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CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Boy, it's early October! I can't wait for the regular season to kick off! Wait. What do you mean there's no hockey this week? We have to wait until New Year's? Maybe?

Tampa won the COVID Cup, the NHL somehow went the entire thing without a positive case but Connor McJesus caught it once he got out. Patric Hornqvist is now a Fancy Cat, Hank is no longer on Broadway, Max Domi is now a Jacket, Josh Anderson is now with Le Habs. Free Agency is 25 hours away. Bring forth the TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADES.

Losers 'R Us Thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3936100
Draft Thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3936185

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rex rabidorum vires
Mar 26, 2007

KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN
I wrote a bunch of dumb poo poo about UFAs

UFA Extravaganza!!!!!!
Top Available Forwards
1. Taylor Hall – 1 for 1. MVP. Best get of UFA this year by miles.
2. Mike Hoffman – 359pts in 493 games. 55+ 5 times. Might be a locker room issue. Drives shooting at 5v5, but negative expected values. Turns 31 in a month. I think someone gives him too much money and term then he's bought out in 3 years.
3. Evgenii Dadonov – 202pts in 280 games. Massively drives play and has pretty good expecteds. Will make less than Hoffman despite being the better player.
4. Tyler Toffoli – Drives play like crazy. Excellent expected values. Only 1 50+ point season ever and otherwise 35-45. Could be some really good value here or have an ugly contract fast.
5. Mikael Granlund – 352 in 540 games. Had a 69 point season followed by 67. 55 in the year after followed by 30 this season past. Drives play to a reasonable degree and has very positive expected values. Potentially a very useful Top 6 player with a lot depending on if you expect him to bounce back towards 50pts and not stay at 30.

Other dudes with varying value -

Anthony Duclair – Hit 40pts for the 2nd time in his career. Upped his shooting output to nearly 3 shots per game. Slightly down on corsi rel last season and slightly negative expecteds. 5 teams in 6 years. Is there really a gem of a player here or will the various forces lead to washing out.
Dominik Kahun – 37 in his first season with Chicago and was on pace to surpass that this year. A nice middle 6 pick up for most teams.
Andreas Athanasiou – 156 points in 303 games. Is there actually a useful player that adds positive impact to you team here? No idea! Probably not though.
Jesper Fast 30 point player. Doesn't really drive play and iffy expected. Maybe a depth guy somewhere. Honestly thought he was more Bryan Rust but he's closer to Athanasiou with less questions about the defensive side.
Bobby Ryan/Turris – Could they contribute in reduced rolls on 'bargain' contracts? Someone will try.

Defensemans

1. Torey Krug – 337 in 523. Drives play. Dude is going to get paid by someone.
2. Alex Pietraangelo – 450 points in 758 games. 24:30 minutes a night. Drives play and decent expected values. Turns 31 in January. Will also get paid, but how iffy the contract becomes is hard to say.
3. Tyson Barrie – 346 in 554. Not the most successful time in Toronto. Spreadsheet says he's pretty good. A lot of production from the powerplay however. Who knows with him. I think he improves the vast majority of teams unless you're paying $8 mil in which case lol.

Decent Depth Guys

Sami Vaatanen – 20+ points. 21 minutes a night. Kind of all situations guy that could slot into a 2nd pairing pretty well for a lot of teams. Like any UFA depends on $$$ and term
Kevin Shattenkirk – Great value for Tampa. Still a solid depth contributor and if a team can give him soft minutes he'll still produce.
Erik Gustafsson – I dunno put up 60 last year. Only 30 this year. If he's cheap could work for someone.
TJ Brodie/Schultz – Vet guys that can put up some points. Both drive play (JMFJ excluded for Schultz's time) and have good expected outcomes. With the flat cap really hard to say what they cost.

The Dump

Jack Johnson
Cody Ceci
Zac Rinaldo

Edit: Goalies can suck it. Now begin the speculation on what dumb bad players your team will give too much money and term to!

rex rabidorum vires fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Oct 8, 2020

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.
Bring Handsome Hank to the Caps baby

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

https://twitter.com/Aportzline/status/1314223198720978944

e: https://twitter.com/CapFriendly/status/1314226606169296896

Jackets save a lot with this buyout.

Kilza fucked around with this message at 16:33 on Oct 8, 2020

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

https://twitter.com/PierreVLeBrun/status/1314229927298977800

fawning deference
Jul 4, 2018

I figured that would happen. Thank you for those first couple years Cory.

fawning deference
Jul 4, 2018

2m for the next 6 seasons

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe
Kinda sad how hard the wheels fell off with Schneider. It was painful watching him keep trying to get back in the net and just struggling mightily.

Drunk Canuck
Jan 9, 2010

Robots ruin all the fun of a good adventure.

