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I suspect there is going to come a time where I absolutely don’t tell people exactly how to get away with poaching game birds without using a shotgun.
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Oct 16, 2020 21:03
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I've read that all the people in power are gonna profit a ton from no deal brexit but I genuinely was naive enough to think they wouldn't want their legacy to be the anhilation of the UK.
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Oct 16, 2020 21:04
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I was supposed to be in Poland right now knee deep in hookers and blow. This Corona thing is really starting to get annoying.
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Oct 16, 2020 21:07
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hemale in pain posted:I've read that all the people in power are gonna profit a ton from no deal brexit but I genuinely was naive enough to think they wouldn't want their legacy to be the anhilation of the UK. The Tories have morphed into this half-Maoist sect. They're all good with the tearing down of existing institutions half of Maoism but not the other half that involves building up new stuff in their place. It's all very odd. This thread isn't really the place to discuss it but there's something profoundly malfunctioning in our society and I don't quite know what it is.
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Oct 16, 2020 21:22
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learnincurve posted:I suspect there is going to come a time where I absolutely don’t tell people exactly how to get away with poaching game birds without using a shotgun. I'm sure I've read a book about that, I think sleeping pills were involved
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Oct 16, 2020 21:36
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Pseudohog posted:I'm sure I've read a book about that, I think sleeping pills were involved Lol grandad always said that would never work because they would cause the birds to bloat up and because they can’t fart or burp they would explode. It involves seeds, good timing, two cars and corrugated iron,
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Oct 16, 2020 21:49
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A big old fishing net and a hammer
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Oct 16, 2020 22:02
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goatface posted:A big old fishing net and a hammer Nope, make too much noise. Quiet thumps is what you are after at dawn.
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Oct 16, 2020 22:05
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I probably shouldn’t have been taught this at 8 years old and yet here we are.
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Oct 16, 2020 22:07
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learnincurve posted:Nope, make too much noise. Quiet thumps is what you are after at dawn. Kids are usually pretty sound asleep at that time but yeah it would be nice to have better sound insulation between rooms. Certainly something I won't skimp on in the new place.
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Oct 16, 2020 22:25
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learnincurve posted:Lol grandad always said that would never work because they would cause the birds to bloat up and because they can’t fart or burp they would explode. Roald Dahl lied to me! But I can still get away with murdering someone with a frozen leg of lamb and then roasting it and serving it to the coppers, right? learnincurve posted:It involves seeds, good timing, two cars and corrugated iron, OK, now I'm trying to visualise this and all I can see is a giant pair of cymbals
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Oct 17, 2020 00:45
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hemale in pain posted:I've read that all the people in power are gonna profit a ton from no deal brexit but I genuinely was naive enough to think they wouldn't want their legacy to be the anhilation of the UK. odds are good that said island will be the uk
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Oct 17, 2020 00:58
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There's a few things in Champion of the World that are exaggerated but one that isn't is that pheasants loving love raisins. If you had the patience to cut up a bunch of raisins and put tranquillisers in them I reckon it would work if you somehow knew what dose they needed. Much easier to just soak the raisins in booze and let them go at those until they're too pissed to fly. Never seen one explode.
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Oct 17, 2020 01:11
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Pseudohog posted:Roald Dahl lied to me! But I can still get away with murdering someone with a frozen leg of lamb and then roasting it and serving it to the coppers, right? That was a loving weird story to read as a kid when your precious Dahl experience was all Matilda and James & the Giant Peach.
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Oct 17, 2020 01:43
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Party Boat posted:There's a few things in Champion of the World that are exaggerated but one that isn't is that pheasants loving love raisins. If you had the patience to cut up a bunch of raisins and put tranquillisers in them I reckon it would work if you somehow knew what dose they needed. Much easier to just soak the raisins in booze and let them go at those until they're too pissed to fly. Never seen one explode. You can also ferment grapes, pour your bucket and then scatter seeds over the area you have primed, you want to train them to stay where they are eating rather than pick up and fly off into an area where you would be trespassing. (Edit: my grandad was literally a poacher though “it was a different time”)
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Oct 17, 2020 10:50
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Poaching is good and gamekeepers are the worst class traitor cunts there are. Fuckers have been done for poisoning endangered birds of prey. Just realised this is chat and not ukmt...
