|
My mom told me all the time that she never wanted to be like her mom, but when i pointed out she was treating me the same way her mom did her, she said "well i like the way i turned out, so...."
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 07:33
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 06:02 |
|
|
To me, it feels kinda like a pendulum - if someone is raised pretty well and pretty happily - they'll probably want to do something fairly similar with their own kids, so no major swing in parenting/family behaviour happens. If their upbringing was hosed up in various ways, and they are strongly aware of that, they'll probably swing as hard as they can in another direction to avoid making those same mistakes, and if they have no good outside help or guidance, who the gently caress knows what direction they'll swing in, or how far they 'll go  Or they might just swing a little way back towards normal ("I only hit with a hand, no belt!") and because it's somewhat less terrible, it seems much better to them, instead of still terrible.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 09:55
|
|
|
We seem to have ourselves a future estranged parent poster... AITA for agreeing with my partner’s decision to make my daughter leave when she’s 18? quote:I (36F) have a 17 year old daughter. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 17:40
|
|
|
Sisal Two-Step posted:We seem to have ourselves a future estranged parent poster...  Both parents seem completely immature, and if the mom is even a relatively reliable narrator she still paints her boyfriend in a horrible light. He seems very controlling and the mom seems to enable it! Especially wrt, like you said, the fact that she is super vague about what her daughter is upset about (and seems to have never sat down to have a one-on-one w/her daughter about these issues, or if she has, that seems to be of little importance to her)Also lol at "no assholes" policy. If he really followed his code he'd walk out the door himself
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 22:38
|
|
|
Classic Comrade posted:Also lol at "no assholes" policy. If he really followed his code he'd walk out the door himself It's "no assholes", not "no rear end in a top hat". He's allowing one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwHGE7uhjco Ugh, I feel dirty after writing that.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 22:46
|
|
|
My mom's ex threw my sister out when she came out as a lesbian, even though it was my mom's house, his name wasn't on anything. She just let him. When called out later she said she didn't really want to let him, but she didn't want to lose him. They'd only been dating a couple years  So the golden child got kicked out and ended up on the street because she was gay, and then me the scapegoat wasn't allowed to leave the house at all because I was too stupid to think for myself and I needed to be protected from danger. LMAO pieces of loving poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2021 23:22
|
|
|
There's this kid that lives next door to me. His parents have him living in a travel trailer where our property lines meet. This kid lives in the poo poo. Dirty, cold and constantly getting yelled at by his parents. Constantly. He just turned 11. He invited me and my son over. To the trailer. I couldn't do it. I can't let my kid see that kind of dysfunction. Not yet at least. I got the kid a little $10 lego set for his birthday and he acted like it was loving treasure. I'm feeling really conflicted about what to do. Maybe it's just that I'm kind of in an emotional state right now but this is troubling me a lot recently. I'm having a really hard time knowing a kid is living like that. Like, here. Next to me. I talk to him and he's sweet. He just offered to fry us a tortilla as he was going inside to cook for himself. Blah.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 01:17
|
|
|
It's troubling to you because it's troubling.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 01:35
|
|
|
I've read that kids with poo poo families who have examples of what normal humans look and act like end up doing much better across the board. You probably helped that boy out just by being kind.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 01:39
|
|
|
That is probably all you can do short of calling child protective services. Keep demonstrating to the kid that kind and empathetic people who care about him exist in the world.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 01:52
|
|
|
Wouldn't calling cps be the right thing to do here?
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 02:00
|
|
|
Literally A Person posted:There's this kid that lives next door to me. His parents have him living in a travel trailer where our property lines meet. This kid lives in the poo poo. Dirty, cold and constantly getting yelled at by his parents. Constantly. He just turned 11. He invited me and my son over. To the trailer. I couldn't do it. I can't let my kid see that kind of dysfunction. Not yet at least. I got the kid a little $10 lego set for his birthday and he acted like it was loving treasure. I'm feeling really conflicted about what to do. Maybe it's just that I'm kind of in an emotional state right now but this is troubling me a lot recently. I'm having a really hard time knowing a kid is living like that. Like, here. Next to me. I talk to him and he's sweet. He just offered to fry us a tortilla as he was going inside to cook for himself. You take a few photos if you can get away with it and you contact CPS.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 02:07
|
|
|
Fatkraken posted:Wouldn't calling cps be the right thing to do here? That's where I'm torn. Dienes posted:You take a few photos if you can get away with it and you contact CPS. This seems right, right?
