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But never about how to improve the experience of making GBS threads. Studies have shown that we spend 1/3 of our lives on the toilet-- how can we best make use of that time? A stool under your feet is important. That is what they teach you on day one: Increase the rectal canal angle, creating an easier pathway for fecal matter to travel. Dim the lights, of course. Take off all your clothes and close your eyes. What else? What's missing? What's been missing for me is a bidet. I thought it was reserved for European royalty and the Japanese. But for 31 years of my life I've been missing out. I've been missing out and I'm ashamed of myself. I'm not going to spoil how it feels. If you don't have one, buy one, lean back, and take the  I'm open to even more suggestions
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Nov 28, 2020 07:27
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1/3? I thought the average was 1/2. This is most unsettling
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Nov 28, 2020 07:30
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Just poo poo in the shower and waffle stomp it down the drain. Spray a heavy dose of axe after you dry off to cover the smell of moist poo poo in the air. More efficient use of your time.
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Nov 28, 2020 07:30
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its all nice on rice posted:Just poo poo in the shower and waffle stomp it down the drain. Spray a heavy dose of axe after you dry off to cover the smell of moist poo poo in the air. More efficient use of your time. Take a lot of laxitives. Save time and avoid the stomp.
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Nov 28, 2020 07:34
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Be presidential and wear a diaper. Don't let making GBS threads slow you down!
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Nov 28, 2020 07:37
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is the dial setting all the way on the right BUM NASH or SUM WASH im usually a bum nash man myself. usually
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Nov 28, 2020 07:38
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The Wurst Poster posted:Take a lot of laxitives. Laxatives are an unwanted expense. Just drink milk or eat cheese and let lactose intolerance do the rest.
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Nov 28, 2020 07:46
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Just go on dirty keto, you will never poo poo again
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Nov 28, 2020 07:48
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But seriouslly install a bidet and laugh as you never have to experience swamp rear end again and lol at all the fools making a run for TP during the pandemic.
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Nov 28, 2020 08:19
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People who dare wear white trousers are either on top of their making GBS threads game or full of hubris and i hate them all
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Nov 28, 2020 10:43
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lol what
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Nov 28, 2020 12:45
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Tankakern posted:lol what 
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Nov 28, 2020 17:25
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op I'm takin a piss
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Nov 28, 2020 17:34
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Just get one of those "phone" shower heads and an extension hose.
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Nov 28, 2020 17:38
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lmao if you aren't spending 2/3rds of your life pooping. Just...loving...lol. Step your god drat game up you idiot. You child. You loving...poop baby.
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Nov 28, 2020 17:49
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To be so innocent. To wander the world as a babbling virgin minded blither-mouthed moron. 1/3rd of life spent pooping, only. How unkempt, unwoke, unworthy of even common sense or dignity. Every SECOND not spent posting or twilling about your man/woman/or other parts should by all means be spent in the process of expending waste from your bowels! This is what the universe has demanded of humankind from the beginning! It's only natural! And to think that one would limit themselves, in this manner, foul-ly is, frankly, obscene. And if I were so empowered I would have these words of yours retracted.
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Nov 28, 2020 17:55
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Hippos are magnificent shitters. They don’t crouch furtively, shamefully dropping sad little poops as quickly as possible. No, they stand tall, using their tail to spray poop in all directions. It’s a celebration of making GBS threads, a glorious poop firework. We could learn a lot from hippos.
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Nov 28, 2020 17:56
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people talk about all this bidet's and making GBS threads stools or whatever. personally i only do old fashioned, western grip making GBS threads and i find the experience of standing on a stool to poo poo extremely emasculating and demeaning.
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Nov 28, 2020 18:02
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when it comes to making GBS threads: we don't need to bring multiple products from amazon into this.
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Nov 28, 2020 18:02
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My grandad was on safari when suddenly a cheetah ran right past him at full speed. A split second later a turd hit him and took his leg right off
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Nov 28, 2020 18:05
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I take a series of smaller but lightning fast poops in the morning. Maybe separated by 5-10 minutes or so.
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Nov 28, 2020 18:06
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TurboFlamingChicken posted:But seriouslly install a bidet and laugh as you never have to experience swamp rear end again and lol at all the fools making a run for TP during the pandemic. This this so much this I've had a bidet attachment for about three years and boy oh boy did I ever appreciate that investment at the start of the panicdemic. I mean I've appreciated it since the very first poo poo after installing it, but man not worrying about picking up toilet paper was a pretty big relief. $45, ten minutes to install, never look back my friends
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Nov 28, 2020 18:44
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Crap and poop
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Nov 28, 2020 18:45
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water in my butt sounds great.