Schneider is sadly probably going to sign a two-way here, or should smartly go overseas.

Misanthrope
Jun 10, 2001

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK
I know I give you grief for cheering for a terrible franchise, but I really appreciate the constant Twitter updates on pretty much everything NHL related Kilza.

SAS threads are essentially my noteworthy NHL news feed.

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

https://twitter.com/SWhyno/status/1314235999132749824

That's a lot of injuries

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010


Come to the penguins, Wennberg

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

https://twitter.com/PierreVLeBrun/status/1314237722765258753

Not really surprising, seemed inevitable after the run they made.

Mr. Kite
Aug 28, 2004

SHUT UP AND PLAY HOCKEY
So can a team be fielded yet with all of the buy-outs?

The Dirty Burger
Aug 24, 2007

1st team all star
+
2nd degree manslaughter
=
3rd world clothing line

Mr. Kite posted:

So can a team be fielded yet with all of the buy-outs?

Ottawa needs like 9 forwards to sign still, gonna give em all 1-year deals and acquire a bunch of 3rd and 4ths at the deadline

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007



good lord :stare:

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.
What happened to Wennberg? Last I remember, he was a promising young talent.

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


Twin Cinema posted:

What happened to Wennberg? Last I remember, he was a promising young talent.

Wildly inconsistent. Had a great couple years from 2016-18, but could just never find a rhythm. A lot of his points seemed to be secondary assists on Bread goals.

E: He'd probably do alright as a depth center somewhere else.

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Twin Cinema posted:

What happened to Wennberg? Last I remember, he was a promising young talent.

Porty said a couple months ago he thinks there was some career-altering injury sustained when he got hot brained by Tom Wilson in the playoffs a couple years ago, but nobody would confirm it.

e- As for his prospects:
https://twitter.com/Aportzline/status/1314229728539271176

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Oct 8, 2020

i am the bird
Mar 2, 2005

I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS
I wouldn't mind Detroit offering Wennberg a short-term reclamation deal. 2C might be out of his range but he'd be an interesting guy to feed pucks to Zadina in his first full pro year considering the other options are Nielsen and Filppula. Low-risk, high-reward situation.

rex rabidorum vires
Mar 26, 2007

KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN
There are so many reclamation projects to go wrong this offseason I'm really excited to see which ones are with the Penguins!

Twin Cinema posted:

What happened to Wennberg? Last I remember, he was a promising young talent.

In '16-17 Nick Foligno, Sam Gagner, and Atkinson with Wennberg combined for an obscene amount of powerplay goals. At 5v5 Wennberg also played a ton with Saad. '17-18 Wennberg seems like he played with pretty much everyone up and down the lineup. '18-19 he played mostly with Duclair and Bjorkstrand, but his ice time cratered and last season was Wennbergs worst in terms of per 60 points at 5v5, however he played with nearly every forward in CBJ where it is really really hard to get a read on how much he's pulling people down vs people pulling him down. Just turn 26 though so in regards to reclamation projects he might be worth a solid punt. His 60pt season was insanely unsustainable powerplay points is the tl;dr on that though. His best 5v5 season had him putting up 1.66 pt/60 vs this season past where he only put up 1.

Edit: 3C somewhere for like 2 million would probably be great for a lot of teams.

Drunk Canuck
Jan 9, 2010

Robots ruin all the fun of a good adventure.

https://twitter.com/ByScottPowers/status/1314249651516780545

Corey Crawford, who is a bad goalie, no longer has a net to mind.

The Dirty Burger
Aug 24, 2007

1st team all star
+
2nd degree manslaughter
=
3rd world clothing line
Props to Stevie Y for getting rid of AA at the perfect time, trading two 2nd rounders for a player never seems to work out well for teams.

AA, Dzingel last year, and I’ll always remember Pittsburgh getting Douglas Murray

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!
Gingerbricks :sigh:

Ummagumma
Jul 19, 2004
skydog

Drunk Canuck posted:

https://twitter.com/ByScottPowers/status/1314249651516780545

Corey Crawford, who is a bad goalie, no longer has a net to mind.

He's actually been pretty dang good and was the only person keeping the Hawks in games in recent years. I'm going to miss him terribly :smith:

Apparently the Hawks plan is to proceed with two netminders who have pretty much only been in the AHL, behind a defense which gives up the most (or among the most) high danger chances in the league. The Hawks are gonna get lit up every game now.

I'm all for going full rebuild, but I don't know if they'll be able to do that unless Kane, Toews, and Seabrook feel like waiving their NMCs. Maybe they'll consider it now that the team has no proven goaltending.

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!

Ummagumma posted:

Apparently the Hawks plan is to proceed with two netminders who have pretty much only been in the AHL, behind a defense which gives up the most (or among the most) high danger chances in the league. The Hawks are gonna get lit up every game now.

