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Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
If it was something unique to the elder wand or something that only happened under very specific and ritualistic circumstances like a formal duel or something, then maybe I could buy that most people aren't aware that wands can change ownership like that. But that's just not the case: Malfoy gets the elder wand because he got the drop on a curse-stricken Dumbledore and disarmed him, and later Harry gets ownership of both Malfoy's wand AND the elder wand because he like, tackles Malfoy to the ground. If it's that easy to earn the loyalty of another's wand you'd think it'd come up a lot more than it does.

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W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

Sydin posted:

If it was something unique to the elder wand or something that only happened under very specific and ritualistic circumstances like a formal duel or something, then maybe I could buy that most people aren't aware that wands can change ownership like that. But that's just not the case: Malfoy gets the elder wand because he got the drop on a curse-stricken Dumbledore and disarmed him, and later Harry gets ownership of both Malfoy's wand AND the elder wand because he like, tackles Malfoy to the ground. If it's that easy to earn the loyalty of another's wand you'd think it'd come up a lot more than it does.

Because more often than not, if you're in a situation where you're dueling another wizard, you're not really going to care about claiming their wand after you kick their rear end, presumably because your own wand was sufficient enough to do the job; why would you want to bother trading it out for one that just lost to you? And since most wizards tend to look down on "muggle dueling practices" like just punching a motherfucker in the face, if you do end up losing your own wand in a duel, odds are you're likely to be incapacitated or killed before you can come up with something you can do to overpower your opponent and take their wand from them. So rather than being common knowledge, it's just weird esoterica that's really only known about by professional wandcrafters or wand weebs who study wands as a hobby.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute

W.T. Fits posted:

Because more often than not, if you're in a situation where you're dueling another wizard, you're not really going to care about claiming their wand after you kick their rear end, presumably because your own wand was sufficient enough to do the job; why would you want to bother trading it out for one that just lost to you? And since most wizards tend to look down on "muggle dueling practices" like just punching a motherfucker in the face, if you do end up losing your own wand in a duel, odds are you're likely to be incapacitated or killed before you can come up with something you can do to overpower your opponent and take their wand from them. So rather than being common knowledge, it's just weird esoterica that's really only known about by professional wandcrafters or wand weebs who study wands as a hobby.

It's not even necessarily a dueling thing only though. Apparently you lose ownership of your wand if another wizard so much as slaps you on the rear end hard enough. You'd think through the natural course of all the bullying that takes place at Hogwarts, you'd have tons of people who inadvertently lose the loyalty of their wands and it being a huge issue.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

Sydin posted:

It's not even necessarily a dueling thing only though. Apparently you lose ownership of your wand if another wizard so much as slaps you on the rear end hard enough. You'd think through the natural course of all the bullying that takes place at Hogwarts, you'd have tons of people who inadvertently lose the loyalty of their wands and it being a huge issue.

That's the thing, though - getting your butt kicked doesn't mean your wand stops listening to you, it just means it will now also work for whoever kicked your rear end. Harry's actually been disarmed of his phoenix core wand before, and it still worked just as well as it always did up until it got smashed in the seventh book.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Zore posted:

Neville's upbringing is honestly probably more abusive than Harry's. He tells a 'funny story' of how he discovered he had magic in one of the early books. He was so late to display it everyone thought he was a squib so his great-uncle dropped him out of a third story window and he only survived by instinctually turning himself into rubber. He then talks about how that was the first time his grandmother ever seemed proud of him.

Its insanely hosed

There's actually a bit where Harry sees Neville visiting his near-catatonic parents in the wizard hospital and reflects that Neville might actually have it even worse than he does.

Who What Now posted:

It is kinda funny that whenever Harry and Voldemort have a clash they pit power of instant death against the power of... pushing a stick out of a hand. :effort:

Adava Kedavra is at least implicitly very hard to do unless you really mean it, which isn't hard for homicidal lunatic Voldemort but implied to be moreso for everyone else.

If you've got people trying to kill you all the time and kinda suck at spells, Expellarmius does seem like a practical one, since while a dangerous foe might be able to power through all manner of hexes and even Crucio in a pinch, disarming them takes away almost all of their options, and while it doesn't really come up it's one spell which is equally viable against someone wielding any kind of weapon. And it seems implied to be easy to use, compared to more advanced spells.

dordreff
Jul 16, 2013

NikkolasKing posted:

Dunno if you or anybody else here remember or watched the Harry Potter Let's Plays done on this here forum about a decade ago now but I still love them and I'm very grateful I saved at least 7 of them.

A billion dollar franchise yet they churned out this poo poo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o1_tgGuyfM

please tell me you have the one where one guy had a complete nervous breakdown during a bean collection minigame, i can only find this clip and need it back

RoboChrist 9000
Dec 14, 2006

Mater Dolorosa
You don't have playlists! I want to watch these in order! :(

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist
Last night I started my complete reread of the entire Harry Potter series. It’s been a long long time since I actually read these. I want to be better equipped to making fun of it and also enjoy the Shrieking podcast a little more by following along with it.

I fell asleep before finishing the first chapter. Off to a great start.

