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beer pal

pretty good banana today. maybe just slightly underripe - texture pretty good but a bit of a starchy mouthfeel. flavour a little bland. tomorrow's banana should be right in the sweet spot

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nut

sounds a lot like beer pal's banana review tbqh

mailorder bees

FLUFFERNUTTER
maybe there'll be more fruit later?


thanks Manifisto!

beer pal

just u wait til mid afternoon

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
banana is a fruit that resembles a penis

mailorder bees

FLUFFERNUTTER
:wth: can you say that on the internet


thanks Manifisto!

Heather Papps

hello friend


beer pal posted:

just u wait til mid afternoon

:f5:



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

beer pal

Bartlett pear, a little on the small side, and a bit of impact damage in one spot. Texture was optimal - very good crunch. Flavour a bit mild, but as any fruit eater will know there's a tradeoff to be had wrt ripeness between firm texture and flavour intensity. there's a lot of controversy on this point, but personally I put greater value on good texture

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

FutonForensic

this guy knows what they're talking about. pear texture is everything. wisdom


nut

me and the other judges have decided that it is now oka to call it a fruit review

your friend sk

(ヤイケス!)


thanks beer pal

frump truck

hello... again!

where is fruit pal to do some beer reviews

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
it doesn't feel right unless there's a lengthy preamble about your experiences with the fruit as a child, maybe a story about your family or some information about how the fruit was procured before you get to the actual fruit review. At least that's what I've learned from online recipes and reviews.

Heather Papps

hello friend


sk posted:

thanks beer pal



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

beer pal

luvcow's fruit review review

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
I remember as a small child when my neighbor, billy atton, fell from old Mr. brown's apple tree. we'd been stealing apples, as we often did during those halcyon days of our youth, and then eating them behind his barn where years later I'd have my first kiss with molly boehler. from inside the barn we'd hear the hems and jaws of the milk donkeys intermittently broken by the crunching of the crisp McIntosh apples we'd just pilfered, and as the juice dropped down our faces we'd chuckle at our shenanigans feeling like we were tiny robin hoods and will Scarlett's liberating treasures from the wicked king Jon. it was that day that billy fell, his arm torn open by his tibia, blood soaking into the lush green grass beneath him, that I grew to fear farmers and their wrath, as he lay shrieking in pain and terror old farmer brown came racing from his house with a pitchfork and chased us off, and then viciously stabbed poor Billy over and over again until he was spread about the field like shredded pork. we ran home and cried ourselves to sleep, little tommy Johnson never spoke again, his last sound being the shouts at the old man to stop evicerating our friend. Years later they found several corpses buried in the brown's pasturesand it became apparent that Billy wasn't the first or the last child that the farmer had murdered. whenever I bite into an apple these memories come flooding back, haunting me and forcing me to relive the terror yet again.

the apple I have now is from stop and shop, it was $.79 and has a nice heft to it as I raise it to my mouth. tasty but not too sweet I give this apple a 8/10 on my fruit scale which means I would recommend it.

blaise rascal

"Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

Luvcow posted:

I remember as a small child when my neighbor, billy atton, fell from old Mr. brown's apple tree. we'd been stealing apples, as we often did during those halcyon days of our youth, and then eating them behind his barn where years later I'd have my first kiss with molly boehler. from inside the barn we'd hear the hems and jaws of the milk donkeys intermittently broken by the crunching of the crisp McIntosh apples we'd just pilfered, and as the juice dropped down our faces we'd chuckle at our shenanigans feeling like we were tiny robin hoods and will Scarlett's liberating treasures from the wicked king Jon. it was that day that billy fell, his arm torn open by his tibia, blood soaking into the lush green grass beneath him, that I grew to fear farmers and their wrath, as he lay shrieking in pain and terror old farmer brown came racing from his house with a pitchfork and chased us off, and then viciously stabbed poor Billy over and over again until he was spread about the field like shredded pork. we ran home and cried ourselves to sleep, little tommy Johnson never spoke again, his last sound being the shouts at the old man to stop evicerating our friend. Years later they found several corpses buried in the brown's pasturesand it became apparent that Billy wasn't the first or the last child that the farmer had murdered. whenever I bite into an apple these memories come flooding back, haunting me and forcing me to relive the terror yet again.

the apple I have now is from stop and shop, it was $.79 and has a nice heft to it as I raise it to my mouth. tasty but not too sweet I give this apple a 8/10 on my fruit scale which means I would recommend it.
lmbo


ty vanisher, ty khanstant

Manifisto


Luvcow posted:

