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MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007

married but discreet posted:

Sadako stabs his owner with a bottle all the steam is out.

I didn't even like that kill! It's like they forgot the gimmick of the movie and went with a bog standard slasher kill!

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married but discreet
May 7, 2005


Taco Defender
Oh absolutely, it's sad that this is one of the highlights of the movie.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

One more day to vote. Friday we get the first round of 16 seed Play Ins but you still have more than a day to sneak in a couple of these movies and vote. Or the other way. Your call.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
So yea like I think a few other people I decided to opt out of Deodato. He's really just not my thing and I think I've seen enough of him to know that.

The vote itself was actually kinda tough because I tend to side more with dumb schlock like Bloody Mary over the usual Swanberg film. And Silver Bullets is definitely a Swanberg film. In the end the tiebreaker was the rest of this team that STAC put together, there are some films in there that I'd like to check out more so than what Lambert still has in the chamber.

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointment

Grimey Drawer
I'll be upfront, I'm not going to watch Deodato's Last Cannibal World. I've read enough of the write-ups in here to know it's not worth my time right now. I think if a movie is so repugnant that the reviews all emphasize to not watch it, I think that's a reasonable aspect of this challenge. Deodato pulled a bad film, I've only got so much time in my life.

Mary Lambert's Urban Legends: Bloody Mary is a soft swing and miss. I think if the movie had stuck with it's initial premise--Final Destination, but with urban legends, at the hands of Bloody Mary instead of Death--we'd have a better film on our hands. Instead, half-way through the film, it decides it would also like to be The Ring, because the film has made Bloody Mary a vengeful ghost of a girl murdered in 1969, and needs a concise, straightforward way to tie up the film.


If I were making a movie called Bloody Mary, I am drat sure I will have a scene (in the background, maybe?) where people are trying to drink those ridiculously elaborate Bloody Mary cocktails.

It's interesting that the film was written by Michael Dougherty, of Trick r Treat, Krampus, and Godzilla: KotM (as well as some X-Men movies), as well as Dan Harris, who has collaborated with Dougherty on several scripts. This is their 2nd (filmed) script together, after X-2, which is usually considered to be pretty good for X-Men movies! What happened here?

If we are departing from the grounded premise of the first two films--a slasher where the killer uses urban legends as a framing device for their murders--and using the urban legend of Bloody Mary, why not just stick with the actual urban legend of Bloody Mary?

from "Lucifer Ascending: The Occult in Folklore and Popular Culture" by Bill Ellis posted:

Historically, the divination ritual encouraged young women to walk up a flight of stairs backward holding a candle and a hand mirror, in a darkened house. As they gazed into the mirror, they were supposed to be able to catch a view of their future husband's face. There was, however, a chance that they would see a skull (or the face of the Grim Reaper) instead, indicating that they were going to die before they would have the chance to marry.



In the ritual of today, Bloody Mary allegedly appears to individuals or groups who ritualistically invoke her name in an act of catoptromancy. This is done by repeatedly chanting her name into a mirror placed in a dimly-lit or candle-lit room. The name must be repeated three times (or seven, or thirteen, or some other arbitrary "spooky" number). Sometimes the evil spirit is known as Mary Worth, Hell Mary, Mary White, or Mary Jane. The Bloody Mary apparition allegedly appears as a corpse, witch or ghost that can be friendly or evil, and is sometimes seen covered in blood. The lore surrounding the ritual states that participants may endure the apparition screaming at them, cursing them, strangling them, stealing their soul, drinking their blood,[4] or scratching their eyes out.

The origins of Bloody Mary trace back to the 1700s, but became more popular in the 1990's, with the rise of the internet.

But wait. I thought that this had something to do with bathrooms? When I was in elementary school, we went into the bathroom, turned the lights off, and said Bloody Mary three times into a mirror. This comes from the myth of Hanako-san!

quote:

According to legend, Hanako-san is the spirit of a young girl who haunts school bathrooms, and can be described as a yōkai (made up of the kanji for "bewitching; attractive; calamity" and "spectre; apparition; mystery; suspicious."; they range from malevolent and mischievous entities believed to cause misfortune and harm, to those who are considered to bring good fortune to those who encounter them.) or a yūrei (made from two kanji, 幽 (yū), meaning "faint" or "dim" and 霊 (rei), meaning "soul" or "spirit"; analogous to the Western model of ghosts). The details of her physical appearance vary across different sources, but she is commonly described as having a bobbed haircut and as wearing a red skirt or dress. The details of Hanako-san's origins also vary depending on the account; in some versions, Hanako-san was a child who was murdered by a stranger or an abusive parent in a school bathroom; in other versions, she was a girl who committed suicide in a school bathroom; in still other versions, she was a child who lived during World War II, and who was killed in an air raid while hiding in a school bathroom during a game of hide-and-seek.



