- Buttchocks
-
No, I like my hat, thanks.
|
Wouldn't stop pointing out historical anachronisms at the Post-Atomic Horror Festival
|
#
?
Jan 15, 2021 22:02
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2024 03:40
|
|
- mailorder bees
-
FLUFFERNUTTER
|
apparently telling the vulcan officer to "crank off and get over it" during pon farr is "insensitive"
thanks Manifisto!
|
|
#
?
Jan 15, 2021 22:21
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
Told the court martial I was just trying to get a plumber rump to get my [redacted redacted redacted] every night, but they still convicted!
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 17:33 on Jan 16, 2021
|
|
#
?
Jan 15, 2021 23:13
|
|
- Filthy Hans
-
by Fluffdaddy(and can't post for 10 years!)
|
I hosed a tribble
now I know that sounds bad out of context, but
edit: lol how did I get that tremendous dickhead sig at the bottom of my posts
----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 02:06
|
|
- mailorder bees
-
FLUFFERNUTTER
|
i drank odo
thanks Manifisto!
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 02:08
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
Apparently I caused a diplomatic incident when all I said was that I respect species all have different creeds and customs but that one planet where they have the death penalty for all crimes including walking on the grass is run by a bunch of fascist fuckwits who need to get laid.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 13:10
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
Streaked naked through the bridge while the captain was negotiating an important trade deal with a newly discovered species.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 14:57
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
Spent the entire warpdrive fuel budget for the month on avocado toast and caramel lattes.
Worth it.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 17:36
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
Screened Alien (1979) for the kids in the Officer's Mess and afterwards a lot of ensigns were afraid to leave their rooms.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 17:37
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
Brought the commodore his hemorrhoid medication just as he was giving a tour to the Klingon ambassador.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 17:41
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
Petted a cat while on a trade delegation to newly discovered planet but it was their emperor??
Give better background briefings next time!
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 17:49
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
I worked with the Fleet just after getting my engineering degree and let me tell you the whole organization is a mess.
Our ship launched two months late because a part we needed had to be bought from the lowest bidder even though they were in another dimension.
The captain fired the janitor after an argument over a poker game. Litter all over the corridors throughout our mission.
My boss was some jerk who called himself a "Project Manager" and knew nothing of what we did.
Some admiral's kid was an ensign and asked if 'we nerds' could make her butt look bigger in the videos for 'fans back home'.
Our pay was always late because the rules said the money has to be deposited in a bank at whatever star system were were in currently.
That warp drive? Looks nice enough. But then you learn the for-profit firms use ones two decades newer.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 18:06
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
I dared ask for an actual explanation of the ranks of Star Fleet, like what is there other than just Captain and Admiral and how does the chain of command really work, and they looked at me like I had just publicly sworn allegiance to Kronos. I swear I met a Major once but everybody says that's prehistoric nonsense???
The woman with the nose ridges? don't tell her i said this but she used to be a terrorist. but keep it on the downlow.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 18:58
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
Petted a cat while on a trade delegation to newly discovered planet but it was their emperor??
Give better background briefings next time!
lol
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 19:02
|
|
- BoldFrankensteinMir
-
|
I seriously don't know, alright??? We were scanning rocks. ROCKS. Planet full of 'em. Gotta go down and scan the rocks. Easy.
So then there's this blurry kinda energy... thing, right? That lives on this stupid rock planet? And all of the sudden, like with NO warning, I'm talking to FDR. Franklin fuckin' Delano fuckin' Roosevelt. Got the little cigarette holder and the glasses, he's in the wheelchair with the blanket, what the gently caress, right? And there's this door, like a community theater prop, on this rock planet, and he gives this little speech, yada yada yada, we're in 1944 Paris. I'll spare you the gory details, but in the end it turns out Ensign Guy, that dude with the bowl haircut? Turns out he was gonna be some kinda future fascist leader and I don't know, the blur monster had to see which one of us it was and I answered all the trivia questions about the constitution right so it wasn't me and the commander shot some Nazis so it wasn't him I guess, and we're back with the rocks, and they beam us up...
I don't know! Okay!? I don't know why this keeps happening, I've met Mark Twain, Stephen Hawking and Willam F. Tricorder and I think at least one of them was the real guy but I just can't tell anymore. I'm sorry "Ensign Guy was gonna be a double-Hitler" isn't a good enough explanation for you, I'm sorry, but that's what happened, that's what keeps happening, gently caress this. gently caress this, man.
Sig by Heather Papps
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 19:15
|
|
- Buttchocks
-
No, I like my hat, thanks.
|
jammed ultra-low-band subspace radio frequencies with non-stop podcasting
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 19:37
|
|
- Single and LOVING IT
-
The monkeys are coming. . .
|
Riker said it would be fine to invite Dr. Crusher to my PartyLite get-together in Ten Forward, and now I'm facing a general court martial, wtf
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 20:04
|
|
- Drink-Mix Man
-
You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
|
Mark Twain, Stephen Hawking and Willam F. Tricorder
Lol
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2021 22:13
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
Tried to slingshot round the orbit of a star to impress the ladies and got stuck in the sun! Help!
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 13:44
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
i asked "how do i get out of this chicken poo poo outfit?" and i was given UFP Form 24: Application to Transfer to the Civillian Service and i spent the morning filling it out. i get my discharge papers in a couple of weeks. sorry guys i'm not cut out for this, really.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 13:48
|
|
- Prof. Crocodile
-
|
I spoke up in a staff meeting to ask why the AI engineers keep making androids with blonde hair, pouty lips, and giant cans. Apparently that makes *me* the creepy one somehow.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 15:39
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
Asked for pineapple on my pizza at the cafeteria.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 17:17
|
|
- Buttchocks
-
No, I like my hat, thanks.
|
Installed truck nuts on the shuttlecraft, stirring confusion and concern among the alien crew that have internal genitalia
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 20:04
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
The USS Enterprise might not "roll coal" now, but it sure did for one fine day when I was chief engineer.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 21:14
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2024 03:40
|
|
- Prof. Crocodile
-
|
I drew a mustache on a Cheronian, with a sharpie and whiteout.
Installed truck nuts on the shuttlecraft, stirring confusion and concern among the alien crew that have internal genitalia
The USS Enterprise might not "roll coal" now, but it sure did for one fine day when I was chief engineer.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 21:59
|
|
#
?
Jan 15, 2021 22:02
