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Woofer posted:I even went on the first date I had been on in years. YEARS!!!!! I read your entire post a few times, was quite disturbed by it. You're not alone though, while most if not all of us are not professionals in psychiatry, it's ok to vent. But please do seek professional help if you find yourself in that dark hole again, I've done it and continue to do it. It really does help, wouldn't lie to you about that. I also spent thanksgiving alone, even had some cup of noodles and microwave french fries with the fancy ketchup! There are 10,000's of people in this community, its more of a family really (yes we all don't get along sometimes). But if you're into video games or other hobbies, you can definitely find it here as well as all the official discords that are available for goons. OH! I quoted this because we would like to know how your date went and if you have future dates planned with this person?
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Dec 3, 2020 12:14
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I appreciate it. I just reached the end of my rope for some reason yesterday. I’m taking a tolerance break from the devil’s lettuce and it’s definitely having an affect. I haven’t gotten any sleep in a few days and when that happens it just makes things worse. That rant was kind of the result. It was all true, it was just exasperated by fatigue and just being fed up with 2020. I also take the stupid poo poo going on in the world pretty seriously. I’m not a super patriotic dude but watching a group of fascists trying to take over the country and undermine the election really, really pisses me off. Especially since the response seems to be just “let’s wait it out.” E: also the date went well, if a bit awkward. But it was a good time. We might go out again when the world is inhabitable again. E2: it may also be worth mentioning that my best friend (who I’m close enough with to have even referred to as my girlfriend in the past) got hit by a goddamn metro train in January and that’s how the year started for me. This year loving SUCKED. She lived and went though months of recovery, including an increase in her seizures (she’s epileptic), and she still won’t go near a metro station. Woofer fucked around with this message at 13:59 on Dec 3, 2020 |
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Dec 3, 2020 13:37
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Kind of silly to worry about who is politically running the country imo. Especially since it will run with or without a president. There is an agenda, regardless of party.
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Dec 4, 2020 19:11
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This isn't the thread to tell people how to feel or what they are feeling is wrong.
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Dec 5, 2020 02:56
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Edit here My friends, my sister, my neighbors are eating COVID. My GFs daughter is a doctor, and she is front-line. She lives with us. She is breaking down mentally and I try to support her, but there is no relevance. How can I help a kid who watches people die every day? Booger Presley fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Dec 5, 2020 |
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Dec 5, 2020 14:04
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Booger Presley posted:Edit here This largely depends on what kind of doc she is and what specifically is causing the break down. One of the problems health care workers are facing is not the death toll. Its that they see the mortality side of it and either they turn around and see all the idiots in the Republican Party handwaving/disputing/ignoring basic and simple measures, or the actual people they are watching die deny it right up to the point they go comatose. If thats the case, then unfortunately you can't do much other than keep supporting her the best you can and remind her that vaccines are on the way along with a new, more responsible administration. If its just the mortality that upsets her, then she may need to consider a specialty change or possibly move to research/teaching instead of actual patient care. If you know her facility, you might want to check with their employee resource or Chaplin services to find out what kind of counseling services they have for staff. Some medical groups have a referral service and they should be able to provide you a list with out you actually telling them the employee's name. There are counseling services geared towards healthcare providers, similar to how there are providers who specialize in combat veterans.
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Dec 6, 2020 04:13
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Sarah posted:This isn't the thread to tell people how to feel or what they are feeling is wrong. You're absolutely right, I rescind my statement. I'll be more thoughtful and better choose my words. Didnt mean it like an attack at all. It does read like that though and I apologize.
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Dec 6, 2020 11:41
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Been so glad to have medication for my ADHD; it's mind-blowing to realize how much poo poo I can do when I'm able to redirect the distractions in my head. If you have ADHD I highly recommend real medical intervention and coaching. It's been such a game changer. I don't want to get preachy or say medication is the only way to go, but I do want to say that a lot of negative coping mechanisms emanated from unmanaged spaz-brains and social pressures to "fit in", "do your homework", or "regularly brush and floss". It's an executive disorder. It really does look like willful laziness from the outside and it's humiliating when you make the same mistakes ad infinitum when it seems like everyone else has it all "figured out".
