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So this here's a penis caterpillar. Like it's a bit of a stretch to envision it as a penis, but its species is named Priapulin, which sounds like Priapus, the greek god whose only notable characteristic is having a big dick and has various medical conditions regarding erections named after him. Wookieepedia tries to glaze over that and note that there's a real type of worm with the scientific name of Priapulida, but the common name for it is the "Penis Worm" so one way or another, dicks are involved. But anyways, what's weird about these guys beyond being semiaquatic caterpillars is what they eat. I know that he looks chill with that cup full of tentacles, but that is a living, sentient creature called a Crast. Priapulins call crasts "food-kin" because they have a symbiotic relationship where they eat the crast and incubate its eggs to give birth to later. It's weird. I think that's a couple fetishes. But what's weirder is that if you zoom out further, this species has really only appeared in one proper story that I actually read as a kid, and I barely remember it, but the one priapulin character's just like a bus driver who fucks off after he got the main characters where they needed to go. There wasn't any of this food-kin stuff. But I do remember the Essential Guide to Species entry for these guys, so I can't figure whether the guide to species came up with all the weird stuff or if maybe the original author just wrote down some weird notes about them.
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Dec 22, 2020 21:29
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SlothfulCobra posted:So this here's a penis caterpillar. Looking at the wiki, it appears the culprit is probably West End Games Star Wars Gamers magazine, which ran various random lore dumps for people running star wars games and is usually to blame when there is weird or dumb or bad lore that isn't coming straight for the source (<3 them bad books). It looks like they got two articles to build some world around them.
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Dec 23, 2020 08:24
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remember that time luke decided it would be a great idea to establish his jedi temple in a bunch of sith pyramids haunted by a spooky sith ghost, then kept it there for like decades i'm sure nothing bad could happen
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Dec 28, 2020 04:29
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Unlimited planets throughout the galaxy and Luke sets up his praxeum on an old rebel base where within, like, walking distance is the tomb of the undead baddest sith lord that ever lived, and everybody’s just kind of ok with this
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Dec 28, 2020 04:38
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That building was later removed to make way for a Zerg spawning pool
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Dec 28, 2020 04:52
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I thought it was such an ancient temple that nobody knew who built it or what it was for until ghosts started popping up. Although to be honest, Luke probably should've moved the academy after they found that ancient slumbering Jedi master chinchilla guarding an orb filled with the damned souls of children. Although after the temple got destroyed, Luke wound up stashing his younglings in a place where they could be influenced by an even more ancient and powerful evil god. Maybe there's some kind of subconscious magnetic force going on or something. Or maybe Luke was choosing places where there was some kind of force interference that could mask their presence without investigating the source of the signal.
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Dec 28, 2020 05:38
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I imagine Luke's thought process in establishing his school on the moon of Yavin didn't really extend beyond, "jungle = lots of living poo poo = strong in the Force," and if we're being charitable, "it's the old Rebel base where we launched the mission to destroy the first Death Star from," so nostalgia's a factor.
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Dec 28, 2020 06:21
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Even if you DON'T know what it is, if force training is so goddamn sensitive to things like this maybe just... Don't. I mean yes there are an infinite other number of completely empty planets out there but this might JUST be a pet cemetery so just ignore the oblisques on the horizon while training. Hey. Look at me. The point would also be: hey if the force reacts to lots of living things I wonder what it does to massive unknown glyphs dedicated to the unguessable in our hearts. And Luke should have pondered that. Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 12:20 on Dec 28, 2020 |
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Dec 28, 2020 12:18
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The thing is, I'm not sure that's true. Every planet has got history, at some point in the last several thousand years bad poo poo went down on any given world. If you find the inhabitable planet that never had a dark lord in residence that's a special day in the Star Wars universe.
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Dec 28, 2020 13:30
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Servetus posted:The thing is, I'm not sure that's true. Every planet has got history, at some point in the last several thousand years bad poo poo went down on any given world. If you find the inhabitable planet that never had a dark lord in residence that's a special day in the Star Wars universe. Hoth may not be inhabitable but wookiepedia lists it as 100% clear of sith lord temples.
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Dec 28, 2020 13:35
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reignofevil posted:Hoth may not be inhabitable but wookiepedia lists it as 100% clear of sith lord temples. Wampa attacks: somewhat of a problem https://i.imgur.com/RznB0qR.mp4
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Dec 28, 2020 16:05
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SlothfulCobra posted:I thought it was such an ancient temple that nobody knew who built it or what it was for until ghosts started popping up. Although to be honest, Luke probably should've moved the academy after they found that ancient slumbering Jedi master chinchilla guarding an orb filled with the damned souls of children. I'm almost certain there was a reason given in the KJA Jedi Academy trilogy for why he picked Yavin IV, but I can't remember it. Energy spiders, horny concubine frogs, and a device that detects the force if you point it at someone the right way? poo poo's burned into my brain.
