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In the land of wizards, he who owns a 1911 is king.
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Nov 2, 2020 23:28
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What would voldemort do if Harry, working with the RAF, summoned him up and then called a drone strike in on the both of them
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Nov 3, 2020 00:11
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Probably fire Avada Kadavra's wildly into the sky and then turn the drone into a horcrux just before the missile hit while screaming something about filthy mudbloods.
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Nov 3, 2020 01:05
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I feel like any English squib or wizard who could call up a foreign power to invade the pathetically unstable and tiny English wizarding world could get a good gig as a puppet dictator.
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Nov 3, 2020 01:17
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We definitely covered "bomb the wizards" earlier in the thread because I distinctly remember writing fanfic where Neville gets squashed by an inert warhead.
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Nov 3, 2020 01:39
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I more meant like Im sure French Wizards would love to conquer England
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Nov 3, 2020 04:58
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Barudak posted:I more meant like Im sure French Wizards would love to conquer England The only french wizards we meet are willing to die for Dumbledore and Hogwarts no questions asked. And one of them gets constantly trashed on despite marrying a beloved son, being a super helpful household guest, and again, putting her life on the line no questions asked
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Nov 3, 2020 05:41
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:The only french wizards we meet are willing to die for Dumbledore and Hogwarts no questions asked. I mean, I don't see why French Wizarding world would send their best or their brightest to visit backwards pants making GBS threads England.
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Nov 3, 2020 09:00
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IIRC someone asked JK about this and she claimed that potion brewing always requires some magical act. Naturally occurring ingredients or elements with some innate effect might be able to be extracted by muggles or squibs, but the transformative nature of the act of potionmaking needs the brewer to ejaculate some magic into it.
MikeJF fucked around with this message at 09:35 on Nov 3, 2020 |
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Nov 3, 2020 09:32
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Behold, the magic Bunsen burner.
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Nov 3, 2020 09:34
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The more I hear about Squibs, the more cruel Dumbledore is for hiring Filch in the first place. In the hands of a good writer, you could probably explore an AU where Squibs and Muggles get to go to Hogwarts but can only take classes like Potions, Herbology or other new classes that don't require a wand. A Squib Harry being forced to go to Hogwarts because of Dumbledore's plans for him and having to adapt and be crafty would also be interesting, I think.
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Nov 3, 2020 09:51
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MikeJF posted:IIRC someone asked JK about this and she claimed that potion brewing always requires some magical act. Naturally occurring ingredients or elements with some innate effect might be able to be extracted by muggles or squibs, but the transformative nature of the act of potionmaking needs the brewer to ejaculate some magic into it. Sounds like some gatekeeping wizard bullshit to me!
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Nov 3, 2020 09:54
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josh04 posted:Sounds like some Rowling bullshit to me!
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Nov 3, 2020 11:21
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A lot makes sense when you realise it's literally just the british aristocracy Hagrid is even specifically expelled and given token employment for reasons that are obvious racism
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Nov 3, 2020 12:36
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Sure, but as much as they claimed to, aristocrats did not actually have an inbuilt ability to lead that the common man lacked. Rowling has a definite habit of landing face-first in natural law justifications for inequality.
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Nov 3, 2020 14:02
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amigolupus posted:The more I hear about Squibs, the more cruel Dumbledore is for hiring Filch in the first place. So Vorkosigan series but with pants making GBS threads.
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Nov 3, 2020 16:20
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What I love most about "Wizards just poo poo on the ground and warped it away" is that it means Salazar Slytherin put the secret entrance to the Chamber of Secrets in a room full of functional toilets that everyone could have used, but refused to.
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Nov 3, 2020 16:34
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Back in the day it was the chamber of pots.
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Nov 3, 2020 16:37
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Salazar Shitterin
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Nov 3, 2020 16:38
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Everything about the chamber of secrets is highly dubious. 1) giant snake lives here somehow 2) secret door in the girls room 3) it fuckin caved in 4) hogwarts didn't repurpose the room to store quaffles or apparating hoops.
