You are just creating a vicious blackmail cycle.

Finger Prince


Me, with a cow on a leash
"Hi, are you the guy with the magic beans?"

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


Just being devil's advocate here, but I go to the crossroads to listen to the devil play music or to cheer him on when he plays poker.

Khanstant

Guttlesswonder posted:

What are we talking here exactly...plastic, brass, plain, saw shaped, a leveler, a pounder? I am going to need just a bit more info about passing this feat of GI strength.


omg legit tryna get the devil to trade me for that leveler-slammer holy hell thats one good pog

your friend sk

(ヤイケス!)


you can either wait until midnight for the devil's deals to refresh or you can spend 75 gems to refresh them now

Joey McChrist

more falafel please posted:

I can't find the devil anywhere around here all I see is eazy e

e: wait, I'm at THA crossroads

Devil: bone bone bone bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone

Me: NOW TELL ME WHATCHA GONNA DO

ChubbyChecker

Macnult posted:

devil: what're your thoughts on the oboe?

me: uhh.. it's a pretty cool instrument, i guess

devil: i could make you the best oboe player in the world. everyone will love you. they'll flock to you, soak up anything you're playing. you'd go down in history

me: ...as the world's best oboe player

devil: yes

me: can't do something like the guitar? blues harmonica? what about the fiddle?

devil: do NOT bring up the fiddle. never again.









ChubbyChecker

google THIS posted:

Devil: I bet you didn't know but I'm a ventriloquist too. I'll bet a dummy of gold against your soul that my rear end smells like poo. Wait, what?

Me: :smug:

Prof. Crocodile

robert johnson and charlie daniels kinda blew up the devil's spot and now everyone knows that souls are real and no one will trade their souls anymore, and it probably makes it real hard for the devil to get his work done

Prof. Crocodile

devil: i can make you the best poster in all of the internet, for a small fee to be named later(heh heh)

me: you are trying to trick me out of my soul aren't you?

devil: n-no... i mean... unless that's the sort of thing you would be open to?

google THIS

Devil: Apersonwhosellsmetheirsoulsayswhat

Me: I just feel sorry for you at this point

Jaguars!


Devil: How about this. I've got this website, right, it's kind of old fashioned but it still has an intensely loyal userbase. The previous owner somehow trained them to regularly pay money to update basic features like avatars and smilies

Me: I'm going home

Pissed Ape Sexist

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making the crossroads across from Dealin' Doug's Autoplex and getting a kickback on every 2013 Ford Focus he got a satanist to buy as a stipulation of becoming the metro area's best jungle DJ

ChubbyChecker

google THIS posted:

Devil: Apersonwhosellsmetheirsoulsayswhat

Me: I just feel sorry for you at this point









owlhawk911

come chill with me, in byob

the devil posted in byob, he was looking for a soul to steal
he offered whistlin and ventriloquism but he didn't offer any good deals
well he came across a poster, posting "my dudes" in the wednesday thread
and he tapped away at his keyboard, a clatterin sound to wake the dead

"i bet you didn't know it, but i'm a poster too"
"i post the most from coast to coast, and i can post better than you"
"now you post a pretty good thread, boy, and i'm glad you're having fun"
"how bout postin with the devil, and we'll see who's number one?"

well that poster said "no way man, that's totally unchill"
"i'm posting just for love of the game, i do it for the thrill"
"the wednesday frog, my posting pals, that chill-rear end hammock cat"
he said "if you like to post man, why don't you just do that?"

well the devil fumed and the devil spat, and he called that poster a nerd
but the poster smiled and tipped his hat, and typed out "haha, word?"
the devil kept on posting but he was starting to feel ill
everyone knows how this story goes, the devil had zero chill. OH

postin on the forums, having fuuuuuun
goin outside to chill in the suuuuuun
:justpost: whatever comes to your heeeeead
comedy sixer when you go to beeeeed

well the devil learnt his lesson, or so i like to think
he decided fire and brimstone made quite an awful stink
he threw down his pitchfork, he let some imps take charge
and now he posts in lavender and teal where the posters quest for marge

owlhawk911 fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Oct 1, 2020


https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant

more falafel please

forums poster

owlhawk911 posted:

the devil posted in byob, he was looking for a soul to steal
he offered whistlin and ventriloquism but he didn't offer any good deals
well he came across a poster, posting "my dudes" in the wednesday thread
and he tapped away at his keyboard, a clatterin sound to wake the dead

