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Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!

BigBallChunkyTime posted:

What if it's a promo where you turn heel?

Don't work yourself into a shoot

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ItohRespectArmy
Sep 11, 2019

Cutest In The World, Six Time DDT Ironheavymetalweight champion, Two Time International Princess champion, winner of two tournaments, a Princess Tag Team champion, And a pretty good singer too!
"When I was an idol, I felt nothing every day but now that I'm a pro wrestler I'm in pain constantly!"

AHH F/UGH posted:

See this is the kind of poo poo I'm talking about

yeah what kind of loser would like that stuff.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E77O-_y1kvE

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd-I-zzBFWE

I like wrestling

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

ItohRespectArmy posted:

yeah what kind of loser would like that stuff.

Hell yeah. Respect Itoh, OR ELSE:

https://twitter.com/maki_itoh/status/1351565272948195331

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

BigBallChunkyTime posted:

What if it's a promo where you turn heel?

Did you have a bad day? Oh no, I'm sorry..... I'M SORRY I WASN'T THERE TO SEE IT!!!

You think you had it bad in that cushy office job? I've been busting my rear end in this ring, day in and day out, for what? For you people to boo me. BOO YOURSELVES! I'm tired of pretending to care what you think, and I'm tired of going out there and having THE BEST drat MATCH every night while you people ignore it!

*knocks over a shelf of coffee mugs*

Remember this image, because the next time you see me, I'm going to be holding that championship belt. And there's not a drat thing you or anyone else can do to stop me.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spZOgdhtaMA

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
Wrestling: sublime

Anime: divine



Wrestling and anime together: blessed

















Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Meme Poker Party posted:

Wrestling: sublime

Anime: divine



Wrestling and anime together: blessed




This made me laugh way too hard

BodyMassageMachine
Nov 24, 2006

:yeah:
:yeah:
:yeah:

https://youtu.be/BNgQJ0J0WUo

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
IT WAS ME!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kujo7V9m0gk

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
pro wrestling is basically the muppet show crossed with figure skating

LET ME FINISH

SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP YOU DROOLING MORONS

YOUR LOCAL SPORTS TEAM IS BAD

the muppet show wasn't a variety show, it was a show about putting on a variety show
the bulk of the show, the fun of it, was all the backstage chaos that leads to bernadette peters singing with a baby frog or whatever. it gives you context and a narrative through-line for what you're watching

similarly, wrestling isn't a sports show, it's a show about putting on a sports show
the bulk of the show, the fun of it, is all the backstage chaos that leads to the big sweaty bastards and smaller hairless bastards throwing each other around and doing flips. it gives you context and a narrative through-line for what you're watching

and, figure skating is an athletic showcase, but it's for spectators
predetermined, the moves known and named and carefully practiced, yes, but that doesn't mean you know what's going to happen, and it takes a lot to pull off convincingly and for nobody to get hurt. you're watching these people do something not everybody can do, live death-defying stunts in front of a cheering crowd. are they gonna go for the big move? are they gonna pull it off?

and similarly, wrestling is an athletic showcase, but it's for spectators
predetermined, the moves known and named and carefully practiced, yes, but that doesn't mean you know what's going to happen, and it takes a lot to pull off convincingly and for nobody to get hurt. you're watching these people do something not everybody can do, live death-defying stunts in front of a cheering crowd. are they gonna go for the big move? are they gonna pull it off?

and the synthesis of these two is, in wrestling, they're also telling a story through the athletics

it's not just "last year he stumbled on the triple axel, costing him the medal, will he attempt it again here and now?"
it's "he's bravely fighting with a knee injury after his rival used a grappling hook to pull the entire stage set down on top of him last week, because this is his last shot at victory, but now that dastardly heel rival is focusing on that injured knee to gain the upper hand
with the love of his life watching from home with his first child, he picks his rival up for his finisher, but- oh no! the knee! his knee gave out! can he muster the" etc. etc. you get it

