Let's Rename Human Toes

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BoldFrankensteinMir

The finger names kinda make sense, sort of. "Thumb" is dumb but "pointer"? Sure, that's relatable. "Middle" is boring but also relatable, as is "ring" in Western cultures at least. "Pinkie" I've always assumed was some kind of sex reference, but at least it's diminutive with that "ie" at the end.

All in all, not great, but not terrible either. But then you get to the toes...

"Big" toe is the only one that isn't named after its finger equivalent and it's the best for it. You wouldn't call your thumb the "big finger", because it's probably not unless you have severely different hands than most people. "Pointer" toes, however, are stupid; pointing to what??? "Index" toe makes even less sense. Meanwhile "middle" toe is again incredibly bland but at least honest, while a "ring" toe, I don't know, if it does have cultural reinforcement it's real light. And then there's the "pinkie" toe, which I can't even come to a lewd theory about. If you can fit your pinkie toe anywhere pink on yourself comfortably, there is a career waiting for you in adult films.

Clearly the toes could use some new names of their own, so let's brainstorm some. What if we changed...

Big toe -> Emperor toe
Pointer toe -> Scout toe
Middle toe -> The other bird
Ring toe -> Bonus toe
Pinkie toe -> Smash toe

# ? Jan 24, 2021 19:46

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 05:17

Finger Prince

Market toe, home toe, roast beef toe, hungry toe, wee wee wee toe.

# ? Jan 24, 2021 20:41

google THIS

Finger Prince posted:

Market toe, home toe, roast beef toe, hungry toe, wee wee wee toe.

# ? Jan 24, 2021 22:11

Stoner Sloth

Finger Prince posted:

Market toe, home toe, roast beef toe, hungry toe, wee wee wee toe.

funnily enough at least one hospital in the UK was using this to identify individual toes (since there is no proper medical name for them) for x-rays so you'd get patient notes like

'x-ray, left foot, roast beef and none'

(e: remember reading this in a book about medical mistakes and think it was during the 80's or early 90's so no idea if this still happens)

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# ? Jan 24, 2021 22:18

BlueDekuNuts

Stoner Sloth posted:

funnily enough at least one hospital in the UK was using this to identify individual toes (since there is no proper medical name for them) for x-rays so you'd get patient notes like

'x-ray, left foot, roast beef and none'

(e: remember reading this in a book about medical mistakes and think it was during the 80's or early 90's so no idea if this still happens)

"Damnit, we lost another wee wee wee. I need duct tape, stat!"

Avatar and Sig by: Me

# ? Jan 24, 2021 22:39

BoldFrankensteinMir

You can tell it's the home toe without looking, because it has two ridges for your index fingers to always return to.

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 24, 2021 22:45

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Stoner Sloth posted:

funnily enough at least one hospital in the UK was using this to identify individual toes (since there is no proper medical name for them) for x-rays so you'd get patient notes like

'x-ray, left foot, roast beef and none'

(e: remember reading this in a book about medical mistakes and think it was during the 80's or early 90's so no idea if this still happens)

I do not want a doctor referring to my anatomy by cuts of meat.

# ? Jan 24, 2021 23:45

Finger Prince

Buttchocks posted:

I do not want a doctor referring to my anatomy by cuts of meat.

Pulled my brisket lifting weights.

# ? Jan 25, 2021 00:00

google THIS

Big, second, third, fourth, pinky

# ? Jan 25, 2021 00:06

google THIS

That seemed logical until I typed it out and I now realize that it's anarchy

# ? Jan 25, 2021 00:07

BoldFrankensteinMir

Big toe, Long toe, Medium toe, Other Medium toe, Short toe

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 25, 2021 00:26

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

John, George, Paul, Ringo, Yoko

# ? Jan 25, 2021 02:12

BoldFrankensteinMir

Original, Code Red, Livewire, Voltage, and Baja Blast

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 25, 2021 02:14

Finger Prince

Jim-Bob, Jethro, Bubba, Randy, Cooter, Cletus

# ? Jan 25, 2021 02:22

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Stoner Sloth posted:

funnily enough at least one hospital in the UK was using this to identify individual toes (since there is no proper medical name for them) for x-rays so you'd get patient notes like

