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Dumblecore is the name of a style of wizard music.
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Dec 12, 2020 16:01
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amigolupus posted:Thinking about it, Trelawney should've been the teacher that Voldemort kills in front of his Death Eaters at the start of book 7. At least that would've had some kind of impact for the readers rather than killing the Muggle Studies teacher that we've never even seen before. Having it be any of the named minor teachers we actually met would be a huge improvement. Relatedly, Moody should have been real for part of Goblet if we’re supposed to care about him. Also, two things about the podcast: holy poo poo the guy host is called Xeecee not ZC. And, they’re going to finish Deathly Hallows early next year. So essentially it took them part of 2018 to get through 3.75 books and more than two years to wade through the final 3.
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Dec 12, 2020 16:10
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Moody should have been real for part of Goblet if we’re supposed to care about him. On that note, I haven't read the series in forever so I might be misremembering things a bit but does Moody do anything worthwhile in the modern setting in the books? He's described as this badass wizard Jack Bauer who caught or killed like half the Death Eaters in the first war but all we see him do is get his rear end kicked repeatedly and die.
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Dec 13, 2020 01:15
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chaleski posted:On that note, I haven't read the series in forever so I might be misremembering things a bit but does Moody do anything worthwhile in the modern setting in the books? He's described as this badass wizard Jack Bauer who caught or killed like half the Death Eaters in the first war but all we see him do is get his rear end kicked repeatedly and die. I just finished OotP on a reread I'm doing and in that one the only thing he does is get dropped by I think Bellatrix* in the fight at the Dept of Mysteries. I will report back if he does anything in HBP but I'm pretty sure he, like everyone, just does some fights off-screen during the raid on Hogwarts *maybe not tho because straight up everyone else does: Tonks, Sirius and Kingsley all get taken down by her in the same scene
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Dec 13, 2020 01:51
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chaleski posted:On that note, I haven't read the series in forever so I might be misremembering things a bit but does Moody do anything worthwhile in the modern setting in the books? He's described as this badass wizard Jack Bauer who caught or killed like half the Death Eaters in the first war but all we see him do is get his rear end kicked repeatedly and die. No. He gets owned by Crouch Jr. at the start of Goblet and otherwise is a non-factor. He's then a paranoid idiot at the start of OotP for comedy, gets wrecked by Bellatrix in the Department of Mysteries at the end of OotP, doesn't show up for any of HBP, and then dies in the boom chase at the start of DH without doing anything of value in the fight. He's Harry Potter's Worf.
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Dec 13, 2020 05:46
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To be fair though he's supposed to be long retired and way over the hill with a body that's been blown to poo poo and is barely holding together. It's actually kind of lovely that Dumbledore planned to drag his rear end out of retirement to teach even discounting the whole Crouch Jr. shenanigans.
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Dec 13, 2020 05:52
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Sydin posted:To be fair though he's supposed to be long retired and way over the hill with a body that's been blown to poo poo and is barely holding together. It's actually kind of lovely that Dumbledore planned to drag his rear end out of retirement to teach even discounting the whole Crouch Jr. shenanigans. I mean, teaching isn't that hard. Lockhart could do it....kind of.
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Dec 13, 2020 05:54
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I hate how Rowling bent over backwards to explain how oh, Dumbledore was just testing Lockheart and planned to expose him as a fraud before the main plot started... instead of just saying that it was one of his rare lapses in judgment to humanize him a bit.
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Dec 13, 2020 06:05
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Regalingualius posted:I hate how Rowling bent over backwards to explain how oh, Dumbledore was just testing Lockheart and planned to expose him as a fraud before the main plot started... instead of just saying that it was one of his rare lapses in judgment to humanize him a bit. Or just that the first two or three books are clearly more childish and silly.
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Dec 13, 2020 06:14
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Or that they've gone through so many staff in an obviously cursed position that they're down to the real dregs for viable candidates or anyone dumb/crazy/resigned enough to volunteer.
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Dec 13, 2020 06:24
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The defense against the dark arts situation is a tricky thing where Dumbledore maybe knows that anyone he appoints will be there for exactly one year due to the curse, and if his focus is trying to give the best set of teachers for Harry as the chosen one then he wants to blow through his lovely options early and save better guys like Lupin and Moody for a little later, then Snape is his ace in the hole who he only appoints when he has exactly one year to live. But yea obviously in reality it’s just a gag JK came up with and scrutinizing it too much reveals the cracks in her plotting (of I which there are many).
