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Tracks pretty well with how many liberal boomers immediately balk at putting literally any money or effort towards actually helping people.
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Jan 25, 2021 10:11
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I'm going to meet my girlfriend's lovely and abusive parents next weekend. Oh boy. Basically, my girl's Dad and exact quote: "Saw a UFO during the summer of 2016 and just...lost it". Dude quit his relatively well paying job to go down the QAnon rabbit hole. It would not surprise me if this man is suffering from full-blown late onset schizophrenia. Basically, obsessed with conspiracy theory, refuses to get a job because that would "playing their game", has been moving his wife to a series of increasingly shittier apartments as they struggle along on welfare. Her mother is bipolar depressive, also unemployed, and recently had 4 tumors in her head biopsied...and then silence. My gut feeling is her mother is on the way out, and I'll see if that assumption holds up when I meet them. Thankfully, one of the brother's definitely has his poo poo together and seems like a good dude. Another brother is a bonified piece of poo poo. It's gonna be an experience, but we're limiting the contact to one day (and definitely not staying in their house holy poo poo). My girlfriend's emotional and sometimes physical abuse at the hands of her lovely family is pretty evident to me - super light sleeper, loud noises freak her out, anxiety. Despite that, she's a solid, sane, kind, weird and wonderful woman who I love. And even if her family really is the dumpster fire she's telling me they are, not like I have to put with them (we live far away from them).
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Jan 25, 2021 10:19
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Tracks pretty well with how many liberal boomers immediately balk at putting literally any money or effort towards actually helping people. This is my hoarder stepmother. Dad's in the crazy Republican camp. I don't know why they're married they have nothing in common except that they're both assholes. A Festivus Miracle posted:bonified piece of poo poo 
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Jan 25, 2021 10:55
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My mom's a centrist 80s Style Business Feminist and she has weaponized every aspect of that in her day to day bullshit, like screaming "how can I be homophobic?! My roommate was gay and I never cared what he did" whilst misgendering me and insisting I actually like men Update on my bad idea of taking on my mom as one of my clients, she called me during work hours to scream for an hour and a half, so I told her I can't take her job because of the screaming, so she screamed some more about how I'm only doing this specifically to hurt her. Then she told me to drop all my other clients to only work on her stuff. Then she told me all my coworkers were idiots and nobody can do [specific job] except me, for some reason, which is insane. Then she yelled that SHE'LL just go learn how to do [job] herself, which I said was probably a good idea. That wasn't the right response though because she kept yelling. It was like watching the Wicked Witch of the West melt. At one point she told me I'd "rather die than help her" which sucks because I told her I was taking her gig to buy my staying-alive medication. Plus it's not "help", it's my actual day job. Then she dug into me for dying, I guess. I don't know why I expected this to be any different Something has loving changed in me though, my mom mocking my medical condition and saying that me securing more clients/applying for suitable jobs is "just to hurt her" sounds so goddamn insane I can't even lie to myself any more. Most people's moms don't scream at them for having a job I assume. I haven't talked to either of my parents since. Something about my mom turns me from a normal adult into a scared teenager and that is just not the poo poo I'm trying to take with me into work. Or life. Christ. (Thankfully I have a good dad and nice future-in-laws) A Festivus Miracle posted:Basically, my girl's Dad and exact quote: "Saw a UFO during the summer of 2016 and just...lost it". I'm so sorry about this, the Q rabbit hole fucks people up so bad. I don't know if this is helpful, but the Coast Guard / Navy actually DID confirm a bunch of UFOs (not aliens, like actual unidentified objects) flying almost every since night that year all up and down the East Coast. My girlfriend's brother thought he was going loving insane until he had a bunch of people confirm. I can't imagine how that might gently caress with me if I was already paranoid. Lieutenant Dan fucked around with this message at 13:17 on Jan 25, 2021 |
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Jan 25, 2021 12:55
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My parents and step mother have tried (with some success) to open credit cards and cell phone plans using my and my sisters identities. I've had a freeze on my credit for nearly a decade and they try to see if I've unfroze it every year or so. The other day I was looking at my credit karma account and got a targeted ad that said something like "Congratulations on your mortgage application for your home in [parent's zip code]." I remembered getting a piece of mail from Experian but didn't really think much of it because it looked like a unimportant piece of mail. I dug that out and the letter says that someone in my parents city, in my parents zip code, had applied for a mortgage but it was stopped because I had the freeze. So, I called my father and told him to stop or I'd get the police involved. He said that's not true and told me I could never prove it. I sent him pictures of the mail and Credit Karma screenshot, he said that he know I'm "good at computers" and I fabricated the mail and targeted ad. I talked to my oldest sister after and she said that they do the same to her but she hasn't recovered from the time they took out a $3000 loan in my sisters name. She said she just lets it happen now because they'll never get approved because her credit is so bad at this point. Kief Richards posted:My parents would do sleep dep stuff but I haven't posted about it. Mostly they would wake me up in the middle of the night to scream at me and make me clean things to their standards My dad would do this too. The one incident I remember most vividly was the time he woke me up by pulling me out of bed by my arm and screaming at me. He dragged me in to the bathroom to make me close the toilet lid. Not the seat, the lid.