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Nov 28, 2020 20:23
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I enjoy a good poo poo. Did it twice today in fact.
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Nov 28, 2020 20:28
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I hope one day to be able to poop in VR. Possibly with some sort of vtuber avatar.
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Nov 28, 2020 20:30
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Nov 28, 2020 20:38
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Hell Yeah posted:water in my butt sounds great. 
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Nov 28, 2020 21:25
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I have a true recent making GBS threads story Again, yikes For months now I've been daintily passing odorless symmetrical rabbit pellets. Since I eat astoundingly healthily including a gently caress ton of fresh vegetables daily I know this ain't right. I ask Doc in telehealth call and she says no harm in trying Miralax powder. It's not a stimulant and can't hurt you; it draws more water into intestines or smth, the normal dose is a little in a glass of water daily. So I buy some at Costco and LIKE MAGIC 3 days later normal big poops. I figure that's better for me right? After about a week I think hey maybe I'm back on track and stop taking it, nbd. Spinz fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Nov 28, 2020 |
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Nov 28, 2020 22:14
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I don't want to install a bidet system because the idea of work terrifies me so I bought a large quantity of high volume syringes from amazon and filled them warm water and shoot them straight into my butt after pooping and boy I gotta tell you this really does make all the difference in the world. Just imagine you're done pooping but instead of wiping you get up, stand over a towel and fire 6 or 8 huge cattle syringes of hot water directly into your poopy nethers and then use a dish cloth to dry off while crying. Man you've NEVER felt so clean.
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Nov 28, 2020 22:18
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Hell Yeah posted:water in my butt sounds great. Or a toothbrush, whatevs.
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Nov 28, 2020 22:18
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I didn't think anything of it until maybe 3 days later suddenly I feel like I need to go to the bathroom but nothing happens. An hour later I'm recalling notorious Whitney Houston/Bobby Brown rumors, and 2 hours later doing Asian crouches in the middle of my bathroom over a plastic bag on my floor. I was in a cold sweat and starting to panic. I hosed UP and am so stupid what didI think was going to happen? Now I'm going to have to go to the ER, catch Covid, and die. The worst part is it was right there like a breech birth, but I can't get a hold of it. [I've obviously given up on finding a husband on SA.]
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Nov 28, 2020 22:21
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Spinz posted:I didn't think anything of it until maybe 3 days later suddenly I feel like I need to go to the bathroom but nothing happens. Frankly spinz you probably just STARTED getting a husband with a post like that. God bless ya
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Nov 28, 2020 22:24
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I can honestly say since I'm childless nothing close to this has happened to me before. I don't know what finally made it go but suddenly it did. It was hilariously massive. I hand to God thought of GBS. I felt it leaving my diaphragm area as it traveled out. I was ok, no blood, and was fine to my pleasant surprise. I take a tiny bit of the powder every few days, that's it, and it's all I need, but I'd be scared to cold turkey it again.
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Nov 28, 2020 22:25
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So like does a bidet feature high pressure? I have my doubts that one could deal with the aftermath of a beer and pizza binge where the poop has the texture and integrity of industrial drywall spackle and the smell of soul rot.
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Nov 28, 2020 22:51
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How does a bidet dry you off? Or do you just walk around with a wet butthole all day?
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Nov 28, 2020 23:27
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AlphariusOmegon posted:How does a bidet dry you off? Or do you just walk around with a wet butthole all day? There's a little fan. I wondered the same thing, then just earlier this week I found out a friend of mine had one installed a few months ago. He loves it and said it was amazing.
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Nov 29, 2020 00:11
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Old fashioned bidets do not dry your rear end. They leave that up to you. This also is not difficult.
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Nov 29, 2020 00:16
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Icochet posted:Old fashioned bidets do not dry your rear end. They leave that up to you. This also is not difficult. Ok but how do I do that? Presumably with toilet paper, but there are people in this very thread claiming that no TP is needed. Please, I am very confused.
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Nov 29, 2020 00:26
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AlphariusOmegon posted:Ok but how do I do that? Presumably with toilet paper, but there are people in this very thread claiming that no TP is needed. 
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Nov 29, 2020 00:34
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