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Dec 13, 2020 06:40
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Regalingualius posted:I hate how Rowling bent over backwards to explain how oh, Dumbledore was just testing Lockheart and planned to expose him as a fraud before the main plot started... instead of just saying that it was one of his rare lapses in judgment to humanize him a bit. That sounds stupid as hell, and just makes Dumbledore sound even more of an incompetent headmaster for letting a fraud teach in the first place. Guy A. Person posted:The defense against the dark arts situation is a tricky thing where Dumbledore maybe knows that anyone he appoints will be there for exactly one year due to the curse, and if his focus is trying to give the best set of teachers for Harry as the chosen one then he wants to blow through his lovely options early and save better guys like Lupin and Moody for a little later, then Snape is his ace in the hole who he only appoints when he has exactly one year to live. I'm still annoyed at Dumbledore in HBP for telling Harry that they'd have special lessons, and then proceeding to teach him jackshit about anything practical like defensive spells or how to fight like him.
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Dec 13, 2020 10:59
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^ he also does jack poo poo when Snape completely fails to teach Harry occlumancy. Love to imagine the scene where George "Dumbledore" Smiley is talked around by Lockhart on the question of whether all the second year pupils should really have to buy his entire bibliography.
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Dec 13, 2020 11:31
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josh04 posted:^ he also does jack poo poo when Snape completely fails to teach Harry occlumancy. He probably had all 7 years buy them lol
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Dec 13, 2020 11:33
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Maybe Voldemort really would have been a better wizard king.
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Dec 13, 2020 17:41
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amigolupus posted:I'm still annoyed at Dumbledore in HBP for telling Harry that they'd have special lessons, and then proceeding to teach him jackshit about anything practical like defensive spells or how to fight like him. He was busy teaching him exposition class lol
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Dec 13, 2020 18:10
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Maybe Voldemort really would have been a better wizard king. Highly doubtful actually!
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Dec 14, 2020 03:07
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Voldemort was the original victim of cancel culture. He wouldn’t have had to do what he did if Dunbledore didn’t deplatform him by not letting him teach at Hogwarts.
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Dec 14, 2020 03:18
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VoldyWars
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Dec 14, 2020 04:40
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on a purely practical level, i have some doubts about voldemorts plan to assassinate his greatest enemy, a literal wizard who can disable an attacker in a million ways without harming them, using a kid who can barely bully another kid effectively
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Dec 14, 2020 08:39
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Hodgepodge posted:on a purely practical level, i have some doubts about voldemorts plan to assassinate his greatest enemy, a literal wizard who can disable an attacker in a million ways without harming them, using a kid who can barely bully another kid effectively Well, I was always under the impression that it was less about finding an efficient way to deal with Dumbledore and more about punishing Luscious Malfoy. Dude never could catch a break with Voldemort after basically losing a Horcrux.
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Dec 14, 2020 09:15
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Mistaken Identity posted:Well, I was always under the impression that it was less about finding an efficient way to deal with Dumbledore and more about punishing Luscious Malfoy. Dude never could catch a break with Voldemort after basically losing a Horcrux. oh, it was, but that doesn't make it a good plan to neutralize an enemy leader
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Dec 14, 2020 09:17
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The actual plan to kill Dumbledore was the vanishing cabinet assault, I think. There was no real expectation that Draco would actually kill Dumbledore himself, that was just twisting the knife on Lucius. The important thing was the cabinet being repaired.
MikeJF fucked around with this message at 10:54 on Dec 14, 2020 |
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Dec 14, 2020 10:50
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Voldemort liked to have a multitude of unlikely plans going on at once. He was like a bad plan connoisseur.
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Dec 14, 2020 11:13
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ahahahahaha the title
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Dec 14, 2020 12:37
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It’s pretty fantastic that most of Draco’s zingers (other than the racial slurs and calls for genocide) are like “Ohhhh Potter, you’re so famous and well-liked! What a quidditch prodigy!”
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Dec 14, 2020 13:37
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I love that Draco is a miniature high-society toff who obsessively tracks Potter's press clippings. He's like a malevolent child theatre critic delighting in giving him bad reviews.
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Dec 14, 2020 14:04
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This is literally just the English upper class.