To summon Hanako-san, it is often said that individuals must enter a girls' bathroom (usually on the third floor of a school), knock three times on the third stall, and ask if Hanako-san is present. If Hanako-san is there, she will reply with some variation of "Yes, I am." Depending on the story, the individual may then witness the appearance of a bloody or ghostly hand; the hand, or Hanako-san herself, may pull the individual into the toilet, which may lead to Hell; or the individual may be eaten by a three-headed lizard who claims that the individual was invading Hanako’s privacy. The individual may also be left alone with no harm, but they may see Hanako-San in the mirrors next to them. Source 1Source 2



The legend of Hanako-san has been around since the 1950's, but became more popular in...the 1990's, with the rise of the internet. If it sounds familiar, it's because it's been influencing pop culture, ranging from Silent Hill to Harry Potter's Moaning Myrtle.

It seems like the two converged sometime in the 1960's, which is when Bloody Mary moved to the bathroom. Source

The 1990's spread the legend even further, and cemented it in pop culture, with the popularity of chain mail. E-mails started circulating with horror stories--what we now lamely call "creepypasta"--that were variations on this theme:

wildstyleangel79@hotmail.com posted:

When I was about nine years old, I went to a friend's for a birthday/slumber party. There were about 10 other girls there. About midnight, we decided to play Mary Worth. Some of us had never heard of this, so one of the girls told the story.
Mary Worth lived a long time ago. She was a very beautiful young girl. One day she had a terrible accident that left her face so disfigured that nobody would look at her. She had not been allowed to see her own reflection after this accident for fear that she would lose her mind. Before this, she had spent long hours admiring her beauty in her bedroom mirror.

One night, after everyone had gone to bed, unable to fight the curiosity any longer, she crept into a room that had a mirror. As soon as she saw her face, she broke down into terrible screams and sobs. It was at this moment that she was so heartbroken and wanted her old reflection back, she walked into the mirror to find it, vowing to disfigure anybody that came looking for her in the mirror.

After hearing this story, which was told very scarily, we decided to turn out all of the lights and try it. We all huddled around the mirror and starting repeating 'Mary Worth, Mary Worth, I believe in Mary Worth.'
About the seventh time we said it, one of the girls that was in front of the mirror started screaming and trying to push her way back away from the mirror. She was screaming so loud that my friend's mom came running into the room. She quickly turned on the lights and found this girl huddled in the corner screaming. She turned her around to see what the problem was and saw these long fingernail scratches running down her right cheek. I will never forget her face as long as I live!
Source


I bring this up because it's more fascinating and interesting than Mary Lambert's film. With Final Destination being a franchise for five years at the release of UL:BM, I don't know why they didn't just embrace the actual legends of Bloody Mary, and make a film about the inevitable repercussions of loving with dark spirits, with the conflict staying with the characters fearing for their lives, trying to avoid death, and searching for any possible way to break the curse they have cast upon themselves. Instead, the main badguy in a movie called Bloody Mary is...a step father?

There are some fascinating aspects of the film. I kind of appreciate the bisexual (or polysexual?) gaze of the film, that sexualizes both the male and female characters in the same way. The film has a low-key queerness, with the girls at the beginning playing a pillow fight in a softcore porn sort of feel, the tanning bed death is shown with the character's bulge and taint centered in frame, with the men's locker room talk consisting of the guys talking about each others physique. The only real man/woman sexual situation is two men working together to try and date rape during prom in the opening scene; it's less "let's take advantage of these hot girls" and a more psychosexual "how about we consummate our masculine bonding through the predatory act of brutalizing women together?".

I did like that the film seems to laugh at the audience for sexualizing a character, when a scene starts with the camera on Grace's legs, rear end, side-boobs and back, only to end with spiders erupting from her flesh and her face being sliced off by a broken mirror. This is everyone's favorite scene for a reason, because it actually feels thoughtful towards the audience and the film's premise. "It's all downhill from there", said Garbage Baby, as I chatted about the film in real-time in discord. They're right! The movie peaks so early, while it's at it's simplest and most fun. Even if the spiders look so silly, the scene works.

