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Rockman Reserve posted:it was probably a decade ago but i still remember this guy who was hired to fill an important technical role on a critical project, straight out of mcdonalds. the dude honestly thought he was being hired for a managerial position at first. wore a black trenchcoat all the time, had long gross unwashed hair, and operated his smartphone with his disgustingly greasy nose because he wore leather gloves all the fuckin' time in 60 degree weather. had no idea how any of our projects worked, had a vague understanding of most technical things but thought he was the biggest goddamn genius around, openly talked about his multi TB anime collection but was quick to assure coworkers - completely unprompted - that he didn't like hentai Even in 2011 weren't these guys a joke? 
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Feb 18, 2021 18:04
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AHH F/UGH posted:Even in 2011 weren't these guys a joke? i mean, yes. very much so. hence my confusion at them getting through the hiring process, which involved some very nice and normal-seeming HR people in addition to the tech people from our team the turning point for the first guy was when there was a huge critical production outage and i was in the office of the clientside PM, explaining what we'd ruled out already and what other possible causes there were, and our plan to tackle those. this dude busts into the room, interrupts us and says "i think it's because of XYZ!" XYZ was, of course, something we'd ruled out hours beforehand. the PM glared at the guy, and asked "do you THINK it's because of that? or do you KNOW?" and the guy snort-laughs and says "i think...." "then shut the gently caress up and get out of my office." guy was gone within the month.
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Feb 18, 2021 18:24
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AHH F/UGH posted:Even in 2011 weren't these guys a joke? Was there ever a time there cool? Ciao, Xorlock, Senior Vice President of Conquering Worlds
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Feb 18, 2021 18:39
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cynic posted:I have to wear a shirt and tie. To internal meetings with my own team, all working from home. I work in tech where the normal dress code is often... casual. I ask about dress code during initial interviews. If they mention slacks or tie, I tell them I'm no longer interested. One place was a credit union - their reason was that tech people need to know the front end of the business because they actually have them work teller shifts once in a while. wut. Queen Victorian posted:Eh, my perception is probably distorted because I’ve only worked at small companies. Previous job was like a 12-person company so poisoning the entire work environment with one lovely person was extremely easy to do, but also easy to prevent if you minimally involve a couple extra team members to screen for shittiness (which they didn’t do, of course). My new company is similarly small and much better at involving all relevant people in hiring and the result is a much more harmonious team with no assholes. Current company and the last one did this, which was different. Both are small companies, so it's probably to ensure I would get along with everyone. Interview with management in the morning, lunch with the team, then continued team interview/tour of the facilities in the afternoon. Cordialment, Napalm
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Feb 18, 2021 18:56
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Rockman Reserve posted:"then shut the gently caress up and get out of my office." this is a regular occurrence with a team leader here who i despise i'll be working a problem, figure out the root cause and come up with a workable solution and fucko will kramer his way in and because he's a team leader, his opinions outweigh my expertise so we'll waste time and gently caress things up worse until eventually my way is realized to be correct. as much as i wish to say "shut the gently caress up you're out of your element", that sort of language is frowned upon in professional environments as for hiring people off the street for jobs they are not qualified to do; we hired a kid to do sub-assembly work for us, not very complicated and repetitive, but an understand of mechanical drawings and bills of material are important his previous work experience was the timmies down the street he had to be trained from scratch and 3 years later is still proving to be a dumbass
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Feb 18, 2021 19:02
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In my office it's collared shirts (polos are fine, company logo'd ones encouraged which they give out for free), dark pants (no jeans) and dark colored running sneakers or casual business shoes Basically they want us to look like we're assistant basketball coaches at a practice. Occasionally customers come and take tours of our corporate offices and the company owner likes it if we look like we're about to go to a tee time. A lot of guys will tuck their shirt in but I wear a black polo and black pants so usually people can't tell. Women can basically just do whatever except t-shirts Of course these days when I stop by the office for a few minutes every week I just wear a t-shirt and swears.
