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Bell_
Sep 3, 2006

Tiny Baltimore
A billion light years away
A goon's posting the same thing
But he's already turned to dust
And the shitpost we read
Is a billion light-years old
A ghost just like the rest of us
The Mass Effect 2 abduction sequence where you played as Joker absolutely losing his poo poo, while EDI was taunting him is still the best gaming storytelling moment I played through. I said then I'd play an entire game of that, and I still would.

Just absolute "oh poo poo oh no" while loving chaos is erupting all over. Not loving zombies, but something like a kaiju or combined arms invasion.

edit: watching that sequence again, it hasn't aged perfectly well, but its heart's in the right place.

Bell_ fucked around with this message at 23:53 on Feb 2, 2021

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1stGear
Jan 16, 2010

Here's to the new us.

SgtSteel91 posted:

I have a sneaking suspicion there's going to be extra stuff teasing at the Andromeda Initiative

Yeah, probably a note saying they all died on the way to their home galaxy. I'm pretty sure Andromeda is getting memory-holed.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

1stGear posted:

Yeah, probably a note saying they all died on the way to their home galaxy. I'm pretty sure Andromeda is getting memory-holed.

I think they are in already working on Andromeda 2, because what, are they not going to make more Mass Effects? They have already said they're working on the "next chapter in the Mass Effect universe."

LionYeti
Oct 12, 2008


Funky See Funky Do posted:

I don't think a soundtrack from a game has ever been as burned into my brain as the Mass Effect theme is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVm_ljDSdwA&t=59s

I see your theme and raise you the :krad: end credits song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcrDWAuyqtc

Bloody Pom
Jun 5, 2011



Hopefully they'll unfuck the story progression in ME2 that was a result of being split across two discs for the 360 release. A lot of your squadmates have dialogue scripted in for sequences they can't even be present for without save editing, and recruiting Legion forces you into the endgame if you don't want your crew to all die.

e: I actually wouldn't mind a far post-ME3 game with Liara as the protagonist. She's still got a good 800-900 years in her after all. Better that than some other random Soldier McHeroname.

Bloody Pom fucked around with this message at 00:04 on Feb 3, 2021

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule

1stGear posted:

Yeah, probably a note saying they all died on the way to their home galaxy. I'm pretty sure Andromeda is getting memory-holed.

lot of hints in comments on ME4 saying it'll tie the two galaxies together. how that'll happen, idk, but I don't think it's getting abandoned completely

A Good Time
Dec 20, 2015


LionYeti posted:

I see your theme and raise you the :krad: end credits song
There was something really, really satisfying about that credit sequence, but you should embed the properly credited crab edition :yeeclaw:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gISlB1IdUjI

Zeron
Oct 23, 2010
Looking forward to buying this solely to play ME2 again. Like I've played ME1 a few times to prep for ME2 playthroughs but it just isn't as good. I've never gotten more than a couple planets into ME3 though.

exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


The terminator reaper baby boss was good, sorry haters.

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

Rynoto posted:

The suicide mission was incredibly good and made the boss fight at the end seem comically stupid.

It is deeply deeply dumb and probably the most videogamey moment in the game. Something positive did come from it though, originally you would have had a boss fight with Sheen at the end of ME3 but they cut it out. Maybe they learned from the dumb pointless boss fight.

ultrachrist
Sep 27, 2008
At first I didn't think I cared for a remaster but after looking at the screenshots and having some fond memories over it, I'll probably get it eventually. ME1 is a legit great game of a type that no one seems to make any more and ME2 is exciting and a blast to play even if the plot is lacking compared to 1.

3 is a very stupid game top-to-bottom. The awful ending hogs the spotlight. Are they really not including the multiplayer??

edit: ^ the reaper baby was stupid as are any plot points in the "humans are exceptional" trope.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

exquisite tea posted:

The terminator reaper baby boss was good, sorry haters.

Love my Contra Hard Corps boss baby.

DEEP STATE PLOT
Aug 13, 2008

Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!



ultrachrist posted:

3 is a very stupid game top-to-bottom. The awful ending hogs the spotlight. Are they really not including the multiplayer??

yeah, 3 falls apart the moment you meet SPACE NINJA and it never really recovers from there. tuchanka's alright, the rest of the game is poo.

