UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

mrpwase: Apr 21, 2010; I HAVE GREAT AVATAR IDEAS
For the Many, Not the Few

I can understand the whole 'put a load of original content in your recipe page so Google likes it' thing, or the 'have people scroll down a lot to find the recipe so you can fit more ads on the page' thing

But I absolutely cannot excuse having to convert from US customary to metric, we should start a war over this

# ? Feb 17, 2021 19:23

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 04:58

oh no computer: May 27, 2003

i hate how american recipes measure everything by volume. do none of them own scales?

# ? Feb 17, 2021 19:28

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Steakandchips posted:

The point is that it's 99% garbage and 1% menu, you fool.

Don't read it, you utter buffoon.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 19:30

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

Sunswipe posted:

Don't read it, you utter buffoon.

Sounds like someone's getting defensive over their recipe website with a bunch of shite on it.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 19:38

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

mrpwase posted:

I can understand the whole 'put a load of original content in your recipe page so Google likes it' thing, or the 'have people scroll down a lot to find the recipe so you can fit more ads on the page' thing

But I absolutely cannot excuse having to convert from US customary to metric, we should start a war over this

Yeah I thought it was for the Google crawling

Bit like the old trick of adding a billion buzzwords in tiny white text at the bottom of your CV when you upload it to an agency which then uses a bot to scan it

# ? Feb 17, 2021 19:44

CancerCakes: Jan 10, 2006

I put courgette in my pizza base sauce, works well. I also make it in 5L batches and freeze, then use for pasta and chilli mother sauces as well. I made a squash Ragu that worked as a nice pizza base alternative too.

I just use mixed dried Italian herbs because I don't have fresh plants alive at the moment. Might plant some seeds this weekend though!

# ? Feb 17, 2021 19:45

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

quote:

me: *googles how to mash potatoes*

some food blogger: My childhood home was full of wind and light. On a brisk Autumn evening, it often felt as if the outside was in. My younger sister, my mother, our favourite cousin, our dog, our other dog, our dog�s sister, and I would sit on the floor in the living room for hours, lit only by the moon and candlelight

me: *scrolls for several minutes*

some food blogger: It was at that moment, with my tiny hands clasped tightly around a mason jar filled with fireflies, that I realised the true value of family. My dog and my dog�s sister came and sat quietly at my feet. We stared up at the sky together, and I felt truly connected to both the Earth at my feet and the ancestors who shared the blood that ran through them, for the first time realising that

me: *scrolls for several minutes*

some food blogger: and when we finally made it home, our cheeks flushed with laughter and cold, there were warm mashed potatoes waiting for us. I will always remember their fluffiness, perfectly mirroring the light feeling I carried with me for the entire next week. This is my favourite cousin�s recipe from that very day, modified slightly to not be loving awful. Boil an potato and smush it up with fork and botter. NOT A RAW, Salt, pepepr. In it

CancerCakes posted:

Might plant some seeds this weekend though!

valentines was last week

# ? Feb 17, 2021 19:46

Steakandchips: Apr 30, 2009

NotJustANumber99 posted:

Sounds like someone's getting defensive over their recipe website with a bunch of shite on it.

This.

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

e:

me: *googles how to mash potatoes*

some food blogger: My childhood home was full of wind and light. On a brisk Autumn evening, it often felt as if the outside was in. My younger sister, my mother, our favourite cousin, our dog, our other dog, our dog�s sister, and I would sit on the floor in the living room for hours, lit only by the moon and candlelight

me: *scrolls for several minutes*

some food blogger: It was at that moment, with my tiny hands clasped tightly around a mason jar filled with fireflies, that I realised the true value of family. My dog and my dog�s sister came and sat quietly at my feet. We stared up at the sky together, and I felt truly connected to both the Earth at my feet and the ancestors who shared the blood that ran through them, for the first time realising that

me: *scrolls for several minutes*

some food blogger: and when we finally made it home, our cheeks flushed with laughter and cold, there were warm mashed potatoes waiting for us. I will always remember their fluffiness, perfectly mirroring the light feeling I carried with me for the entire next week. This is my favourite cousin�s recipe from that very day, modified slightly to not be loving awful. Boil an potato and smush it up with fork and botter. NOT A RAW, Salt, pepepr. In it

Steakandchips fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Feb 17, 2021

# ? Feb 17, 2021 19:49

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

polluting our planet

is not the way :nono:

here's what captain planet

has. to. say :colbert:

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:13

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

oh no computer posted:

i hate how american recipes measure everything by volume. do none of them own scales?

