Can you digest paper towel because I have an idea

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Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

# ? Jan 14, 2021 23:46

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 10:13

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

my parents dog seems to like em

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jan 14, 2021 23:51

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

anecdotal... but yes, I'll put that down as a point for the pro-digestible column!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:50

cruft

About how much paper towel are we talkin' about here, OP?

# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:59

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

one would think it not unresonable to label two wide "squares" (bounty brand size or similar, not store brands which tend to be very narrow) as a single portion or serving, no?

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:11

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

A commercial where a person swallows and passes a bounty paper towel, pulls it out of the toilet and tugs on it to show how strong bounty brand paper towels are.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:16

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

and then uses it to wipe with

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:18

cruft

mailorder bees! posted:

and then uses it to wipe with

The quicker picker-upper!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:21

nut

u can eat paper and a towel ipso facto

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:23

cruft

Plant MONSTER. posted:

one would think it not unresonable to label two wide "squares" (bounty brand size or similar, not store brands which tend to be very narrow) as a single portion or serving, no?

Okay, I don't understand what we're doing yet, but I like to help a BYOB pal out, so I ate two squares.

Preliminary results:

Requires a lot of water
Not as tasty as tortillas
Probably gonna skip dinner now
Verified: I can eat two paper towel squares
Pending: Digestion results

Stay tuned...

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:27

vanisher

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

A commercial where a person swallows and passes a bounty paper towel, pulls it out of the toilet and tugs on it to show how strong bounty brand paper towels are.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:57

nut

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

A commercial where a person swallows and passes a bounty paper towel, pulls it out of the toilet and tugs on it to show how strong bounty brand paper towels are.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:59

nut

eating a roll of brawny and drinking the entire Gatorade dispenser of blue fluid

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:59

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

lol do you think hair dressers ever look at the blue stuff their combs are in and say "haha thats my blue fluid, that's the blue fluid that came from me"

# ? Jan 15, 2021 02:09

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

NO WE CANT TALK ABOUT THAT NOW

We're here to discuss paper towel edibility for an idea I have.

So to the guy or (lady) who ate the paper towels earlier... did you make sure there were no chemicals like bleach or like wood alcohol idk

# ? Jan 15, 2021 02:10

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

ideally want something organic with minimal binders...

Mmm I can almost taste it now!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 02:11

cruft

Plant MONSTER. posted:

NO WE CANT TALK ABOUT THAT NOW

We're here to discuss paper towel edibility for an idea I have.

So to the guy or (lady) who ate the paper towels earlier... did you make sure there were no chemicals like bleach or like wood alcohol idk

No...

I just dug the wrapper out of the trash and it doesn't list nutrition facts... :ohdear:

# ? Jan 15, 2021 02:21

biosterous

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

A commercial where a person swallows and passes a bounty paper towel, pulls it out of the toilet and tugs on it to show how strong bounty brand paper towels are.

is this the "flossing" that kids were talking a bout like a year ago

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jan 15, 2021 02:45

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

it's 2am, you want baklava, but don't have any phyllo in the house

# ? Jan 15, 2021 03:01

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

cruft posted:

No...

I just dug the wrapper out of the trash and it doesn't list nutrition facts...

well worst case scenario is you go blind!

Buttchocks posted:

it's 2am, you want baklava, but don't have any phyllo in the house

oh ur getting so close to my idea

# ? Jan 15, 2021 03:03

vanisher

wait what's the idea

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Jan 15, 2021 04:14

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

are we talking edible plates

# ? Jan 15, 2021 04:45

cruft

Plant MONSTER. posted:

well worst case scenario is you go blind!

Update: still feeling pretty full, wish I could have had real dinner but just overall kinda meh about it. Everything else seems normal, about to go to bed.

Hope to have some answers about digestion in 10-16 hours, assuming my pooping schedule stays the same.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 04:53

spooky ghost

Plant MONSTER. posted:

well worst case scenario is you go blind!

oh ur getting so close to my idea

depending on what you're trying to do, i'd suggest organic rolling papers.
lotsa different sizes, and the material is thin enough that you'd be unlikely to have issues digesting it.

:drugnerd:

# ? Jan 15, 2021 17:41

Finger Prince

You can turn toilet paper into moonshine, if that helps.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 18:16

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

OP if your idea is use your body as a papier mache factory poop out papier mache trinkets, lemme tell ya, it stinks.

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 18:50

alexandriao

https://youtu.be/v-mWK_kcZMs

# ? Jan 15, 2021 18:51

Khanstant

just bu ya bidet PM. best part is the bidet doubles as a water fountain

# ? Jan 15, 2021 19:01

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

my plan is to make PAPER TOWEL JERKY

what you do is, using melted butter or meat drippings, u soak the paper towel in the melted stuff and then let it dry in light heat until the whole thing is crispy, these can then be bagged and sold as a delicious treat.

Maybe you'd need like two layers on top of eachother for sufficient thickness and crisp

Ever taste munchos? I imagine this would taste exactly like munchos.

Who is ready to make SOME MONEY with ME

# ? Jan 15, 2021 19:48

cruft

Oh, hi, OP.

Crapped an hour or so ago, so I'm thinking that's a "yes" on digestion, or at least ability to pass. I don't suppose I did a super job on breaking down cellulose, but I didn't really examine it, sorry.

Flavor was bad, gotta admit. Soaking in butter might do wonders.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 19:53

Finger Prince

Plant MONSTER. posted:

my plan is to make PAPER TOWEL JERKY

what you do is, using melted butter or meat drippings, u soak the paper towel in the melted stuff and then let it dry in light heat until the whole thing is crispy, these can then be bagged and sold as a delicious treat.

Maybe you'd need like two layers on top of eachother for sufficient thickness and crisp

Ever taste munchos? I imagine this would taste exactly like munchos.

Who is ready to make SOME MONEY with ME

I don't think you can make butter crispy. I've never seen crispy butter. Crispy cheese yes, crispy butter, no. Perhaps if you sealed the butter in cheese?

# ? Jan 15, 2021 20:09

nut

i can offer you $500, 000 for 15% equity

# ? Jan 15, 2021 20:11

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

As a plant monster, have you considered the moral implications of the cannibalism inherent in your consumption of paper?

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 20:31

Heather Papps: hello friend

i knew i was doing something wrong whenever i wiped gravy from my moustache and then disposed of the napkin. that was late night snacking gold!

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 20:35

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

I'm sure you can find a stand selling deep fried paper towels in either Scotland or an American state fair

# ? Jan 15, 2021 22:22

Finger Prince

In England they call it "kitchen roll".
Hmm...
Sausage roll...
Kitchen roll...
Could be on to something there.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 22:25

Khanstant

whatever, i still think your idea is to wipe from the inside out by eating paper towels

# ? Jan 15, 2021 23:36

cruft

cruft posted:

Oh, hi, OP.

Crapped an hour or so ago, so I'm thinking that's a "yes" on digestion, or at least ability to pass. I don't suppose I did a super job on breaking down cellulose, but I didn't really examine it, sorry.

Flavor was bad, gotta admit. Soaking in butter might do wonders.

Feeling a little distressed in the bowels right now, maybe this isn't a good idea after all.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 00:18

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

suck it up princess lol

# ? Jan 16, 2021 03:05

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 10:13

cruft

Plant MONSTER. posted:

suck it up princess lol

This could be a good slogan for your new product!

# ? Jan 16, 2021 03:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Can you digest paper towel because I have an idea

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