"i bet you didn't know it, but i'm a poster too"
"i post the most from coast to coast, and i can post better than you"
"now you post a pretty good thread, boy, and i'm glad you're having fun"
"how bout postin with the devil, and we'll see who's number one?"

well that poster said "no way man, that's totally unchill"
"i'm posting just for love of the game, i do it for the thrill"
"the wednesday frog, my posting pals, that chill-rear end hammock cat"
he said "if you like to post man, why don't you just do that?"

well the devil fumed and the devil spat, and he called that poster a nerd
but the poster smiled and tipped his hat, and typed out "haha, word?"
the devil kept on posting but he was starting to feel ill
everyone knows how this story goes, the devil had zero chill. OH

postin on the forums, having fuuuuuun
goin outside to chill in the suuuuuun
:justpost: whatever comes to your heeeeead
comedy sixer when you go to beeeeed

well the devil learnt his lesson, or so i like to think
he decided fire and brimstone made quite an awful stink
he threw down his pitchfork, he let some imps take charge
and now he posts in lavender and teal where the posters quest for marge




thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!






ChubbyChecker

owlhawk911 posted:

the devil posted in byob, he was looking for a soul to steal
he offered whistlin and ventriloquism but he didn't offer any good deals
well he came across a poster, posting "my dudes" in the wednesday thread
and he tapped away at his keyboard, a clatterin sound to wake the dead

"i bet you didn't know it, but i'm a poster too"
"i post the most from coast to coast, and i can post better than you"
"now you post a pretty good thread, boy, and i'm glad you're having fun"
"how bout postin with the devil, and we'll see who's number one?"

well that poster said "no way man, that's totally unchill"
"i'm posting just for love of the game, i do it for the thrill"
"the wednesday frog, my posting pals, that chill-rear end hammock cat"
he said "if you like to post man, why don't you just do that?"

well the devil fumed and the devil spat, and he called that poster a nerd
but the poster smiled and tipped his hat, and typed out "haha, word?"
the devil kept on posting but he was starting to feel ill
everyone knows how this story goes, the devil had zero chill. OH

postin on the forums, having fuuuuuun
goin outside to chill in the suuuuuun
:justpost: whatever comes to your heeeeead
comedy sixer when you go to beeeeed

well the devil learnt his lesson, or so i like to think
he decided fire and brimstone made quite an awful stink
he threw down his pitchfork, he let some imps take charge
and now he posts in lavender and teal where the posters quest for marge









Joey McChrist

owlhawk911 posted:

the devil posted in byob, he was looking for a soul to steal
he offered whistlin and ventriloquism but he didn't offer any good deals
well he came across a poster, posting "my dudes" in the wednesday thread
and he tapped away at his keyboard, a clatterin sound to wake the dead

"i bet you didn't know it, but i'm a poster too"
"i post the most from coast to coast, and i can post better than you"
"now you post a pretty good thread, boy, and i'm glad you're having fun"
"how bout postin with the devil, and we'll see who's number one?"

well that poster said "no way man, that's totally unchill"
"i'm posting just for love of the game, i do it for the thrill"
"the wednesday frog, my posting pals, that chill-rear end hammock cat"
he said "if you like to post man, why don't you just do that?"

well the devil fumed and the devil spat, and he called that poster a nerd
but the poster smiled and tipped his hat, and typed out "haha, word?"
the devil kept on posting but he was starting to feel ill
everyone knows how this story goes, the devil had zero chill. OH

postin on the forums, having fuuuuuun
goin outside to chill in the suuuuuun
:justpost: whatever comes to your heeeeead
comedy sixer when you go to beeeeed

well the devil learnt his lesson, or so i like to think
he decided fire and brimstone made quite an awful stink
he threw down his pitchfork, he let some imps take charge
and now he posts in lavender and teal where the posters quest for marge

