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BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country

Arc Light posted:

I'm heading into the mountains tomorrow morning for a couple of days of camping. I took one last look at my front door, and what did I discover?

A box addressed to my Secret Satan nom de plume filled with an abundance of camping snacks, that's what. Beef jerky and Nut Goodies galore!



I'd actually never heard of Nut Goodie before, and was vaguely apprehensive before I tried a pack.


Turns out they're absolutely delicious, and I'm going to have to ration them so they don't all disappear this week.

Sent through Amazon, with no return address, so the sender is a mystery.

Thanks, Satan!

That was me man, Merry Christmas!

No return address?

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BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country
And yes the Nut Goodie is a hidden gem of maple nougat and chocolate peanuts

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Naked Bear - you are amazing. I'm occupied and cannot post all the pictures, but Naked Bear sent a box with artisinal beers, ensure, and shittons of snacks and jerky and such along with some deathwish coffee. I'm drinking some 12% abv YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE BABY imperial ale right now.

I do want to note that you sent this for my pops and me. He's in Texas, though. I'm about to share with him all you sent, and I'll keep the spirit alive when its safe for me to go see him in Texas again. Ironically, a friend of him got him some deathwish coffee so he's got some, too!


Seriously, I can't thank you enough. I picked up the box and was surprised at the heft. You're amazing!!

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?
I love you all sometimes

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM

Stuff for my Santee is starting to trickle in. Will be packaging and sending out within the next few days; hopefully USPS and other shippers are gradually returning to normal.

stinkypete
Nov 27, 2007
wow

Duzzy Funlop posted:

I love you all sometimes

Why not all the time? I love you

stinkypete
Nov 27, 2007
wow

Stay alive I really do love all of you Goons! Nothing better than a bunch of middle aged dudes or gals having a good time. It is nice we can talk here. I still Love you All!

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007

Grimey Drawer

Tiny posted:

Slim Pickens, this is absolutely going up on the wall. Thank you!



Bodi is quite a fan of the beef tripe snacks. You can see how much it's killing him waiting for me to say 'ok' so he can have the one on the floor.

The people-snacks look good too, though habanero cucumber sounds a bit suspect :)

Hell yeah, glad you like the decoration. Takis are good, hoping the zombie flavor is good. Never had the chocolate puffs, but they looked good on the shelf :)

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
Enjoy, dude!

Duzzy Funlop posted:

I love you all sometimes
From time to time. :)

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Naked Bear posted:

Enjoy, dude!

From time to time. :)

I am. I shared everything the news of the delivery with my dad on the phone and he thought it was all awesome. His coffee is in k-cups, though.

Wroughtirony
May 14, 2007



Got my SS package out yesterday. If you're a CO goon who hasn't gotten a package yet, do not fear.

Hekk
Oct 12, 2012

'smeper fi

I had a package from Arishtat at my front door. Looks like I have my retirement beard already grown, a kick rear end shirt to wear, and a space robot to add to my collection of anime things (even though I keep denying knowing anything about anime).

Super cool presents. This shirt is very cool. Thanks much!

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?
I'm being told that goons were unable to properly personalize their Secret Santa gifts because their recipient's forum name wasn't included in the email they got.

lol good job twofing

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





McNally posted:

I'm being told that goons were unable to properly personalize their Secret Santa gifts because their recipient's forum name wasn't included in the email they got.

lol good job twofing

I sent out the information I was given, and since I spent about 4 hours on it I wasn't going to spend more time trying to match up names to usernames.
Feel free to take over next time if you'd like to do better.

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Which, by the way, i mentioned in the thread at the time. If you're trying to piss me off, you've succeeded.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM

Thanks for gracing us with your presence, absentee forums daddy

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Which, by the way, i mentioned in the thread at the time. If you're trying to piss me off, you've succeeded.

Sorry. There were a couple mentions in the Discord about this and since I wasn't participating in the Secret Santa this year, I haven't been following the thread. You do bust your rear end off running this and I really shouldn't have said anything.

pantslesswithwolves posted:

Thanks for gracing us with your presence, absentee forums daddy

You're welcome for noticing my conspicuous absence in the thread devoted to that one time of the year that most reminds me of my wife's death.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

TF has been running this show for several years now and he's a saint who KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE :tinfoil:

Tiny
Oct 26, 2003
My leg hurts....

McNally posted:

I'm being told that goons were unable to properly personalize their Secret Santa gifts because their recipient's forum name wasn't included in the email they got.

lol good job twofing

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Wait, who actually cares about this?