I remember as a small child when my neighbor, billy atton, fell from old Mr. brown's apple tree. we'd been stealing apples, as we often did during those halcyon days of our youth, and then eating them behind his barn where years later I'd have my first kiss with molly boehler. from inside the barn we'd hear the hems and jaws of the milk donkeys intermittently broken by the crunching of the crisp McIntosh apples we'd just pilfered, and as the juice dropped down our faces we'd chuckle at our shenanigans feeling like we were tiny robin hoods and will Scarlett's liberating treasures from the wicked king Jon. it was that day that billy fell, his arm torn open by his tibia, blood soaking into the lush green grass beneath him, that I grew to fear farmers and their wrath, as he lay shrieking in pain and terror old farmer brown came racing from his house with a pitchfork and chased us off, and then viciously stabbed poor Billy over and over again until he was spread about the field like shredded pork. we ran home and cried ourselves to sleep, little tommy Johnson never spoke again, his last sound being the shouts at the old man to stop evicerating our friend. Years later they found several corpses buried in the brown's pasturesand it became apparent that Billy wasn't the first or the last child that the farmer had murdered. whenever I bite into an apple these memories come flooding back, haunting me and forcing me to relive the terror yet again.

the apple I have now is from stop and shop, it was $.79 and has a nice heft to it as I raise it to my mouth. tasty but not too sweet I give this apple a 8/10 on my fruit scale which means I would recommend it.

holy lol


ty nesamdoom!

beer pal

just had a couple mandarin oranges. both pretty average I'd say, more on the tart side than sweet. segments fairly juicy but not the most plump I've ever had

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

Luvcow posted:

I remember as a small child when my neighbor, billy atton, fell from old Mr. brown's apple tree. we'd been stealing apples, as we often did during those halcyon days of our youth, and then eating them behind his barn where years later I'd have my first kiss with molly boehler. from inside the barn we'd hear the hems and jaws of the milk donkeys intermittently broken by the crunching of the crisp McIntosh apples we'd just pilfered, and as the juice dropped down our faces we'd chuckle at our shenanigans feeling like we were tiny robin hoods and will Scarlett's liberating treasures from the wicked king Jon. it was that day that billy fell, his arm torn open by his tibia, blood soaking into the lush green grass beneath him, that I grew to fear farmers and their wrath, as he lay shrieking in pain and terror old farmer brown came racing from his house with a pitchfork and chased us off, and then viciously stabbed poor Billy over and over again until he was spread about the field like shredded pork. we ran home and cried ourselves to sleep, little tommy Johnson never spoke again, his last sound being the shouts at the old man to stop evicerating our friend. Years later they found several corpses buried in the brown's pasturesand it became apparent that Billy wasn't the first or the last child that the farmer had murdered. whenever I bite into an apple these memories come flooding back, haunting me and forcing me to relive the terror yet again.

the apple I have now is from stop and shop, it was $.79 and has a nice heft to it as I raise it to my mouth. tasty but not too sweet I give this apple a 8/10 on my fruit scale which means I would recommend it.

slopping my milk donkeys rn :clint:

chow time girls, giddyup

Manifisto


beer pal posted:

just had a couple mandarin oranges. both pretty average I'd say, more on the tart side than sweet. segments fairly juicy but not the most plump I've ever had

:cripes: mandarin "oranges" are technically a legume, what kind of mockery is this channel


ty nesamdoom!

Heather Papps

hello friend


beer pal posted:

just had a couple mandarin oranges. both pretty average I'd say, more on the tart side than sweet. segments fairly juicy but not the most plump I've ever had

how was the peeling experience? (i also wanted to ask this about the banana but was shy)



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

HugeGrossBurrito
a good ripe mango man, nothin better

beer pal

Heather Papps posted:

how was the peeling experience? (i also wanted to ask this about the banana but was shy)

thanks for your question. The peeling was pretty good - as we all know, this is one of the strengths of a mandarin over larger orange varietals such as navels. The peel of the second fruit left a bit of extra pith on the outside face of some of the segments, but not enough to affect flavour noticeably.

As for the banana, there was a bit of peel splitting, as one expects with a banana still showing some green

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

beer pal

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

a good ripe mango man, nothin better

i dont want to spoil anything but i might happen to have a certain tropical fruit ripening in my kitchen as we speak

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
do you ever eat the banana peels? they can be very dangerous if not disposed of properly. also: how do you dispose of your banana peels?

beer pal

i thought byob was a no politics zone

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Allie

what a weird coincidence. pretty good banana today is what my husband calls me

Heather Papps

hello friend


did you open the banana from the stem or bottom because if you opened it from the stem i have a hot banana tip for you: it is open it from the bottom, like a chimpanzee!