Macnult

owlhawk911 posted:

the devil posted in byob, he was looking for a soul to steal
he offered whistlin and ventriloquism but he didn't offer any good deals
well he came across a poster, posting "my dudes" in the wednesday thread
and he tapped away at his keyboard, a clatterin sound to wake the dead

"i bet you didn't know it, but i'm a poster too"
"i post the most from coast to coast, and i can post better than you"
"now you post a pretty good thread, boy, and i'm glad you're having fun"
"how bout postin with the devil, and we'll see who's number one?"

well that poster said "no way man, that's totally unchill"
"i'm posting just for love of the game, i do it for the thrill"
"the wednesday frog, my posting pals, that chill-rear end hammock cat"
he said "if you like to post man, why don't you just do that?"

well the devil fumed and the devil spat, and he called that poster a nerd
but the poster smiled and tipped his hat, and typed out "haha, word?"
the devil kept on posting but he was starting to feel ill
everyone knows how this story goes, the devil had zero chill. OH

postin on the forums, having fuuuuuun
goin outside to chill in the suuuuuun
:justpost: whatever comes to your heeeeead
comedy sixer when you go to beeeeed

well the devil learnt his lesson, or so i like to think
he decided fire and brimstone made quite an awful stink
he threw down his pitchfork, he let some imps take charge
and now he posts in lavender and teal where the posters quest for marge

google THIS

owlhawk911 posted:

the devil posted in byob, he was looking for a soul to steal
he offered whistlin and ventriloquism but he didn't offer any good deals
well he came across a poster, posting "my dudes" in the wednesday thread
and he tapped away at his keyboard, a clatterin sound to wake the dead

"i bet you didn't know it, but i'm a poster too"
"i post the most from coast to coast, and i can post better than you"
"now you post a pretty good thread, boy, and i'm glad you're having fun"
"how bout postin with the devil, and we'll see who's number one?"

well that poster said "no way man, that's totally unchill"
"i'm posting just for love of the game, i do it for the thrill"
"the wednesday frog, my posting pals, that chill-rear end hammock cat"
he said "if you like to post man, why don't you just do that?"

well the devil fumed and the devil spat, and he called that poster a nerd
but the poster smiled and tipped his hat, and typed out "haha, word?"
the devil kept on posting but he was starting to feel ill
everyone knows how this story goes, the devil had zero chill. OH

postin on the forums, having fuuuuuun
goin outside to chill in the suuuuuun
:justpost: whatever comes to your heeeeead
comedy sixer when you go to beeeeed

well the devil learnt his lesson, or so i like to think
he decided fire and brimstone made quite an awful stink
he threw down his pitchfork, he let some imps take charge
and now he posts in lavender and teal where the posters quest for marge

alnilam

owlhawk911 posted:

the devil posted in byob, he was looking for a soul to steal
he offered whistlin and ventriloquism but he didn't offer any good deals
well he came across a poster, posting "my dudes" in the wednesday thread
and he tapped away at his keyboard, a clatterin sound to wake the dead

"i bet you didn't know it, but i'm a poster too"
"i post the most from coast to coast, and i can post better than you"
"now you post a pretty good thread, boy, and i'm glad you're having fun"
"how bout postin with the devil, and we'll see who's number one?"

well that poster said "no way man, that's totally unchill"
"i'm posting just for love of the game, i do it for the thrill"
"the wednesday frog, my posting pals, that chill-rear end hammock cat"
he said "if you like to post man, why don't you just do that?"

well the devil fumed and the devil spat, and he called that poster a nerd
but the poster smiled and tipped his hat, and typed out "haha, word?"
the devil kept on posting but he was starting to feel ill
everyone knows how this story goes, the devil had zero chill. OH

postin on the forums, having fuuuuuun
goin outside to chill in the suuuuuun
:justpost: whatever comes to your heeeeead
comedy sixer when you go to beeeeed

well the devil learnt his lesson, or so i like to think
he decided fire and brimstone made quite an awful stink
he threw down his pitchfork, he let some imps take charge
and now he posts in lavender and teal where the posters quest for marge



ty manifisto

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Nosfereefer

IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Macnult posted:

devil: do NOT bring up the fiddle. never again.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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