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Feb 18, 2021 19:08
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MA-Horus posted:i'll be working a problem, figure out the root cause and come up with a workable solution and fucko will kramer his way in and because he's a team leader, his opinions outweigh my expertise Last time it happened, it became a clear case of moving goalposts to satisfy the "leader's" ego. Since then, I won't even put up a fight when it happens. Want to do something stupid and wrong? Go ahead. As long as the paycheck clears, IDGAF.
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Feb 18, 2021 19:23
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Jeza posted:I imagine a big reason that most companies don't frequently include future co-workers in the hiring process is that it just creates a source of potential tension and introduces bias into the selection process. Not saying there's none of either of those things already, but asking people their preferred hire and then hiring someone else just makes people mad. Likewise, some engineers or whatnot may 'mysteriously' disapprove of a large number of female candidates and so on. A few years ago I got to sit in on an interview and was not happy, but not surprised when my manager went against my recommendation. The person I wanted us to hire had ten years experience with the sales software we used, had a good grasp of our quote/sales process in the interview, lots of time working directly with vendors and customers, etc. The person we hired was a six-month-out-of-college son of a senior manager for a different department with no work experience and his qualification was "my dad talks about the company all the time." I never got to find out if my manager's theory that "he's young and dynamic; no bad habits to break him out of!" was a valid theory because he lasted two days. The third day he came in late and quit. I was getting coffee when he walked past and told me he was leaving because the night before he got a call about a job with a different department he interviewed and was rejected for months earlier. Turns out they suddenly had an opening in the Texas office and needed him there in a week. My theory is that his dad found out who hired him and pulled strings to get him as far away from my toxic manager as possible, both to keep him from losing his job when our team was axed (it was announced that was happening like two months later) and to not owe anything to my manager. This double hosed her because it had taken six months to get the requisition for a new hire approved and we needed the help. Now that the requisition was closed it would take another six or so months to get a new one and she had failed to win any points with someone who may have hired her when her own job was gone.
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Feb 18, 2021 19:41
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AHH F/UGH posted:We have a branch in Hawaii so I got to this exchange today I work in Hawaii and sign all my emails (external) with either mahalo or aloha, it's pretty common for the person on the other end to adopt that when replying.
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Feb 18, 2021 19:46
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I worked for a company whose turnover is in the billions of dollars. My department (the web nerds) were responsible for 20% of company income but they HATED that (the internet is RUINING JOURNALISM, and automated advert bidding was RUINING SALES, and social media is DESTROYING EVERYTHING). To be honest new technology was gutting traditional departments, but that's just progress right? Anyway, because we were despised, they shoved us in a part of an obscure office in an corner of that office known as the swamp. Converted warehouse space, no aircon, glass roof, loving pigeons nesting up there and making GBS threads on you. Fungus grew in the corners, and there was some dude who pebbledashed the adjacent toilet cubicles at least once every few days and stank the whole place out. Every month one of the directors would fly over just to scream at us for RUINING JOURNALISM until he was red in the face. I don't know how much he earned but easily mid-six-figures of benefits. Used to take two days out of his week to fly business class to the worlds dankest poo poo-stinkingest office, shout his shortass self almost unconscious at a bunch of random nerds, and fly back again. No idea what it ever achieved, and he got quietly shitbinned a few months after I quit anyway. I like to imagine this is how he spent his days, flying out to one of many far-flung shithole local offices and just screaming at people until he was hoarse and about to stroke out.