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 02:14
|
|
|
Literally A Person posted:There's this kid that lives next door to me. His parents have him living in a travel trailer where our property lines meet. This kid lives in the poo poo. Dirty, cold and constantly getting yelled at by his parents. Constantly. He just turned 11. He invited me and my son over. To the trailer. I couldn't do it. I can't let my kid see that kind of dysfunction. Not yet at least. I got the kid a little $10 lego set for his birthday and he acted like it was loving treasure. I'm feeling really conflicted about what to do. Maybe it's just that I'm kind of in an emotional state right now but this is troubling me a lot recently. I'm having a really hard time knowing a kid is living like that. Like, here. Next to me. I talk to him and he's sweet. He just offered to fry us a tortilla as he was going inside to cook for himself. Hi this is horrifying, i would call CPS if this was my neighbors kid Edit: just to be clear your neighbors will go ballistic, I would do it anyway though CPS does everything they can to keep kids with their parents or other family, short of your neighbors cooking meth they probably won't take away the kid, but there's a chance the kid will get a better life if he ends up with grandparents who care, or maybe it will be a wake-up call for the parents (doubtful) cinnamon rollout fucked around with this message at 14:17 on Jan 21, 2021 |
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 02:24
|
|
|
cinnamon rollout posted:Hi this is horrifying, i would call CPS if this was my neighbors kid Yeah, we (the fam) just talked and it looks like I'm gonna place a call tomorrow. I just can't deal with not doing anything.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 02:29
|
|
|
ElHuevoGrande posted:I've read that kids with poo poo families who have examples of what normal humans look and act like end up doing much better across the board. You probably helped that boy out just by being kind. Yeah, a lot of abused and neglected kids are isolated on top of everything else and grow up with no one to model healthy human relationships on. Even seemingly 'normal' looking kids get hosed up when disinterested or busy parents spend all day working and sitting in front of the TV and leave them to be raised by the internet, and then you get incel and alt-right feral children.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 07:11
|
|
|
Literally A Person posted:Yeah, we (the fam) just talked and it looks like I'm gonna place a call tomorrow. I just can't deal with not doing anything. WrenP-Complete fucked around with this message at 13:25 on Jan 21, 2021 |
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 12:46
|
|
|
Thank you, I too would 100% call CPS. You’re doing the right thing.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 13:16
|
|
|
ElHuevoGrande posted:I've read that kids with poo poo families who have examples of what normal humans look and act like end up doing much better across the board. You probably helped that boy out just by being kind. This is very true, I'm glad that kid has you as a neighbor, Literally A Person! I think you're doing the right thing, thank you for caring about him. I did something extremely stupid, I'm short on cash due to the ongoing pandemic and my mom offered to hire me for [my job]. I told her I bill hourly and somehow within the phone call she'd talked me into doing 3x the work for one billable hour (mostly yelling that she refuses to pay for more than one hour, but I have to do everything she says even if it takes longer). There's no way in hell I'm ever going to introduce her to my coworkers/team so I'm just doing this whole thing myself. Normally there's a formal process to invoice people but I've gone through extreme lengths to make sure my mom doesn't have the emails of anyone I work with, and she just keeps yelling she doesn't want me to pay taxes on whatever she pays me because "she already paid taxes on it". I am a dumb dumb and as soon as I got home Future Mrs Dan suggested she take up an extra shift instead of me doing... this. (She is a saint and absolutely doesn't have to, but I very much appreciate the thought). I just can't believe I got sucked into this dumb vortex. I'm still wondering if I should take the contract because like.... I need to eat food and buy medication and I went through this poo poo as a kid TO GET food & meds so why is this any different as an adult? Except getting underpaid and cutting into my work hours of course. This story sounds pretty dumb if you don't consider I have a terrifying hellmom who tried to take my passport away and trap me in a foreign country when I tried to go back to college. I think I'm worried it's still dumb and I should suck it up, albeit like, actually billing her properly?
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 13:54
|
|
|
is there any reason to believe she won't screw you over and will pay you at all?
