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skasion posted:Han Solo’s evil cousin who looks exactly like Han Solo with a mustache and who hates han solo because han is the true heir to the ancient empire of corellia
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Jan 29, 2021 00:51
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Jazerus posted:and who hates han solo because han is the true heir to the ancient empire of corellia It’s ok, Han paid him back by teaming up with Boba Fett to assassinate him and provoke another galactic civil war
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Jan 29, 2021 00:58
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karmicknight posted:I got reminded of Centerpoint Station today and man oh man is it a loving trip. It was supposed to be some kind of giant tow truck or crane moving celestial bodies around before they figured out how to use it as a giant gun eons later. All the people basically set up their homes on the walls of a giant reactor in sleep mode. Later Centerpoint would be used as a political symbol by Corellian separatist movements and was put on t-shirts, before eventually the Republic had enough of attempts to use it as a superweapon and blew it up. And then after it was destroyed, it turned out that it had somehow been maintaining the Maw cluster of black holes as a prison for ancient cosmic space demon, and as that prison cracked open, its influence leaked into the galaxy, starting with the Jedi younglings that Luke had hidden in a space station near the Maw after Yavin got too dangerous. Oops. Also worth noting that this is a case of authors throwing out weird background elements that get taken as plot hooks and picked up by other authors. Centerpoint first appeared in 1995, the spacebugs were written in 2005, and the space demon that they were commissioned to imprison was the focus of a book series starting in 2009, and the very last book that came out in 2012 was the one that tied in the spacebugs as the ones commissioned to make the Maw and also tied the demon into a 2011 episode of Clone Wars.
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Jan 29, 2021 02:05
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IIRC the space demon also ate Luke's ex from two of the worst books, Children of the Jedi and Planet of Twilight.
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Jan 29, 2021 05:16
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*two of the worst books (non-Kevin J. Anderson division)
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Jan 29, 2021 07:01
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Defiance Industries posted:*two of the worst books (non-Kevin J. Anderson division) I am more than willing to put Planet of Twilight in with the KJA books. None of them are Crystal Star, though.
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Jan 29, 2021 18:01
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Children of the Jedi and Planet of Twilight form a trilogy with KJA’s infamous Darksaber, so they might as well be lumped in with that. That said, I don’t mind his Jedi Academy trilogy, although that was earlier EU and I can’t think of any of his later books that I read, so maybe he did get a lot worse. Crystal Star is I think the only EU book I couldn’t finish. I made it about 60 pages in and it was just awful...
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Jan 29, 2021 18:08
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the jedi academy trilogy had a subtle but awful effect on the whole rest of the EU by being so pivotal and yet full of dissonant details. leia in particular emerges from her time in the hands of kja as a caricature of an entitled rich white lady and rarely if ever goes back to being, uh, princess leia from the movies
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Jan 29, 2021 18:19
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Jazerus posted:the jedi academy trilogy had a subtle but awful effect on the whole rest of the EU by being so pivotal and yet full of dissonant details. This is an excellent way of putting it. So much of Legends (and even a whole-rear end video game) was based on Luke's New Jedi Order, which was established in a trilogy that also included energy-sucking cave spiders; dark possessions from a super-evil Sith lord that lived, like, around the block; all-male jedi hot tub training sessions; Vader grave robbery; Tarkin's astoundingly incompetent ex; Wedge just sort of finding a jedi-detecting radio; frog rape dungeons; and probably way more insane poo poo than what I've already listed.
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Jan 29, 2021 18:54
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Hazo posted:This is an excellent way of putting it. So much of Legends (and even a whole-rear end video game) was based on Luke's New Jedi Order, which was established in a trilogy that also included energy-sucking cave spiders; dark possessions from a super-evil Sith lord that lived, like, around the block; all-male jedi hot tub training sessions; Vader grave robbery; Tarkin's astoundingly incompetent ex; Wedge just sort of finding a jedi-detecting radio; frog rape dungeons; and probably way more insane poo poo than what I've already listed. See here we make the classic mistake of ragging on something by making it sound 5,000 times cooler/funnier than it is
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Jan 29, 2021 18:59
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Sodomy Hussein posted:See here we make the classic mistake of ragging on something by making it sound 5,000 times cooler/funnier than it is They manage to have all of that and be boring.
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Jan 29, 2021 21:34
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Yeah the big powerful indictment of the Jedi Academy Trilogy is that it contains about a million really funny wild elements without context, but adding the context of the books to them just makes them boring.
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Jan 29, 2021 22:47
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but does it have Waru?
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Jan 29, 2021 22:56
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The Crystal Star is the Worst Star Wars Novel.
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Jan 29, 2021 23:03
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Hethrir's scientists breached the walls between dimensions and brought into existence a massive slab of meat covered with shining golden scales.