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Oct 17, 2020 11:07
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I've only poached an egg. Bit of a disappointment really. Unless you've never used a gun it's pretty much impossible to miss
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Oct 17, 2020 11:28
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I once had to killl an ill pigeon in my garden but wasn't brave enough so had to get my sister to do it
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Oct 17, 2020 11:31
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Pistol_Pete posted:The Tories have morphed into this half-Maoist sect. They're all good with the tearing down of existing institutions half of Maoism but not the other half that involves building up new stuff in their place. It's all very odd. This thread isn't really the place to discuss it but there's something profoundly malfunctioning in our society and I don't quite know what it is. They're way on brand them because neither was actual Maoism! I'm pretty sure Cummings, Bannon and friends are just mainlining the Littlefinger chaos speech at this point. Presumably the malfunctioning part is that all the conniving, competent talent flees the country to shadowy international asset management and only dregs remain in politics.
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Oct 17, 2020 11:52
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I found a sick pigeon in the road recently but also wasn’t brave enough to try killing it. Took it to the local vets so they could do it, at least they should know the technique.
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Oct 17, 2020 11:52
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no
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Oct 17, 2020 11:53
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fyi pineapple jaffa cakes are poo poo, worse than jammy dodgers even
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Oct 17, 2020 11:54
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kecske posted:fyi pineapple jaffa cakes are poo poo, worse than jammy dodgers even pineapple what now WHAT
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Oct 17, 2020 11:56
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furthermore im devastated to learn the chinese takeaway has closed down and is being replaced by a ribs and bbq takeaway, but its the waxed mustache tips and plaid shirt kind and not the kebab shop kind thats all for now please like and subscribe
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Oct 17, 2020 11:57
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Solefald posted:pineapple what now agreed, they sound like warcrimes
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Oct 17, 2020 12:09
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:agreed, they sound like warcrimes
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Oct 17, 2020 12:13
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welp not reading the grown ups thread for a bit. bit miserable.
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Oct 17, 2020 12:49
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You make me feel like a natural wombat.
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Oct 17, 2020 12:58
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NotJustANumber99 posted:welp not reading the grown ups thread for a bit. bit miserable. no you need to prepare to live like the guy from The Road and tie cardboard to your feet and kill a man for his stockpiled soup tins
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Oct 17, 2020 13:32
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kecske posted:no you need to prepare to live like the guy from The Road and tie cardboard to your feet and kill a man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf3b1AJNAR8
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Oct 17, 2020 13:52
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kecske posted:no you need to prepare to live like the guy from The Road and tie cardboard to your feet and kill a man for his stockpiled soup tins that's the optimistic view. Others are saying to just batter yourself to death with the soup tins because if all we've got is soup that's all well ever have and who wants to eat soup? You're already dead
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Oct 17, 2020 18:44
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NotJustANumber99 posted:grown ups thread You can’t mean the thread I think you do
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Oct 17, 2020 18:52
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Have varnished my living room floors over the last couple of days. When the apocalypse comes, I'll have nice, clean, waterproof floors at least.
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Oct 17, 2020 19:58
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The marauders will slip over home alone style, genius
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Oct 17, 2020 19:59
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how does tipping on deliveroo work? If I chuck a fiver on the app does the the restaurant tip them out from the order or does it come at set intervals?
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Oct 17, 2020 20:21
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TTerrible posted:You can’t mean the thread I think you do Lol. Yeah. But nah. kecske posted:how does tipping on deliveroo work? If I chuck a fiver on the app does the the restaurant tip them out from the order or does it come at set intervals? You should really be stockpiling your deliveroo credit for the apocalypse. I've got my deliveroo outfit in the garage for of I need to pretended to be one to entrap potential sources of I dunno protein or whatever
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Oct 17, 2020 21:17
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Googling 'Uk top 100' and finding that there's not just songs, or bands, but whole musical genres that I never knew existed. I'm old, lol.
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Oct 17, 2020 21:22
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This 21st century music seems suspiciously similar to 20th century music, except ruthlesslsly aimed at people who get their influences through Youtube and other social media.
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Oct 17, 2020 21:29
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kecske posted:how does tipping on deliveroo work? If I chuck a fiver on the app does the the restaurant tip them out from the order or does it come at set intervals? Driver gets the full tip after he delivers your order. Though you can now tip after the delivery which is worth doing instead so you don't have to risk tipping some dude who just steals your food. I think you might be able to 'tip the restaurant' too but that's dumb lol
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Oct 17, 2020 21:37
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talking of deliveries I'm going to get running again. Im the fattest and probably oldest Ive ever been. Tie to turn the tide, its just going to be really awkward if theres an apocalypse and i'm really fat. If youre already thin at least its less of a n abrupt change. Girlfriend zoom ended in acrimony again.
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Oct 17, 2020 22:29
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