of course, unlike the triple axel, none of the story is real... except, some of it is real, isn't? he really does have his wife and first child watching from home. that's just a fact.
they mix in these bits and pieces of real life and blur the line to draw on that emotional energy
omega and ibushi really did used to be partners before omega left him behind for his solo career
john cena really did return to wrestle a medically impossible amount of time after he really did tear his pectoral muscle
mick foley, ric flair, shawn michaels, and the undertaker really were retiring... mostly
big e really did get moved to another show for a singles career, and kofi kingston really is out with an injury, so xavier woods, phd., (seriously, he's a phd candidate and the new day have 4 degrees between them) really is left alone on the main roster for the first time without his friends... so he and e really are pleased when they briefly get to be in the ring together again during the royal rumble. and maybe people get invested in this, they like the story being told, and maybe, partly as a result, big e becomes champion
the fiction of it is absurd, an impossibly heightened reality, but it's tethered to and elevated by reality, and the reality, in turn, is influenced by the fiction
it is, in fact, more real than any other fictional tv show, and frankly a lot of the non-fiction ones

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Cubone posted:

pro wrestling is basically the muppet show crossed with figure skating

I'll do you one better: pro wrestling IS the muppet show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhFniiuj77Y

Canonically, Beaker is a blood relative of WWE wrestler Sheamus. These two fictional universes co-exist.

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wpq8cUUnudc

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Animal-Mother posted:

I'll do you one better: pro wrestling IS the muppet show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhFniiuj77Y

Canonically, Beaker is a blood relative of WWE wrestler Sheamus. These two fictional universes co-exist.

They are feuding after Beaker put Sheamus through a table and called him a drat fool roody poo.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

MakaVillian posted:

I still love this as much as I did 22 years ago when I first watched it. Skip to about 7:10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGsBRImD0po

Chris Jericho was one of my first crushes, my first email had "jerichoholic" in it, and when I went to a wrestling event and saw Chris Jericho come out, I cried like one of those girls in those old Beatles videos. :allears:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
Chris Jericho is one of the greatest of all times, if only because his love of scarves is enough to make Vince rage.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


There was a tag team of a Mario cosplayer and a Vega cosplayer who called themselves the Super Smash Brothers. But then they got on TV and couldn't call themselves that, so they were an evil team of supervillains with an army of masked henchmen following them around. They were eventually reimagined as a riff on Scientology and recruited some new members. Then their boss was introduced as a parody of Vince McMahon, down to his real life quirks (ie. freaking out when anyone sneezes) and they became commentary on how WWE is absolutely a cult in the way it treats its employees. Then all the members started filming comedy sketches on YouTube that turned them into a group of lovable dorks constantly being yelled at by their psychotic monster of a boss. Also, their cult got a sponsorship deal with Chili's and new members included a different wrestler's sweet mother and the comedian Sinbad.

Recently, the boss guy legit died from lung failure and his cult of idiots became good guys by default. They asked an alcoholic cowboy with anxiety issues to join their cult and his refusal was treated as the most heartbreaking thing for both sides. Also, the dead boss guy's 8-year-old son is now in charge of the group.

So anyway, that's why the Dark Order is rad as hell. Other than the leader dying. That part sucked.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Gavok posted:

There was a tag team of a Mario cosplayer and a Vega cosplayer who called themselves the Super Smash Brothers. But then they got on TV and couldn't call themselves that, so they were an evil team of supervillains with an army of masked henchmen following them around. They were eventually reimagined as a riff on Scientology and recruited some new members. Then their boss was introduced as a parody of Vince McMahon, down to his real life quirks (ie. freaking out when anyone sneezes) and they became commentary on how WWE is absolutely a cult in the way it treats its employees. Then all the members started filming comedy sketches on YouTube that turned them into a group of lovable dorks constantly being yelled at by their psychotic monster of a boss. Also, their cult got a sponsorship deal with Chili's and new members included a different wrestler's sweet mother and the comedian Sinbad.

Recently, the boss guy legit died from lung failure and his cult of idiots became good guys by default. They asked an alcoholic cowboy with anxiety issues to join their cult and his refusal was treated as the most heartbreaking thing for both sides. Also, the dead boss guy's 8-year-old son is now in charge of the group.