There seems to be a whole "the next generation will reap what the previous generation sowed" with the film's twist that Bloody Mary is killing the characters because their parents were the ones that tried to date rape her, leading to her death. But that doesn't really work in the context of 2005, like it would in 1980's. The world had really moved on from there. Again, Final Destination showed that fears had moved the teens of the era to fear the absurdity and unfairness of death, which makes a hell of a lot of sense in a post-911 world (yes, I know FD1 was 2000; I think it was prescient to what was in the air at the time). Urban Legends: Bloody Mary was already outdated before it even hit production, because it tries to take an evergreen fear--a vengeful ghost that kills those brave enough to risk their lives for a joke--and turn it into something that doesn't make that much sense.

I'm voting Silver Bullets, which is more deserving of analysis, but this post grew larger than I thought, so I will do another post on that.

Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Jan 7, 2021

married but discreet
May 7, 2005


Taco Defender

Franchescanado posted:


There are some fascinating aspects of the film. I kind of appreciate the bisexual (or polysexual?) gaze of the film, that sexualizes both the male and female characters in the same way. The film has a low-key queerness, with the girls at the beginning playing a pillow fight in a softcore porn sort of feel, the tanning bed death is shown with the character's bulge and taint centered in frame, with the men's locker room talk consisting of the guys talking about each others physique. The only real man/woman sexual situation is two men working together to try and date rape during prom in the opening scene; it's less "let's take advantage of these hot girls" and a more psychosexual "how about we consummate our masculine bonding through the predatory act of brutalizing women together?".


Thanks for that writeup, I'm sure there's more than a few people here who love urban legends (not the movies).

The bi-gaze really was interesting, and I'd like to generously interpret it as someone protesting against the mandatory male-gaze in much of the movie. As many noted, there's glimpses of something good in that movie, but definitely not worth voting for or recommending to anyone.

Debbie Does Dagon
Jul 8, 2005



Franchescanado posted:

I'm voting Silver Bullets, which is more deserving of analysis, but this post grew larger than I thought, so I will do another post on that.

I'll look forward to it :allears: that was an excellent post to start the year with

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Yeah, that's a great writeup, Fran. As always inspiring me to try and up my game.

smitster
Apr 9, 2004


Oven Wrangler
I didn't participate in the last bracketology, but this seems really cool, so I'm diving in - I hope there wasn't a signup or anything for the voting process, beyond the team assembly! Great writeups so far - I'm so glad this subforum exists, I learn stuff all the time.

Last Cannibal World - At the risk of sounding repetitive, this is chock full of really disgusting things. The animal cruelty is present in spades, and the colonialism on full display. It's much more of an adventure movie than Cannibal Holocaust, and doesn't have CH's "we are the real monster" vibe - here the tribe is definitely painted as the monster. The giant spiked scrotum of death trap was fun though.

Silver Bullets - I've seen enough mumblecore/gore movies now to know I like them. I can definitely see how they might not be folks cup of tea (clearly not true of this crowd), but this really worked for me as a look at approaches to art, relationships, and what smarter people than me have already said.

Urban Legends: Bloody Mary - It was... alright. Although a little wooden at times, it seemed *almost* competent. I agree it felt really hastily assembled. There were continuity errors all over, and at the end did the movie forget about her brother? Or did her character? Or did I? We'll never know.

My vote for this round is for Silver Bullets.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

smitster posted:

Urban Legends: Bloody Mary - It was... alright. Although a little wooden at times, it seemed *almost* competent. I agree it felt really hastily assembled. There were continuity errors all over, and at the end did the movie forget about her brother? Or did her character? Or did I? We'll never know.

Her brother was murdered by her stepdad. He jumps him from behind and then tells Kate Mara that he's gone now so they can't leave her mother alone. Its weird because stepdad rushed to murdering his kids really quick to silence a ghost... or something. But that feels in line with most of the movie feeling kind of rushed past a first draft without giving it a deeper look.

And welcome aboard. Absolutely no signup necessary. Participate when and how you feel like it or can.

Votes lock technically in an hour but I'll probably just leave them open until the morning depending on when I sleep and get back on the computer. New round coming tomorrow.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

I'm an insomniac and its June 8th just about everywhere so first vote is closed!

