- Escape From Noise
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I have one workout goal, and one workout goal only: to tone my abs so much that I can grate cheese on them!
Think how great that'd be! Some hot dude/babe is like "Oh man! I wish I had a cheese grater so I could prep this block of cheese for this pizza I'm making!" Ten you just lift your shirt and BAM! Instant cheese shredding. Maybe while they're grating you can get to know them a little more? I dunno. Just seems like a great opportunity.
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Oct 20, 2020 10:43
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- Adbot
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Apr 19, 2024 14:14
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- Escape From Noise
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Do 69 sit ups a day for 420 days and you'll be able to balance a bowling ball on your abdomen, op
But I wanna grate cheese? That way, if I go camping I'll have a survival grater!
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Oct 20, 2020 14:15
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- idiotsavant
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thats easy op, just get a hole punch and a angle grinder and you’ll be grating cheese with your abs in no time
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Oct 20, 2020 14:57
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- Evil Bob
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've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.
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I walk into the singles pizza making class and all eyes are on me. My body is sculpted as if from clay. I've been working out and everyone can tell. The women want me, the men want to be me. The teacher is a woman about the same age as me and she cant keep her eyes off of me. First we make the dough, combining the flour, sugar, yeast and kosher salt into a mixer and combine it. Each move I make is as graceful as a swan, as powerful as a lion. The alpha male is here and it is me. As I add water to the mixer I can feel eyes on me from all angles. Soon enough I have a perfect consistency dough and I pull it from the mixer and throw it down onto the lightly floured counter top with a loud "SLAP!" In unison every woman in the class jumps and has to catch her breath.
At this point productivity in the class room has come to a standstill except for myself and the teacher. We lock eyes as our dough flies through the air, tossing in unison. Next we roll the dough out my muscled arms rippling with each stroke of the rolling pin. Once we've rolled the dough its time to add the sauce and toppings. I spread a thin layer of tomato sauce on my pizza, next we need to grate the cheese.
"For this next step I would like a volunteer to help." The teacher breathes, upper lip twitching.
Every man in the classroom raises his hand, but they never had a chance. "Evil bob, will you come up and help me grate the cheese?"
I walk to the front of the classroom, all eyes are on me. The teacher moves to hand me a cheese grater, but I stop her. I lift my shirt and without a second thought she leaps at me and begins grating the cheese on my cheesegrater abs.
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Oct 20, 2020 16:25
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- Escape From Noise
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I walk into the singles pizza making class and all eyes are on me. My body is sculpted as if from clay. I've been working out and everyone can tell. The women want me, the men want to be me. The teacher is a woman about the same age as me and she cant keep her eyes off of me. First we make the dough, combining the flour, sugar, yeast and kosher salt into a mixer and combine it. Each move I make is as graceful as a swan, as powerful as a lion. The alpha male is here and it is me. As I add water to the mixer I can feel eyes on me from all angles. Soon enough I have a perfect consistency dough and I pull it from the mixer and throw it down onto the lightly floured counter top with a loud "SLAP!" In unison every woman in the class jumps and has to catch her breath.
At this point productivity in the class room has come to a standstill except for myself and the teacher. We lock eyes as our dough flies through the air, tossing in unison. Next we roll the dough out my muscled arms rippling with each stroke of the rolling pin. Once we've rolled the dough its time to add the sauce and toppings. I spread a thin layer of tomato sauce on my pizza, next we need to grate the cheese.
"For this next step I would like a volunteer to help." The teacher breathes, upper lip twitching.
Every man in the classroom raises his hand, but they never had a chance. "Evil bob, will you come up and help me grate the cheese?"
I walk to the front of the classroom, all eyes are on me. The teacher moves to hand me a cheese grater, but I stop her. I lift my shirt and without a second thought she leaps at me and begins grating the cheese on my cheesegrater abs.
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Oct 20, 2020 16:27
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- biosterous
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I walk into the singles pizza making class and all eyes are on me. My body is sculpted as if from clay. I've been working out and everyone can tell. The women want me, the men want to be me. The teacher is a woman about the same age as me and she cant keep her eyes off of me. First we make the dough, combining the flour, sugar, yeast and kosher salt into a mixer and combine it. Each move I make is as graceful as a swan, as powerful as a lion. The alpha male is here and it is me. As I add water to the mixer I can feel eyes on me from all angles. Soon enough I have a perfect consistency dough and I pull it from the mixer and throw it down onto the lightly floured counter top with a loud "SLAP!" In unison every woman in the class jumps and has to catch her breath.
At this point productivity in the class room has come to a standstill except for myself and the teacher. We lock eyes as our dough flies through the air, tossing in unison. Next we roll the dough out my muscled arms rippling with each stroke of the rolling pin. Once we've rolled the dough its time to add the sauce and toppings. I spread a thin layer of tomato sauce on my pizza, next we need to grate the cheese.