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Dec 14, 2020 14:18
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It's pretty hosed up that Dumbledore waited until the school year's mostly over and Draco had him dead to rights before he said, "Yo kid, I know Voldemort's forcing you to try and kill me, but I know you're scared so we can just hide you and your parents in a safe place." Going by how he's described as withdrawn and pale throughout the book, Draco's been going through constant mental breakdowns, which Dumbledore could have prevented at any time. Dumbledore is also a massive idiot for telling Draco that his attempts to murder him were pitiful. It was only pure luck that Harry had some Bezoar to save Ron from poison, or that one of the Gryffindor quidditch players didn't die from touching the cursed jewel that kills whoever touches it.
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Dec 14, 2020 14:51
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cursed jewels that kill whoever touch them just sitting around to be used in some convoluted plot. all this bs is exactly why one of your first ninth level spells always has to be mordenkainen's disjunction. cleaning up every other wizard's messes! 
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Dec 14, 2020 15:34
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Regalingualius posted:I hate how Rowling bent over backwards to explain how oh, Dumbledore was just testing Lockheart and planned to expose him as a fraud before the main plot started... instead of just saying that it was one of his rare lapses in judgment to humanize him a bit. I thought the books made it quite clear that Lockheart got the job because he's literally the only person who wanted it that year.
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Dec 14, 2020 15:45
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amigolupus posted:It's pretty hosed up that Dumbledore waited until the school year's mostly over and Draco had him dead to rights before he said, "Yo kid, I know Voldemort's forcing you to try and kill me, but I know you're scared so we can just hide you and your parents in a safe place." Going by how he's described as withdrawn and pale throughout the book, Draco's been going through constant mental breakdowns, which Dumbledore could have prevented at any time. To be fair, he's justifiably concerned that Voldemort is just waiting for an excuse to kill him as soon as he suspects something's up. He likely also knows that Dumbledore would try to help him if he found out so all it would take is a hint Dumbledore even knows about the plot. It's nowhere near a given that Malfoy would accept an offer of help earlier either.
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Dec 14, 2020 16:25
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Zesty posted:I thought the books made it quite clear that Lockheart got the job because he's literally the only person who wanted it that year. Though since we didn’t know about the position being cursed yet, that could have just raised questions about why Dumbledore didn’t just roll up his sleeves and teach it himself, if the only alternative was the guy who was basically just as counterproductive as the actual Death Eaters.
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Dec 14, 2020 18:29
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Dumbledore was apparently also aware that teaching it was a 50% chance of a death sentence for the teacher.
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Dec 14, 2020 18:53
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Draco also repeatedly had breakdowns talking to his only confidant, Moaning Myrtle, who died after being bullied for wearing glasses and getting basilisk'd by Tom Riddle, so maybe coaching her to be a school therapist/spy might be beneficial. "Here's the deal, Myrtle. You get the information, and the minister is authorizing a full pardon and release from the toilets. You have 72 hours. You gently caress this up and I'll have you haunting Hagrid's outhouse for eternity, you got it?!"
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Dec 14, 2020 19:12
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"Yes Harry, I knew that from the day I denied it to Voldemort: the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was cursed." "Wait, you knew? The whole time?! And you put Lupin - one of my dad's best friends and a trusted member of the order who was already dealing with lycanthropy - in the post regardless?" "Yes, but Harry-" "And what about Quirrell? You didn't know he was carrying Voldemort around on the back of his head when you hired him right? So you thought he was just some guy? Did you tell him about the curse when pitching the job?" "Well, no-" "Then there's Moody. Was that your idea of a nice retirement? To put him in the crosshairs of a curse when he's already spent his entire life fighting dark magic? "Technically he offered-" "Oh well, at least you finally gave it to Snape this year. Can't wait to see how the curse turns out for that rear end in a top hat." "...."
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Dec 14, 2020 19:20
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josh04 posted:Dumbledore was apparently also aware that teaching it was a 50% chance of a death sentence for the teacher. Didn't only one guy out of the six die?
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Dec 14, 2020 19:31
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Quirrel dies in office, Lockhart is merely maimed, and Moody and Snape die within two years of leaving the post. Crouch Jr dies in office but it's unclear if he counts, Slughorn and Lupin are fine.
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Dec 14, 2020 19:37
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Year one: killed by Harry Potter Year two: brain fried by Harry Potter Year three: died offscreen for Harry Potter Year four: both brain fried by AND died offscreen for Harry Potter Year five: extremely problematic comeuppance perpetrated by Harry Potter Year six: died onscreen for Harry Potter
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Dec 14, 2020 19:37
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So that's four dead total out of six, but only two of those deaths were in proximity to them actually holding the teaching gig.
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Dec 14, 2020 19:38
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