beer pal's fruit review

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > beer pal's fruit review

Prof. Crocodile

I don't think mangoes are that great. Never have. I mean, they're not bad by any means, but every time I go to the grocery store I just walk past 'em and keep on walkin'.

# ? Jan 10, 2021 00:02

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:06

Heather Papps: hello friend

if you consider a cherry a fruit i'd love to hear your thoughts on them
e: directed to beer pal but you know what i'm going to open this question up to everyone

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jan 10, 2021 00:03

cruft

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

you gotta keep a mango in the fridge it gets soft on the outside slower and doesn�t go bad. I�ve found it takes like a month or so but they get perfect

Mangoes sound like a pretty needy fruit. We don't get them easily where I live, and this thread has convinced me that's okay.

# ? Jan 10, 2021 00:04

cruft

Heather Papps posted:

if you consider a cherry a fruit i'd love to hear your thoughts on them
e: directed to beer pal but you know what i'm going to open this question up to everyone

Cherries are pretty good, but if you eat too many of them it messes with your poopin'.

# ? Jan 10, 2021 00:05

beer pal

ive never had passion fruit, i could look for them next trip. althouh i googled them and i had no idea they look like a geode filled with little yellow condoms which isnt terribly appealing.

i havent had cherries for a very long time so i cant stand by this, but i have slightly negative feelings for them

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Jan 10, 2021 00:08

biosterous

my favourite mango is mango lassi, but other mangoes are also good

i have not for several months bought frozen mango chunks, because it's too cold, but once it warms up i will buy another bag and enjoy a chilly mango treat

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jan 10, 2021 00:23

Stoner Sloth

joking about beer pal reviewing the fruit of my loins... repeatedly and aggressively until i have a full and honest review of my nut fruits

sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

# ? Jan 10, 2021 17:55

Stoner Sloth

also mango is my favourite OP!

# ? Jan 10, 2021 17:56

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Is there a delicious nut that also has a tastey outside pulp? Feel like there may be an ultimate food waiting to be discovered

# ? Jan 10, 2021 19:00

Manifisto

RickRogers posted:

Is there a delicious nut that also has a tastey outside pulp? Feel like there may be an ultimate food waiting to be discovered

cashew apples nearly qualify I would say, they are just next to the nut rather than surrounding it.

I've tasted coffee cherries and they were not bad. but coffee beans aren't a nut of course.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 10, 2021 19:06

beer pal

i am coming out as Pro dragon fruit ---haters back off----

the flavour is mild but pleasant, the texture is delightful - much like a kiwi, and the seeds add a little extra character. great eating experience. only downside is theyre a little pricey

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Jan 10, 2021 22:49

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

beer pal posted:

i am coming out as Pro dragon fruit ---haters back off----

the flavour is mild but pleasant, the texture is delightful - much like a kiwi, and the seeds add a little extra character. great eating experience. only downside is theyre a little pricey

Yessss! Join us, Dragon Fruit Gang best gang.

I like to let mine get a little overripe and then mash it up over shaved ice. It's basically sorbet with less steps. The seeds are the best part; little soft, little crunch, nothing is too much.

# ? Jan 11, 2021 00:22

Allie

nut posted:

I had a banana today, inspired by one of my favourite posters beer pal

sometimes uve gotta look for inspiration in the small things in life

# ? Jan 11, 2021 05:38

biosterous

waiting on beer fruit's pal review

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jan 11, 2021 14:36

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

*wearing out the F5*

# ? Jan 11, 2021 15:05

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

What will it be????!

# ? Jan 11, 2021 16:56

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

I hope it's another dragon fruit; then we know beer pal is living his best life as ultra rich man, Jep Bezo.

# ? Jan 11, 2021 17:20

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Solid gold pineapple review

# ? Jan 11, 2021 17:27

Heather Papps: hello friend

i just hope this weeks bunch is as good as last weeks (bananas)

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jan 11, 2021 21:01

cruft

Heather Papps posted:

i just hope this weeks bunch is as good as last weeks (bananas)

More banana jokes please

# ? Jan 11, 2021 21:39

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

They are just so appealing

# ? Jan 11, 2021 21:41

beer pal

This week's banana bunch had me a bit anxious, as the colour of the peels is quite dull, and none of the bananas available for selection in the store had much green left on them. The texture of this first banana was very good, they don't come much firmer. There was something a bit off about the flavour, though - hard to put a finger on. This could well be a symptom of expectation - the dull peel colour affecting my perception.

An aside - did you know you can put your bananas in the fridge to keep them from further ripening? the peel will go brown quite rapidly, but the fruit will not degrade. I tried this for a short while, but i couldn't get over the psychological effect of the browned peel. it's true what they say that we eat with more senses than just taste.