'x-ray, left foot, roast beef and none'

(e: remember reading this in a book about medical mistakes and think it was during the 80's or early 90's so no idea if this still happens)

sir, it's your roast beef. i've consulted with the head of podiatry and he concurs that we'll...have to remove your roast beef. i'm so sorry, sir

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Jan 25, 2021 02:32

Heather Papps: hello friend

my little toe never touches the ground so i call that one the "floater"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jan 25, 2021 03:11

google THIS

Excuse me, my "hamstring?" I'll think you not to get familiar

# ? Jan 25, 2021 03:20

google THIS

Dr. Lecter over here creeping on my "liver," wtf is a hepatologist anyway doesn't even sound real

# ? Jan 25, 2021 03:23

Heather Papps: hello friend

in honour of jrr tolkens seminal masterpiece "the hobbit" the largest toe will now be known clinically as a "Bilbo"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jan 25, 2021 03:35

BoldFrankensteinMir

Heather Papps posted:

in honour of jrr tolkens seminal masterpiece "the hobbit" the largest toe will now be known clinically as a "Bilbo"

Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That's what Big Toe Baggins hates!

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 25, 2021 04:48

FutonForensic

it would be an improvement if the four lesser toes were fused together into one durable megatoe

# ? Jan 25, 2021 05:40

alnilam

Finger Prince posted:

Market toe, home toe, roast beef toe, hungry toe, wee wee wee toe.

Came here from thread title alone to post this and am pleased it was post #2

# ? Jan 25, 2021 05:51

alnilam

Big thick nail
The middle 3
Tiny hosed up nail that curves upwards kinda

# ? Jan 25, 2021 05:54

BoldFrankensteinMir

Do people with 6 toes get an extra little piggie in the rhyme?

...and this little piggie went wee wee wee, all the way home.
...and THIS little piggie went ciao ciao ciao, vacationing in Rome.

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 25, 2021 06:20

alnilam

And this little piggy... they all laughed at this little piggy back at the academy, didn't they. But... heh but who's laughing now! *lightning crash* *pulls away sheet to reveal steaming plate of artificial roast beef*

# ? Jan 25, 2021 06:48

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Big Pete, Wiggles, Firminon, Smithers, Rascal Boy

# ? Jan 25, 2021 15:22

BoldFrankensteinMir

Tiamat red
Tiamat green
Tiamat blue
Tiamat black
Tiamat white

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 25, 2021 15:46

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

let's call em "spankies"

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Jan 25, 2021 21:00

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

"foot sausages"

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# ? Jan 25, 2021 21:49

Finger Prince

Nosfereefer posted:

"foot sausages"

Bratwurst, chorizo, andouille, Cumberland, hot dog

# ? Jan 25, 2021 22:04

nut

Finger Prince posted:

Market toe, home toe, roast beef toe, hungry toe, wee wee wee toe.

# ? Jan 26, 2021 13:35

nut

which one is the camel

# ? Jan 26, 2021 13:36

Finger Prince

nut posted:

which one is the camel

In between the left and right market toes.

# ? Jan 26, 2021 15:57

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

So we're just gonna completely bypass the Dis Liddle Piddy Committee and not even give them a heads up?

Alright, since we call cat's feets "beans" then I propose...

HUMAN BEANS.

I'll see myself out the window

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Jan 27, 2021 07:19

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Hubertus, Codex, Chuck, Lister, Li'l Dunson.

# ? Jan 28, 2021 21:07

BoldFrankensteinMir

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe and Larry

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 28, 2021 21:22

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

i propose that we rename the little toe "baldrick", as its functionally useless and tend to get injured

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# ? Jan 28, 2021 21:50

BoldFrankensteinMir

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

HUMAN BEANS.

Nosfereefer posted:

i propose that we rename the little toe "baldrick", as its functionally useless and tend to get injured

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 28, 2021 21:52

Manifisto

toe, toe too, toe too too, toe with a vengeance, the toe formerly known as pinky

sadly toe too may no longer be lightheartedly referred to as "electric boogaloo"

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 28, 2021 21:52

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 05:17

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

HUMAN BEANS.

mods, namechange plz

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# ? Jan 28, 2021 21:55

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