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Nov 3, 2020 16:45
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5) Weird in retrospect that it's called the Chamber of Secrets and not the Chamber of One Snake
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Nov 3, 2020 16:52
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galagazombie posted:What I love most about "Wizards just poo poo on the ground and warped it away" is that it means Salazar Slytherin put the secret entrance to the Chamber of Secrets in a room full of functional toilets that everyone could have used, but refused to. The whole thing came up during a question about how the chamber entrance could be like that despite it predating indoor plumbing by centuries, and it's some overly elaborate explanation about how a descendant of Slytherin at the time of the plumbing overhaul ensued it was kept secret and integrated or something Which is so dumb given that Hogwarts's architecture has always been depicted as a little bit alive, it's the perfect case to just go 'magic'. Slytherin helped build Hogwarts and he made sure the entrance would adapt to any changes. There, much less silly convoluted reason.
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Nov 3, 2020 17:11
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Being a squib should be like a modern disability where people are still largely functional even if there's specific things they physically can't do, and there needs to be special measures to accommodate them, but instead it's more of the old-fashioned ways disabilities were treated, where parents often disown them, and they get pushed into the margins with little to no opportunity in their lives. And this is just kind of casually part of the worldbuilding and presented with zero sympathy to even goad the reader into thinking the same way. Filch is just a mean piece of poo poo that the reader is encouraged to hate. I'm not even sure it's confirmed within the text that he's a squib, it's just one of the rumors about him and how terrible he is.
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Nov 3, 2020 19:04
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I mean, I buy that some squibs would simply choose to integrate into muggle society considering the magical world is prejudiced as gently caress at the best of times and even if you were accommodated, it would be in a lovely, second-class sort of way where everybody looks down on you sneeringly. That said the Rowling bit about how potions require you to be magical is bullshit: I'm fine with the ingredients themselves being magical and needing magic to cultivate/harvest/etc, but once you've got the ingredients and a cauldron anybody following instructions should be able to brew something. Hell, isn't potion making introduced in book 1 with Snape giving a big lecture about how potion making is the noble art because it doesn't require any silly wand waving? Hell, not to write too much fanfiction here but how about you make so that in the setting most potion makers are squibs, because normal wizards are focused wand-based magic. So you set up this underclass of people who are looked down on for their lack of magic and resultingly the whole trade of potion making is also considered "lesser", even though it's vitally important to wizarding society. This could also add an extra layer to Snape where he's incredibly naturally gifted at potion making but also loving despises it because it's what filthy squibs do, and this is part of why he's so disgruntled at being saddled with the potion master gig instead of DAtDA. e. Okay I promise I'll stop with this poo poo but another thing on this thread is it could have been used to humanize Filch even a little bit. Say we learn early on that he's a squib and brews all his own potions for cleaning/maintaining the castle, and later on when Harry learns he needs to get good at potions to become a cop and knows Snape won't help him with dick, he ends up asking Filch and after some tension they actually form something of a friendship and mutual respect.
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Nov 3, 2020 19:13
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SlothfulCobra posted:Being a squib should be like a modern disability where people are still largely functional even if there's specific things they physically can't do, and there needs to be special measures to accommodate them, but instead it's more of the old-fashioned ways disabilities were treated, where parents often disown them, and they get pushed into the margins with little to no opportunity in their lives. i think they caught filch w/ a send away "stop being a squib!" kit or something didnt they
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Nov 3, 2020 19:26
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TheAardvark posted:i think they caught filch w/ a send away "stop being a squib!" kit or something didnt they Yeah, in the second book.
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Nov 3, 2020 19:36
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Half the owls that show up in the great hall each morning have spam letters about magical wand enlargement.
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Nov 3, 2020 19:40
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Oh, there's a general complaint, what kind of school lets hate mail get delivered directly to the students? Hermione receives a loving letterbomb at one point.