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Jan 25, 2021 13:50
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Tracks pretty well with how many liberal boomers immediately balk at putting literally any money or effort towards actually helping people. Yeah, my dad's a leftie former hippie and has generally admirable beliefs but he also has a cluster B personality disorder from an extremely abusive childhood. He's cheap as gently caress, e.g. when he's forced to leave a tip (because people are watching) it's so low it's more insulting than not having tipped at all. But at the same time he's a lifelong recycler, composter, tree planter and genuinely cares about the environment even if he has secret contempt for all walking creatures that reside in it. edit: vvv fwiw I think your intuition was correct that estrangement skews right, it's just that this is a biased sample, the forum skews left and we're somewhat more likely to have had liberal parents than the general population. indiscriminately fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Jan 25, 2021 |
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Jan 25, 2021 16:14
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Seems like it's a real mixture of both. I think it's interesting because anecdotally from the greater internet/advice columns/reddit etc you seem to see a lot of right leaning parents and here as well as with my family and people I know I saw a lot of left leaning parents... I was just kinda curious about that dynamic as a whole.
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Jan 25, 2021 16:19
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my parents vote for the only slightly fascist party
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Jan 25, 2021 16:33
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My parents are extremely right wing, and also individually terrible people, and both are reasons for me not talking to them anymore.
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Jan 25, 2021 16:54
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In the Washington Post! I cut off all contact with my mother. It made my life much better.quote:At our holiday table this winter, no one stalked from the table in a huff or went home crying. My husband and I, my 86-year-old father, our younger daughter, home from grad school, and another couple shared a lovely and low-key dinner. And we have family estrangement to thank for that. Last night, when I was lying in bed with the light off, I said "My father was emotionally abusive." For the first time. It resonated in the silence.
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Jan 25, 2021 17:15
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My parents don't vote because their cult tells them not to. You could find out what they believe on any given subject by going to the Jehovah's Witness website.
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Jan 25, 2021 17:17
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Arsenic Lupin posted:In the Washington Post! I cut off all contact with my mother. It made my life much better. I'm proud of you for making it here, and gently caress your dad for being abusive, goon.
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Jan 25, 2021 17:44
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i still to this day cannont figure out how- or more importantly, why two people as severely mentally ill as my boomer parents got married, had 4 children, and ugly divorced, all in the span of 15 years
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Jan 25, 2021 17:45
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boar guy posted:i still to this day cannont figure out how- or more importantly, why two people as severely mentally ill as my boomer parents got married, had 4 children, and ugly divorced, all in the span of 15 years Our parents' generations got married and had kids solely because they were taught all their lives it was the thing you had to do.
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Jan 25, 2021 17:47
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Our parents' generations got married and had kids solely because they were taught all their lives it was the thing you had to do. that and also if either of your parents comes from an abusive family they're more likely to get into abusive relationships themselves, especially if they haven't worked on recovering from their trauma. then the trauma just gets passed down to their kids too! wholesome fun for the whole family.
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Jan 25, 2021 18:09
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My stepmom went full QAnon despite having Jewish step children working academia and the federal government. Which sucks but she's been getting increasingly right-wing and making self destructive choices for years, so it's easier to deal with than if it came out of nowhere. Pretty mush settled the whether to go no contact question. On the other hand QAnon has brought my grandma back from a soft estrangement. Grandma is Jewish and had been getting further and further right-wing. She voted Trump in 2016 because he'd be good for the economy and good for Israel. When she finally got on facebook during the pandemic I was worried she'd get sucked in to QAnon as well. Fortunately, she immediately recognized QAnon as the same anti-semetic bullshit she'd seen all her life and bounced off hard. She still has lots of problematic views but it's making her reconsider a lot of her right wing politics. She voted Biden and for Warnock and Ossoff this past election.