Having lived there...no. Well, only if they're serious about baking.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:19

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

NotJustANumber99 posted:

Sounds like someone's getting defensive over their recipe website with a bunch of shite on it.

I hear what you're saying, and it sounds like "I'm a oval office who can't navigate a website."

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:22

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Infinite pages are a sin that offends God.

They are a digital tower of Babel that will bring only ruination.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:25

CancerCakes: Jan 10, 2006

All cooking quantities should be in mol.

Also recipes that don't combine the amounts into the instructions make me so angry. I am not going to Mise en place my dinner, give me the amounts as we go.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:25

Doctor_Fruitbat: Jun 2, 2013

goatface posted:

Infinite pages are a sin that offends God.

They are a digital tower of Babel that will bring only ruination.

Tell that to every illustrator who exclusively uploads to Twitter.

Why no, I didn't want to see your old work ever again, we'll just let those tweets pile up until your browser crashes when you attempt to reach them.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:32

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Pizza was good. Sauce was good. Vegan feta was good.

Thanks for enjoying this series of RatPosts

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:35

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

But don't become a RatPost yourself

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:35

Fingerless Gloves: May 21, 2011; ... aaand also go away and don't come back

This argument reminds me of my time spent in Tuscany at my Aunt's house. Each day, we would frolick through the hills, pretending to be pigs looking for truffles by masking our face into tree roots and chewing whatever we found, until we could just do no more. We would tiredly walk our way back to the house where our mother and aunt would be waiting with a pot filled with papers and papers of recipes and we would all pick one and read it, savouring the thoughts of our times in Tuscany at our Aunt's house. Each day, we would frolick through the hills, pretending to be pigs looking for truffles by masking our face into tree roots and chewing whatever we found, until we could just do no more. We would tiredly walk our way back to the house where our mother and aunt would be waiting with a pot filled with papers and papers of recipes and we would all pick one and read it, savouring the thoughts of our times in Tuscany at our Aunt's house. Each day, we would frolick through the hills, pretending to be pigs looking for truffles by masking our face into tree roots and chewing whatever we found, until we could just do no more. We would tiredly walk our way back to the house where our mother and aunt would be waiting with a pot filled with papers and papers of recipes and we would all pick one and read it, savouring the thoughts of our times in Tuscany at our Aunt's house.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:35

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

el dingo posted:

Its basil

I tried making pizza with basil once, but it didn't taste good.

The recipe must have been fawlty.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:37

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

hyper from Pixie Sticks posted:

I tried making pizza with basil once, but it didn't taste good.

The recipe must have been fawlty.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:43

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

siberianhamsterjaculation

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:46

oh no computer: May 27, 2003

Doctor_Fruitbat posted:

Why no, I didn't want to see your old work ever again, we'll just let those tweets pile up until your browser crashes when you attempt to reach them.

This is the main reason I stopped using Fitocracy as a workout tracker, I'd been using it since 2012 and had logged well over 1000 workouts, but your feed only loads 15 at a time so getting to the bottom required me scrolling down and waiting for the next 15 to load like 80-90 times or whatever.

In the end I got fed up with it and wrote a python script that scrapes the workout feed and converts it to a json file so that I could import it to a database.

oh no computer fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Feb 17, 2021

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:48

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Fingerless Gloves posted:

This argument reminds me of my time spent in Tuscany at my Aunt's house. Each day, we would frolick through the hills, pretending to be pigs looking for truffles by masking our face into tree roots and chewing whatever we found, until we could just do no more. We would tiredly walk our way back to the house where our mother and aunt would be waiting with a pot filled with papers and papers of recipes and we would all pick one and read it, savouring the thoughts of our times in Tuscany at our Aunt's house. Each day, we would frolick through the hills, pretending to be pigs looking for truffles by masking our face into tree roots and chewing whatever we found, until we could just do no more. We would tiredly walk our way back to the house where our mother and aunt would be waiting with a pot filled with papers and papers of recipes and we would all pick one and read it, savouring the thoughts of our times in Tuscany at our Aunt's house. Each day, we would frolick through the hills, pretending to be pigs looking for truffles by masking our face into tree roots and chewing whatever we found, until we could just do no more. We would tiredly walk our way back to the house where our mother and aunt would be waiting with a pot filled with papers and papers of recipes and we would all pick one and read it, savouring the thoughts of our times in Tuscany at our Aunt's house.