NikkolasKing
Apr 3, 2010



RoboChrist 9000 posted:

You don't have playlists! I want to watch these in order! :(

You mean me? Sorry, I rarely ever upload to YouTube and only did this on a request.

Here are all the vids I have and put in a playlist.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZ-06zMCdll3emOBBReTtQHUApuS4SKdB

It's a small miracle I have even this many as I only saved these because they would not load for me on the old blip or viddler players so I had to download them to watch them. Still, 7 is better than 0 I guess.


dordreff posted:

please tell me you have the one where one guy had a complete nervous breakdown during a bean collection minigame, i can only find this clip and need it back

Unfortunately not but thank you and that person for uploading that clip.

Rirse always told me he had all of them and would upload them but he never did and now he's banned so....

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
I'm a big fan of the Goblet of Fire game that's a horrible ripoff of the LotR film games, and the final games that are even horribler ripoffs of Gears of War. Harry Potter and the Tedious Cover Shooter.

Also I'm unironically excited for the dumb victorian Hogwarts rpg and I'm ashamed of myself for it.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008
Oy harry you turned yer'self into a newt!

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


Reading this thread has made me realize that wizards are so much dumber than I thought.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

CainFortea posted:

Reading this thread has made me realize that wizards are so much dumber than I thought.

thread title

amigolupus
Aug 25, 2017

CainFortea posted:

Reading this thread has made me realize that wizards are so much dumber than I thought.

Why do you think the wizards were studying brains in the department of mysteries?

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


Edgar Allen Ho posted:

I'm a big fan of the Goblet of Fire game that's a horrible ripoff of the LotR film games, and the final games that are even horribler ripoffs of Gears of War. Harry Potter and the Tedious Cover Shooter.

Also I'm unironically excited for the dumb victorian Hogwarts rpg and I'm ashamed of myself for it.

I'm only gonna play Harry Potter and the Tedious Cover Shooter if it has Unforgivable Melee Executions.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Sodomy Hussein posted:

I'm only gonna play Harry Potter and the Tedious Cover Shooter if it has Unforgivable Melee Executions.

I'm just picturing Fatalities and realising duelling would work way better as a fighting game

We see magic do hosed up poo poo like remove bones from an arm, do that on the whole body, or other ludicrously hosed up poo poo like expelling your organs from every orifice or exploding your blood or vomiting acid all over yourself

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I'm just picturing Fatalities and realising duelling would work way better as a fighting game

We see magic do hosed up poo poo like remove bones from an arm, do that on the whole body, or other ludicrously hosed up poo poo like expelling your organs from every orifice or exploding your blood or vomiting acid all over yourself

it should be like fallout with bodypart targeting, only you have a spell list 300 long. now THAT would be pod racing

chaleski
Apr 25, 2014

TheAardvark posted:

it should be like fallout with bodypart targeting, only you have a spell list 300 long. now THAT would be pod racing

I slow down time and use all my action points to Flipendo a Death Eater in the nuts six times in a row before he ragdolls across the room at mach five and clips through a wall

My ideal Harry Potter game has always been Bully set in Hogwarts, ideally with a new or player created character and a focus on exploration and discovery instead of action set pieces

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

chaleski posted:

I slow down time and use all my action points to Flipendo a Death Eater in the nuts six times in a row before he ragdolls across the room at mach five and clips through a wall

My ideal Harry Potter game has always been Bully set in Hogwarts, ideally with a new or player created character and a focus on exploration and discovery instead of action set pieces

Bully is scarily not far off a VN, especially since you literally regain health by kissing, and there's gay options

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

chaleski posted:

I slow down time and use all my action points to Flipendo a Death Eater in the nuts six times in a row before he ragdolls across the room at mach five and clips through a wall

My ideal Harry Potter game has always been Bully set in Hogwarts, ideally with a new or player created character and a focus on exploration and discovery instead of action set pieces

That's what I'm hoping for the new one.

Especially because it's far enough removed from the Voldemort poo poo that I can finally be a good slytherin. I wanna be low key scummy rogue, not likeable but also not a loving incel or nazi.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I'm just picturing Fatalities and realising duelling would work way better as a fighting game

We see magic do hosed up poo poo like remove bones from an arm, do that on the whole body, or other ludicrously hosed up poo poo like expelling your organs from every orifice or exploding your blood or vomiting acid all over yourself

lol that deleting and regrowing your bones is just Tuesday on the good guy side, and the worst thing the bad guy wizards can think of is instant painless execution.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
Harry Potter but Bully/Persona/etc and set in Hogwarts, away from the main plot could legitimately be good. Who knows what we're actually going to get though.

galagazombie
Oct 31, 2011

A silly little mouse!

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Especially because it's far enough removed from the Voldemort poo poo that I can finally be a good slytherin. I wanna be low key scummy rogue, not likeable but also not a loving incel or nazi.

House Slytherin was literally founded by a man who hid a Snake Monster in the bathroom in order to murder JewishMuggle children and resigned his post in outrage when the school admitted students from the untermensch. No matter how much better their color scheme and heraldry is the Nazism is in the marrow, no matter how many Slughorns Rowling tried to insert at the last minute.

chaleski
Apr 25, 2014

"Heritage not hate" - modern Slytherins

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things
JKR also did stupid poo poo like have all the Slytherins either run away from the Battle for Hogwarts or explicitly join Voldemort's side.