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Jan 29, 2021 23:14
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karmicknight posted:The Crystal Star is the Worst Star Wars Novel. Crystal Star is bad but The New Rebellion is some fanfic level poo poo. loving Cole Fardreamer
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Jan 29, 2021 23:20
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I grabbed my paperback of Crystal Star last time I was home, with the idea of doing a re-read thread. But I just can’t bring myself to it
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Jan 29, 2021 23:45
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it's been 20 years or more since I read it but even as a star wars obsessed little kid it was so boring and such a slog to get through
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Jan 29, 2021 23:54
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My introduction to Luke's Jedi academy was the Junior Jedi Knight books, that I read after I ran out of Jedi Apprentice books. I think they were for a lower reading level than I was used to, and they basically amounted to your standard kids wandering off to find an amazing world kids' story like the magic treehouse books, but they still had some notable bits. The books focused on Anakin Solo who was mostly in a class by himself because he was so much younger than Luke's first batch of kids. His one classmate was Tahiri, an orphan girl from Tatooine. That little chinchilla thing is actually an ancient jedi master named Ikrit who they found hibernating in the Palace of Woolamander. He missed out on the Jedi purges by sleeping for 400 years. He was there because he found the golden globe behind him which is filled with the tortured souls of Massassi children that were imprisoned by an even more ancient sith lord to harvest their power. Only a force-sensitive child could safely touch the globe to release the souls though, so instead of...going back to Coruscant to get some younglings, he just decided to wait until some came his way.
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Jan 30, 2021 04:59
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what i'm getting from this is that anakin solo is a magical girl
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Jan 30, 2021 05:02
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fartknocker posted:Children of the Jedi and Planet of Twilight form a trilogy with KJA’s infamous Darksaber, so they might as well be lumped in with that. That said, I don’t mind his Jedi Academy trilogy, although that was earlier EU and I can’t think of any of his later books that I read, so maybe he did get a lot worse. darksaber was weird because it felt like a weird bad comedy and i kinda liked the whole "galactic crimelord is way over his loving head but he is so up his own rear end that he thinks he can make a mini death star so he takes Imp Von braun and some ex imp bullshiter and hires the shittiest labor possible and basically acts like he is tough super dude and rolls a couple 20s and than dies. durga=trump.
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Jan 30, 2021 05:48
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karmicknight posted:The Crystal Star is the Worst Star Wars Novel. i mean its loving up there. i think children of the jedi is worse.
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Jan 30, 2021 05:49
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I have no idea what happens in The Crystal Star. I know that I read it, I can remember holding it and looking at the cover, but I have no loving clue what happens in those pages.
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Jan 30, 2021 17:13
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Patrick Spens posted:I have no idea what happens in The Crystal Star. I know that I read it, I can remember holding it and looking at the cover, but I have no loving clue what happens in those pages. Pretty sure it’s another one of the “oh no, the Solo kids got kidnapped” books
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Jan 30, 2021 18:05
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Without looking at a plot summary, there's like a weird star being with a cult or something who can block the Force, and Luke has to investigate. I think the kids do things here and there but honestly they're kidnapped or something every other week. It's insanely boring, and I kinda feel the same way about Star Wars books on this tier that I do about Dragonlance books; as soon as you read other Star Wars/D&D spinoff books, you realize that if the books can't be good, they can at least be interesting.
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Jan 31, 2021 15:03
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Patrick Spens posted:I have no idea what happens in The Crystal Star. I know that I read it, I can remember holding it and looking at the cover, but I have no loving clue what happens in those pages. Jazerus posted:Waru was a trans-dimensional being hailing from a universe parallel to the galaxy's own. His species differed from those known to New Republic databases. Waru was considered a healer by many, due to his ability to treat injuries utilizing his own body. Physically, Waru was predominantly blob-shaped, and consisted of several golden plates acting as shields around a layer of raw, permeable tissue. A thick, syrupy liquid, comparable to ichor, flowed freely from within Waru through the spaces between the covering plates. The inside of Waru was much larger than the outside revealed, allowing three adult Humans enough space to swim through. Waru's interior was also breathable by Humans.
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Jan 31, 2021 17:01
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I think I have a better picture.
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Jan 31, 2021 19:48
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I like the first one better because it looks like 3PO is trying to remember which toilet seat Master Luke is behind
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Jan 31, 2021 21:26
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corran horn paints his x-wing green to represent his past as a cop
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Feb 5, 2021 20:35
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Kingdom Of The Crystal Star
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Feb 6, 2021 00:15
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The only reason Corran Horn stopped being a cop was because he got framed for being on the take.