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Feb 18, 2021 19:52
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We say mahalo back as silly joke, just FYI but you’re probably aware
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Feb 18, 2021 19:53
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Like we see it and do the beavis and butthead laugh
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Feb 18, 2021 19:56
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MA-Horus posted:
I used to be in industries like underground mining and now Im in an office job in a professional environment and I miss being able to tell people how I really feel. I miss it a lot
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Feb 18, 2021 19:56
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Lazyfire posted:
oh god I can hear my director saying this to me, this was one of his things why you gotta reopen wounds
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Feb 18, 2021 19:56
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AHH F/UGH posted:We say mahalo back as silly joke, just FYI but you’re probably aware That's what I get for dashing off a reply at work! I figured it was a joke thing in your case, it's just one of those weird things I've never encountered before, where everyone starts adopting it no matter where they're from. It's kinda fun
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Feb 18, 2021 20:01
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NapalmWeasel posted:I ask about dress code during initial interviews. If they mention slacks or tie, I tell them I'm no longer interested. One place was a credit union - their reason was that tech people need to know the front end of the business because they actually have them work teller shifts once in a while. wut. Place I was on about yesterday had a rota for reception cover amongst the 30 or so members of staff that weren't management, simply because the Receptionist/Directors PA went to lunch together. I was never informed of this until about 5 weeks into working there, the deskphone intercom screams 'GOLDSKULL REPORT TO RECEPTION. IMMEDIATELY.' Upon my arrival I'm berated by the two old crone double team for being late, as they walk out of the door. I'm still none the loving wiser so I go back to my office, at which point my colleague starts explaining to me said rota. He says just answer it, and whoever they want just ask them to ring back after 2 as they're 'in a meeting', nobody will pick up even if you transfer it. I later learned you could indefinitely postpone this ridiculous bullshit by firmly stating you had a deadline to work to, before the one decent manager just flat out said "we have 3 interns here, just get them to cover it, my dept aren't doing this anymore." Once again, gently caress that place.
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Feb 18, 2021 20:24
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Code Jockey posted:oh god I can hear my director saying this to me, this was one of his things It's amazing just how bad that turns out for everyone at all times and yet it is still pervasive. There are jobs that are totally great for people to start out in, or people with limited experience to really learn in, but you take such a huge risk with some random person who "may" help you out despite you acknowledging that they have no idea what they are doing or even how to do it.
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Feb 18, 2021 20:31
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I am currently job hunting and I am trying to figure out some questions to ask to try and figure out if a new job is going to be one of the hellscapes from this thread. Like asking "how long has your longest employee been there" to figure out if everyone quits within a year, or "who is your critical employee and how do you cope when they are on holiday?" I have had some luck asking "what was your longest day last week?", people are surprisingly honest in interviews
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Feb 18, 2021 21:05
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Dear Watson posted:I used to be in industries like underground mining and now Im in an office job in a professional environment and I miss being able to tell people how I really feel. Yeah, not as many feelings to hurt in a trades industry usually. Being able to say "no, your idea is stupid and you should feel bad" to an idiot engineer that earns twice my pay is very cathartic.
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Feb 18, 2021 21:11
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Teaching is brutal work but they will let you do it in jeans and a T-shirt.
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Feb 18, 2021 21:18
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Dongsturm posted:Like asking "how long has your longest employee been there" to figure out if everyone quits within a year, or "who is your critical employee and how do you cope when they are on holiday?" Yeah, that might not work, my current company has people who have been there 40 years but they only did that by switching off the parts of their brain that feel joy. These people are to be celebrated and idolised for they have abandoned all that makes them 'them' in return for a pathetic paycheque and a weekend break in Europe (flights and accommodation only). People have died here before receiving their 2 nights in a 3* hotel in Barcelona! People with a soul quit at around 6 months - 4 years depending on their stamina and how long they need on their resume.
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Feb 18, 2021 21:31
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wa27 posted:I'm a little confused. If the sender doesn't work for your company, how could your boss fire them on the spot? Wait, what? We all work for the same company and under the same boss. Maybe I worded that crappy. God the weed industry is full of assholes though.
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Feb 18, 2021 21:37
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cynic posted:Yeah, that might not work, my current company has people who have been there 40 years but they only did that by switching off the parts of their brain that feel joy. These people are to be celebrated and idolised for they have abandoned all that makes them 'them' in return for a pathetic paycheque and a weekend break in Europe (flights and accommodation only). People have died here before receiving their 2 nights in a 3* hotel in Barcelona! People with a soul quit at around 6 months - 4 years depending on their stamina and how long they need on their resume. Yeah, you're right. And I'm probably not going to get an honest answer to "how many hours do you spend crying in the bathroom? "
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Feb 18, 2021 21:37
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Dongsturm posted:I am currently job hunting and I am trying to figure out some questions to ask to try and figure out if a new job is going to be one of the hellscapes from this thread. My favourites interview questions just turn the standard bullshit back on them. It's a good reminder that you're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you and lets you know if you're just filling a hole or they really want you there. . Why did my successor leave this position? Why do you think I'd be a good fit for the organization? Where do you see me in 5 years if I'm successful? (if they can't answer this or say 'doing the same job' it's a good sign to run away or assume you'll need an exit strategy in next 3 years) Out of the last 5 people to have my position, how many quit? What do you expect me to accomplish in the next 12 months? In the next 5 years?