Lt. Danger
Dec 22, 2006

jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

apparently Bioware are running a survey about whether to change parts of the ME3 story? probably just a dumb publicity stunt but might be worth checking out https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/2BDQ5B3

Zeron
Oct 23, 2010

DEEP STATE PLOT posted:

yeah, 3 falls apart the moment you meet SPACE NINJA and it never really recovers from there. tuchanka's alright, the rest of the game is poo.

Yeah everyone complains about the ending to three but it literally starts with the most annoying ninja and turning EDI into a sexbot. The beginning is just as bad.

Gnome de plume
Sep 5, 2006

Hell.
Fucking.
Yes.
A+ write up op, 5 stars

SgtSteel91
Oct 21, 2010

Lt. Danger posted:

apparently Bioware are running a survey about whether to change parts of the ME3 story? probably just a dumb publicity stunt but might be worth checking out https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/2BDQ5B3


Played me like a drat fiddle

DEEP STATE PLOT
Aug 13, 2008

Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!



Zeron posted:

Yeah everyone complains about the ending to three but it literally starts with the most annoying ninja and turning EDI into a sexbot. The beginning is just as bad.

kai leng isn't just annoying, he's also embarrassing. like what a 12-year-old boy would think is a cool, edgy badass.

so i guess it makes sense knowing that at the time ea were using middle schoolers to focus test their games.

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
Kai Leng was a huge lol and the tie in book where he eats anderson's cereal and pisses in his potted fern is an even bigger lol somehow

THE ENDS STILL BAD indeed



found the original too lol

TheAgent fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Feb 3, 2021

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Lt. Danger posted:

apparently Bioware are running a survey about whether to change parts of the ME3 story? probably just a dumb publicity stunt but might be worth checking out https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/2BDQ5B3

It's coming out in May anything that they're changing they've already changed.

Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT
The story was bad, very few memorable or even likeable characters, and constant janky loving animations but...


Gameplay-wise (powers and combos and pew pew and poo poo) I think Andromeda was the best ME.

Thank you for reading my hot take.

Chocobo
Oct 15, 2012


Here comes a new challenger!
Oven Wrangler
The only deaths I had were Mordin and Legion's sacrifices. I guess Thane died to his frog AIDS or whatever but nobody cares about him? All in all, I think I had a near optimal play through, the only "mistake" I think I made was sacrificing the Council at the end of the first game. There was a lot of pressure with the "IF A SINGLE SHOT MAKES IT THROUGH TO THE CITADEL WE LOSE EVERYTHING" so I didn't spare any effort to save the Council's ship. I remember catching flak for that throughout the following two games.

ME2 and ME3 were masterpieces, I didn't even hate the original ending of 3 aside from the fact that the three choices were essentially identical. Hope they update the ME1 to the cover-based shooter of the sequels gameplay but I can't actually see that happening. ME3 multiplayer was pretty slick, used to bring my rank 1 shotgun infiltrator into gold missions and carry the team.

Pre-ordered it on Steam. Take my money EA.

Chocobo
Oct 15, 2012


Here comes a new challenger!
Oven Wrangler

Error 404 posted:

The story was bad, very few memorable or even likeable characters, and constant janky loving animations but...


Gameplay-wise (powers and combos and pew pew and poo poo) I think Andromeda was the best ME.

Thank you for reading my hot take.

I thought Andromeda gameplay was terrible. Making the game open world and taking it off rails does nothing to enhance the core of the game which is the story. On multiple occasions I ran into situations where characters were referencing events that hadn't happened yet, or characters I hadn't met yet, or talking about character developments that I hadn't actually learned about yet, because I was apparently doing things out of order. The bulk of the game ended up feeling like an MMO level grind, running from one meaningless quest to the next.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.

Ilium's star has picked a bad time to go supernova.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Error 404 posted:

The story was bad, very few memorable or even likeable characters, and constant janky loving animations but...


Gameplay-wise (powers and combos and pew pew and poo poo) I think Andromeda was the best ME.

Thank you for reading my hot take.

My read is that in ME the story is the gameplay. The shooting a mini-game to break things up a little. I spent way more time on the ship talking to people about the missions than I did in the actual missions.

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule
Kai Leng has a gunship to cover him while he recharges his shield in the open (????)

