NFL Week 8 N/V - I Did It All For Dinucci - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 8 N/V - I Did It All For Dinucci

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Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:

Could the next gdt please be called I Did It All For Dinucci

Better than anything I would've come up with!

Blah blah blah subject to change due to COVID and NFL incompetence, etc.

FizFashizzle posted:

I mean he's just a fall guy. We're not halfway through the season.

If you're firing Nolan, then why not McCarthy too?

I think everyone knows what's going to happen in Dallas. McCarthy is one and done, Dak is going to leave, Vander esche is going to get run over by a Llama or something, the team will collapse.

At a strip club in February, Jerry will have a cocaine induced stroke and be sent to a "care facility" by his family.

The cowboys will continue to implode. The heirs will destroy the organization Jerry built in an attempt to create something "in their own image."

The cowboys will hire a hot shot college coach who will flame out, then bring back John Fox for some old school discipline with predictable results.

Jerry will become incontinent. Another stroke will take his ability to walk. Sundays will be spent watching the team he kinda remembers owning, maybe in a past life or was that a dream? either way, the salisbury steak at this place is great, and they know how to make it just like he likes it; extra Ms. Dash, because this fake salt poo poo just doesn't cut it for him.

The memories that survive dementia are the most traumatic. In between his lucid moments he'll relive Romo's fumble on the field goal, McNabb's deep toss to Freddie Mitchell, and that one time a stripper threatened to actually bring his baby to term. Had he killed her or paid her off? Who can remember. There were so many of them.

In between pissing himself he'll sexually assault Filipino CNAs and talk about how "you just can't make those n***** play hard some time" to other employees who've grown accustomed to his frequent use of racial slurs.

He'll die forgotten and alone, his family too busy fighting over their inheritance to come see him and wheel him in front of the birds.

Eventually he'll develop a necrotic sore on his rear end from sitting down all day and making GBS threads himself. He'll spike a fever one day, become even more coherent, and the seven and a half dollar an hour CNA will realize "he's sick."

He'll die alone, incoherent, feverish, stoned off his rear end from the best pain meds money can buy. His family will not be there.

The networks will trot out a litany of drunk former players who did blow with him that claim "no one loved the game more." Roger Goodell will order a league wide moment of silence, accented by taxpayer funded flyovers in all stadiums.

As he slips his mortal coil, he'll coarsely whisper something. An environmental services employee will hear it and lean their ear close. With his dying breath, he'll strain to say....._{how bout dem boys}

# ? Oct 27, 2020 09:13

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:04

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

If you aren't rooting for a Cowboys/Eagles tie you don't care for clownball at all.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 09:53

Diva Cupcake: Aug 15, 2005

The Jets @ Chiefs line might be one of the biggest ever.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 12:00

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

Lol Bucs Giants MNF

# ? Oct 27, 2020 13:03

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Android Apocalypse posted:

If you aren't rooting for a Cowboys/Eagles tie you don't care for clownball at all.

Diva Cupcake posted:

The Jets @ Chiefs line might be one of the biggest ever.

Last I checked, it�s like 19.5 right now. This came up in one of the GDT�s I think, but the biggest of all time was the 2013 Broncos being favored by 28 over the Jaguars. Denver was 6-0 and scoring like 40+ a game (This was a week after the 51-48 shootout against Romo) while the Jags were 0-6. That game ended up being close early, with Denver only leading 14-12 at halftime (The Jags failed on a 2-pt attempt after a pick six just before halftime) before they got going on both sides of the ball and eventually won 35-19, rather than it being some legendary curb stomping.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 13:53

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

Joey Freshwater posted:

Lol Bucs Giants MNF

Even though Eli retired, Brady needs to lose this one like he did to BDN to keep up the pattern of losing to NFC teams he lost to in the Super Bowl.

Downside is that it could make the Giants 1st(!) in the NFCE.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 14:10

Yuzenn: Mar 31, 2011; Be weary when you see oppression disguised as progression

The Spirit told me to use discernment and a Smith n Wesson at my discretion

Practice heavy self reflection, avoid self deception
If you lost, get re-direction

Android Apocalypse posted:

Even though Eli retired, Brady needs to lose this one like he did to BDN to keep up the pattern of losing to NFC teams he lost to in the Super Bowl.

Downside is that it could make the Giants 1st(!) in the NFCE.

We are going to get curb stomped, an Eli type Daniel Jones is not

# ? Oct 27, 2020 14:20

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

How is Steelers Ravens not at least a 4 o clock game?

# ? Oct 27, 2020 14:30

tarbrush: Feb 7, 2011; ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

I think we can all agree that the Giants playing a playoff game is the hilarity that 2021 will need.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 14:32

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Android Apocalypse posted:

Even though Eli retired, Brady needs to lose this one like he did to BDN to keep up the pattern of losing to NFC teams he lost to in the Super Bowl.

I think it's more likely Daniel "Dimes" Jones turns the ball over eight times.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 14:35

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

Android Apocalypse posted:

Even though Eli retired, Brady needs to lose this one like he did to BDN to keep up the pattern of losing to NFC teams he lost to in the Super Bowl.

Downside is that it could make the Giants 1st(!) in the NFCE.

With the way the defense has been playing I don't think Brady will have to do much this game

# ? Oct 27, 2020 14:36

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

Joey Freshwater posted:

Lol Bucs Giants MNF

Man, all the prime time games this week.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 14:36

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

tarbrush posted:

I think we can all agree that the Giants playing a playoff game is the hilarity that 2021 will need.

The winner of the NFC East, with a losing record, is going to host the top wildcard team, which will probably be the second place NFC West team with double digit wins. The NFC East team will win this game in hilarious fashion.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 14:38

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Eager to watch the Panthers blow an easy game against the Falcons.

