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Ah yes, that whimsical magical creature that many of you have gotten the gifts of and later in life have been blessed to become! First of all, did you ever as a young person encounter one of the wonderful gifts of a porn elf? Now let's keep it clean, nobody here wants to hear about your first woodland wank. Is there anything else that happened about it or was amusing? And again, not the wankery. More interesting topic for the thread, were you ever the porn elf? That person who's leaving their parents home, has just got a proper internet connection or had an angry girl/boy/otherfriend? What exactly made you decide to not just toss out the magazines but instead put them in a bag and hide it in the woods? 
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Oct 30, 2020 00:12
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My friends dad had giant stacks of playboys so we didn't need the woods. Maybe my friends dad was the porn elf.
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Oct 30, 2020 00:15
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i have extremely specialist tastes due to childhood trauma involving a pet python, and was instead visited by the Vore Centaur op
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Oct 30, 2020 00:17
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my uncle used to have a stack of vintage Playboy's in every bathroom in his house and he had the biggest collection of porn I've ever seen hidden away in a closet. don't worry he also has the biggest video game collection I've ever seen do he's not a pervert just serious about collecting
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Oct 30, 2020 00:22
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Sorry to tell you this but your uncle is a hoarder. Distribute the means!
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Oct 30, 2020 00:24
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oh no that's even worse than a pervert
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Oct 30, 2020 00:24
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I wanted to get rid of a big stack of mags one time and I didn’t want to throw them out in my own trash for some reason so I bundled them up in my car with the intent of finding a dumpster or something. I parked at a shopping center and suddenly felt weird about walking around looking for a place to dump a porn pile, so I did the honorable thing and put all of them in the open bed of the pickup truck parked next to me and I drove off. I guess I was a porn elf.
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Oct 30, 2020 00:30
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i saw a titty in National Geographic in the library in like 3rd grade and I told this other kid jeremy and he fuckin told the teacher and they got rid of the magazine like what the gently caress is wrong with you jeremy come on
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Oct 30, 2020 00:46
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I left some porno mags under the mattress at the family cottage during my teens. I think they got found and thrown out before any of my younger cousins got a chance with them
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Oct 30, 2020 01:00
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Jeremy you piece of poo poo
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Oct 30, 2020 01:07
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That looks more like one of those cardboard signs at amusement parks, the “you must be this tall to ride” guys. 
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Oct 30, 2020 01:08
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Jeremy’s a drat narc wtf
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Oct 30, 2020 01:21
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I like Elf Porn
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Oct 30, 2020 01:22
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I blame the Puritans e: FOR BOTH SIDES OF THE COIN
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Oct 30, 2020 01:23
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Sid Vicious posted:my uncle used to have a stack of vintage Playboy's in every bathroom in his house and he had the biggest collection of porn I've ever seen hidden away in a closet. don't worry he also has the biggest video game collection I've ever seen do he's not a pervert just serious about collecting sounds like he was collecting shithead nephews
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Oct 30, 2020 01:39
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https://i.imgur.com/Hr811A1.mp4
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Oct 30, 2020 01:46
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I found a huge stack of porn mags on the sidewalk while walking home from school. There was some normal magazine on top but my spidey sense went off and hoo boy, jackpot. I brought a bunch to Boy Scout camp and sold them.
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Oct 30, 2020 02:36
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Antifa Spacemarine posted:I like Elf Porn Legit thought the thread was gonna be more along these lines. I was expecting like a camgirl whose gimmick was dressing up like an elf or something.
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Oct 30, 2020 02:41
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I thought this was going to be another thread about the elf dildo
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Oct 30, 2020 03:04
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i like nice words
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Surprised that this wasn't about 20 year old russian pornstar Eva Elfie
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Oct 30, 2020 03:18
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Seems like this was a real missed opportunity to make a thread about lewd elves, OP.
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Oct 30, 2020 03:29
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Tom Gorman posted:i saw a titty in National Geographic in the library in like 3rd grade and I told this other kid jeremy and he fuckin told the teacher and they got rid of the magazine Probably at a similar age, pre 5th grade at least since I moved before that, I would steal my dad's playboys and hide them in the woods in the fort the neighborhood boys and I made behind my house. Once, my year older cousin was visiting and I let him in on the magic. He ran off and told my mother and she destroyed the stash =(
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Oct 30, 2020 03:32
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Like I was an uptight goodie-two-shoes as a kid and even I wouldn't have snitched on some porno. My thing was just the fear of getting caught with the contraband like don't bring that poo poo to my house or my mom will think I'm a disgusting freak and I'll die of embarrassment.
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Oct 30, 2020 03:53
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Once I found a garbage can full of porno mags at a state park, it was one of those garbage cans made out of an old oil drum and there was enough porn to fill it like 2/3 of the way up. But it was the mid-2000's so I was already all set with much better internet porn. I suspect that's why someone was getting rid of them.Chomp8645 posted:Legit thought the thread was gonna be more along these lines. I was expecting like a camgirl whose gimmick was dressing up like an elf or something.
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Oct 30, 2020 03:59
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Tom Gorman posted:i saw a titty in National Geographic in the library in like 3rd grade and I told this other kid jeremy and he fuckin told the teacher and they got rid of the magazine gently caress you Jeremy!!!!
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Oct 30, 2020 04:26
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:sounds like he was collecting shithead nephews lmao
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Oct 30, 2020 04:40
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let's talk about THE porn - "Elf"
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Oct 30, 2020 05:57
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I am automatically assumed it was that elven chick harshing on the bonghit lol
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Oct 30, 2020 05:59
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what is this, a thread for gen Xers? who didn't at least use kazaa?
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Oct 30, 2020 06:06
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incoherent light posted:let's talk about THE porn - "Elf" Look, it was a long time ago and she needed the money for Elf College.
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Oct 30, 2020 06:13
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corgski posted:what is this, a thread for gen Xers? Hey, only one of my roommates had a computer and it was in the livingroom ok? I made due by nabbing his old Maxims out of the trash.
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Oct 30, 2020 06:32
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corgski posted:what is this, a thread for gen Xers? yes, but some of us had early internet hands up if you wrapped the modem in a towel to try to quiet down the DEEEE-DEEEE-DEEEE-WYEORNG-WYEORNG-VUZZZZZZZSH late at night
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Oct 30, 2020 07:21
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Some friends and I found a bunch of porn and gun magazines in a shack in the woods in Arkansas. Describing it as an adult I remembered how weird it was that the shack had food and a bed in it. We straight up stole some mountain mans porn.
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Oct 30, 2020 07:24
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 19:40 |
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Stand By Me except instead of a dead body they’re off to look at a massive porn stash that the older kids dumped in the woods
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Oct 30, 2020 17:04
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