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 14:04
|
|
|
Work for exactly one hour and then tell her to gently caress off.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 14:11
|
|
|
I'm not going to lie: I'm really grateful that my mother is dead. Dying was the best thing she could've done, in fact. Realistically, I mean: she was never going to be anything but a danger to my physical and mental health. I don't know how you guys in contact with your still-living nightmare parents manage.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 14:17
|
|
|
Distance and noncommittal answers to all questions, mainly.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 14:25
|
|
|
Haulin Oates posted:I'm not going to lie: I'm really grateful that my mother is dead. Dying was the best thing she could've done, in fact. Realistically, I mean: she was never going to be anything but a danger to my physical and mental health. I don't know how you guys in contact with your still-living nightmare parents manage. I am glad you finally have peace, at least. It's hosed up that we can, do and have to feel this way. I'm sorry your mom was terrifying too. Uh, I don't know why I'm actually in contact with my parents. Guilt, mostly. They don't know much about my actual life because I can talk a mile a minute and walk them all the way around it, because I'm their Entertainer. My therapist said that my ability to bullshit is a coping skill. Not a great one, but one that helped me survive. I'm starting to believe it.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 14:32
|
|
|
Haulin Oates posted:I'm not going to lie: I'm really grateful that my mother is dead. Dying was the best thing she could've done, in fact. Realistically, I mean: she was never going to be anything but a danger to my physical and mental health. I don't know how you guys in contact with your still-living nightmare parents manage. My dad keeps not dying and it's loving infuriating. He's 500 pounds, lives like oscar the grouch (bad disposition and surrounded by trash, not homeless) and he'll still be alive when the stars burn out.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 15:10
|
|
|
You got a good heart, LAP.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 15:35
|
|
|
Sisal Two-Step posted:You got a good heart, LAP. Just easily swayed by kids since I had one. Thank god we don't have girl scouts here or I'd be buying metric tons of cookies.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 16:17
|
|
|
Ghost Leviathan posted:Distance and noncommittal answers to all questions, mainly. God bless, you and everyone else dealing with their hurtful parents.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 19:02
|
|
|
Hello goons!!! I’ll be crossposting this a bit so apologies if it’s like “ugh this bitch again” Feels Good Man, a documentary on Matt Furie and him trying to take back his work, posted this which may be of interest or at least adjacent to this thread. It doesn’t necessarily have to be someone pilled, but those who are affected by it as well.  https://www.instagram.com/p/CKUSEakFJ1Y/?igshid=nmuk6f440agc
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 19:33
|
|
|
Harvey Mantaco posted:My dad keeps not dying and it's loving infuriating. He's 500 pounds, lives like oscar the grouch (bad disposition and surrounded by trash, not homeless) and he'll still be alive when the stars burn out. Same, mine's done crack, meth, lived on the street numerous times, intentionally crashes his cars out of rage, been to jail twice, like, why the gently caress is he still around? And I think maybe he is starting to die, which is why his kid exposed my phony social media name to him and he managed to contact me a year ago.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2021 20:18
|
|
|
WrenP-Complete posted:Edit: I think I wrote this as a dream... Or in the wrong thread..l 
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 01:00
|
|
|
Biplane posted:Work for exactly one hour and then tell her to gently caress off. I think this is exactly what I'm gonna do. Haulin Oates posted:I'm not going to lie: I'm really grateful that my mother is dead. Dying was the best thing she could've done, in fact. Realistically, I mean: she was never going to be anything but a danger to my physical and mental health. I don't know how you guys in contact with your still-living nightmare parents manage. I have to talk to my nightmare mom if I want to keep talking to my non-nightmare dad I just don't want to lose two parents when one of them is pretty good.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 02:18
|
|
|
https://twitter.com/MOOMANiBE/status/1352417284610953216
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 02:20
|
|
|
"I thought it was okay, then I got caught."
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 02:48
|
|
|
quote:AITA for telling my mom we haven’t had a good relationship in a long time and I wanted to go live with my dad? I’m so glad dad is going to fight for her.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 02:54
|
|
|
ohnobugs posted:"I thought it was okay, then I got caught." So how many of those parents would watch the Arkangel ep of Black Mirror miss the whole point?
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 02:56
|
|
wins.
|
Zoesdare posted:I’m so glad dad is going to fight for her. She needs to get off Reddit and leave this fuckin minute
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 03:49
|
|
|
Picnic Princess posted:She needs to get off Reddit and leave this fuckin minute Agreed. I think the mom has become super submissive to the stepdad, letting him and the stepson walk all over her. It's also telling as soon as she found out the the daughter and the father are serious she started freaking out, not when her daughter talked to her, or when it was obvious that the daughter was expected to sacrifice everything to the stepson. I think the daughter hit the nail on the head when she said they were more concerned about the child support income than her.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 12:21
|
|
|
Picnic Princess posted:She needs to get off Reddit and leave this fuckin minute Absolutely, she's got a good window for escape, take your pets/homework and leave while it's still good!
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 13:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 06:02 |
|
|
Zoesdare posted:I said let’s face facts here, you don’t care about me, what you care about is losing the child support you spend on your son. He sort of went slack jawed and I walked off. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 15:28
|
|