We had a pretty nice turnout of 18 voters that I’m feeling good about and there was silent support for both Mary Lambert and Ruggero Deodato that kept them in the race early but ultimately the vocal favorite of Joe Swanberg’s Silver Bullets won out big and took a majority of the votes to advance Radio Silence into the Field of 64 and a 1st round matchup against Mario Bava in the Italian Conference. Good luck there. Lambert suffers her second 1st rd knockout. Maybe 3rd time’s the charm?




Ok, so for the next two weeks we’ll be doing 6 movies. After that we’ll be doing 4 movies a week. The 6 is necessary for us to get all our Play Ins finished in a timely fashion and get us on track for the Field of 64. I’m sorry for that but they’re just 16 seeds. Our 6 directors this week are all complete newcomers, not playing last season, so who do we got?

Tokyo #16 Seed: (Franchescanado’s Team Vulgær) Gaspar Noé’s I Stand Alone vs. Charles Band’s Corona Zombies vs. (married but discreet’s Top Giallo Schmorgasboard) Duccio Tessar’s The Bloodstained Butterfly


Gaspar Noé’s I Stand Alone
What Letterboxd says:

“Adam Moody” posted:

Gaspar Noe's debut feature film has left my mind racing in stunned chaos. You won't find anything more relentlessly brutal and overwhelmingly bleak, confining itself within the bowels of humanity.
Ohgod, ohgod, oh god, its the Climax guy! And this is a sequel to a short film called Carne so now I’m compelled to watch that too. What is wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself?

Charles Band’s Corona Zombies:
What Letterboxd says:

“pd187” posted:

this post-modern masterpiece from the writer of OOGA BOOGA and the director of hands-down the best gingerdead man sequel (passion of the crust's sylvia st croix!)* is so much cheap, sicko friday-night fun im ready to declare it "the movie we need right now" and charles band the unsurpassed king of exploitation.
This 2020 film about Covid-19 somehow has two sequels including Barbie & Kendra Save the Tiger King. I feel like I’m about to get a crash course on Full Moon.

Duccio Tessar’s The Bloodstained Butterfly
What Letterboxd says:

“Matt Winfield” posted:

Hmm, maybe I've been watching too many cooking shows lately, but y'know when someone's running out of time, trying to be fancy, or they don't really know what the gently caress they're doing as they toss all the ingredients on a plate and call it “deconstructed”. That's kinda what Bloodstained Butterfly reminded me of, a deconstructed giallo. Definitely much tastier than a “deconstructed chicken noodle soup”
I finally understand what giallo means! And at least its not a french misery film or weird exploitative film!

The Bloodstained Butterfly is on Amazon Prime.
I Stand Alone does not appear to be on any major US streaming service but it is… out there.
Corona Zombies is free on TubiTV.


Doubles #16 Seed: (Tarnop's Predation) Jonathan Glazer’s Under the Skin vs. (married but discreet's Giallo B Team) Emilio Miraglia’s The Red Queen Kills Seven Times vs. M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening


Jonathan Glazer’s Under the Skin
What Letterboxd says:

“Karsten Runquist” posted:

Never in a million years did I think a movie that would make me contemplate my existence would also have Darude - Sandstorm in it.
Hey, a movie I’m excited to watch and have meant to forever! Pumped to feel real skuzzy about finding ScarJo so hot!

Emilio Miraglia’s The Red Queen Kills Seven Times
What Letterboxd says:

“Sally Jane Black” posted:

Sumptuous is probably overused, especially when describing things that are either Gothic or giallo, but this is both. It earns the designation, from the architectural porn to the high fashion (interwoven into character, setting, and plot) to the long hallways and tight interiors to the wallpaper, yes, the glorious, sometimes garish, sometimes sublime wallpaper. By god, what wallpaper. (I love the wallpaper.)
I have mixed feelings about giallo but you mix it with some old school gothic and I think I’m in for a really fun sounding style overload.

M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening
What Letterboxd says:

“Tara” posted:

Mark Wahlberg gets out acted by a plant.
I can’t believe I’m going to watch The Happening a second time. I definitely gotta get some work done during this one.

Under the Skinis on Showtime, Kanopy, Hoopla, Fubo, and DirectTV. I also picked it up cheap on Blu Ray years ago if you want to come over.
The Red Queen Kills Seven Times is on Amazon Prime and Shudder.
M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening is on Amazon Prime only available to rent.