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

Stoner Sloth

Milde posted:

what a weird coincidence. pretty good banana today is what my husband calls me

well clearly he finds you very a-peeling! :dadjoke:







sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

Prof. Crocodile

Luvcow posted:

I remember as a small child when my neighbor, billy atton, fell from old Mr. brown's apple tree. we'd been stealing apples, as we often did during those halcyon days of our youth, and then eating them behind his barn where years later I'd have my first kiss with molly boehler. from inside the barn we'd hear the hems and jaws of the milk donkeys intermittently broken by the crunching of the crisp McIntosh apples we'd just pilfered, and as the juice dropped down our faces we'd chuckle at our shenanigans feeling like we were tiny robin hoods and will Scarlett's liberating treasures from the wicked king Jon. it was that day that billy fell, his arm torn open by his tibia, blood soaking into the lush green grass beneath him, that I grew to fear farmers and their wrath, as he lay shrieking in pain and terror old farmer brown came racing from his house with a pitchfork and chased us off, and then viciously stabbed poor Billy over and over again until he was spread about the field like shredded pork. we ran home and cried ourselves to sleep, little tommy Johnson never spoke again, his last sound being the shouts at the old man to stop evicerating our friend. Years later they found several corpses buried in the brown's pasturesand it became apparent that Billy wasn't the first or the last child that the farmer had murdered. whenever I bite into an apple these memories come flooding back, haunting me and forcing me to relive the terror yet again.

the apple I have now is from stop and shop, it was $.79 and has a nice heft to it as I raise it to my mouth. tasty but not too sweet I give this apple a 8/10 on my fruit scale which means I would recommend it.

Prof. Crocodile

fun fruit fact: bananas be berries.

Allie

oh look it’s the “alliteration” “alligator”

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Luvcow posted:

I remember as a small child when my neighbor, billy atton, fell from old Mr. brown's apple tree. we'd been stealing apples, as we often did during those halcyon days of our youth, and then eating them behind his barn where years later I'd have my first kiss with molly boehler. from inside the barn we'd hear the hems and jaws of the milk donkeys intermittently broken by the crunching of the crisp McIntosh apples we'd just pilfered, and as the juice dropped down our faces we'd chuckle at our shenanigans feeling like we were tiny robin hoods and will Scarlett's liberating treasures from the wicked king Jon. it was that day that billy fell, his arm torn open by his tibia, blood soaking into the lush green grass beneath him, that I grew to fear farmers and their wrath, as he lay shrieking in pain and terror old farmer brown came racing from his house with a pitchfork and chased us off, and then viciously stabbed poor Billy over and over again until he was spread about the field like shredded pork. we ran home and cried ourselves to sleep, little tommy Johnson never spoke again, his last sound being the shouts at the old man to stop evicerating our friend. Years later they found several corpses buried in the brown's pasturesand it became apparent that Billy wasn't the first or the last child that the farmer had murdered. whenever I bite into an apple these memories come flooding back, haunting me and forcing me to relive the terror yet again.

the apple I have now is from stop and shop, it was $.79 and has a nice heft to it as I raise it to my mouth. tasty but not too sweet I give this apple a 8/10 on my fruit scale which means I would recommend it.

:five:

beer pal

if you recall, reader, my banana review of yesterday, jan. 5, you'll know i predicted today's banana would be of optimal ripeness. I'm glad to day my prediction was accurate. The texture was still quite firm and the flavour heightened. an early contender for banana of the year.

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


beer pal posted:

if you recall, reader, my banana review of yesterday, jan. 5, you'll know i predicted today's banana would be of optimal ripeness. I'm glad to day my prediction was accurate. The texture was still quite firm and the flavour heightened. an early contender for banana of the year.

Holy frick, can you describe the experience of biting into the banana please

beer pal

ok I'll do my best. Imagine, if you will, that you're biting into an optimally ripe banana. it was very much like that.

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Heather Papps

hello friend


beer pal posted:

ok I'll do my best. Imagine, if you will, that you're biting into an optimally ripe banana. it was very much like that.

i can taste it



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

Prof. Crocodile

beer pal posted:

ok I'll do my best. Imagine, if you will, that you're biting into an optimally ripe banana. it was very much like that.

:sotw:

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RickRogers

Woh, is that a thing I like??
Please review kumquats, never personally had one, thanxs

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