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Dec 6, 2020 15:55
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No idea if it's SAD or that I work at a place where people I've taken care of have died. But I'm really hitting bottom right now. Last week had a scare where I had been exposed to a patient who had Covid. Got myself a little quarantine until I could test negative twice. Spent Christmas alone and isolated. I'm so tired right now. Tired of being cooped up and tired of feeling alone. And the worst part is I work at a mental hospital. So I know what happens if you express your feelings. And I'm scared to let anyone else know except anonymously. I want to tell my girlfriend but I'm afraid it will scare her.
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Dec 31, 2020 20:07
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Rojo_Sombrero posted:No idea if it's SAD or that I work at a place where people I've taken care of have died. But I'm really hitting bottom right now. Last week had a scare where I had been exposed to a patient who had Covid. Got myself a little quarantine until I could test negative twice. Spent Christmas alone and isolated. I'm so tired right now. Tired of being cooped up and tired of feeling alone. And the worst part is I work at a mental hospital. So I know what happens if you express your feelings. And I'm scared to let anyone else know except anonymously. I want to tell my girlfriend but I'm afraid it will scare her. I am probably preaching to the choir if you're working at a mental health facility but it is normal the feelings you're having and it is understandable how reticent you are for seeking outside help These are a few peer resources I send to my clients that I've heard good things from and may be able to help you: Objective Zero Mobile app technology to connect the military community to peer support, wellness and mental health resources. To get the app: https://www.objectivezero.org/ Vets 4 Warriors Our mission is to provide 24/7 confidential, stigma free peer support by veterans to Active Duty, National Guard and Reserve service members, Veterans, Retirees, and their families/caregivers. Share lived experiences to create an environment of trust that demonstrates you are never alone, there is a caring, empathic voice ready to connect and follow up. We serve all Active Duty, National Guard and Reserve, military members, Veterans and their families without restrictions. Phone and chat options are available. Phone: 855-838-8255 Website: https://www.vets4warriors.com/index.html Vets Prevail Vets Prevail is a leader in technology-based behavioral health and resilience building for a wide range of challenges from depression to PTSD to substance abuse. Prevail's technology platform provides online care tailored to each individual's unique clinical and demographic needs. The program incorporates interactive multimedia e-learning lessons, peer support, diagnostic self-assessments, and proprietary software for scheduling and tracking user activities, thoughts and feelings. Join the program of veterans supporting veterans or chat with a vet. Vets Prevail is for Veterans and supported by Veterans to help them overcome challenges. Sponsored by the VA. Chat with a Vet: https://www.vetsprevail.org/ Good luck with your journey and know that you've always got this little space of the internet here with good folks that are trying to help each other as best they can
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Dec 31, 2020 21:02
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I need to thank all of you for having the strength and courage to talk about these topics and feelings in this forum. There is certainly me, and I suspect some others who stand in the back of the room ( metaphorically speaking ) and don’t say anything, but we witness the manner in which you are caring and supportive to each other and it shows a powerful, positive example of how we should be treating ourselves and the people around us. Thank you for this example. Also: gently caress 2020.
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Jan 1, 2021 05:01
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gently caress 2021. I thought 2020 was bad. But 2021 is just a continuation of everything. Everything's the same. I make 1 step of progress and the universe pushes me back 2 steps. That's happened like 4 times this past year. And now it's happened again. And I just have to keep waiting for every poo poo sandwich the universe feeds me, and I just gotta take it and eat it, because there's nothing I can do about it. gently caress 2021 too.
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Jan 8, 2021 11:29
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If want to chat/vent at a real person, I'd be happy to oblige.