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Feb 6, 2021 02:26
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Corran Horn is short lol Corran Horn also had a lightsaber with a dial on it that he could use to extend the blade and make it as long as he wanted. Make of these facts what you will
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Feb 6, 2021 02:26
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skasion posted:Corran Horn is short lol isnt that also a canonical feature of vader's saber
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Feb 7, 2021 02:11
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also, unless i imagined it, anakin's saber (as wielded by luke in splinters of the minds eye) was also adjustable in both length and width
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Feb 7, 2021 02:16
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Hazo posted:This is an excellent way of putting it. So much of Legends (and even a whole-rear end video game) was based on Luke's New Jedi Order, which was established in a trilogy that also included energy-sucking cave spiders; dark possessions from a super-evil Sith lord that lived, like, around the block; all-male jedi hot tub training sessions; Vader grave robbery; Tarkin's astoundingly incompetent ex; Wedge just sort of finding a jedi-detecting radio; frog rape dungeons; and probably way more insane poo poo than what I've already listed. The weird thing about Kevin J Anderson is that he's in the exact opposite position of where he should be. He has all these batshit, wonderful ideas that, in another writer's hands, could be really funny and interesting, but instead does the bulk of the writing for other people's ideas (Brian Herbert being the most notable example). It feels weird to say, but can you imagine if KJA was just an ideas guy? Like, he goes on his daily hikes and just freeform speaks into his little tape recorder anything that comes to mind, and then the transcription gets handed off to someone with a better sense of pacing and description? I say this as someone much more sympathetic to KJA than most.
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Feb 13, 2021 05:11
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Toph Bei Fong posted:The weird thing about Kevin J Anderson is that he's in the exact opposite position of where he should be. He has all these batshit, wonderful ideas that, in another writer's hands, could be really funny and interesting, but instead does the bulk of the writing for other people's ideas (Brian Herbert being the most notable example). Also everything I've heard about KJA is that for all his bad writing, he's a decent bloke, which is more than can be said about some other prolific Legends writers.
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Feb 13, 2021 23:11
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Toph Bei Fong posted:The weird thing about Kevin J Anderson is that he's in the exact opposite position of where he should be. He has all these batshit, wonderful ideas that, in another writer's hands, could be really funny and interesting, but instead does the bulk of the writing for other people's ideas (Brian Herbert being the most notable example). no i totally agree. kja comes up with great outlines and then totally wrecks the execution. i don't even think it's necessarily a bad idea for him to be working within other people's fictional properties, it seems to be a constraint that he likes and performs well under. but then he actually writes and it falls apart in a hundred tiny ways. i have to wonder if his inability to read what he just "wrote", because it's all spoken, contributes to this dynamic of everything just being a little off-kilter
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Feb 14, 2021 06:58
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Toph Bei Fong posted:The weird thing about Kevin J Anderson is that he's in the exact opposite position of where he should be. He has all these batshit, wonderful ideas that, in another writer's hands, could be really funny and interesting, but instead does the bulk of the writing for other people's ideas (Brian Herbert being the most notable example). I've read the saga of seven suns buddy, no dice.
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Feb 14, 2021 08:15
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Over time I've grown to dislike Grand Admiral Thrawn more, not just because I feel like his original trilogy was kinda dumb, but because the general principle of admiring your bad opponent for how smart he is has kinda soured on me. Thrawn reminds me a little of the way that some people idolize Rommel as "the good nazi" who doesn't really share the ideology of the regime he serves even though he'll serve it loyally. A lot of that is still showing in Rebels where he's the smartest imperial, except the only reason why he's allowed to seem so smart is because he doesn't have some micromanaging boss to get angry at him for not winning quickly, and he has the freedom to fail while fighting the rebels. Any other imperial officer who tried that would get thrown out an airlock. But I think the worst rehabilitation of Thrawn I've read so far is that apparently the Chiss dealt with some Yuuzhan Vong scout groups, and when Palpatine recruited Thrawn, it was with the idea that the galaxy needed to be prepared to defend itself from the Vong, and that's a justification for the whole Empire. So when Thrawn tried to go kill the New Republic, that was apparently because he thought the New Republic was too weak and sentimental to be ready to fight the Vong.
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Feb 14, 2021 18:39
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SlothfulCobra posted:Over time I've grown to dislike Grand Admiral Thrawn more, not just because I feel like his original trilogy was kinda dumb, but because the general principle of admiring your bad opponent for how smart he is has kinda soured on me. Thrawn reminds me a little of the way that some people idolize Rommel as "the good nazi" who doesn't really share the ideology of the regime he serves even though he'll serve it loyally. yeah i think he worked a lot better in his original appearance where he's just a straight villain and the idea of an imperial who's not a cartoon villain was vaguely new. the whole "defend the galaxy against the Vong" retcon is at best kinda dumb but it's at its worst when people forget the empire was hilariously stupid and inefficient and probably would have gotten murdered even faster
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Feb 14, 2021 19:49
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