It reminds me of romping with my school chums in the fens and spinneys, when the twilight bathed the hedgerows like a lambent flame.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:53

Daktar: Aug 19, 2008; I done turned 'er head into a slug an' now she's a-stucked!

oh no computer posted:

This is the main reason I stopped using Fitocracy as a workout tracker, I'd been using it since 2012 and had logged well over 1000 workouts, but your feed only loads 15 at a time so getting to the bottom required me scrolling down and waiting for the next 15 to load like 80-90 times or whatever.

In the end I got fed up with it and wrote a python script that scrapes the workout feed and converts it to a json file so that I could import it to a database.

gently caress also podcast sites that do this. Some of them let you reverse the feed so you can get at the earlier ones easier. Great! Now do the ones in the middle. Podbay used to have a perfectly simple plaintext list with links to each of the episodes until they changed to their current abomination. I've yet to find something like how it was.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:57

cynic: Jan 19, 2004

oh no computer posted:

i hate how american recipes measure everything by volume. do none of them own scales?

I dislike the habit of using tins of soup or packets of powered sauce mix as basic ingredients. Mostly see it with french onion or condensed mushroom soup for some reason. They aren't ingredients dammit, if I'm looking for recipes I don't expect to see the culinary equivalent of dumping some frozen prawns and tabasco into a sweet and sour pot noodle and calling it a day (I have done this drunk, can recommend)

# ? Feb 17, 2021 20:57

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

This is my favourite recipe
https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/cucumber-raita-104741

Not because of the tzatziki

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 17, 2021 21:00

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

but because of this review

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 17, 2021 21:00

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

i'm the person that added a diced apple, for some reason

# ? Feb 17, 2021 21:11

Skarsnik: Oct 21, 2008; I...AM...RUUUDE!

Ratjaculation posted:

but because of this review

Finding reviews that change the most ingredients is a boredom hobby of mine. BBC good food is amazing for it

# ? Feb 17, 2021 21:25

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

It's a good hobby that.

Its just a shame Bones187 didn't enjoy his orange juice

# ? Feb 17, 2021 21:39

Bape Culture: Sep 13, 2006

Skarsnik posted:

Finding reviews that change the most ingredients is a boredom hobby of mine. BBC good food is amazing for it

It would be W good thread. I once saw a review on farrow and ball and they voted Hague blue a 1 because they actually wanted green in the end. Hahahaha

# ? Feb 17, 2021 21:52

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

I think I'm most comfortable amongst a crowd of the kind of people that read farrow and ball reviews.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 22:10

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Make a thread and make Bones187 more famous

# ? Feb 17, 2021 22:12

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

NotJustANumber99 posted:

I think I'm most comfortable amongst a crowd of the kind of people that read farrow and ball reviews.

I had to google what that was, so it just cements us as enemies really

# ? Feb 17, 2021 22:13

oh no computer: May 27, 2003

https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080506161832AAqFVr2

# ? Feb 17, 2021 22:16

Bape Culture: Sep 13, 2006

Wanting chalky paint for ur period property is very bad of course. But spending multiples of that on graphics cards, or miniature monsters, is good, actually.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 22:21

Gasmask: Apr 27, 2003; And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee

cups can go gently caress themselves but sometimes measuring by volume is cool and good

# ? Feb 17, 2021 22:28

Skarsnik: Oct 21, 2008; I...AM...RUUUDE!

Sorry for the potato quality, its an old screenshot. It was for sherried sardines on toast. They didn't even use the sherry vinegar

# ? Feb 17, 2021 22:30

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

If there were a million people on earth and we all spread out equally how far away would the next guy be?

# ? Feb 17, 2021 22:47

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

20-something km.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 23:04

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 04:58

mrpwase: Apr 21, 2010; I HAVE GREAT AVATAR IDEAS
For the Many, Not the Few

I walked that far today, so it's good to hear I would be able to say hi to my neighbour

# ? Feb 17, 2021 23:05

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