Ok that’s all I got. Vote is open until January 15th. You can edit your votes so feel free to vote early because you can go back if you change your minds. Keep a look out for Deb for one of her always helpful and fun streams. Only way I survived last week's films.

VOTE!
Bracket & Noms Spreadsheet
Letterboxd List

STAC Goat fucked around with this message at 10:26 on Jan 16, 2021

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
Ohhh see now this round is exciting. Two giallo that I've never seen, and both are on a streaming service I have!

I'm also way overdue for a rewatch of Under the Skin, and I can't wait to see a few reactions to it from first time viewers.

married but discreet
May 7, 2005


Taco Defender
I'll have to check out Noe and Band's movies but I'm pretty sure that Bloodstained Butterfly can beat them. It's very slick and surprisingly thoughtful, but It's a bit low on the horror and high on the police procedural aspects, so that might put off some people.

Under The Skin easily blows the other movies out of the water, but definitely don't sleep on The Happening, it's really funny in a way only M. Night Shyamalan can be. I don't actually like The Red Queen Kills Seven Times that much, it drags on quite a bit, but it does have the whole style thing going for it.

married but discreet fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Jan 8, 2021

Debbie Does Dagon
Jul 8, 2005



:spooky: Week 2 Bracketology Streams! :spooky:
:rip: Only on the CineD Discord :rip:

All times are in EST and may not reflect reality.



Saturday, January 9th

1900 Corona Zombies
2010 I Stand Alone
2205 The Bloodstained Butterfly



Monday, January 11th

1900 The Happening
2040 The Red Queen Kills Seven Times
2230 Under the Skin

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Basebf555 posted:

I'm also way overdue for a rewatch of Under the Skin, and I can't wait to see a few reactions to it from first time viewers.
Under the Skin is probably my most-hated film of the last decade short of like, Dinesh D'Souza hit pieces. It commits the cardinal sin of any movie: being boring. At one point there is a 50 second single shot of Scarlett taking a single bite of a piece of cake. It's worthless. It's padding and in absolutely no loving world does this 43 minute Outer Limits episode need to creep up on 2 whole goddamn hours.

I'm not asking for a Kevin Smith movie, I understand the idea that sometimes it's the actors performance or the shot framing that makes a movie, but this feels more like a conceptual mood piece than an actual proper film. I'm glad it bombed, we're given nothing to hang our narrative heart on and other than one spooky body-horror moment, it's a tiresome slog.

If you told me 10 years ago that I'd be pissed off after watching a movie about a naked Scarlett Johanssen seducing dudes, I would not have believed you, but here we are.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
Couldn't disagree more. It's a movie with very little dialogue, that's true. But it sets up a mystery(who is she and what is she doing with these men?) and gives you breadcrumbs of new information with each scene. Each scene has a very clear purpose, including the cake scene, and many of them have unbearable tension. Not to mention, like you said, one of the most memorable scenes of horror in recent memory and a knockout finale.

It's also a movie that benefits from multiple viewings because once you know everything that's revealed by the end it's interesting to rewatch the performance with that in mind. And it's a great performance.

The Hausu Usher
Feb 9, 2010

:spooky:
Screaming is the only useful thing that we can do.

Under the Skin caught me and dragged me in very easily, found it tense and thrilling throughout. One of the best horrors of the decade, art-house or not.

So far I've only seen 2 of the 9 movies so far so that's great. Felt like a little bit of a loser voting without seeing Cannibal World but I'm really not in the mood.

TrixRabbi
Aug 20, 2010

Time for a little robot chauvinism!

I'm sorry Shrecknet but that is a godawful take. I mean, it is a conceptual mood piece but it's one that is so overwhelming in its eerieness and sadness. I haven't seen it since it was in theaters -- good god almost seven years ago now. That one "POP" (if you've seen the movie you know what I mean) is maybe one of the scariest things I've ever seen in a film.

And then I just recently watched Corona Zombies. Look, it's almost certainly not gonna win but I will say it got a few actual laughs out of me and some day that thing is going to be a weird rear end time capsule of a very specific month in history. Like if you ever want to reflect on the immediate days of the pandemic before we knew we were supposed to wear masks but after toilet paper had gone out of stock that's the movie. It's the only Charles Band film I've ever seen lmao.

smitster
Apr 9, 2004


Oven Wrangler
Under The Skin was such a weird movie, I also loved it. It has a tone that's lonely and menacing at the same time.