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Jan 25, 2021 18:41
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My mom wasn't political, I think because she was born in the soviet bloc. Her oldest brother isn't full QAnon but I still had to turn off FB notifications from him. He also enlisted to fight in Vietnam twice, he has done feelings about communism. The other uncle is, or was, a member of the John Birch Society. My mom's younger sister moved to Israel, I think; regardless, she's very pro-Israel. My dad, an American-born liberal, always got a perverse kick out of my mom's siblings being so right-wing, especially since as immigrants they're one of the groups reviled by their own party.
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Jan 25, 2021 19:04
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Our parents' generations got married and had kids solely because they were taught all their lives it was the thing you had to do.
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Jan 25, 2021 19:16
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There's a conservative mindset that what matters is quantity of life, not quality. Keep pumping out more babies, whether you're equipped for them or not. It's a sin for someone to end their life on their terms, doesn't matter if it's euthanasia or a DNR order. Not having children is a moral failing, if it was by chance or choice.
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Jan 25, 2021 20:22
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well until like 100 years ago most of your kids would die before adulthood so pumping them out was pretty necessary
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Jan 25, 2021 20:31
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I honestly have no clue why my parents got married and how they made it last for 12 years. Thankfully, their divorce was amicable. My grandparents were married for sixty years and loving hated each other. I honestly think my grandfather lived (an increasingly senile) two years after the fact as a gently caress you to the old ball and chain.
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Jan 25, 2021 20:37
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Mine married and stayed together for 8 years until attempted murdered happened thanks to Catholicism
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Jan 25, 2021 21:20
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My parents are also still married due to Catholicism. 
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Jan 25, 2021 21:58
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My step-dad is one of those "all politicians are garbage" grumps who will rant about any given news item given the slightest provocation, but he is also a genuinely kind and gentle man. My sister and I were both teens when my mom first introduced her new boyfriend, and though I couldn't express why, I felt there was something fundamentally wrong with her introducing a man who resembled my father on the surface. I eventually came around on him, but it wasn't until I was talking with my mom on Christmas morning that she told me this was what had attracted her to him in the first place. He'd always speak his mind and would vent whenever he needed to without shouting abuse at anyone, whereas my dad was an explosive-tempered alcoholic who would just let the pressure build up and direct all his anger at whoever had the misfortune of letting the dam burst. It was also my step-dad who finally broke my mom's pattern of abuse at her workplace; she had several lovely bosses in a row, and all of them immediately would fixate on her as an ideal scapegoat, using that sixth sense I am convinced abusers have. He kept trying to support her through it, but when one boss got laid off or promoted away, another, shittier one would take their place, until she ended up having to go on sick leave due to stress. She had made reports to HR, but the supervisor would always take a "neutral" stance and refused to meet my mother without having the abusive boss present. My step-dad researched the company's corporate policy, typed up a detailed report of the harassment and abuse she'd suffered since the day her current boss started, and gave it to her, saying she should submit it up every single rung of the HR ladder until someone took it seriously, and he'd do it himself if she wouldn't. She submitted it, and once it made it past her immediate HR supervisor, said supervisor was fired on the spot and she was promoted to a different department and is actually happy at work for the first time in years. That's kind of a tangent, but the point I'm trying to arrive at is that my mom and dad were both social democrats and it was terrible, while my step-dad is an apolitical grump, which is not great, but he is absolutely perfect for my mom.
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Jan 25, 2021 22:07
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:That's kind of a tangent, but the point I'm trying to arrive at is that my mom and dad were both social democrats and it was terrible, while my step-dad is an apolitical grump, which is not great, but he is absolutely perfect for my mom. Not to minimize your experiences, but I think from a personality trait perspective, alcoholic trumps social democrat.
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Jan 25, 2021 22:37
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Well yeah, that's the conclusion I'm going for; there are a lot of things that end up superceding political views.