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Dec 28, 2020 16:38
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Hazo posted:Unlimited planets throughout the galaxy and Luke sets up his praxeum on an old rebel base where within, like, walking distance is the tomb of the undead baddest sith lord that ever lived, and everybody’s just kind of ok with this I could very easily be convinced that Star Wars, as a universe, has a tighter real estate market than New York. People will mumble stuff about millions of stars and poo poo and then they keep going to the same like five locations and all you ever see is either desert or the size of a small suburb. Extremely claustrophobic.
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Dec 28, 2020 18:04
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A swear phrase that you can say to yourself if you are frustrated or embarrassed is “Vaping Moffs!”
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Dec 28, 2020 20:37
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skasion posted:A swear phrase that you can say to yourself if you are frustrated or embarrassed is “Vaping Moffs!” drat. no one ever told me the mofference was dank
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Dec 29, 2020 09:16
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Tulip posted:I could very easily be convinced that Star Wars, as a universe, has a tighter real estate market than New York. People will mumble stuff about millions of stars and poo poo and then they keep going to the same like five locations and all you ever see is either desert or the size of a small suburb. Extremely claustrophobic. Every planet has a single biome and one underpopulated city, so it's more like every planet is just a backwater village in the middle of the same economic depression going on in the entire galaxy.
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Dec 29, 2020 11:32
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Sodomy Hussein posted:Every planet has a single biome and one underpopulated city, so it's more like every planet is just a backwater village in the middle of the same economic depression going on in the entire galaxy. I mean, given that their ridiculous spaceship tech makes anywhere in the galaxy maybe a couple weeks away from anywhere else, if you could just spread out and claim a significant percentage of a PLANET rather than cramming yourself in with a couple billion chumps on just one, why wouldn't you?
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Dec 29, 2020 17:39
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it's hard to find a habitable planet that doesn't suck. everywhere you go you end up running into sith ruins, or bugs that eat people and then shapeshift into their form, or giant cubes of meat covered in gold. if you don't run into any of those things, then somebody probably got there first and they might not like you very much. people stick to coruscant, corellia, etc. because at least the only danger is from other people not to mention that a solid 25% or so of the known galaxy is under libertarian administration as part of the corporate sector
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Dec 29, 2020 17:48
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Asterite34 posted:I mean, given that their ridiculous spaceship tech makes anywhere in the galaxy maybe a couple weeks away from anywhere else, if you could just spread out and claim a significant percentage of a PLANET rather than cramming yourself in with a couple billion chumps on just one, why wouldn't you? Something that rules about star wars is how fast things are. This is the distance traveled in ep 1 by Darth Maul in 9 hours:  Which I measured at 48% as long as the top-bottom diameter of the galaxy. The Star Wars galaxy, to my knowledge, is 110,000 light years diameter, so we're talking 53,000 ish light years over 9 hours, or close on 6000 light years per hour. Now, was Maul's vehicle particularly fast? I mean probably. But also strategic speeds seem to be something that go up with speed and he was in a tiny rear end little ship so maybe larger ships are faster? Maybe by the time of the main episodes hyperdrives were even better. In any event, the longest distance in star wars can be done in one day and that is very, very funny to me.
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Dec 29, 2020 18:35
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makes you wonder why there's so much unknown space in the top left there, if anyone could just pop there and back in a day
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Dec 29, 2020 18:56
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Tulip posted:Something that rules about star wars is how fast things are. This is the distance traveled in ep 1 by Darth Maul in 9 hours: I feel like this is more an example of got_season_8_travel.txt than an explanation of how space travel works in Star Wars, which is always extremely fudgy anyway, even by soft sci fi standards.
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Dec 29, 2020 20:58
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Sodomy Hussein posted:I feel like this is more an example of got_season_8_travel.txt than an explanation of how space travel works in Star Wars, which is always extremely fudgy anyway, even by soft sci fi standards. AFAIK the 'official' word on star wars speeds is that "characters get to the plot when they're needed." It's fun to do a little napkin math on the text in the thread for silly microanalysis of star wars periphery but it's not like, going to reveal a lot about the real meat of Star Wars.
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Dec 29, 2020 21:28
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Cerv posted:makes you wonder why there's so much unknown space in the top left there, if anyone could just pop there and back in a day they can't. travel is only that fast on the major hyperlanes. it's just that tatooine is a backwater because it's a total shithole, not because it's in the middle of nowhere; it's right off the primary lane from the core to the southern outer rim. navigating the unknown parts of the galaxy is dangerous poo poo that only professionals and jedi do because you have to either stop and scan every so often to make sure you're not going to hit an uncharted black hole or something, or just trust in the force to guide you past all that poo poo. charting the galaxy is one of the only noticeable ways that the galaxy "progresses" in star wars.