It is our destiny.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:00

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

fartknocker posted:

The winner of the NFC East, with a losing record, is going to host the top wildcard team, which will probably be the second place NFC West team with double digit wins. The NFC East team will win this game in hilarious fashion.

I welcome it.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:01

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

The line for the Jets is +21, but I would put money down that the Vikings lose by that much.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:01

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

so you can tell stanley tucci
to stick it up his yeah

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:01

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

fartknocker posted:

The winner of the NFC East, with a losing record, is going to host the top wildcard team, which will probably be the second place NFC West team with double digit wins. The NFC East team will win this game in hilarious fashion.

Ive said it before, but if your not cheering for &e to get his first playoff win on a sub .500 Dallas team you hate fun.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:02

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

OxySnake posted:

Ive said it before, but if your not cheering for &e to get his first playoff win on a sub .500 Dallas team you hate fun.

I mean, gently caress the Cowboys forever, but that would be pretty funny...

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:06

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

Joey Freshwater posted:

With the way the defense has been playing I don't think Brady will have to do much this game

I mean, just last season, they blew an 18 point lead to Daniel loving Jones.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:16

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

I want Dallas to go 6-10, win the division, upset whoever they play in the first round of the playoffs and then for Jerry in his euphoria to extend Andy as the QB of the future and let Dak leave for some other team. That�s the funniest scenario.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:21

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

Is there a minimum time a concussed person has to sit out? I know concussions are not like an ACL where we know now how long recovery time is, but he's out only the week minimum, right?

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:26

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Android Apocalypse posted:

Is there a minimum time a concussed person has to sit out? I know concussions are not like an ACL where we know now how long recovery time is, but he's out only the week minimum, right?

No minimum time at all, he just has to pass the various concussion tests, which could happen at any time.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:27

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

wandler20 posted:

I mean, just last season, they blew an 18 point lead to Daniel loving Jones.

Fair but neither of these teams look the same and if Matt loving Gay had made that 30 yarder as time expired it wouldn't have mattered.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:28

Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

OxySnake posted:

Ive said it before, but if your not cheering for &e to get his first playoff win on a sub .500 Dallas team you hate fun.

I am -- but I'm also cheering, just slightly harder, for someone to get eliminated by The Football Team

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:28

shyduck: Oct 3, 2003

https://twitter.com/joriepstein/status/1321086278906109967?s=21

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:32

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

Joey Freshwater posted:

Fair but neither of these teams look the same and if Matt loving Gay had made that 30 yarder as time expired it wouldn't have mattered.

Our kickers man. Succop has been solid this year at least.

Also, lol @ 3 of the 4 teams playing in primetime this week are from the NFCE. The NFL has to flex that SNF game out. Just move Seattle to SNF permanently since their games are always bonkers.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:33

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

shyduck posted:

https://twitter.com/joriepstein/status/1321086278906109967?s=21

The cowboys collapsing has been a nice treat

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:35

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007

FizFashizzle posted:

Eager to watch the Panthers blow an easy game against the Falcons.

It is our destiny.

I�ve already steeled myself for the two Saints/Falcons games.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:36

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

wandler20 posted:

Our kickers man. Succop has been solid this year at least.

Also, lol @ 3 of the 4 teams playing in primetime this week are from the NFCE. The NFL has to flex that SNF game out. Just move Seattle to SNF permanently since their games are always bonkers.

Don't you dare take prime time Cowboys @ Eagles away from us.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:38

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

I know it's not like a multiple choice test like your high school biology class but there's a part of me that would :lol:

if players figure out how to fool the concussion protocols & get back on the field before they're truly ready.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:41

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Android Apocalypse posted:

I know it's not like a multiple choice test like your high school biology class but there's a part of me that would if players figure out how to fool the concussion protocols & get back on the field before they're truly ready.

They do for some versions of the baseline tests. They ask you little logic questions and you're supposed to answer as fast as you can when you're healthy before the season or whatever. Then they run that back after a big hit and see if it takes you a lot longer to answer. Lots of guys intentionally fudge the hell out of their baselines.

Or did at least, I don't know if the testing method has changed.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:44

pasaluki: Feb 27, 2008; THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

If your Andy why rush back to a team that is going to get you killed and actually doesn't care when they do?

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:45

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

pasaluki posted:

If your Andy why rush back to a team that is going to get you killed and actually doesn't care when they do?

The competitive nature of QB's that want to be starters?

I wish medical personnel would be an independent entity not paid & ultimately influenced by teams, as getting players back on the field seems to be the desire over the health of the player.

# ? Oct 27, 2020 15:48

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AdmirableTimelyFruitbat-mobile.mp4

# ? Oct 27, 2020 16:09

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

Godwin has the worst luck this year.

https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/status/1321106258133471235?s=20

# ? Oct 27, 2020 16:15

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

shyduck posted:

https://twitter.com/joriepstein/status/1321086278906109967?s=21

he's not mad at all

# ? Oct 27, 2020 16:21

Pron on VHS: Nov 14, 2005; Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling

Cowboys players letting Andy Dalton get brutalized with no fight, drat. I remember Reggie Ragland tweeting this after Myles Garrett brained Kyle Rudolph lol

https://twitter.com/reggieragland/status/1195201797180346369?s=20

# ? Oct 27, 2020 16:45

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/status/1321118175619092480

# ? Oct 27, 2020 16:58

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:04

Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

a neat cape posted:

https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/status/1321118175619092480

ravens trying desperately, pathetically to join the bucs-chiefs arms race

# ? Oct 27, 2020 17:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 8 N/V - I Did It All For Dinucci

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