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so it's my last two days as your feared ik and i want to address the elephant in the room... byob's ratings are down amongst our core audience. our board of overseers has cut funding and our missionaries have all either been assimilated by the tribes they went out to preach to or they've been lost to natural disasters, wild animal attacks or both simultaneously. there have been several ideas bandied about and i'd like to use this thread to discuss these and other ideas for getting our ratings back up: 1. more gratuitous nudity in thread tags 2. more cliffhangers at the end of pages 3. swears, lots and lots of swears, like we should talk like the cool kids do these days 4. byob posters be replaced by younger, more beautiful actors who are clearly in their late 20s to early 40s but are cast as teenagers in a dark yet tumultuous high school setting... with super powers... and vampires... and mummies please use this thread to discuss |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 15:46 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 18:39 |
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subliminal messages. just embed the following key primal activator words into the forum stylesheet: gently caress SEX KILL DIE MURDER EXTREME rear end |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 15:52 |
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"posting" is now sending a message for the hottest Yob to read out on twitch |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 15:58 |
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I think part of the problem is that the snails we've been hiring are putting too much focus on "craft" and "method" instead of just being young dumb and cute. nobody reads byob for the witty snail banter, they want hotties.
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:03 |
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Unnaturally beautiful actors with bulging junk in tight pants wasn’t an option so I just voted bulging junk but I think we need the unnaturally beautiful actors as well tbh. I just saw the ratings numbers and things are lookin rough.
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:05 |
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Manifisto posted:I think part of the problem is that the snails we've been hiring are putting too much focus on "craft" and "method" instead of just being young dumb and cute. nobody reads byob for the witty snail banter, they want hotties. It’s really this. Folks just want to watch those sexy snails entwine. who cares if they can string a coherent sentence together.
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:08 |
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we also lack the competitive aspect that younger demographics crave. nobody is voting each other out of threads or being eliminated with a witty catchphrase (e.g. "your hurf is durfed"). also we need some kind of prize that people throw each other under the bus for, like a weeklong pass to post in fyad without anybody being mean to you, or the right to close the subforum of your choice. |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:15 |
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With regards to point 3, just pointing out that I'm British so if you need a dude who can liberally, carelessly throw the C word around, upset a lot of people, but then claim diplomatic immunity, I'm your guy |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:19 |
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Yeah I'm gonna have to vote for sexy 20-40 year olds to play teenage posters
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:23 |
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i was gonna post like a young person posting as me but i have no idea how young people behave |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:30 |
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Ugh math is so hard like when am i even gonna use it *takes off shirt the way guys in movies do to reveal rippling 8pack abs* i just want to write music and like solve mysteries i guess teenage life am i right? monsters and romance and *5 o clock shadow creeping in* yeah sex
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:46 |
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It's true we haven't been anywhere near as horny this month compared to September. Nude Spawn was a big hit, hop in the zoom meeting and let's brainstorm if it's possible for other comic book characters to become naked. |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:47 |
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we need to build on the success of some of our classic properties. for example, why does the gf pour the blue fluid on the tampon only 1x/month? what if it was 2x or even 3x? the sky's the limit here and that's before considering other colors besides blue. |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:53 |
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Monster Energy's The Floor is Java Half-Caf full Guarana presents nut's post: weird, i've been doing really well lately
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 16:57 |
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well we've already tried stealing a bunch of disney property, and we have brought back fan favorite bo pepper. i think that the logical next step is to kill off a popular character for a quick ratings boost. i would volunteer but i am not popular, so unfortunately i will have to continue living. Prof. Crocodile fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Oct 29, 2020 |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 17:04 |
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oh but seriously I posted:"posting" is now sending a message for the hottest Yob to read out on twitch ok running with this idea, if we can raise $300 we can have lindsay lohan read our posts live! https://www.cameo.com/lindsaylohan also yes we need dumber but sexier snails brb writing down the rest of these ideas on my yellow legal pad
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 17:09 |
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Luvcow posted:if we can raise $300 we can have lindsay lohan read our posts live! you have the solution in the same post as the problem |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 17:10 |
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ok i love the idea of killing off a popular poster, i believe manifisto is already on it with his package of "bees" being sent out and the writers are excited at this prospective storyline: Evil Bob posted:Ugh math is so hard like when am i even gonna use it *takes off shirt the way guys in movies do to reveal rippling 8pack abs* i just want to write music and like solve mysteries i guess we're toying with the idea of me being played by zac effron and i'll be a mummy with a crippling hedgehog addiction who swears a lot and never seems to wear a shirt |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 17:12 |
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:It’s really this. Folks just want to watch those sexy snails entwine. who cares if they can string a coherent sentence together. Well guess I better start now: hey perverts LOOK at these psuedo-snails having a gently caress these pseudo-snails look at them GO AT IT with FULL FRONTAL SLIPPERY you like it??? no---you love it!!!