Shepard to this point in the series has killed like five gunships and not a minute beforehand had killed two harvesters which are gunship-equivalents

If you shoot at the gunship Kai Leng makes fun of you and you can't hurt it

Then Kai Leng says "this ends now" and jams his sword into the ground (???) before closing to melee range (????????) which causes Archangel or two special forces operatives or the Prothean avatar of vengeance to miss every shot they take on him

dogshit boss fight and dogshit character

neonchameleon
Nov 14, 2012



I'm just thinking how much better Mass Effect was on PC than it was on console - or rather how much better it was with keyboard + mouse than it ever was with a gamepad - the difference between 8 powers on the numberline and 4 on the D-pad is huge. Also remember that Mass Effect 2 and 3 are only true cover based shooters if you're low level playing a soldier. Infiltrator and Sentinel can move pretty freely, Engineer's playing X-Com, Adept's a caster, and the Vanguard's playing ... something.

And has anyone else noticed they don't seem to be including the Pinnacle Station DLC?

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule

neonchameleon posted:

And has anyone else noticed they don't seem to be including the Pinnacle Station DLC?

there was some issue with the original code for the PS3(?) so they said eh gently caress it, it's just pinnacle station

MH Knights
Aug 4, 2007

TheAgent posted:


THE ENDS STILL BAD indeed




Needs more lens flare.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
ME 1-3 let you play as femshep while she romanced the ladies and shot reapers in the dome A+++

ME Andromeda was just...bad. it wasn't just the animations (although facial animations are still hideous and do hurt the storytelling). it was mainly that everything is a giant pain in the rear end and the characters are completely flat

e: plus there wasn't even anyone I wanted Sarah Ryder to bang

Best Bi Geek Squid fucked around with this message at 02:09 on Feb 3, 2021

Gnome de plume
Sep 5, 2006

Hell.
Fucking.
Yes.

neonchameleon posted:


And has anyone else noticed they don't seem to be including the Pinnacle Station DLC?

They lost the source code for pinochle station

DEEP STATE PLOT
Aug 13, 2008

Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!



Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

ME 1-3 let you play as femshep while she romanced the ladies and shot reapers in the dome A+++

ME Andromeda was just...bad. it wasn't just the animations (although facial animations are still hideous and do hurt the storytelling). it was mainly that everything is a giant pain in the rear end and the characters are completely flat

calling the characters completely flat is unfair. for example, peebee is aggressively, insufferably terrible.

Chocobo
Oct 15, 2012


Here comes a new challenger!
Oven Wrangler
I always felt that Legion was supposed to be recruited earlier, pretty sure there is a lot of dialog available for him that you can't see unless you grab him at a time that is guaranteed to kill half your crew.

Might still be worth it.

Lt. Danger
Dec 22, 2006

jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

if I remember rumours right in very early pre-production the geth were gonna resurrect Shepard, not Cerberus

later plans were to recruit Legion on a mission to the Normandy SR1 crash site

Pattonesque posted:

Kai Leng has a gunship to cover him while he recharges his shield in the open (????)

Shepard to this point in the series has killed like five gunships and not a minute beforehand had killed two harvesters which are gunship-equivalents

If you shoot at the gunship Kai Leng makes fun of you and you can't hurt it

very powerful lens flare cannon. the remaster will give us the Kai Leng bossfight we deserved

e: personally I am fine losing to Kai Leng but the forced sad rock-bottom scene afterwards was weak as hell. Shepard should have yelled at the asari for messing up so badly

Lt. Danger fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Feb 3, 2021

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule

Lt. Danger posted:

if I remember rumours right in very early pre-production the geth were gonna resurrect Shepard, not Cerberus

later plans were to recruit Legion on a mission to the Normandy SR1 crash site


very powerful lens flare cannon. the remaster will give us the Kai Leng bossfight we deserved

a boot stomping on Kai Leng for eternity

broadly I'd be OK with losing to him too. I was fine with losing to Saren in the original fight in ME. Saren was built up as a way more credible threat and Kai Leng was not

and yeah I remember those rumors too. it's why Legion was front and center in the original ME2 teaser

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNcmIsPdqBw

Funky Valentine
Feb 26, 2014

Dojyaa~an

Putting off Tali's loyalty mission just to bring Legion is A+.

thrilla in vanilla posted:

Something positive did come from it though, originally you would have had a boss fight with Sheen at the end of ME3 but they cut it out.
Instead we get Martin Sheen being really dumb and then douchebag space AI kid.

Honestly would rather have just had a fight against Cyborg Martin Sheen.

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule

Funky Valentine posted:

Putting off Tali's loyalty mission just to bring Legion is A+.

Instead we get Martin Sheen being really dumb and then douchebag space AI kid.