Don't worry, we'll have another stupid play-in round next season and the Hawks will beat the Oilers again.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k

The Dallas Stars were the fabled one legged man in an rear end kicking contest



And by god they did pretty drat well for themselves

TITTIEKISSER69
Mar 19, 2005

SAVE THE BEES
PLANT MORE TREES
CLEAN THE SEAS
KISS TITTIESS




Ummagumma posted:

He's actually been pretty dang good and was the only person keeping the Hawks in games in recent years. I'm going to miss him terribly :smith:

Apparently the Hawks plan is to proceed with two netminders who have pretty much only been in the AHL, behind a defense which gives up the most (or among the most) high danger chances in the league. The Hawks are gonna get lit up every game now.

I'm all for going full rebuild, but I don't know if they'll be able to do that unless Kane, Toews, and Seabrook feel like waiving their NMCs. Maybe they'll consider it now that the team has no proven goaltending.

"What do you mean Lehner's already been signed?!"

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!
Thoughts on UFA Goaltenders:

Braden Holtby: Young enough and talented enough to be a good starter for some time. Needs to work with a good coach to get his form back. Someone will drastically overpay him in both money and term (looking at you, Edmonton)
Jakob Markstrom: Young enough and talented enough to be a good starter for some time. Needs to work with a good coach to keep him on track.
Cam Talbot: Good enough to be a starter for a few more years, but inconsistent.

Anton Khudobin: Been very good over the last few seasons and great in the playoffs, but has never been a full-time starter. Possible 1a/1b
Thomas Greiss: Been a consistently good goalie over his career, with the exception of 2017-2018. Never been a full-time starter. Possible 1a/1b
Corey Crawford: Been a reliable starter his entire career, but getting older and health issues are a problem. Possible good option for a backup that plays more games than most.

Henrik Lundqvist: A good backup on a team that won't play him too much, probably a good mentor to a younger goalie. This looks like what his role will be in Washington if he signs there.
Jimmy Howard: May have something left as a backup.
Mike Smith: May have something left as a backup.
Aaron Dell: Potential as an okay backup.

Ryan Miller: Had an okay season on an awful team, but probably done given his age.
Craig Anderson: Well and truly cooked.
Corey Schneider: His hip fell off. Cooked barring some sort of stem cell related miracle.

Darude - Adam Sandstorm
Aug 16, 2012

I don't think the Oilers are going to overspend on a goaler. Koskinen was fine as a 1A/1B type last season and so I think they'll be in that second tier market for Khobodin/Crawford/Greiss etc


Mike Smith has nothing left and sucks out loud outside of speaking to the media.

The Dirty Burger
Aug 24, 2007

1st team all star
+
2nd degree manslaughter
=
3rd world clothing line

grack posted:

Thoughts on UFA Goaltenders:

Braden Holtby: Young enough and talented enough to be a good starter for some time. Needs to work with a good coach to get his form back. Someone will drastically overpay him in both money and term (looking at you, Edmonton)
Jakob Markstrom: Young enough and talented enough to be a good starter for some time. Needs to work with a good coach to keep him on track.
Cam Talbot: Good enough to be a starter for a few more years, but inconsistent.

Anton Khudobin: Been very good over the last few seasons and great in the playoffs, but has never been a full-time starter. Possible 1a/1b
Thomas Greiss: Been a consistently good goalie over his career, with the exception of 2017-2018. Never been a full-time starter. Possible 1a/1b
Corey Crawford: Been a reliable starter his entire career, but getting older and health issues are a problem. Possible good option for a backup that plays more games than most.

Henrik Lundqvist: A good backup on a team that won't play him too much, probably a good mentor to a younger goalie. This looks like what his role will be in Washington if he signs there.
Jimmy Howard: May have something left as a backup.
Mike Smith: May have something left as a backup.
Aaron Dell: Potential as an okay backup.

Ryan Miller: Had an okay season on an awful team, but probably done given his age.
Craig Anderson: Well and truly cooked.
Corey Schneider: His hip fell off. Cooked barring some sort of stem cell related miracle.

Are there even this many teams looking for goaltending? This is a wild list

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!

The Dirty Burger posted:

Are there even this many teams looking for goaltending? This is a wild list

That's what I'm currently sifting through right now. Short answer is I don't think so, but it's complicated.

Darude - Adam Sandstorm
Aug 16, 2012

I think you can make the case for 15 teams wanting to sign someone more than a whatever guy.

ImplicitAssembler
Jan 24, 2013

I think Canucks will struggle without Markstrom...Demko is talented, but I'm not convinced that he can perform with the same level of consistency.

rex rabidorum vires
Mar 26, 2007

KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN

grack posted:

Jimmy Howard: May have something left as a backup.
Mike Smith: May have something left as a backup.
Aaron Dell: Potential as an okay backup.