"For this next step I would like a volunteer to help." The teacher breathes, upper lip twitching.
Every man in the classroom raises his hand, but they never had a chance. "Evil bob, will you come up and help me grate the cheese?"
I walk to the front of the classroom, all eyes are on me. The teacher moves to hand me a cheese grater, but I stop her. I lift my shirt and without a second thought she leaps at me and begins grating the cheese on my cheesegrater abs.
thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs
       
he/him
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Oct 20, 2020 17:53
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- google THIS
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I walk into the singles pizza making class and all eyes are on me. My body is sculpted as if from clay. I've been working out and everyone can tell. The women want me, the men want to be me. The teacher is a woman about the same age as me and she cant keep her eyes off of me. First we make the dough, combining the flour, sugar, yeast and kosher salt into a mixer and combine it. Each move I make is as graceful as a swan, as powerful as a lion. The alpha male is here and it is me. As I add water to the mixer I can feel eyes on me from all angles. Soon enough I have a perfect consistency dough and I pull it from the mixer and throw it down onto the lightly floured counter top with a loud "SLAP!" In unison every woman in the class jumps and has to catch her breath.
At this point productivity in the class room has come to a standstill except for myself and the teacher. We lock eyes as our dough flies through the air, tossing in unison. Next we roll the dough out my muscled arms rippling with each stroke of the rolling pin. Once we've rolled the dough its time to add the sauce and toppings. I spread a thin layer of tomato sauce on my pizza, next we need to grate the cheese.
"For this next step I would like a volunteer to help." The teacher breathes, upper lip twitching.
Every man in the classroom raises his hand, but they never had a chance. "Evil bob, will you come up and help me grate the cheese?"
I walk to the front of the classroom, all eyes are on me. The teacher moves to hand me a cheese grater, but I stop her. I lift my shirt and without a second thought she leaps at me and begins grating the cheese on my cheesegrater abs.
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Oct 20, 2020 18:08
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- idiotsavant
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I walk into the singles pizza making class and all eyes are on me. My body is sculpted as if from clay. I've been working out and everyone can tell. The women want me, the men want to be me. The teacher is a woman about the same age as me and she cant keep her eyes off of me. First we make the dough, combining the flour, sugar, yeast and kosher salt into a mixer and combine it. Each move I make is as graceful as a swan, as powerful as a lion. The alpha male is here and it is me. As I add water to the mixer I can feel eyes on me from all angles. Soon enough I have a perfect consistency dough and I pull it from the mixer and throw it down onto the lightly floured counter top with a loud "SLAP!" In unison every woman in the class jumps and has to catch her breath.
At this point productivity in the class room has come to a standstill except for myself and the teacher. We lock eyes as our dough flies through the air, tossing in unison. Next we roll the dough out my muscled arms rippling with each stroke of the rolling pin. Once we've rolled the dough its time to add the sauce and toppings. I spread a thin layer of tomato sauce on my pizza, next we need to grate the cheese.
"For this next step I would like a volunteer to help." The teacher breathes, upper lip twitching.
Every man in the classroom raises his hand, but they never had a chance. "Evil bob, will you come up and help me grate the cheese?"
I walk to the front of the classroom, all eyes are on me. The teacher moves to hand me a cheese grater, but I stop her. I lift my shirt and without a second thought she leaps at me and begins grating the cheese on my cheesegrater abs.
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Oct 20, 2020 19:35
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- idiotsavant
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BYOB iks, pls rename evil bob to my cheesegrater abs
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Oct 20, 2020 19:36
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- Prof. Crocodile
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Regretting my choice to get washboard abs now. Sitting in the corner playing a sad little song on my washboard abs because I didn't go the cheesegrater way.
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Oct 21, 2020 04:27
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- Escape From Noise
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Hopefully I can work out my hands until they can cut through a boot, and then slice a tomato!
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Oct 21, 2020 08:39
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- Prof. Crocodile
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a soul like a strong looking butt.
do we still have that "forum title" thread around here somewhere?
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Oct 22, 2020 01:29
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- Escape From Noise
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Working on my glutes in the hopes that one day I'll be able to remove corn from the cob with it and, God willing, core apples.
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Oct 22, 2020 14:41
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- Gluten Free Dad
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i practise zazen and do weightlifting, and this time next year I aim to be strong enough to punch god right in his laughing gear
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Oct 22, 2020 14:50
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Apr 19, 2024 14:14
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- Prof. Crocodile
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im learning drunken boxing, i scream, as beer cans spill out of my car door
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Oct 23, 2020 13:10
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Oct 20, 2020 10:43
