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josh04 posted:Voldemort should just have mailed Harry some anthrax. The Owls will apparently deliver it, and he'll open it right over his slave-labour cornflakes. If there's anything I want the average reader to walk away from this thread with, Voldemort is the dumbest wizard. He's lucky the whole robes look is in style because that man doesn't have the brains to operate pants.
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Nov 4, 2020 12:53
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josh04 posted:5) Weird in retrospect that it's called the Chamber of Secrets and not the Chamber of One Snake It's actually meant to be the Chamber of Secret Snake but they had a character limit
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Nov 4, 2020 13:06
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:I say this again, everything makes more sense if slytherin just gets to be the snooty goth house, and Voldemort himself is what poisoned it and put the murder snake down there and stuff Could've been later reveals about how really the chamber was just a place Slytherin built to house his beloved but dangerous pet so nobody would get hurt and that's why it'll open to anyone with Parselmouth, since they're the only ones who might be safe; and then over a thousand years the entire Slytherin backstory got appropriated and rewritten by the racists so that Slytherin was now a pure-blood crazy guy and the chamber is where the heir of Slytherin will find the weapon to cleanse the school and so on. And the poor thing was just following the instructions of the only person who it could understand.
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Nov 4, 2020 13:17
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Probably also a bit of a problem that you will fuckin' die if you make eye contact with this thing. I dunno maybe newt scaramander could rehouse it or something.
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Nov 4, 2020 13:19
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 Say what now?
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Nov 4, 2020 13:30
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Chat poo poo, get hip'd.
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Nov 4, 2020 14:18
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amigolupus posted:Sometimes you even get hatemail where your parent screeches their letter through a megaphone spell for the entire school to hear, much like Ron did during book 2. I do like how they did this in the movie where the letter turns into a mouth, and in between the screams it turns to make a friendly aside to another character. reignofevil posted:If there's anything I want the average reader to walk away from this thread with, Voldemort is the dumbest wizard. He's lucky the whole robes look is in style because that man doesn't have the brains to operate pants. This at least is actually supported by the text, Hermione does say that many powerful wizards can't solve simple logic problems because they're so used to magic, and Dumbledore points out that Voldemort is above all else a drama queen (fitting for a wizard nazi) who wouldn't do things the boring and practical way when he can make a statement.
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Nov 4, 2020 14:23
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A lot of people don't know this but the reason voldemort doesn't have a nose is because he was trying to get a booger with his wand and he accidentally blew his own nasal cavity asunder.
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Nov 4, 2020 14:25
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reignofevil posted:If there's anything I want the average reader to walk away from this thread with, Voldemort is the dumbest wizard. He's lucky the whole robes look is in style because that man doesn't have the brains to operate pants. And now we’re all imagining Voldy was going commando the whole time. Wait, plot twist: his dong is a tiny Quirrel head.
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Nov 4, 2020 17:24
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Good to hear Bellatrix didn't have to fiddle with anything and could just spread Voldy's robe and hop on.
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Nov 4, 2020 21:33
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So what are the rules of Avada Kedavra? Does it have to hit you dead on? What if it hits you on the pinky finger, do you still die? Since hair is technically not a living part of your body after the follicle makes it do head-shots get deflected? I don't think the spell hits a single time that's not dead center of the chest.
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Nov 5, 2020 02:32
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galagazombie posted:So what are the rules of Avada Kedavra? Does it have to hit you dead on? What if it hits you on the pinky finger, do you still die? Since hair is technically not a living part of your body after the follicle makes it do head-shots get deflected? I don't think the spell hits a single time that's not dead center of the chest. It's like phasers in Star Trek.
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Nov 5, 2020 03:17
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There are whole forums of wizards complaining about all these new wands having aimbot.
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Nov 5, 2020 03:23
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reignofevil posted:If there's anything I want the average reader to walk away from this thread with, Voldemort is the dumbest wizard. He's lucky the whole robes look is in style because that man doesn't have the brains to operate pants. It's funny how as soon as he embraced the side of him that came from incredibly inbred relatives, Voldemort became the stupidest motherfucker ever.
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Nov 5, 2020 05:13
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amigolupus posted:It's funny how as soon as he embraced the side of him that came from incredibly inbred relatives, Voldemort became the stupidest motherfucker ever. Again, this is literally just British aristocracy.
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Nov 5, 2020 06:24
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Did Voldemort look like a snake man before he ressurrected?
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Nov 5, 2020 18:43
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Between his time at school and when he became a public figure, he apparently traveled the world and did strange transfigurations on himself and was unrecognizable as Tom Riddle. I can't remember if this was in the books or the Shrieking Shack podcast mentioned it. I'm currently on Azkaban on my read-through.