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Dec 29, 2020 21:36
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There's a lot of space debris that will instantly destroy your ship if you come into contact with it while in hyperspace, so it's really complicated to scout out a path to a place with no junk in the way at all. Hyperspace engines also have a lot of complicated safeguards that are supposed to be very hard to disable because if you do disable them, horrible, horrible things happen. There's also a whole thing where a whole bunch of calculations have to be done to do a jump that I think astromech droids are supposed to do, but bigger ships can just do them on the ship computer. The essential guide to droids used the amount of hyperspace coordinates a droid could store in their memory as some kind of a benchmark. If you try doing an attack with only one set of coordinates stored, I hope you have another ride home, or else you're going to be stuck there until you can recalculate your way back.
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Dec 30, 2020 04:30
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It's worth noting that the above map was only created in 2009, and that the first attempts at a real galaxy map only started showing up a decade prior with the New Jedi Order books. There were some regional maps of things like the Corporate Sector and whatnot before that, and I think some games and other stuff did as well, but it wasn't until well into the EU that people started seriously trying to keep all that in order (Or rearranging it to fit whatever people wanted). That said, and keeping on the subject of hyperspace and stuff, the old books often make mention of trips taking more than a hours, or on some occasions even days. Offhand, I remember the first trip Thrawn and the Chimaera took to Wayland is said to take four or five days, with the speed and distance covered mentioned but Zahn noted his system for that stuff got replaced years later. One thing that comes up elsewhere, I think in some of the X-wing books, is some missions were taking like 24 hours mostly in hyperspace because they'd literally go halfway across the galaxy out of their way making different jumps to obscure where they originated from. Or the reverse happens and an attack force would leave a system on the wrong vector, only for the jump to be a short one followed by several more not necessarily direct trips through hyperspace to get back to their base.
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Dec 30, 2020 05:01
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Ten million probe droids can't be wrong!
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Dec 30, 2020 05:14
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Lando Calrissian built an army of genocidal terminators who went into battle shouting a war cry of ethnoreligious supremacy over their enemies
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Dec 31, 2020 22:35
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skasion posted:Lando Calrissian built an army of genocidal terminators who went into battle shouting a war cry of ethnoreligious supremacy over their enemies Was that before or after he was a puppet mouthpiece for a Libertarian author who had mediocre "adventures" in between rants about how terrible government is?
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Dec 31, 2020 23:20
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I watched some of Solo for the first time today and holy loving hell every single person who complained about the film being too dark was 100% justified.
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Dec 31, 2020 23:43
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Lemniscate Blue posted:Was that before or after he was a puppet mouthpiece for a Libertarian author who had mediocre "adventures" in between rants about how terrible government is? This was in the Vong books
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Dec 31, 2020 23:54
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Lemniscate Blue posted:Was that before or after he was a puppet mouthpiece for a Libertarian author who had mediocre "adventures" in between rants about how terrible government is? Just about everything is after Libertarian Lando, that’s one of the very oldest Star Wars books. Lando the self-entitled douchebag libertarian gambler constantly talking his way into deep poo poo is ironically an amazing premise.
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Jan 1, 2021 00:35
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I never read the early Lando books, but the 90s books where Lando shows up, he makes a point of saying how much of a piece of poo poo he was before he gambled his way into owning Cloud City, and how he really got his act together once there were people depending on him. There is that kind of dynamic in the movie where Lando sells out his buddy for the sake of the city, and then in the next movie he's some kind of high-level commanding officer in the Rebellion, while Han was never really anything but an unreliable contractor, sticking around because he kinda cares, but also constantly complaining and threatening to leave.
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Jan 8, 2021 19:16
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Lando always struck me as a good guy in an impossible position and even though Han got majorly hosed over Lando took responsibility and went back to rescue his friend even though it was an incredibly dangerous and stupid idea. A good friend.
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Jan 8, 2021 20:01
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I think having a problem with Lando is a thing more among people who had to wait the three years between Empire and Jedi, rather than just popping the next one in the VCR. Yeah, he goes back and tries to fix things, but still the end of the movie is this new guy betraying our pals from the Star War
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Jan 9, 2021 01:20
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I got reminded of Centerpoint Station today and man oh man is it a loving trip. Built by the bugnest orgy bugs to move, uh, planets for some reason. Also a giant gun. also people live in the giant gun.
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Jan 17, 2021 20:17
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A significant portion of the galaxy's population living in giant guns fits in pretty well with what I know about star wars and explains the low population density of a lot of worlds.
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Jan 28, 2021 21:46
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hey, it's me, thrackan sal-solo. i'm han solo's evil cousin and i love the giant gun so much i tried to use it constantly for 20 years until they finally killed me
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Jan 28, 2021 23:25
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Han Solo’s evil cousin who looks exactly like Han Solo with a mustache
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Jan 28, 2021 23:28
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skasion posted:Han Solo’s evil cousin who looks exactly like Han Solo with a mustache Isn't that just Burt Reynolds?
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Jan 29, 2021 00:39
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It’s Richard Kimble in happier times
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Jan 29, 2021 00:45
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