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Nov 3, 2020 19:55
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I always thought the snake had been polyjuiced into looking like the old lady and her dead body was in the room with all the blood, but I just read that part in the book and the snake is literally inside her using her like a puppet. What the gently caress? How does that work? Does the tail go down one leg, back up and then into the other leg, and the torso is working the arms? How does she hold the matches? WHY WAS THIS THE MORE LOGICAL SOLUTION THAN POLYJUICING THE SNAKE?!
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Nov 3, 2020 20:34
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Friend posted:I always thought the snake had been polyjuiced into looking like the old lady and her dead body was in the room with all the blood, but I just read that part in the book and the snake is literally inside her using her like a puppet. What the gently caress? How does that work? Does the tail go down one leg, back up and then into the other leg, and the torso is working the arms? How does she hold the matches? WHY WAS THIS THE MORE LOGICAL SOLUTION THAN POLYJUICING THE SNAKE?! The snake was also a woman who was like a hundred years old and had turned permanently into a snake by the time she hooks up with Voldemort. They add this whole big backstory for her in the dumb Fantastic Beasts movies.
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Nov 3, 2020 20:38
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josh04 posted:Oh, there's a general complaint, what kind of school lets hate mail get delivered directly to the students? Hermione receives a loving letterbomb at one point. The kind of school that has zero interest in the mental, emotional, or physical well-being of its students beyond treating the injuries it should have prevented in the first place.
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Nov 3, 2020 20:38
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Nagini being a person is a worse prequel idea than C-3PO being made by Anakin. It's a weird idea to take time out of your big new movie to contrive a backstory for the villain's pet, but conceptually, what's the point? Nagini wasn't a character in the original story, she was just an animal that ate people. Is the fact that she's a former person supposed to recontextualize the original story and make her into a sympathetic or tragic figure? Is it to signify that Voldemort's even more of a freak? Is it just a cheap way of referencing the original story for some shock value in a way that was never really thought through and also makes the world seem smaller?
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Nov 3, 2020 23:38
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MikeJF posted:IIRC someone asked JK about this and she claimed that potion brewing always requires some magical act. Naturally occurring ingredients or elements with some innate effect might be able to be extracted by muggles or squibs, but the transformative nature of the act of potionmaking needs the brewer to ejaculate some magic into it. Now I'm imagining a far better series centered on Sumerian myths rather than British racism/classism and am sad that such a series is not a major cultural touchstone.
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Nov 4, 2020 02:59
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Zore posted:The snake was also a woman who was like a hundred years old and had turned permanently into a snake by the time she hooks up with Voldemort. They add this whole big backstory for her in the dumb Fantastic Beasts movies. That doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't be able to work a human body as a puppet as a snake
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Nov 4, 2020 03:11
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Friend posted:That doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't be able to work a human body as a puppet as a snake A wizard did it.
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Nov 4, 2020 03:26
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I say this again, everything makes more sense if slytherin just gets to be the snooty goth house, and Voldemort himself is what poisoned it and put the murder snake down there and stuff
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Nov 4, 2020 03:47
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Sydin posted:Half the owls that show up in the great hall each morning have spam letters about magical wand enlargement. "We've been trying to contact you about your broom's warranty."
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Nov 4, 2020 03:50
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Atheris posted:The kind of school that has zero interest in the mental, emotional, or physical well-being of its students beyond treating the injuries it should have prevented in the first place. I keep telling you it's literally just a british boarding school
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Nov 4, 2020 04:06
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josh04 posted:Oh, there's a general complaint, what kind of school lets hate mail get delivered directly to the students? Hermione receives a loving letterbomb at one point. Sometimes you even get hatemail where your parent screeches their letter through a megaphone spell for the entire school to hear, much like Ron did during book 2.
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Nov 4, 2020 12:43
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The school being complicit with the parents in enabling direct abuse and humiliation is, as Ghost Leviathan keeps pointing out, just a regular feature of British Boarding Schools. The letterbomb just seems ludicrous, Voldemort should just have mailed Harry some anthrax. The Owls will apparently deliver it, and he'll open it right over his slave-labour cornflakes.
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Nov 4, 2020 12:48
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