|
And you might say well maybe dumbledore couldn't help him cheat but Cedric helps harry cheat and nothing happens! Cheating is part of the tournament!
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:28
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 23:48 |
|
|
Why did enchanting a cup to make Harry fight in the baby wizard death Olympics be the evil dude's first plan Seems like a really overcomplicated series of steps to kidnap a small child for a graveyard Nazi dismemberment party
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:29
|
|
|
Anyway a hogwarts student dies in the tournament that year and by some miracle it isn't harry. Also the defense against the dark arts teacher has been consorting with the evil racist wizards again and Dumbledore's real hiree was stuffed in a loving trunk. So great spot there dumbledore.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:29
|
|
|
Miss posted:Why did enchanting a cup to make Harry fight in the baby wizard death Olympics be the evil dude's first plan A week ago maybe more I said never forget voldemort is really dumb, some time maybe I hit onto his perspective in all of this and we can go over how colossally monumentally stupid he is at basically all times.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:31
|
|
|
If only they had a magical way For determining people were who they said they were, perhaps some magic that's easy enough for a bunch of dropkick students to enchant a map with
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:31
|
|
|
takes a real moron to lose a fight to a baby, then a child, then a child, then a child, then a young adult
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:31
|
|
|
Miss posted:Why did enchanting a cup to make Harry fight in the baby wizard death Olympics be the evil dude's first plan "My Lord I have the perfect plan: I will impersonate a professor at Hogwarts, gain Harry's trust, and invite him to my office after class where I will administer a sleeping potion! Then I will put him in my magical trunk that can fit an entire grown rear end adult in it, tell Dumbledore I'm going into Hogsmede for a drink, and as soon as I can aparate I will come right to your side!" "Too easy. Now listen, I have a plan where you can use the Tri Wizard Tournament-"
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:32
|
|
|
reignofevil posted:A week ago maybe more I said never forget voldemort is really dumb, some time maybe I hit onto his perspective in all of this and we can go over how colossally monumentally stupid he is at basically all times. The only person in the entire wizarding world dumber than Voldemort was Dumbledor.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:33
|
|
|
And I'll tell you what the gently caress dumbledore was doing. Hitting on the bar lady at hogsmead. These books take place over YEARS! He had YEARS to get his poo poo together! He could have put getting his poo poo together off till spring of year four and he'd still be way ahead of where he actually starts being even slightly proactive! He did this to himself and people died!
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:33
|
|
|
Sydin posted:"My Lord I have the perfect plan: I will impersonate a professor at Hogwarts, gain Harry's trust, and invite him to my office after class where I will administer a sleeping potion! Then I will put him in my magical trunk that can fit an entire grown rear end adult in it, tell Dumbledore I'm going into Hogsmede for a drink, and as soon as I can aparate I will come right to your side!" "Messing with the enchantment on the cup is nigh impossible" "Yes that's why it's such a brilliant plan"
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:35
|
|
|
Sydin posted:"My Lord I have the perfect plan: I will impersonate a professor at Hogwarts, gain Harry's trust, and invite him to my office after class where I will administer a sleeping potion! Then I will put him in my magical trunk that can fit an entire grown rear end adult in it, tell Dumbledore I'm going into Hogsmede for a drink, and as soon as I can aparate I will come right to your side!" "Well who do you think is gonna grab the bloody trophy? The up and coming young blood from hogwarts of course! It's the only possible option!"
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:35
|
|
|
Somehow my beer became empty
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:36
|
|
|
The entire wizarding world shrugs when it turns out the baby who killed wizard Hitler was shoved into a closet and abused for a decade as his reward The entire wizarding world runs off abusing children and "lesser species" (house elves etc)
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:36
|
|
|
Sydin posted:Also the guy who enchanted the Cup to trick it into letting him put Harry's name in and then spit it out was presumably not as strong a wizard as Dumbledore, which tells me Dumbledore could have also done some loving magic to trick the cup into disqualifying Harry immediately, which would not only keep Harry way safer but also the other schoolmasters would have had no problem with him doing so considering they were hemming and hawing about Hogwarts getting two champions. He just chose not to. It is already established that Wizards completely do not give a poo poo about the logistics of anything. I buy it. "Cup says Harry has to do it." "Harry says didn't put his own name in the cup." "The cup's only supposed to select three names!" "Well... who are we to judge the Cup."
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:40
|
|
|
So one thing worth noting is Dumbledore is helping Sirius at this time keep away from the law. This is arguably something he did that isn't making him more of an rear end in a top hat for doing it.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:43
|
|
|
Dumbledore reforms the order of the phoenix because he failed to keep his students safe, he failed to keep voldemort from kidnapping harry potter and using his blood to change himself out of being a snake baby. He failed to keep his staff from being infiltrated by crazy death eater children of government officials.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:44
|
|
|
At this point harry starts having weird dreams and Dumbledore is 100% sure harry is an evil soul container for 1/9th of Voldemort's soul. (eight horcruxes plus his "chest hole" as I call it where his soul was initially fully housed) fun fact everybody has a chest hole and you can feel your inadequacies eating away at your self worth in there at this very moment!
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:46
|
|
|
The plan for this notoriously independent teenager is to make him feel as abandoned and isolated as possible so Dumbledore instructs Harry's close friends to be as vague as possible with him and also does everything possible not to directly look harry in the eye. This plan is to keep harry from doing anything stupid.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:48
|
|
|
You see, Dumbledore is worried if he buddies up with harry, Voldemort will start peering through harry's eyes using their soul connection and uhh frankly I don't really know what Dumbledore would really be worried out in principle from there but it's a fair worry I suppose.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:49
|
|
|
Ultimately isolating Harry means that he does something rash and stupid and Sirius dies. Dumbledore kinda shrugs and sends harry back to his aunt.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:51
|
|
|
Harry yells at dumbledore a bunch at this stage and I agree. Harry almost got ate by giant spiders! Look you could put me in a room with a regular sized spider and I'd never ever forget you did it and probably I'd never forgive you. Harry almost got ate! Those things live within walking distance of the school!