STAC Goat posted:

Her brother was murdered by her stepdad. He jumps him from behind and then tells Kate Mara that he's gone now so they can't leave her mother alone. Its weird because stepdad rushed to murdering his kids really quick to silence a ghost... or something. But that feels in line with most of the movie feeling kind of rushed past a first draft without giving it a deeper look.

Yeah, I sort of remember him telling her that (and I do remember the strangulation, but I think they cut away from it before we saw how that really ended?) it just felt odd at the denouement at the end her brother wasn't brought up at all in the convo between Samantha and Grace. Poor guy, forgotten already.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


TrixRabbi posted:

I'm sorry Shrecknet but that is a godawful take.
I don't begrudge a movie being slow - Lake Mungo is absolutely glacial and it's one of my all-time favorites - but a movie being boring I cannot abide. Once we get the concept (alien come to earth to steal all our men's precious fluids) it's another hour of aimless driving and mumblecore dialog until something interesting happens again.

It is a bad movie because it is a boring, padded slog with only the barest of bones of plot or character to hang its hat on. Hard no on being forced to watch more garbage from a creator who doesn't appear to know how to make a movie.

If it was a 1 hour Masters of Horror episode, I'd probably like it a lot more.

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 18:00 on Jan 8, 2021

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
Edit: Always a good idea to quote the thing you want spoiler tagged!

If you were bored that's one thing, that's so subjective that it's hard to argue with. But I can't think of a single scene in the movie that I would call padding. Every single scene moves the story forward in a way that is important and I'd have a hard time coming up with anything to cut. The cake scene you mentioned, for example, is a crucial moment of the character's development.

Basebf555 fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Jan 8, 2021

Tarnop
Nov 25, 2013

Pull me out

Shrecknet posted:

Hard no on being forced to watch more garbage from a creator who doesn't appear to know how to make a movie.

You've already been bodied for your bad take on the film, so no need for me to dive in there, but I'm not sure what you mean by the bit I've quoted above.

e: did you mean more Jonathan Glazer films if this team gets through? If so, have no fear. It's a team of directors with one horror film a piece

Tarnop fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Jan 8, 2021

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointment

Grimey Drawer
Hell yes, what a fun line-up. STAC, I will also be watching Carne along with I Stand Alone.

I also really love Under The Skin. I bought the blu ray and haven’t rewatched it since, so that’s gonna rule.

The rest, including The Happening, are all new-to-me.

married but discreet
May 7, 2005


Taco Defender
My favourite shot of The Happening

TrixRabbi
Aug 20, 2010

Time for a little robot chauvinism!

Shrecknet posted:

I don't begrudge a movie being slow - Lake Mungo is absolutely glacial and it's one of my all-time favorites - but a movie being boring I cannot abide. Once we get the concept (alien come to earth to steal all our men's precious fluids) it's another hour of aimless driving and mumblecore dialog until something interesting happens again.

It is a bad movie because it is a boring, padded slog with only the barest of bones of plot or character to hang its hat on. Hard no on being forced to watch more garbage from a creator who doesn't appear to know how to make a movie.

If it was a 1 hour Masters of Horror episode, I'd probably like it a lot more.

I will say the way you're talking about Under the Skin it makes it sound like you wanted something plot oriented when this is very much not what the film is about. Like, you're talking about padding as if this is a film about getting from point A to point B and not an allegory about feeling like an alien in your own skin and failure to connect with others.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

I'm very interested to see Under the Skin. I've heard so much good about it but then again last night I wrote a bad review for I'm Thinking of Ending Things and a good one for Return of the Swamp Thing so its possible I'm uncultured swine. I'm curious to test it with that film.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


TrixRabbi posted:

I will say the way you're talking about Under the Skin it makes it sound like you wanted something plot oriented
yes this is what films are

quote:

when this is very much not what the film is about.
which is why I hated it.

Tone pieces are for 16-minute noodling prog-rock songs, movies should probably have something approximating a plot or they're wasting my time. Go ahead and crucify me for wanting to not have my time wasted by a guy jerking off on celluloid over what a deep tone piece he's made where nothing happens and there is no conflict or dialog or characters.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
You're allowed to not like it. No biggie.

married but discreet
May 7, 2005


Taco Defender

Basebf555 posted:

You're allowed to not like it. No biggie.