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Jan 9, 2021 17:05
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I am getting awfully close to just giving up on the VA and rationing my medication until they stop refilling. My therapist is an anti-vaxxer and thinks that yoga and the Paleo diet is something I really need to look into for my multiple sclerosis. If I stop going to therapy they will stop filling my anti-xiety meds that they already regularly forget to fill. My therapist before this one could not leave religion out of it. I had to get my yearly MRI and my neuro did not submit paperwork for me to get a pill before the two and a half hour scan with my head clamped down. To add to the fun of the claustrophobia, they were out of masks that did not have a metal nose piece so the tech put a washcloth over my entire face for the duration. The sweet panic attack I had means I get to do that again. They won't replace my prosthesis even though it is much too large due to atrophy and has turned a cool nasty yellow color because the old man who runs the lab says that it's still serviceable, 7 years on. I wear this everyday. twice in the last year they have prescribed medications that I am allergic to and it is written in bright red on almost everything. I have repeatedly been called up and chastised for missing appointments that I never made at our privately run local outpatient VA center. I have monthly blood and urine samples collected and yet nobody looks at them. I can tell because they ask for the same blood and urine workups at almost every appointment. For everything I can tell they're doing a vaccine distribution by age and nothing else. There doesn't even seem to be a point. This poo poo is dominating my entire life and I'm seeing no benefit. This whole system is built for boomers in bullshit hats to sit around and LARP healthcare for something to do. I have been in this region for three years now and have literally never seen the actual neurologist or urologist. Just the nurses and aids. Nobody even looks at my chart. I'm starting to wish Rona had been more potent.
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Jan 22, 2021 20:20
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You have an amputation? Did you medically retire or was it a medical separation? I assume your on PDRL if you have an amputation, that means you can opt for TriCARE in lieu of VA Care. I highly, highly, recommend doing so.
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Jan 22, 2021 20:58
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bird cooch posted:
Im not sure what your steps up to this point have been, but... What have you tried to address with the Patient Advocate? Step one is demanding a new provider for at least your therapist. Then replace anyone who wrote you the meds that you are allergic to. I'm not sure how the prosthetics authorizations work, but that sounds like bullshit to. The local PA doesn't get the job done, go to the regional office. If that fails, senator/rep would be another avenue.
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Jan 23, 2021 02:24
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You hanging in there, bird cooch?
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Jan 30, 2021 07:23
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I am so sorry for any offense I may have caused in the GiP Discord, it is a place I enjoy and movie night is the only thing I have to look forward to in my entire life. I am a 30yo single male in a college town surrounded by children I could not hope to relate to in the middle of the pandemic and the movie night was the one night a week during the semesters I could get high and relax and not be alone and if there is anything I could do to be allowed back in the Discord please let me know and I will do it immediately.
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Jan 31, 2021 00:22
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Cenen posted:I am so sorry for any offense I may have caused in the GiP Discord, it is a place I enjoy and movie night is the only thing I have to look forward to in my entire life. I am a 30yo single male in a college town surrounded by children I could not hope to relate to in the middle of the pandemic and the movie night was the one night a week during the semesters I could get high and relax and not be alone and if there is anything I could do to be allowed back in the Discord please let me know and I will do it immediately. There’s a discord? And, bro, as someone who has to rub shoulders with what amounts to “well read, but stupid children” here in college, I can tell you for a fact you ain’t alone and you can find someone, even among your peers, to relate to and bullshit with. You aren’t alone, your life is not merely what you wrote about up there. I can’t possibly comment on the rest. That’s between you, them, and a whole lot of context I just don’t have. Hope you didn’t use the gamer word at least tho.
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Jan 31, 2021 04:05
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The mask down moment of telling us you dropped slurs in another goon discord because they frustrated you, with the history of harassing children in Among Us until they cry, is why you got the boot. Oh and the whole untermensch bit. I don't want to leave you isolated but that sort of behavior, even if it's happening outside of our discord, isn't going to be tolerated. What you need to do to get back in to the discord isn't something that can happen immediately, but requires some introspection and growth, and a realization of why we think you telling us about the time you dropped slurs isn't cool.