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Nov 5, 2020 18:47
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More fantastic ideas from brain genius voldemort- "I should make myself look like a melted rubber mask and with no more hair follicles there will be no more small talk about what kind of hair product I use... brilliant!"
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Nov 5, 2020 19:28
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You ever wonder how Voldemort would have turned out if the circumstances of his birth and early childhood were the same, but he and the rest of the world never found out that he was a wizard?
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Nov 5, 2020 19:32
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Zesty posted:Between his time at school and when he became a public figure, he apparently traveled the world and did strange transfigurations on himself and was unrecognizable as Tom Riddle. I thought the books implied him becoming more snake like was because of ripping his soul up in making the horcruxes.
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Nov 5, 2020 19:40
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reignofevil posted:More fantastic ideas from brain genius voldemort- "I should make myself look like a melted rubber mask and with no more hair follicles there will be no more small talk about what kind of hair product I use... brilliant!" Well, wizard hair gel is a Potter trademark, so it's really awkward.
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Nov 5, 2020 20:12
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Sydin posted:I thought the books implied him becoming more snake like was because of ripping his soul up in making the horcruxes. I think what I described was the earlier explanation and what you described was what Rowling settled on what did it.
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Nov 5, 2020 20:21
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Fairly sure "he was unrecognisable" was in the books, but it's ambiguous as to whether it's physically or metaphorically.
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Nov 5, 2020 20:33
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Zesty posted:I think what I described was the earlier explanation and what you described was what Rowling settled on what did it. JK Rowling assures me that all the horcrux poo poo was already planned out in book one
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Nov 5, 2020 20:38
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Regalingualius posted:You ever wonder how Voldemort would have turned out if the circumstances of his birth and early childhood were the same, but he and the rest of the world never found out that he was a wizard? He'd be a senator or some poo poo who just occasionally lured people into rooms and made people relive their worst nightmares or maybe he makes the lights flash all spooky or something.
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Nov 5, 2020 20:42
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Also, I agree with the podcast crew that young Voldemort would've been way more effective if he had been less explicitly evil.
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Nov 5, 2020 20:44
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I'm also listening to the Shriekcast and I generally appreciate it, but I have two major complaints: 1. UK journos are absolute scum and Rowling is 100% correct to portray them as such. 2. Xeecee is wildly wrong about fires not needing to get hot enough to cook.
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Nov 5, 2020 20:49
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As he made his Horcrux's he looked increasingly like a crack addict with every one, but still human looking. The last time we see him chronologically before the books is a flashback to when he tried to get hired as a teacher at Hogwarts and Dumbledore rejects him. He's described as looking like well, a crack addict, and had at that point made 5 Horcruxes. It isn't until he gets his artificial body in book 4 (both baby and adult versions) that he becomes a monster man. It's unclear if this is because he chose the form on purpose or is a side affect of the body having initially made as a kind of parasite on Nagini. Also Nagini apparently has nipples and milk that Voldy used to build/sustain himself and I don't know if that's because Nagini was a magic snake or because Rowling failed Biology in High School.
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Nov 5, 2020 21:20
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galagazombie posted:Also Nagini apparently has nipples and milk that Voldy used to build/sustain himself and I don't know if that's because Nagini was a magic snake or because Rowling failed Biology in High School.  When Voldemort mentioned needing Wormtail to milk Nagini, I thought he meant "milk the snake's venom glands" and was using the venom as an ingredient in some kind of potion that he was using to sustain his weird snake demon baby body.