So anyway, that's why the Dark Order is rad as hell. Other than the leader dying. That part sucked.

oh is that what the gently caress is going on with them? I started with the show 2 weeks ago and was curious how The Dark Order became the good guys

BodyMassageMachine
Nov 24, 2006

:yeah:
:yeah:
:yeah:

Gavok posted:


Recently, the boss guy legit died from lung failure and his cult of idiots became good guys by default. They asked an alcoholic cowboy with anxiety issues to join their cult and his refusal was treated as the most heartbreaking thing for both sides. Also, the dead boss guy's 8-year-old son is now in charge of the group.

It also happened at said 8 year old’s birthday and had excellently-timed comedy:

https://youtu.be/7e4rAhxMh5k

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Ok I'm genuinely creeped-out by Nailz.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Aardvark! posted:

oh is that what the gently caress is going on with them? I started with the show 2 weeks ago and was curious how The Dark Order became the good guys

There was a Brodie Lee dedication show on the 12/30 dynamite. It was very emotional. Give it a watch if you get the chance, it was a good show.

MakaVillian
Aug 16, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

Gavok posted:


Recently, the boss guy legit died from lung failure and his cult of idiots became good guys by default. They asked an alcoholic cowboy with anxiety issues to join their cult and his refusal was treated as the most heartbreaking thing for both sides. Also, the dead boss guy's 8-year-old son is now in charge of the group.


Is that Brody Lee's actual kid?

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


MakaVillian posted:

Is that Brody Lee's actual kid?

Yes

Theres a lot of clips on wrestler's twitter accounts of him goofing around with everyone backstage. Its very cute.

MakaVillian
Aug 16, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.


Goddamn wrestling is great/weird

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


MakaVillian posted:

Goddamn wrestling is great/weird

https://twitter.com/Maffewgregg/status/1354430487117193216?s=20


https://twitter.com/SilverNumber1/status/1344666100756262918?s=20


He owns. The big thing to get out of this is that all signs point towards AEW being a very community type of workplace. The wrestlers get a lot of input(for better or worse) and you can definitely see wrestlers improve as they get trained by experienced wrestlers. That poo poo doesnt happen in wwe.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
Taz having the time of his life in AEW is so great to watch.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

I'm Val Venis.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

Chief McHeath posted:

I'm Val Venis.

Actually I'm not Val Venis.

https://twitter.com/ValVenisEnt/status/1348650613366616065

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope
Why am I not surprised that Val Venis is a complete loving weirdo? He's like a low-rent Marty Jannetty.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

lol scrolling through Val Venis's feed, he believes that when he sends an email, it is "no longer in his possession" so he has to use #cryptography for his #digiassets.

They call it a "Sent Items" folder you loving president.

MakaVillian
Aug 16, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

YeahTubaMike posted:

Why am I not surprised that Val Venis is a complete loving weirdo? He's like a low-rent Marty Jannetty.

He's a D-list Ravishing Rick Rude

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

Also he's big into weed, and weed is good, as such, Val Venis is a person of contrasts.

But he posts photoshops of Obama holding weed cigars, and Obama is bad, but weed cigars are good, but Obama smoking weed is very bad, so I have come to the conclusion that Val Venis, the person of contrasts, is not working with a complete toolbox.

Tokyo Sexwale
Jul 30, 2003

wonder if working in the era of Peak Chairshot contributed

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

Tokyo Sexwale posted:

wonder if working in the era of Peak Chairshot contributed

He probably smells what The Rock is cooking, which is a combination of burnt toast and almonds. Which, now that you mention it, what time is the treehouse?

Mister Speaker
May 8, 2007

WE WILL CONTROL
ALL THAT YOU SEE
AND HEAR
'Macho Man' Randy Savage died doing what he loved: slamming into things.

Coxswain Balls
Jun 4, 2001

The_Rob posted:

The greatest fight ever involved a pro wrestler.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgOs4PsiyIw

This fight is still as savage as I remember it being. After looking it up again I just found out that Takayama is now a quadriplegic from a wrestling accident in 2017. :(

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Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

https://twitter.com/Maffewgregg/status/1354430487117193216?s=20


https://twitter.com/SilverNumber1/status/1344666100756262918?s=20


He owns. The big thing to get out of this is that all signs point towards AEW being a very community type of workplace. The wrestlers get a lot of input(for better or worse) and you can definitely see wrestlers improve as they get trained by experienced wrestlers. That poo poo doesnt happen in wwe.

This is fantastic. I'm going to have to check out AEW.

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