(Thread IKs:
bagmonkey)
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Tip posted:Back to poop talk: I'm buying a bidet You’re gonna love it
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Jan 16, 2021 04:02
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 02:34 |
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Tip posted:Back to poop talk: I'm buying a bidet Friend I would advise you to go all in and buy a Tushy brand bidet. It’s worth the extra cost—if only for the aggressively on brand spam they send you. These people care more about poop than I’ve ever cared about anything.
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Jan 16, 2021 04:05
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Friend I would advise you to go all in and buy a Tushy brand bidet. It’s worth the extra cost—if only for the aggressively on brand spam they send you. I looked at the Tushy but it doesn't seem to really offer anything over this $19 bidet: https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-U...11&s=hi&sr=1-16
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Jan 16, 2021 04:57
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Tip posted:I looked at the Tushy but it doesn't seem to really offer anything over this $19 bidet: Moen is a reputable brand. I would let them clean my b-hole.
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Jan 16, 2021 05:27
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Moen is a reputable brand. I would let them clean my b-hole. Well I trust my b-hole to UFFU. 
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Jan 16, 2021 08:31
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Jakabite posted:I thought anime was pronounced aneem til I was about 14 Same but like 34 Also I still feel waifu should be pronounced way foo like waif whenever I see it
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Jan 16, 2021 09:41
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ive seen people here write "an lol". like they mentally say the letters as an initialism instead of an acronym
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Jan 16, 2021 10:28
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sebmojo posted:Same but like 34 I also thought that for a while. I now pronounced it why-foo but tbh I'm not even sure that's right?
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Jan 16, 2021 11:34
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Jakabite posted:I also thought that for a while. I now pronounced it why-foo but tbh I'm not even sure that's right? yeah it's like a japanese person saying wife which makes sense, but!
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Jan 16, 2021 13:04
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it's pronounced wife-ew, or wife-ugh Sounds gross but that's Eigo (japanese slang for english language) for you
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Jan 16, 2021 13:14
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I;m thinking about thos waifus
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Jan 16, 2021 17:34
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Tip posted:Well I trust my b-hole to UFFU. Aw thank you. I trust my b-hole to UFFU, too. 
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Jan 16, 2021 19:33
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Also, here are some the aggressively on-brand emails that Tushy sends its customers. Their commitment to discussing fecal matters is staggering, even the context of this thread.  
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Jan 16, 2021 19:46
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Also, here are some the aggressively on-brand emails that Tushy sends its customers. Their commitment to discussing fecal matters is staggering, even the context of this thread. I don't want any more junk email, I donated money to Bernie Sanders which then put me on a million loving lists and now I get weird emails from DNC candidates constantly even though I mark them as spam. They all have subjects and names meant to trick you into clicking them, like I got an email from "Jaime" with a subject of "you up?" and I thought it was my ex but it turned out to be a fundraising email from Jaime Harrison.  Oh, and I ended up ditching the UFFU for a Veken because it was very similar but I could get it by Sunday. So hopefully by tomorrow evening my b-hole will be luxuriating in the spray of a brand new bidet.
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Jan 16, 2021 23:35
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Also, here are some the aggressively on-brand emails that Tushy sends its customers. Their commitment to discussing fecal matters is staggering, even the context of this thread. I like this. I want more of this in the world. This is the platform I will run on in 2052
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Jan 16, 2021 23:54
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Tip posted:I don't want any more junk email, I donated money to Bernie Sanders which then put me on a million loving lists and now I get weird emails from DNC candidates constantly even though I mark them as spam. It will change your loving life
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Jan 17, 2021 00:41
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I received my bidet and installed it, I didn't have to poop but I gave it a dry run (lol). My rear end is soaked, people who claim they dry with a couple squares of TP must have magical asses. So far it hasn't changed my life, but we'll see what I think after a real test of it. Also pretty happy with the model I bought, it fit perfectly and looks fancy.
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Jan 18, 2021 04:12
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Tip posted:My rear end is soaked
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Jan 18, 2021 04:29
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Tip posted:I received my bidet and installed it, I didn't have to poop but I gave it a dry run (lol). My rear end is soaked, people who claim they dry with a couple squares of TP must have magical asses. It's not like a sink, you don't need to drown your butthole in water. 4 squares usually does it for me
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Jan 18, 2021 05:57
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Contest idea: The first goon to post on page 1,000 gets a thousand hour probation. Mods?!
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Jan 18, 2021 20:07
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I am no longer sick.
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Jan 18, 2021 21:23
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Meme Poker Party posted:I am no longer sick. Don't be so hard on yourself, I still think you're hella sick.
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Jan 18, 2021 21:32
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Tip posted:Don't be so hard on yourself, I still think you're hella sick. That's... so nice of you to say... 
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Jan 18, 2021 21:48
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Tip posted:Don't be so hard on yourself, I still think you're hella sick. D'aaawwww. How's day 2 of the bidet lyfe?
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Jan 18, 2021 22:37
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MakaVillian posted:D'aaawwww. I haven't pooped once since I installed the bidet last night. For once I actually want to poop, and nothing. 
