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It’s pardon day, the last day of a lame duck presidency when they hand out pardons like candy. We could all use a little pardoning. What did you do that deserves a presidential pardon? Me, I was low on food one fine pandemic day so I cooked a hot dog, not realizing we had no more buns. Improvising, I ate the hot dog in a tortilla. It was terrible and I’m sorry but I deserve a pardon because c’mon, I was hungry.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:12
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:48 |
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sexual indecency with a protected saguaro cactus
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Jan 19, 2021 18:19
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That gas station bathroom a few weeks back. The stench... I'm sorry your gas station/convenience store smelled terrible for a half hour.  Please pardon me!
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Jan 19, 2021 18:19
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Rockman Reserve posted:sexual indecency with a protected saguaro cactus same
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Jan 19, 2021 18:21
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running bulls.....through the vatican 
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Jan 19, 2021 18:23
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My posting
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Jan 19, 2021 18:25
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tbf it was a hell of a party
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Jan 19, 2021 18:25
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I did a shot for shot remake of Keyboard Goop with a Polaroid camera and mailed it to the mayor.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:26
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Eating rear end on federal land
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Jan 19, 2021 18:26
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Eating 2 much rear end
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Jan 19, 2021 18:27
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Pinche Rudo posted:Eating rear end on federal land We should get together. For crimes, not gay stuff.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:27
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They said petrified wood wouldn’t burn
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Jan 19, 2021 18:28
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I said "liberal" when i should have said "leftist." Oh wait, that's for the NEXT pardon day. Uhhh...I didn't take off my hat during the national anthem. In my defense, I was holding two beers.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:37
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Eating expired mayonnaise
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Jan 19, 2021 18:37
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Rockman Reserve posted:tbf it was a hell of a party you said it brother
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Jan 19, 2021 18:41
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poo poo my pants on federal property
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Jan 19, 2021 18:45
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Taking a really bad smelling poo poo. Which I'm doing right now.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:46
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Ate an entire package of Oreos while in my dentist's waiting room.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:48
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When the guy came to fix my furnace he offered a really overpriced duct cleaning process that used UV light and stuff. I told him "I'll check with your office to schedule something" but I never did, I was just humoring him.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:49
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:We should get together. But also gay stuff
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Jan 19, 2021 18:57
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Chicken hawking while hawking chickens.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:58
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I didn't mention my multiclassing in my tax return
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Jan 19, 2021 19:04
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I can’t top a hot dog burrito. I think you need to take a course in ethics if you think that’s pardonable. 
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Jan 19, 2021 19:08
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being half french canadian, op
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Jan 19, 2021 19:15
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Attitude like real down south baked salad woman
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Jan 19, 2021 19:16
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my french
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Jan 19, 2021 19:16
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Illegal porn
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Jan 19, 2021 19:17
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said mean things about a sitting president
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Jan 19, 2021 19:18
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stole chickens, shot crabs, chased girls
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Jan 19, 2021 19:25
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All my bad posts. I'm a good poster now 
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Jan 19, 2021 19:43
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I have thrown objects for my dog while looking in the opposite direction.  The Management posted:It’s pardon day, the last day of a lame duck presidency when they hand out pardons like candy. We could all use a little pardoning. What did you do that deserves a presidential pardon? I don't know if you're familiar with the goon Turtleicious, but he would often claim his bacon hot dog tortillas were amazing and we'd all have deep concerns about his health.
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Jan 19, 2021 19:45
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sometimes leaving a grocery item in the wrong place in a supermarket because i've changed my mind about it like i'll put a frozen or chilled thing back in the freezer/fridge respectively but it's still going to be something someone has to move later small chance someone will see it in the wrong place and impulse buy it, i sometimes fancy
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Jan 19, 2021 19:56
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every single traffic law i have ever broken in a car, on a motorcycle, or on a bicycle, or on foot.
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Jan 19, 2021 19:56
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In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
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Jan 19, 2021 19:57
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Mozi posted:my french Classic. I'm getting pardoned for secret reasons
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Jan 19, 2021 20:00
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the assassination of michael hastings
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Jan 19, 2021 20:03
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Flatulence in the 3rd degree and Pragmatic Malfeasance.
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Jan 19, 2021 20:05
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I put ketchup on a hotdog once just to hear a man scream
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Jan 19, 2021 20:08
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Party rocking.
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Jan 19, 2021 20:11
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:48 |
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I pooped really bad one time Like, really bad
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Jan 19, 2021 20:15
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