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 17:12 |
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Prof. Crocodile posted:you have the solution in the same post as the problem having lindsay lohan sing the "snail with human titties" song might legit be worth $300
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 17:12 |
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FutonForensic posted:Well guess I better start now: yes!!! we just scored a ratings boost!!! Manifisto posted:having lindsay lohan sing the "snail with human titties" song might legit be worth $300 omfg i think we are through the looking glass here...
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 17:15 |
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Manifisto posted:having lindsay lohan sing the "snail with human titties" song might legit be worth $300 |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 17:33 |
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the 18-35 demo tunes in for conflict! for sweeps week we need to start a (friendly, ironic) war with another subforum. I suggest P/C because we both like ghosts
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 18:11 |
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Manifisto posted:we need to build on the success of some of our classic properties. for example, why does the gf pour the blue fluid on the tampon only 1x/month? what if it was 2x or even 3x? the sky's the limit here and that's before considering other colors besides blue. i'm all for innovation but there are some things you just don't mess with imo
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 18:24 |
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my rating of BYOB is 10/10 which is a very high rating and I will say this: ty for letting me come back I love you all |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 18:44 |
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Search engine optimization for byob is already ordered, we will have to try to include FART gently caress HELL in every seventh post from now on
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 18:49 |
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bring back the snail with human titties the people demand it |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 18:52 |
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FutonForensic posted:Well guess I better start now: *crowd of yobbers screaming FUTON FUTON like they're on Jerry Springer* |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 19:01 |
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FutonForensic posted:Well guess I better start now: |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 19:09 |
I’d go with partial nudity but nobody can tell if you’re naked or not. Do you think people would take your word for it?
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 19:31 |
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ya gotta trust each other |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 19:32 |
I am wearing clothes, right now at least..
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 19:38 |
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i got two words for you: SHARK WEEK |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 20:31 |
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Slush Garbo posted:i got two words for you:
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 20:40 |
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Sid Vicious posted:bring back the snail with human titties the people demand it we spearheaded a campaign to bring back the snails this summer and we sold three (3) issues of our swimsuit issue! https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3930329
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 20:49 |
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Luvcow posted:so it's my last two days as your feared ik and i want to address the elephant in the room... byob's ratings are down amongst our core audience. our board of overseers has cut funding and our missionaries have all either been assimilated by the tribes they went out to preach to or they've been lost to natural disasters, wild animal attacks or both simultaneously. there have been several ideas bandied about and i'd like to use this thread to discuss these and other ideas for getting our ratings back up: I was excited to see cryptids in the poll, but when I read the OP it looks more like you are talking about monsters and not cryptids? We need drop bears! Fresno Nightcrawlers! Flat Bigfoot! Also: Slush Garbo posted:i got two words for you:
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 20:55 |
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SkunkApe OnlyFans |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 21:39 |
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if you want to bring in the ratings you need tables ladders and chairs |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 21:41 |
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A wedding episode always pops the numbers. Who we marrying Papps off to? |
# ? Oct 29, 2020 21:50 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 18:39 |
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It looks like there's a significant dip in ratings once I wake up and start posting must be a coincidence
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# ? Oct 29, 2020 21:56 |