Literally the only 'good Slytherins' we see in the series are Slughorn (who's still a huge piece of poo poo) and Snape/Regulus who do absolutely monstrous things before they snap out of it and are redeemed in death.

rollick
Mar 20, 2009
Remake Lemmings but with house elves

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

I respect the idea of wanting a character who's kind of a jerk, but not entirely the worst scum, but that's still treating the House system with more depth than it has in the original material. Just like imagining the Hufflepuffs as more than redshirts.

Of course, the further you can get away from the source material and expand the world to really be larger, the better.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Bully is scarily not far off a VN, especially since you literally regain health by kissing, and there's a gay option

Eh, the balance is way more towards gameplay than plot or dialogue, and you don't so much choose a girl as you just romance a girl every chapter for each of the social groups you dominate.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

galagazombie posted:

House Slytherin was literally founded by a man who hid a Snake Monster in the bathroom in order to murder JewishMuggle children and resigned his post in outrage when the school admitted students from the untermensch. No matter how much better their color scheme and heraldry is the Nazism is in the marrow, no matter how many Slughorns Rowling tried to insert at the last minute.

That's a fair point but my wizard lore is 90% emo fanfic from a decade ago and 10% anything JK Rowling ever wrote, and I'd like to run up the percentage.

e: dramione forever no questions please.

Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Oct 13, 2020

chaleski
Apr 25, 2014

Rowling also claims Merlin was a Slytherin but it was long after people stopped giving a poo poo about her Twitter retcons and is almost offensively lazy to just go "yeah the greatest wizard in history even more so than Dumbledore was a Slytherin, see I can make Slytherin more nuanced and no I won't explain how he fits in with them at all"


Edgar Allen Ho posted:

e: dramione forever no questions please.

I'm calling the cops

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

chaleski posted:

Rowling also claims Merlin was a Slytherin but it was long after people stopped giving a poo poo about her Twitter retcons and is almost offensively lazy to just go "yeah the greatest wizard in history even more so than Dumbledore was a Slytherin, see I can make Slytherin more nuanced and no I won't explain how he fits in with them at all"


I'm calling the cops

Hogwarts was founded in 990 AD which is at the tail end of when most Merlin myths take place. So either he went to Hogwarts when he was an adult/several hundred years old (depending on tradition) or JKR just threw up some bullshit.

galagazombie
Oct 31, 2011

A silly little mouse!
Had she known how the series would blow up in popularity or how it's tone would change in later books (or how well Slytherin merch would sell), I definitely think Rowling wouldn't have made Salazar Slytherin himself both a Nazi and the founder of wizard Nazism. It made sense when Slytherin was just "the bullies" but now we're just going back around to talking about whimsicalness for the thousandth time.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008
JK got a fortune for pretending there were beans that taste like garbage but my family tells me my beans taste like garbage every night and they won't even help me do the drat dishes!

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


galagazombie posted:

Had she known how the series would blow up in popularity or how it's tone would change in later books (or how well Slytherin merch would sell), I definitely think Rowling wouldn't have made Salazar Slytherin himself both a Nazi and the founder of wizard Nazism. It made sense when Slytherin was just "the bullies" but now we're just going back around to talking about whimsicalness for the thousandth time.

Bold assumption given the inclusion of literal banking goblins.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

Both Sluggy Freelance and Billy and Mandy had extended Harry Potter parodies that kept on being revisited over time as the franchise continued.

I can't risk diving back into the Sluggy Freelance archives, but it's interesting to look at old clips of Nigel Planter at Toadblatt's School of Sorcery.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usjD_-3sMRY

rollick
Mar 20, 2009
The show Charmed had a shoehorned-in Hogwarts knock-off around 2003, except it was literally just called "Magic School". (sidenote: there is a much bigger Charmed fanbase online than I would have expected!)

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE4IpoJTXjU

let's not forget what the school's biggest idiots had to say as soon Draco got his birthright

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.

Zore posted:

Hogwarts was founded in 990 AD which is at the tail end of when most Merlin myths take place. So either he went to Hogwarts when he was an adult/several hundred years old (depending on tradition) or JKR just threw up some bullshit.

Merlin went through time backwards. So he would have been just the right age to attend Hogwarts as a kid during the first decade or two of its existence, and then help young Arthur with his quests 130 years earlier.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
holy poo poo the actual Luna Lovegood was in the dumb harry potter musical.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a81FO-2TxNg&list=PLvep3WS9e8tRA_amclMNdVkVqNazfebXk&index=2

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

Zore posted:

Hogwarts was founded in 990 AD which is at the tail end of when most Merlin myths take place. So either he went to Hogwarts when he was an adult/several hundred years old (depending on tradition) or JKR just threw up some bullshit.

Merlin was obsessed with taking ye olde personality quizzes

rollick
Mar 20, 2009
Maybe she meant to say Oberlin

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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008
Charmed kicked rear end.

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