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Jan 25, 2021 22:41
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Needed to share a win with someone and I think you all will appreciate this. Huge victory, but also suicide mention, so viewer discretion and all that. 2020 was the first year since I’ve been able to form memories (so, since 1996) that I didn’t make a specific plan to kill myself. Admittedly the early ones were dumb, but they were specific (piling all my bath toys on my back and trying to drown in the bathtub was the first plan I remember trying to carry out). Hilarious in hindsight but only to me, because laughing at that kind of insane fuckery is a common coping skill. It has been explained to me that this is basically the mental health equivalent of relentless and rigorous treatment providing *a cure* after living with a terminal condition for decades. One I was expressly given *on purpose.* My mother can rot in hell. I am winning a fight that was set up specifically to be impossible. I am the only worthwhile thing that evil piece of poo poo has ever helped create in her god drat life. I am loving happy this January and I have god drat earned it. The last half of 2020 I put myself first and fought off the conditioning; another goon’s post here about being autistic but undiagnosed + treated as defective + trained to be servile really struck a chord because holy poo poo me too. 2021 will be more of the same. Every day in every way I am working my rear end off and getting better and better.
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Jan 25, 2021 23:38
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I may be just some goon on a dying website, but goddammit, I am proud of you. It's not easy work, but keep at it.
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Jan 26, 2021 03:02
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I genuinely have a tear in my eye. 2020, the worst year most of us have seen, and not only did you get through it--you THRIVED
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Jan 26, 2021 03:17
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Awesome!! Loved that post Axqu, you rock.
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Jan 26, 2021 03:36
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Axqu you're doing fuckin awesome. Here's to you making your 2021 just as awesome as you are!
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Jan 26, 2021 03:42
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Axqu posted:Needed to share a win with someone... Hell yeah, putting one in the 'w' column after a bad run is awesome. You're doing great and I hope 2021 is even better.
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Jan 26, 2021 13:54
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Axqu you own, keep rocking this year too  Toss me some of that confidence so I can maybe figure out why I don't regulate emotions properly or have any ability to look at things realistically once I'm too close to the situation, I could use a good year too. Being a 40-year-old teenage girl against my will is really very exhausting
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Jan 26, 2021 15:29
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All this Claudia Conway stuff makes me so sad. I hope she gets to leave that horrible household. I can't imagine having such a terrifying mom as hers.
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Jan 26, 2021 17:09
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What a villain! Shameless lying propagandist for a sociopath wannabe autocrat, oh and also a child abuser. I don't know whether Kellyanne Conway being a public figure is an advantage or disadvantage to her daughter freeing herself. On one hand it's easier to expose her abuse as there's media interest in Conway but on the other hand she's a powerful, connected person.
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Jan 26, 2021 17:22
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indiscriminately posted:What a villain! Shameless lying propagandist for a sociopath wannabe autocrat, oh and also a child abuser. I don't know whether Kellyanne Conway being a public figure is an advantage or disadvantage to her daughter freeing herself. On one hand it's easier to expose her abuse as there's media interest in Conway but on the other hand she's a powerful, connected person. think it's a disadvantage; iirc she's tried to become an emancipated minor before and her mom's connections hosed with that edit: https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1354061403104145409?s=20 hoooooly gently caress Classic Comrade fucked around with this message at 18:40 on Jan 26, 2021 |
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Jan 26, 2021 18:24
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indiscriminately posted:What a villain! Shameless lying propagandist for a sociopath wannabe autocrat, oh and also a child abuser. I don't know whether Kellyanne Conway being a public figure is an advantage or disadvantage to her daughter freeing herself. On one hand it's easier to expose her abuse as there's media interest in Conway but on the other hand she's a powerful, connected person. Disadvantage. Kellyann Conway is rich, white and connected and can probably keep her daughter captive forever.
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Jan 26, 2021 18:29
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Thanks everyone. Means a lot to have such an outpouring of support from folks who get it.
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Jan 26, 2021 19:27
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Woo hoo congrats Axqu!TheKennedys posted:Axqu you own, keep rocking this year too Yeah wtf I'm in the same boat. I either feel nothing at all or Too Much. I wish I could have a mild disagreement without freezing up and then crying ten minutes after it's over.
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Jan 26, 2021 22:11
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Classic Comrade posted:edit: Right now it looks like Kellyanne took a picture of her daughter's screen, possibly for later blackmail material, only to end up accidentally posting it to the Twitter equivalent of stories. Claudia's posts that were very upset about this have been deleted. She has since posted that she is taking a break from social media, definitely of her own free will, she extremely doesn't want anyone to call the police, and there's absolutely no one standing behind the camera making her say that so everyone just needs to calm down and accept that she actually loves her mom very much. 
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Jan 26, 2021 22:59
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