McNally posted:

Sorry. There were a couple mentions in the Discord about this and since I wasn't participating in the Secret Santa this year, I haven't been following the thread. You do bust your rear end off running this and I really shouldn't have said anything.


You're welcome for noticing my conspicuous absence in the thread devoted to that one time of the year that most reminds me of my wife's death.

Jesus gently caress, I knew about your wife, but I didn't know it happened around this time of year. "Sorry" doesn't even begin to cut it.

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?
Godholio, you made my goddamn day, and kept this NYE from ending on a very unspectacular and sad note.

A manly soap, a dope coffee mug that actually holds the correct amount of fluid for a double (as opposed to any of the previous mugs I've owned), AND A loving POOP KNIFE.
Finally, I won't have to lie when the federal police show up at my door routinely to check whether my household is "properly equipped".


What amplified how much fun this was for me was the following:
I was on Skype with the first of my three favorite Koreans as the doorbell rang and the package got delivered, so I did a ~~live unboxing~~, very much to the amusement and confusion of my friend whom I tried to explain "what a poop knife is" to.



The situation repeated itself when the rest of my Koreans joined in and I got to "explain" it again after the first one said "at least it's better than cutting poop" the very second the third one joined without any context and greeted us while the second one was still trying to figure out what the gently caress.



Hilarity ensued and my Secret Satan gift ended up being a recurring reference for the rest of the call.
One of my Koreans retained the complete inability of wrapping her head around "the mechanics of a poop knife" for the entirety of the two hour call, and having wine and Soju did not develop her reasoning skills at all.

But hold on...what's this?


Do you want to tell me what these are, or should I just plant the fuckers and see what happens?

Bonus pic of my mother asking what the gently caress a poop knife is and why some random yank is sending me ~drugs~ strapped to the back of a block of soap.


In any case, thank you so much for this, you brought a genuine loving smile to my face and an hour of constant loving laughter in this lovely timeline of ours.

/edit:
I just called my parents before the New Year, and me and my old man - knowing what the gently caress was up - just spent 15 minutes gaslighting my mom into losing her grip on reality over the supposed cultural acceptance of the poop knife, that apparently evaded her for 78 years, before she finally caught on.
Good times were had by all.

Good.

loving.

Times.

Duzzy Funlop fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Dec 31, 2020

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
:lol:

There was supposed to be a note but I managed to leave it on the printer for several days after shipping. The seeds are, allegedly, for Trinidad Chocolate 7 Pot Douglah peppers. I don't know poo poo about peppers but you've already planted the hot ones I'd heard of. A couple of the reviews suggested the quality control might not be the best at making sure the right type seeds are in the right packet, so good luck.

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Godholio posted:

:lol:

There was supposed to be a note but I managed to leave it on the printer for several days after shipping. The seeds are, allegedly, for Trinidad Chocolate 7 Pot Douglah peppers. I don't know poo poo about peppers but you've already planted the hot ones I'd heard of. A couple of the reviews suggested the quality control might not be the best at making sure the right type seeds are in the right packet, so good luck.

Despite the mere numbers saying I've been growing more potent peppers by SHU, I'm quite glad you pulled out all the stops and went for the strain of peppers that is considered the most painful on the planet. I'm softening up 5 of the seeds and planting them tomorrow.
I'll keep at least one of them and I'll hand off the rest to willing colleagues and the BMW-chili-forum, so congrats on inconveniencing a bunch of deutschbags by surprise around May of 2021.

:yaycloud:

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
I look forward to those updates. Hopefully they grow.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Since it'll never see the light of day, I guess I'll tell y'all what I tried to sent Naked Bear:

1) Ulysses S. Grant bobblehead
2) Five or six mini-bottles of lovely flavored alcohol.
3) Package of 10mm sockets.
4) A 2021 Coronado calendar that I somehow received in the mail despite not living there since I was a teenage Navy brat.
5) Nude photo of Adrienne Barbeau.

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Godholio posted:

I look forward to those updates. Hopefully they grow.

Partly double-planted 8 seeds today in my peat pods, I'd be surprised if I bring fewer than 4 of them to full growth. :)

Duzzy Funlop fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Jan 1, 2021

Ataxerxes
Dec 2, 2011

What is a soldier but a miserable pile of eaten cats and strange language?
An update, my package is expected to be deliver on 5th January, says the USPS website. It has been released for delivery by the US customs.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

3) Package of 10mm sockets.
Aw, dang. That's funny and really useful! I appreciate it just the same.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Naked Bear posted:

Aw, dang. That's funny and really useful! I appreciate it just the same.