I'm surprised to learn this season past is really the first time Jimmy 'elite' Howard has been horrific. .906/.908 his previous worst seasons. Mike Smith outside of his time in Arizona has never been particularly good/great other than his first Calgary season and way back in Tampa and see him as massively risky considering how many mishandled puck woops it's a goal against he has had. I think Dell could be a nice backup especially not playing behind EK.

fisting by many
Dec 25, 2009



Players going to UFA doesn't necessarily mean they're walking. This year is special with so many teams having cap trouble, teams are wisely holding on to what little space they have in case a bargain becomes available.

except Jimbo who decided qualifying Virtanen for a literally unknown amount of money right now was necessary

Spring Break My Heart
Feb 15, 2012
Teams were using their backup more than in previous years, particularly in the playoffs. So good to have someone there although I don't know if you're going to spend some real money there.

Smith is really old now too

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!
Teams actually looking for goaltending (as far as I can tell):

Definitely need:
Minnesota - Quality starter. Guerin straight up said that he wants a new starter after trading away Dubnyk and throwing Stalock under the bus.
Vancouver - Quality backup or 1a/1b if Demko isn't ready to be a full time starter.
Calgary - Quality starter or 1a/1b because Rittich is mediocre at best. Honestly they should just re-sign Talbot.
Edmonton - 1a/1b since Koskinen is better with limited minutes.
Dallas - At least a quality backup for when Bishop has his yearly trip to the IR.
Carolina - Quality starter or 1a/1b because Mrazek is mediocre and Reimer probably isn't a full-time starter any more.
New Jersey - Quality backup, maybe a 1a/1b given that Blackwood's never played more than 43 games in a season.
Washington - A backup/mentor for Samsonov, but it looks like they're signing Lundqvist for that role.

Maybe:
Florida - Bobrovsky was bad last year and Driedger is unproven, though the latter had good numbers in a very small sample size.
St. Louis - Binnington got badly exposed during the playoffs and Husso is totally untested.
Anaheim - Gibson is their guy, but should look for a good backup given that Miller is 40. Miller had a good season last year, but you can't really keep kicking that can down the road.

Who loving knows:
Boston - Is Rask's heart really in to playing? He's got a young family and the world's currently on fire. Hockey may be the last thing he cares about right now.
Colorado - Rumblings that they're looking for a goaltender even though Grubauer and Francouz have been good.

Who loving cares:
Detroit - Johnathan Bernier is their starter right now but the team is going to be awful next year so it probably doesn't matter.
Chicago - Good luck with Colin Delia

grack fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Oct 8, 2020

DOOMocrat
Oct 2, 2003

Khudobin's gonna get 5x5 from a team with bad defense because PROVEN WINNER and not be the answer, I fear. But good for him, get paid.

I think any goaltender with a similar pattern of being good on perimeter and tips but beatable head on vs league average is gonna be just fine in the Dallas 1b role.

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Darude - Adam Sandstorm
Aug 16, 2012

grack posted:

Teams actually looking for goaltending (as far as I can tell):

Definitely need:
Minnesota - Quality starter. Guerin straight up said that he wants a new starter after trading away Dubnyk and throwing Stalock under the bus.
Vancouver - Quality backup or 1a/1b if Demko isn't ready to be a full time starter.
Calgary - Quality starter or 1a/1b because Rittich is mediocre at best. Honestly they should just re-sign Talbot.
Edmonton - 1a/1b since Koskinen is better with limited minutes.
Dallas - At least a quality backup for when Bishop has his yearly trip to the IR.
Carolina - Quality starter or 1a/1b because Mrazek is mediocre and Reimer probably isn't a full-time starter any more.
New Jersey - Quality backup, maybe a 1a/1b given that Blackwood's never played more than 43 games in a season.
Washington - A backup/mentor for Samsonov, but it looks like they're signing Lundqvist for that role.

Maybe:
Florida - Bobrovsky was bad last year and Driedger is unproven, though the latter had good numbers in a very small sample size.
St. Louis - Binnington got badly exposed during the playoffs and Husso is totally untested.
Anaheim - Gibson is their guy, but should look for a good backup given that Miller is 40. Miller had a good season last year, but you can't really keep kicking that can down the road.

Who loving knows:
Boston - Is Rask's heart really in to playing? He's got a young family and the world's currently on fire. Hockey may be the last thing he cares about right now.
Colorado - Rumblings that they're looking for a goaltender even though Grubauer and Francouz have been good.

Who loving cares:
Detroit - Johnathan Bernier is their starter right now but the team is going to be awful next year so it probably doesn't matter.
Chicago - Good luck with Colin Delia

I would add Buffalo and maybe Arizona since they seem set on dealing Raanta or Kuemper

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