Yeah, we all have our specific beloved/critically acclaimed movie that we hate. Mine's Hellraiser II, it's a piece of poo poo imho.

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointment

Grimey Drawer

Shrecknet posted:

yes this is what films are

No.

Those are the films you like. You do not like tonal films. That doesn’t mean they aren’t films.

There is a difference and we are politely trying to remind you of this while acknowledging a difference in taste, and you’re rather insultingly ignoring us.

You also are ignoring a lot of plot even in scenes you dislike or write off as masturbatory.

Under the Skin is about a predator who becomes prey at the hands of their prey. The character arc is watching that transformation. This is a creature so alien from us, and we are its food source. In its pursuit of its prey, which is no different than a hunter getting a deer to take back to their family, it realizes that there is an entire culture and depth to the thing it has only thought of as something to eat. And it sees this, and can’t actually fully relate to it, although it seems, by the end, to really want to. The conversation with the disfigured man is one of the most fascinating and emotionally complex scenes in sci-fi in the last few years, because there is so much going on in the alien’s inner world. It also shifts the alien towards being a victim. It doesn’t understand that it can also be murdered because of emotional disturbances, or that it could be sexually assaulted, or that there is more, to humanity, than it just being livestock. And in the end, it’s empathy, or understanding that it could feel empathy, is what leads to the film’s climax.

It’s a polarizing film! You aren’t the first person to dislike it, or find its approach to storytelling off-putting, because you rather have more situational story-telling and not a quiet character study where the character is literally inhuman. That’s cool that you feel that way. The problem is, you’re really being off-putting in your way of addressing your issues with the film, and our disagreeing with you, in this, a thread based on discussion of films where we talk about what we like about them.

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007

married but discreet posted:

Yeah, we all have our specific beloved/critically acclaimed movie that we hate. Mine's Hellraiser II, it's a piece of poo poo imho.

you're lucky im not a mod

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointment

Grimey Drawer

MacheteZombie posted:

you're lucky im not a mod

I put in a ban and the admins told me to “gently caress off, Part 3 is better”???

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007
time to delete my account i guess

The Hausu Usher
Feb 9, 2010

:spooky:
Screaming is the only useful thing that we can do.

Is there anything worse than film directors that think they're funny? Charles Band is agonisingly uncool and bad. Corona Zombies is so monumentally lazy I want to scream.

Debbie Does Dagon
Jul 8, 2005



BisonDollah posted:

Is there anything worse than film directors that think they're funny? Charles Band is agonisingly uncool and bad. Corona Zombies is so monumentally lazy I want to scream.

That's a shame. I flicked through the film readying it for streaming, and it looked quite fun, lazy of course, but fun.

The Hausu Usher
Feb 9, 2010

:spooky:
Screaming is the only useful thing that we can do.

Debbie Does Dagon posted:

That's a shame. I flicked through the film readying it for streaming, and it looked quite fun, lazy of course, but fun.

Didn't help they use one of the most racist zombie films I've seen as a Rifftrax for 80% of the movie.

Also for anyone tempted to watch the Gasper Noe short Carne in preperation for I Walk Alone (it's sequel) there is a content warning which isn't loving around and animal slaughter is literally the next scene so be quick on your remotes. Could have went 2021 without seeing a horse being killed brutally myself, happy Veganuary.

TrixRabbi
Aug 20, 2010

Time for a little robot chauvinism!

Shrecknet posted:

yes this is what films are
which is why I hated it.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

I super duper hated I Stand Alone and suspect I'm gonna be arguing with people over it this week. But I'll say that I think Carne really is an informative part of its story that isn't sufficiently covered in the recap. It has a really horrible horse slaughter in it and you shouldn't force yourself to watch it if you don't want to. It was horrible. Its also right at the top of the story and completely gratuitous so you can theoretically skip it. Of course Noe springs it on you very quickly to try and maximize shock... but its possible.

I mean, don't watch it if you don't want to. I don't really think Noe is that interesting or worth watching if you don't want. But I do think it adds more to the Butcher's character and story than I think I Stand Alone provides. And its on Internet Archive free.

The Hausu Usher
Feb 9, 2010

:spooky:
Screaming is the only useful thing that we can do.

I Stand Alone is an unpleasant watch but I guess that's the point. I was engaged most of the film which is more than can be said for the other two (outside the ending of BSB).