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Jan 18, 2021 22:48
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Tip posted:I haven't pooped once since I installed the bidet last night. For once I actually want to poop, and nothing. For once? Do you like... not enjoy pooping? Do you get no joy from pushing out a big fat log of poo poo, your rear end in a top hat stretching just the right amount until you're over the hump and the motion becomes a smooth expulsion?
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Jan 18, 2021 23:33
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Jakabite posted:For once? Do you like... not enjoy pooping? Do you get no joy from pushing out a big fat log of poo poo, your rear end in a top hat stretching just the right amount until you're over the hump and the motion becomes a smooth expulsion? Real poop talk: I only discovered I was lactose intolerant a few months ago, was having a real bad time before that.
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Jan 18, 2021 23:52
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Tip posted:Real poop talk: I only discovered I was lactose intolerant a few months ago, was having a real bad time before that. Oh drat. Can you still eat some stuff with low amounts of dairy, like hard cheeses (mmm manchego)
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Jan 19, 2021 00:41
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My body tried to turn lactose intolerant when I was young. I refused. The war was terrible, but I won in the end. Today I can freely consume milk and dairy with no side effects.
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Jan 19, 2021 00:48
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Meme Poker Party posted:My body tried to turn lactose intolerant when I was young. I refused. The war was terrible, but I won in the end. Today I can freely consume milk and dairy with no side effects. The great ones tell their body 'not today'
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Jan 19, 2021 01:10
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havent had milk in 2 weeks. next bowl of cereal is gonna be a day of grand farts
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Jan 19, 2021 01:31
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One of my house mate's dogs (so quasi-my dog too) stole TWO BAKED POTATOES tonight while I was in another room. I thought the potatoes were placed a secure distance from the edge of the counter but I was wrong. While putting food away I had to stop myself and think "I baked five potatoes... right???" and scan the kitchen for misplaced potatoes. Only then did the reality of the crime dawn on me. The offending dog was ears down and clearly burdened with a great sense of guilt over the dastardly deed. I will not underestimate his counter-thieving range again.
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Jan 19, 2021 04:30
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im doing my part!
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Jan 19, 2021 05:13
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Meme Poker Party posted:One of my house mate's dogs (so quasi-my dog too) stole TWO BAKED POTATOES tonight while I was in another room. I thought the potatoes were placed a secure distance from the edge of the counter but I was wrong. While putting food away I had to stop myself and think "I baked five potatoes... right???" and scan the kitchen for misplaced potatoes. Only then did the reality of the crime dawn on me. The offending dog was ears down and clearly burdened with a great sense of guilt over the dastardly deed. I will not underestimate his counter-thieving range again. A tale as old as time
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Jan 19, 2021 05:17
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Oh drat. Can you still eat some stuff with low amounts of dairy, like hard cheeses (mmm manchego) Meme Poker Party posted:My body tried to turn lactose intolerant when I was young. I refused. The war was terrible, but I won in the end. Today I can freely consume milk and dairy with no side effects. I love dairy so much that I tried to do this for a ridiculously long time. I wouldn't even entertain the idea of being lactose intolerant, I decided it must just be IBS or something. I had milk every day (and still do). It just continued to get worse for years so I eventually researched lactose intolerance and discovered that it didn't actually mean giving up on all dairy, turns out hard cheeses have very little lactose and you can drink ultra-pasteurized milk. Also there are lactase pills you can take with dairy, but they are a little bit of a gamble.
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Jan 19, 2021 08:31
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Meme Poker Party posted:One of my house mate's dogs (so quasi-my dog too) stole TWO BAKED POTATOES tonight while I was in another room. I thought the potatoes were placed a secure distance from the edge of the counter but I was wrong. While putting food away I had to stop myself and think "I baked five potatoes... right???" and scan the kitchen for misplaced potatoes. Only then did the reality of the crime dawn on me. The offending dog was ears down and clearly burdened with a great sense of guilt over the dastardly deed. I will not underestimate his counter-thieving range again. The night before Thanksgiving my Stepmom made 6 pies and left them on the counter over night. Thanksgiving day the pies were all still up there, but each one had a big bite taken out of it. loving dog ruined every pie, had to try every flavor. lol
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Jan 19, 2021 08:37
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33 hours until biden institutes mandatory gay marriage but im not ready to commit 
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Jan 19, 2021 14:45
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Has Biden done a Masterclass
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Jan 19, 2021 14:55
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gary oldmans diary posted:33 hours until biden institutes mandatory gay marriage but im not ready to commit I will never marry anyone who exists in three dimensions.
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Jan 19, 2021 17:47
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 02:34 |
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Tip posted:Real poop talk: I only discovered I was lactose intolerant a few months ago, was having a real bad time before that. oh poo poo Mad respect for any goon who goes to war with their rear end in a top hat though. Mine has been an essential allie in all of the wars I've fought so to fight a war not only without it, but against it... I can't even imagine.
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Jan 20, 2021 02:36
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