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Jan 11, 2021 21:44

cruft

RickRogers posted:

They are just so appealing

Keep them Kuming (quats)

# ? Jan 11, 2021 21:57

beer pal

hello its come to my attention that people have been posting puns in this thread. I would like to state for the record that puns and other offensive language are not permitted and will be reported to the moderators. thank you

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Jan 11, 2021 22:00

Heather Papps: hello friend

beer pal posted:

An aside - did you know you can put your bananas in the fridge to keep them from further ripening? the peel will go brown quite rapidly, but the fruit will not degrade.

excited to try this tip. thanks beer pal!

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jan 11, 2021 22:01

beer pal

pear today a bit riper than I prefer but those are nice too, the stronger flavour mostly makes up for the softness

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Jan 11, 2021 23:29

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

beer pal posted:

pear today a bit riper than I prefer but those are nice too, the stronger flavour mostly makes up for the softness

What kinda pear, OP? Bosc, red, Bradford?

# ? Jan 12, 2021 01:03

beer pal

i'm a bartlett man. of the varieties available at my grocery (bartlett, bosc, anjou) i've found it my favourite. (they also have asian pears which i havent tried because they're expensive)

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Jan 12, 2021 01:06

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

I prefer an Anjou or the Korean pears I grew up eating, but I can respect a Bartlett.

# ? Jan 12, 2021 04:43

cruft

Kief Richards posted:

I prefer an Anjou or the Korean pears I grew up eating, but I can respect a Bartlett.

Please tell us about Korean pears

# ? Jan 12, 2021 04:49

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

cruft posted:

Please tell us about Korean pears

They're a somewhat large--probably 17cm around--globular, firm fleshed fruit that is mildly gritty textured at first bite, but gives way to intensely sweet, fragrant juice and tender white flesh more like the flesh of a good eating apple toward the core. Very small seeds, of any, present; usually of the cultivar Pyrus pyrifolia; they usually have a deeper tan-yellow skin that is matte and somewhat smooth and unblemished; sometimes they have the telltale "freckles" on them from the ripening process too.

They hold texture and flavor well in cooking, they're probably the most key ingredient to galbi-gui other than the beef itself, and they are fantastic in a salad of rocket, white wine vinegar, olive oil, scallion and herbs.

# ? Jan 12, 2021 04:56

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Kief Richards posted:

They're a somewhat large--probably 17cm around--globular, firm fleshed fruit that is mildly gritty textured at first bite, but gives way to intensely sweet, fragrant juice and tender white flesh more like the flesh of a good eating apple toward the core. Very small seeds, of any, present; usually of the cultivar Pyrus pyrifolia; they usually have a deeper tan-yellow skin that is matte and somewhat smooth and unblemished; sometimes they have the telltale "freckles" on them from the ripening process too.

They hold texture and flavor well in cooking, they're probably the most key ingredient to galbi-gui other than the beef itself, and they are fantastic in a salad of rocket, white wine vinegar, olive oil, scallion and herbs.

I've reviewed ur asian pear review and I give it a 4/5. v nice use of the semicolon

# ? Jan 12, 2021 05:13

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

I have Pear Opinions and I'm not afraid to make them known, online.

# ? Jan 12, 2021 05:25

Manifisto

I made a pear clafoutis over the holiday and boy howdy it was real good, esp. with whipped cream.

I might have used anjou if the market had good ones, but it ended up being bartlett. worked out real well anyway.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 12, 2021 07:37

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

There is a small brown pear, rough and hard, that I once ate.
It tasted of honey and I have never seen it's like since.
Did I dream of this pear? Or am I in the pears dream?

# ? Jan 12, 2021 09:17

hey mom its 420

are you planning to do a pomegranate review? thanks

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# ? Jan 12, 2021 10:41

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

RickRogers posted:

There is a small brown pear, rough and hard, that I once ate.
It tasted of honey and I have never seen it's like since.
Did I dream of this pear? Or am I in the pears dream?

Was it like this?

# ? Jan 12, 2021 12:50

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

I...I think so?????
It was small, hard and sweet, honey like and crunchy.

They were like the cheapest, penny-saver pear on the shelf as well, so no one seemed to think much of them. But I did.

In other pear news, I have a potted Abate Fetal pear tree that I am expecting to perform this year...or else.

# ? Jan 12, 2021 16:06

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

RickRogers posted:

I...I think so?????
It was small, hard and sweet, honey like and crunchy.

They were like the cheapest, penny-saver pear on the shelf as well, so no one seemed to think much of them. But I did.

In other pear news, I have a potted Abate Fetal pear tree that I am expecting to perform this year...or else.

I'll light a candle and say an extra pear for it.

# ? Jan 12, 2021 16:24

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:06

cruft

Kief Richards posted:

I'll light a candle and say an extra pear for it.

I don't want to quince words here, Kief Richards: there are clearly stated thread rules about puns. You don't want Beer Pal to get you banned over this lemon of a post, do you?

# ? Jan 12, 2021 18:38

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