In retrospect, this particular decision obviously ensured it would never arrive.

Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013



My santee's gift had an expected delivery date of 21 December.

Instead, it bounced from Colorado to two locations in California, then back to Colorado, and has now left Colorado for the second time and is sitting in Nevada.

For the amount that this box has surely been thrown around, I feel like I should probably have added a bit more padding.

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

In retrospect, this particular decision obviously ensured it would never arrive.

Yeah that's a cursed package

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?
I saw a post on Reddit at r/usps_complaints saying if you put in the Konami Code on your package tracking page you'll get an update within a day.

I tried it. It works. A package I'm tracking that hasn't moved in five days got an update about five hours after I tried it.

Took five days for USPS to move my package another 80 minutes down the road.

stinkypete
Nov 27, 2007
wow

Arc Light posted:

My santee's gift had an expected delivery date of 21 December.

Instead, it bounced from Colorado to two locations in California, then back to Colorado, and has now left Colorado for the second time and is sitting in Nevada.

For the amount that this box has surely been thrown around, I feel like I should probably have added a bit more padding.



I sent a Package through Reno just to watch it Die!

ElMaligno
Dec 31, 2004

Be Gay!
Do Crime!

Frozen Vent: I sent my package almost two weeks ago and the last update i had from it was from the 22December and it was leaving the international distribution hub in SF the 22 of december.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

ElMaligno posted:

Frozen Vent: I sent my package almost two weeks ago and the last update i had from it was from the 22December and it was leaving the international distribution hub in SF the 22 of december.

No worries, all the packages are getting hosed this year, mine was supposed to get to Slim Pickens on the 24th and it’s “TRANSFERRED TO DESTINATION COUNTRY” since December 20th

Wroughtirony
May 14, 2007



My package is shown as having been delivered on the 2nd. If you were my Santee, let me know so that I can be sure you got it and not the porch pirates.

Ataxerxes
Dec 2, 2011

What is a soldier but a miserable pile of eaten cats and strange language?
Also, I have received nothing so far. My package should arrive tomorrow (5th).

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Normally I would be chasing up stragglers at this point, but this year has been far from normal. I'll give it to the end of the month before I start looking into it.

bengy81
May 8, 2010
Just opened mine. Holy Cow!!!
I'll post a trip report with pics in a little while, have to finish some work stuff. One of the most thoughtful things I've ever opened from a random person I've never interacted with.


Also my Santee should receive theirs today, it said it was our for delivery this morning. Dear God I hope it isn't a mess, if it is let me know and I'll make it right.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

bengy81 posted:

Just opened mine. Holy Cow!!!
I'll post a trip report with pics in a little while, have to finish some work stuff. One of the most thoughtful things I've ever opened from a random person I've never interacted with.


Also my Santee should receive theirs today, it said it was our for delivery this morning. Dear God I hope it isn't a mess, if it is let me know and I'll make it right.

If it's me, it survived and it's awesome and if I didn't have to leave for work in a few minutes I'd be diving in. Pics were taken, will be posted after work.

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bengy81
May 8, 2010

Godholio posted:

If it's me, it survived and it's awesome and if I didn't have to leave for work in a few minutes I'd be diving in. Pics were taken, will be posted after work.

Yay, good to hear. I won't spoil anything until you post pics, but the one thing is my three favorite things that place has to offer.

Anyhow, on to my package, I received a box from Wroughtirony, and as stated above its pretty amazing.

I would like to note that my wife made me open it outside, it was bulging and she was afraid of a glitter bomb, she was relieved/disappointed that it turned out not to be the case.


This shirt rules, and I'm going to embarrass the gently caress out of my kids by wearing it in public.

This is the rest:



The jar is some badass looking hot honey, infused with smoked ghost pepper, naga vipers and carolina reapers. I'm super stoked to try it, it apparently sat in our mailbox for a day or two, because its frozen to the lid, but I'll let you know if it makes me cry as soon as it warms up a little.
There is also a chunk of beef jerky, a 2020 Christmas ornament, a very aggresive Japanese wash cloth, and a Nerds Rope with a warning about eating the whole thing at once :thunk:. Definitely gonna try some before I go out longboarding again.

Thanks a ton Satan!!!

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