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Jan 31, 2021 04:15
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:You hanging in there, bird cooch? LtCol J. Krusinski posted:You have an amputation? Did you medically retire or was it a medical separation? Luckily, it is not an amputation, just no innervation below the knee. It's there, just doesn't do anything. What I have is a large articulated composite leg brace that acts as an ankle. I should look at PDRL. I was medsepped and then rated 100 T&P and just let it lie there. I try an not let this all define me so I actively try not to think it look at it. Genocide Tendency posted:Im not sure what your steps up to this point have been, but...
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Jan 31, 2021 21:20
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bird cooch posted:I reported the therapist to my social worker through the spinal injury clinic and they seemed unfazed and offered to schedule me with someone else when I'm ready, but I think I'm going to take some savings and see a normal therapist on the economy for a while. The trust is really broken right now. Before you spend your own $ check through the PA to see if you can get referred to a community care provider.
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Feb 6, 2021 01:12
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Just found out one of my best army buddies passed a couple weeks back, absolutely stunned. Used to chat all the time and now he's just gone, no warning. Thought he maybe had some dumb training since he was still in and wasn't responding to my stupid words and then his wife got a hold of me and it's still just a huge what the gently caress. I don't know what else to say, thanks.
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Feb 21, 2021 12:05
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That’s really awful man I’m sorry. He couldn’t have been that old...
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Feb 21, 2021 12:23
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Stanley Goodspeed posted:Just found out one of my best army buddies passed a couple weeks back, absolutely stunned. Used to chat all the time and now he's just gone, no warning. Thought he maybe had some dumb training since he was still in and wasn't responding to my stupid words and then his wife got a hold of me and it's still just a huge what the gently caress. I don't know what else to say, thanks. Sorry to hear
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Feb 26, 2021 14:47
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Need some advice handling a problematic veteran living in my building. He’s a black dude a little older than me (mid-30s). I believe he served in OEF when the poo poo was still hitting the fan every day. He has MH issues. A resident asked him to wear a mask and he told her to go kill herself. He randomly approached one of the cleaning staff and started telling him he was going to kill him and stuff like that. The dude obviously needs some help. The leasing office here would prefer to just call the cops on him. But a black dude with MH issues having the cops called on him seems like a recipe for disaster in this stupid rear end country. I have considered calling the VA and asking for their advice. He’s on disability so he likely has VA healthcare. I dunno, I just don’t want some dumb poo poo to happen to a veteran because people want to call the cops rather than get him the help he needs.
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Mar 8, 2021 21:47
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I'd call the Vet Center if you have one of those in town first for advice, but this might be one of those situations where catching him in passing, doing the typical vet identification talk dance and just telling him you're concerned others may take his talk more serious, will probably do more for him than calling most anyone. Just trying to watch another vets' back angle. If it was me I'd break that ice while walking the dog, smoking a joint and trying to catch him in passing. But I'm full of bad ideas. Don't be afraid to say hello to another vet though. He might need it more than you.
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Mar 8, 2021 22:39
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Getting a divorce. Finally got my meds right and was level headed again for the most part. Was a brutal pill to swallow especially when it seemed like everything was looking up. Thought I'd let you guys know since it was a whole thing a while back. Wish I could see things as negatively as everyone else but I was really hoping it wouldn't turn out this way.
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Mar 12, 2021 07:54
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Ziji posted:Getting a divorce. Finally got my meds right and was level headed again for the most part. Was a brutal pill to swallow especially when it seemed like everything was looking up. Thought I'd let you guys know since it was a whole thing a while back. Wish I could see things as negatively as everyone else but I was really hoping it wouldn't turn out this way. Congrats on meds being right, that step helps so much. I don't think anyone is ever truly happy about a divorce. I know I would always wonder about it working out, what could have been, what did I do wrong (or right), etc. The key is you identified something broken and took steps to protect and fix yourself. Good luck my dude.
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Mar 12, 2021 14:10
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Oh cool my dad has pancreatic cancer so on top of a year that included me losing a job now I get to watch my dad die, and have to help my mom who's a wreck with RA, fibromyalgia and a million other problems. gently caress this gay earth. gently caress this.