Honestly would rather have just had a fight against Cyborg Martin Sheen.

there was an interview about Sheen's process of recording the Illusive Man and at one point they told him "OK Shepard is going to give you some back-talk here so react accordingly" and he was like "oh no, he wouldn't dare" which owns

Rynoto
Apr 27, 2009
It doesn't help that I'm fat as fuck, so my face shouldn't be shown off in the first place.
Andromeda's open world wasn't the worst and the actual fighting was quite good. Also personally enjoyed the puzzle dungeons for what they were. If it hadn't had the Mass Effect name slapped on it then it probably would have been received better. As it stands, though, would have loved to have seen a heavier story driven game without a BigBad and instead just a romp through the wilds fighting against scary nature and setting up colonies.

Chocobo
Oct 15, 2012


Here comes a new challenger!
Oven Wrangler
I think that canonically (maybe depending on how you shape your playthrough's Shepard), the option to control the Reapers and become god-like eternal Space Cop Shepard is actually the "Good" ending. I remember doing the synthesis choice first but that choice only really exists to justify Seth Green loving a robot.

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nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

A great list of mods, but there's a couple I'd add to them, especially for ME1 Quality of Life updates:

MASS EFFECT 1
Charted Worlds - Adds a purchasable scanner upgrade to the Normandy shop that reveals the location of minerals/anomalies/ect. on landable world maps to cut down on wasted time exploring.
Galaxy Map Trackers - Adds Mass Effect 2/3-style flags to Galaxy Map locations for side quests.
Keepers Finders - Adds mission objective markers to all the Keepers on the Citadel for the quest "Scan the Keepers".
Adams Consistency Mod - Removes Normandy chief engineer Greg Adams's dress uniform and puts him in regular fatigues like he sports in Mass Effect 3.
N7 MAKO - Increases the Mako's attack power, shield and hull durability, and stability. Fully compatible with Improved Mako.
Casual Hubs For ME1 - Implements an ME3 style armor/casual attire system for hubs like the Citadel and Port Hanshan on Noveria, including casual outfits for Garrus and Wrex.
Same-Gender Romances for ME1 - Unlocks same-sex romantic options. Male Shepards can romance Kaidan, and Female Shepards can romance Ashley.
Covered Clothing - Most of the options in this mod are needlessly prudish, but the one for Benezia is really good and covers up her embarrassing boob window.

MASS EFFECT 2
Casual Hubs For ME2 - Adds a variety of outfit options for all squad members for hubs like the Citadel, Normandy, and Omega.
HUD Icon Fixes - ME2 DLC Weapons - Fixes the placement of DLC weapon icons on the HUD.
Joker Wears Cerberus Fatigues - Fixes a weird glitch in Tali's loyalty mission where Joker shows up in his ME1 outfit for the opening scene of the mission.
No More Butt Shots - Removes the skeevy rear end-focused camera angles in dialog scenes with Miranda.
Remove Shared Power Cooldown - Implements Mass Effect 1 style individual power cooldowns for Shepard and squad.
No Minigames - Exactly what it says on the tin.
Mass Effect 1 Style Object Selector - Replaces the square shaped selector icon with the round (O)-shaped one from ME1 and ME2.

MASS EFFECT 3
Immersive Thessia Mod - Made by the author of Priority: Earth Overhaul Mod, aimed at making Priority: Thessia more engrossing and impactful. Will overwrite any changes made to Thessia made by Project Variety.
Ambient Audio Overhaul Mod - Also made by the author of PEOM, aims to restore most of the ambient audio to various locations across the game that were cut or just not implemented because lol EA crunch.
F.I.S.H. Mod - Allows you to reunite with Kelly Chambers on the Citadel even if you didn't sexually harass her into feeding your fish for you in ME2.
Citadel Epilogue Mod - Strips out all references to the Reapers, Cerberus, and the war from the Citadel DLC to allow it to act as an epilogue for ME3. Has patches for various ending mods like MEHEM, JAM, CEM, and LIME.
Better Journal - Updates the objective markers in the Journal entries to reflect the changes made by Expanded Galaxy Mod.
Allers Redone - Gives Diana Allers a visual overhaul, including a better face texture, less makeup, and a classier dress/jacket more beffiting a news reporter.
Jacob Gets Sucker Punched - Replaces FemShep's weakass slap Renegade interrupt in the Citadel DLC with a full on right hook. Mod also allows a non-romanced FemShep and BroShep to haul off and deck Jacob as well. Because Jacob deserves it.

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Feb 3, 2021

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