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STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Charles Band's Corona Zombies
I've never seen a Charles Band film. I'm not sure I've ever seen a Full Moon film. I still don't think I've seen either. There's a kernel of an interesting idea here. Taking a silly character like Barbie and using her to experience the surreal madness of a particular point of this pandemic using news footage and parts of older films to craft a story. That could have been kind of fun, both as a time capsule of that moment when our biggest concerns were hand sanitizer and toilet paper and just to see where the whole Barbie story goes. The problem is it goes nowhere. Barbie's just kind of ditched to the side and they just start showing us a bad old zombie film with bad dubs of a dumb rear end soup joke plot. It got to a point where I just would have preferred to be watching the original movie rather than just a kinda racist grandpa doing bad MST3K over it. Its a dumb watch that is only an hour (even if it drags and feels like longer) but it actively annoyed me for introducing a decent premise and then just abandoning it. Couldn't they have taken like one more week to finish it? Or write it?

I worried this might not be representative of Band's work but its the 5th most popular horror of his on Letterboxd so whatcha gonna do?

Gaspar Noé's I Stand Alone
I suspect I'm gonna be the unpopular voice here but I hated this film. Is Noe a talented director? Yes, of course. Its perfectly well made to its purposes. But what are its purposes? Noe strikes me as little more than an edgelord blessed with the means and opportunity to make films instead of memes. I find his nihilism deeply boring and pedestrian. Its a 15-year-old's rebellion against "censorship" and social standards. I'm just so completely bored by it. Its not creative, its not funny, its profound, its not revealing. Its just misery for the sake of misery. Shock to shock. Offense because you're lashing out at someone who you know will be offended if you do it. It feels incredibly lame to me.

As for the film itself, as I said earlier I think Carne is a huge piece of the puzzle because it not only shows a lot of key character details and motivations but it also shows the Butcher for what a petty and small man he is. It wasn't the system or fate that screwed him. He was doing ok for a long time. A lovely daughter, a seemingly successful business, and people seemed to like and respect him. He threw that all away and destroyed his own live through anger, abuse, and self pity. I found nothing remotely sympathetic about him. I found nothing remotely interesting about him. I enjoy character studies and I'm fine with flawed or even bad protagonists. But there was nothing interesting or thought provoking about this guy. He's just a piece of poo poo destroying lives and then crying about how everyone destroyed his except himself. I didn't hate him because he was too pathetic to hate. I didn't want to see him die or get justice or whatever. I just wanted him to go away.

I just got absolutely nothing from this film at all. Its well made, sure. Maybe the best made film of the three. But it was a completely empty experience for me that only makes me want to never waste my time or energy on another Gasper Noe film.

Duccio Tessar's The Bloodstained Butterfly
I wanted to like this. I really really did. I hated the first two so much that I really wanted to feel justified voting for this. And on paper I kind of like it. I’m not a huge fan of giallo mainly for 2 reasons. A “style over substance” approach where the style doesn’t do enough to carry for me (and sometimes grosses me out) and the “murder mystery” thing that very often feels badly done and like the movie takes a lot of liberties in order to preserve a final twist. And to that end I think the “deconstructed giallo” thing kind of works for me. The murder mystery is still pretty convoluted but I think its actually built up in this case unlike a lot of giallo. And it definitely tries to insert more substance and story at the sacrifice of style. It seems to deliberately go for a more classical/procedural approach over the electronic/sex and flash style usually done. And in theory I found that interesting.

But I fell asleep. Twice. Like yesterday and then today. So I watched the film twice and I’m not gonna do it a third time. I managed to get the whole story I think between the two viewings and ultimately one time I could have chalked up to bad timing but the second probably speaks to the film. But hey, I think I’m gonna try and start playing Italian classical musical when I can’t sleep. Maybe I discovered something.


So who the hell am I voting for? I hated 2 of the films and i couldn’t stay awake during the 3rd. Objectively I Stand Alone probably is the best made film but I got absolutely nothing from it and question whether it has any value at all. So I feel comfortable not voting for it. Plus God, I don’t want to watch another Noe film ever again. But I also don’t like giallo and while boredom is preferable to disgust its still not something I want to vote for. So I guess I’m voting for Charles Band? At least there’s the hint of something interesting and fun in Corona Zombies? Its lazy and rushed and kinda racist but it was probably the easiest watch of the three for me and gun to my head I guess I rather watch another Band film than the others.

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