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:53
|
|
|
During the ministry fight voldemort takes over harry's body and it's no big deal at all, proving Dumbledore's whole worry was overblown.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:54
|
|
|
If only Harry had some kind of magical ability to form an alliance with some variety of creature that was an enemy of spiders.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:56
|
|
|
Dumbledore's plan for the possible soul link is for snape to teach harry to block out mind reading. What a great idea. Dumbledore aggressively never asks the basic question if snape can actually ever be trusted to put his grudge aside and actually act like a professional in a work environment.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:56
|
|
|
SlothfulCobra posted:If only Harry had some kind of magical ability to form an alliance with some variety of creature that was an enemy of spiders. Parseltounge harry taming the basilisk and riding it into battle against the acromantula's in the forest is another of those cool fanfic ideas
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:57
|
|
|
By this point dumbledore is collecting memories. He's driven by guilt and puts on a horcrux so he can apologize to the ghost of his sister and it fucks his arm up real bad. He's dying now. Now his plan involves him dying, as all the best plans do.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:58
|
|
|
He can't just die though. He has to die an rear end in a top hat. Snape has to kill him to "save" Draco from doing it. Now later on we find out this is because of obscure wand bullshit.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:59
|
|
|
Also at least in the books Dumbledore just straight up spanks Voldy, sends him running home with his tail between his legs with minimal effort. Kinda negates the whole "I couldn't just duel him because he is actually a stronger wizard then me!" excuse.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 05:59
|
|
|
Dumbledore, dead, begins instructing snape as a magical painting. His new plan involves Harry freezing to death in an icy pond flailing around for a sword.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:00
|
|
|
Somehow dumbledore has determined harry needs to die so that the horcrux voldemort soul will be gone and that's a necessary step to this plan so he does what all sound minded people do, and this is before he dies, he write in his will that Harry should get a golden snitch with a magic ghost ring inside of it that will only open when harry says he is ready to die which he'll figure out to say after investigating a series of clues left for him via ancient wizard folk tales he will naturally be completely ignorant of. Also he leaves ron a lighter which can magically teleport you back to the lady you wanna bang and her side piece out in the woods. Finally hermione gets the childrens book with the hints for everyone because she actually reads.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:03
|
|
|
Still wanna know how good wizards even got snookered by nazis when they have time travel Surely it would be just like the end of bill and Ted "After we beat you we went back in time and set up a cage" "Oh yeah well after I beat you I set up a key for the cage" "Well we went back and set up a second cage"
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:05
|
|
|
The magic lighter works because of course Dumbledore knew that harry would get the magic locket by breaking into the ministry and stealing it from umbrage but then they wouldn't have a means to destroy it so they'd take turns wearing it and the sheer evil of being that close to the soul of a murderer would overwhelm them and they'd have a fight and ron would be the one to storm off and one day he'd be flicking his lighter and then it'd magically teleport him back to the group so they could reunite and work together again.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:06
|
|
|
AND HE DIDN'T WRITE ANY OF THIS DOWN. NOT. A. GOD. DAMNED. INSTRUCTION.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:06
|
|
|
Ultimately everything works out exactly how dumbledore expected it would when he died months maybe a year earlier. Sure. people got maimed. And sure. He got tons of people killed even before the big fight at the end after he was dead. And sure. He clearly had some idea of how this would all go down because of the ron lighter thing but you know what? At the end of the day, he got results. And he got to be at the magical train station at the end.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:10
|
|
|
but in my final assessment? He got lucky. Real real drat lucky. There were a million and one ways this coulda gone wrong and dumbledore's careless attitude almost cost him his main objective, ridding the world of the evil immortal wizard voldemort using a magic prophecy baby.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:12
|
|
|
Also his brother punched him one time because dumbledore's a prick.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:13
|
|
|
Come to think about it, I don't know if the books ever really give a reason why Dumbledore is so renowned aside from being the headmaster who was taking some kind of interest in Harry and not being negative like every other adult in Harry's life up to that point. Maybe he's only so revered because he's a couple hundred years old and was everybody's principle, so everybody has a deeply embedded respect and fear of him from childhood.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:18
|
|
|
dumbledore is renowned purely by being the least terrible wizard that's how bad all the others are
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 06:35
|
|
|
SlothfulCobra posted:Come to think about it, I don't know if the books ever really give a reason why Dumbledore is so renowned aside from being the headmaster who was taking some kind of interest in Harry and not being negative like every other adult in Harry's life up to that point. He was the most brilliant non-evil student Hogwarts ever saw, he defeated Wizard Hitler and the first book has this: quote:Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 07:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 23:48 |
|
|
SlothfulCobra posted:Come to think about it, I don't know if the books ever really give a reason why Dumbledore is so renowned aside from being the headmaster who was taking some kind of interest in Harry and not being negative like every other adult in Harry's life up to that point. If I remember his trading card from the first book correctly, it was for: 1) doing alchemy poo poo with Nicholas Flamel 2) figuring out 12 things to do with dragon's blood that don't involve keeping it inside the dragon so the dragon won't die 3) beating up his ex-boyfriend in a magic duel
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2020 07:14
|
|