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Mar 16, 2021 02:53
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Bored As gently caress posted:Oh cool my dad has pancreatic cancer so on top of a year that included me losing a job now I get to watch my dad die, and have to help my mom who's a wreck with RA, fibromyalgia and a million other problems. gently caress. I went through this with my dad last spring with terminal cancer. I can’t say I have any sage words other than I really appreciated being able to spend as much time together as was possible during that period.
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Mar 16, 2021 03:42
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Thanks man.
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Mar 16, 2021 03:51
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This sucks. If you need anything, let us know.
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Mar 16, 2021 09:46
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Jeezus man I’m sorry that’s a lot to take on.
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Mar 16, 2021 11:10
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Hey man, that’s really awful. I hope you can keep your head up and that the time you get with your dad is all good. Like others have said, we’re here for you.
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Mar 16, 2021 12:30
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Ziji posted:Getting a divorce. Finally got my meds right and was level headed again for the most part. Was a brutal pill to swallow especially when it seemed like everything was looking up. Thought I'd let you guys know since it was a whole thing a while back. Wish I could see things as negatively as everyone else but I was really hoping it wouldn't turn out this way. Ziji, I can't fault you for trying to maintain optimism. I'm glad you're making changes, this is good to hear. Bored As gently caress posted:Oh cool my dad has pancreatic cancer so on top of a year that included me losing a job now I get to watch my dad die, and have to help my mom who's a wreck with RA, fibromyalgia and a million other problems. I'm so sorry. 
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Mar 17, 2021 16:37
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I’m just gonna post some personal progress I’ve noticed and probably jinx myself 2020 was all about improving myself. And the biggest thing I did was find a counselor who knows what buttons to press, what to focus on, and how to piss me off and annoy me in ways that are actually constructive (if that makes sense). I have focused a lot on my childhood. Unfortunately I have found myself unable to solve any of my current issues without tracing how I got here. If my life was the alphabet, I’m combing through it to see how I got to Z. And I haven’t been able to see really ANY progress because that’s where my focus has been: why am I like this? I’m not going to say I found out the answer. But I will say that with a lot of intense work, a lot of being annoyed by my counselor, and a lot of introspection, I think I am finally satisfied with the answer of how I got to be who I am (hint: I blamed my dad for a lot but it turns out my mother is incredibly toxic as well!) I’ve also kind of forgiven myself for having the childhood I had. It’s weird that to blame yourself for something you had no control over, but I’ve always carried it as a burden that I was poor and abused growing up. With that said, this is the big deal: I haven’t lost my temper in over a month. I know that might not seem like a big deal, but anger has always been my Achilles heel. Always. It’s why Im lonely. It’s why I don’t have many friends. And it’s why it is hard for me to keep any friends I do have. I’ve had ample opportunity to lose my temper. I’ve been mad. Angry. Irritated. Annoyed. I’ve had things happen that would normally send me nuclear immediately. But I’ve managed to handle myself maturely. A month without losing my temper on anyone is a loving INCREDIBLE feeling to the point where if I give it enough thought it almost makes me cry. I still have work to do on this path of self improvement. If you remember, I really, really started getting serious about this in a March/April of 2019 when I made a long post about how horrible of a person I am and how much work I needed to do on myself. I don’t think I’m a horrible person anymore.
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Apr 13, 2021 23:35
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That’s great man. Also it’s been amazing seeing you start a real job and keeping on the track upwards.
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Apr 13, 2021 23:44
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Therapy: it works if you let it 
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Apr 15, 2021 21:51
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My wife pointed out how mean i was being too myself for being basically ADHD, like forgetful or impulsive; it's also the core of a lot of my abuse and trauma, because I was a kid and couldn't explain how different I felt to my mother, who was genuinely more oppressed than I could even imagine, being a lesbian teacher in 90's Texas. I'm not sure where I was doing with that but just remember that you can be nice to yourself without giving yourself a bunch of excuses.
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Apr 16, 2021 07:51
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