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Nov 5, 2020 21:26
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Snake milking is totally a thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW4wbbO71iI
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Nov 5, 2020 21:30
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Nov 5, 2020 21:36
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galagazombie posted:As he made his Horcrux's he looked increasingly like a crack addict with every one, but still human looking. The last time we see him chronologically before the books is a flashback to when he tried to get hired as a teacher at Hogwarts and Dumbledore rejects him. He's described as looking like well, a crack addict, and had at that point made 5 Horcruxes. It isn't until he gets his artificial body in book 4 (both baby and adult versions) that he becomes a monster man. It's unclear if this is because he chose the form on purpose or is a side affect of the body having initially made as a kind of parasite on Nagini. Also Nagini apparently has nipples and milk that Voldy used to build/sustain himself and I don't know if that's because Nagini was a magic snake or because Rowling failed Biology in High School. Yeah, the fact that Dumbledore wasn’t described as being visibly or verbally repulsed by Voldemort’s appearance during that final meeting made me think that he still looked more or less human, “just” heavily emaciated from years of dark magic taking it’s toll on him. The Horcruxes only guaranteed that he would be brought back to life, not that the results would be pretty.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:14
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Given what Spirit Harry sees in Book 7, I think flayed snake baby Voldemort is just what Voldemort looks like now. His form in Book 4 before his revival is a "materialization" of what he has done to his soul. None of the Death Eaters seemed shocked by his appearance when they returned in GOF. And this is what Dumbledore has to say in Book 7, as well as the description of Past Tom Riddle post-most Horcruxes. quote:Harry let out a hastily stifled gasp. Voldemort had entered the room. His features were not those Harry had seen emerge from the great stone cauldron almost two years ago: They were not as snakelike, the eyes were not yet scarlet, the face not yet masklike, and yet he was no longer handsome And even before most of his Horcruxes, his eyes turned red when he was angry at the fat lady and the shop owner for stealing his mom's Locket. I always remembered this exchange quote:“Slytherin’s mark,” he said quietly, as the light played upon an ornate, serpentine S. You can interpret this in all sorts of ways but it is the only implication he ever was empathetic to another human being. Sure, it might very well have just been selfish - they stole "his" Locket, after all - but it's interesting to think about. NikkolasKing fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Nov 5, 2020 |
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Nov 5, 2020 22:28
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I could also see the argument that it wasn’t empathy for his mother, but that it clicked together for him in that instant that the pawn shop owner who ripped off his mom was a large part of why his childhood was so lovely. Even if Merope had still died, she could have left him some means to make a life for himself in the wizarding world if she had gotten anything even remotely close to the ring’s true worth.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:43
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Regalingualius posted:I could also see the argument that it wasn’t empathy for his mother, but that it clicked together for him in that instant that the pawn shop owner who ripped off his mom was a large part of why his childhood was so lovely. Even if Merope had still died, she could have left him some means to make a life for himself in the wizarding world if she had gotten anything even remotely close to the ring’s true worth. I find the implication that the Wizarding World has no orphanages peculiar. You'd think Dumbledore or the Ministry would want to put a young prodigy like Voldemort in "St. Merlins Home for Magical Children" or something when they found him instead of leaving him with those backwards muggles. Like we know that the only reason Harry wasn't raised in the magic world is because of the love force field around the Dursleys.
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Nov 5, 2020 23:37
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galagazombie posted:I find the implication that the Wizarding World has no orphanages peculiar. You'd think Dumbledore or the Ministry would want to put a young prodigy like Voldemort in "St. Merlins Home for Magical Children" or something when they found him instead of leaving him with those backwards muggles. Like we know that the only reason Harry wasn't raised in the magic world is because of the love force field around the Dursleys. I'm fuzzy on the details of all the inane flashbacks Dumbledore forces Harry to sit through, but IIRC as far as the ministry knew at the time Merope was a squib and so didn't really pay any mind to her after the murder incident. That she actually did have magic and used it to rape a muggle and have his kid were things learned way after the fact. So they had no idea who or what Riddle was until whatever process happens that detects magic children that need to go to Hogwarts kicked in and Dumbledore showed up to get him.
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Nov 5, 2020 23:55
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galagazombie posted:I find the implication that the Wizarding World has no orphanages peculiar. You'd think Dumbledore or the Ministry would want to put a young prodigy like Voldemort in "St. Merlins Home for Magical Children" or something when they found him instead of leaving him with those backwards muggles. Like we know that the only reason Harry wasn't raised in the magic world is because of the love force field around the Dursleys. Hell, I was just thinking along the lines of her at least getting care inside of a wizarding hospital when it came time to give birth. Even if she still died then, Tom would have already been exposed to the wizarding world from birth. What I’m saying is that socialized Wizarding medical care could have potentially prevented Voldemort from ever becoming reality.
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Nov 6, 2020 01:06
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So is Dark Magic supposed to be a metaphor for drug use/addiction? Because it'd be so much like JKR to say that using Dark Magic means you're evil forever (Never mind that Harry and friends used Unforgivables a lot during the last two books).
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Nov 6, 2020 07:35
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No, it's Fascism. See also: Umbridge
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Nov 6, 2020 08:02
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amigolupus posted:So is Dark Magic supposed to be a metaphor for drug use/addiction? Because it'd be so much like JKR to say that using Dark Magic means you're evil forever (Never mind that Harry and friends used Unforgivables a lot during the last two books). Harry also uses Snape's "cut a bitch" spell against Malfoy and the first thing Snape says to Harry after is "drat son that's some powerful dark magic you're rocking." It's kinda implied that this is maybe going to cause some self reflection in Harry regarding his recklessness and anger issues, but nah in the exact same book a couple chapters later he tries to use it again because Snape killed Dumbledore.
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Nov 6, 2020 08:07
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