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Feb 18, 2021 21:56
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Outrail posted:My favourites interview questions just turn the standard bullshit back on them. It's a good reminder that you're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you and lets you know if you're just filling a hole or they really want you there. . That first one is hella forward-looking, don't you think?  I like 2, 3, and 5 though. I'll have to keep these in mind!
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Feb 18, 2021 22:15
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Queen Victorian posted:Did your work like run this guy/his resume by you or let you meet him before they hired him? Or was it just “here is your new colleague have fun”? Nah they didn’t run him by me at all, but I was pretty new to the company at the time, only been there for a few weeks and the current one was moving to a new job in like a week, so they basically wanted a body. Given the situation I don’t really hate them for it, he clearly bluffed about his familiarity with networking, and he still does to this day and refuses to learn. Even though I can’t stand him, being able to dump the VOIP poo poo to him makes my day a lot less annoying, if he were willing to learn and not an jackass it’d be a pretty good situation. Like, if he’s wrong about something and someone explains why, he doesn’t even hear what the person said, and plainly says his idea again without even rephrasing it. His brain just blocks it out. Even in chat messages, if he messages me a question, I give him the answer and he doesn’t like it, he asks it 2 or 3 more times in a row. There have been several occasions where on the last one I screenshot my last 4 messages and hyper zoom it in and send him that lol Tetramin fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Feb 18, 2021 |
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Feb 18, 2021 22:43
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Tetramin posted:Nah they didn’t run him by me at all, but I was pretty new to the company at the time, only been there for a few weeks and the current one was moving to a new job in like a week, so they basically wanted a body. Given the situation I don’t really hate them for it, he clearly bluffed about his familiarity with networking, and he still does to this day and refuses to learn. Ahhh, the ol' FWD of the exact same original email of the new ages.
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Feb 18, 2021 23:32
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Zarin posted:That first one is hella forward-looking, don't you think? No, it's important to ask that. One of my predecessors left because she had a legit breakdown and couldn't do the job anymore and no one wanted to take over her responsibilities. I would have loved to know that before finding out how hosed I was.
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Feb 19, 2021 02:47
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Lazyfire posted:No, it's important to ask that. One of my predecessors left because she had a legit breakdown and couldn't do the job anymore and no one wanted to take over her responsibilities. I would have loved to know that before finding out how hosed I was. Your original message asked why your successor left 
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Feb 19, 2021 04:20
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Surprisingly, the guy with the Robert E. Lee quote in his email signature was not the world's biggest rear end in a top hat. He could be an rear end in a top hat, sure, but he was a fair rear end in a top hat. (I don't know about his politics. I can guess at them, but they never came up and I didn't ask.)
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Feb 19, 2021 05:10
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A Small Car posted:I work in Hawaii and sign all my emails (external) with either mahalo or aloha, it's pretty common for the person on the other end to adopt that when replying. In Texas it's "Howdy," and "Happy Trails" respectively.
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Feb 19, 2021 05:55
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"hey manager, I think I figured out how to automate this thing that takes up a lot of time for no good reason and keeps us from doing our jobs" "no just do the thing" please god let me just fix the technical debt already or at least SOME of it.
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Feb 19, 2021 06:07
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E:Lmao hilariously wrong thread but don’t worry I just saw my email and will have content in mere loving hours Jesus Murphy
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Feb 19, 2021 07:10
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Kind regards, for an external email to someone I haven't dealt with before. Regards, for external emails to people I've dealt with on a few occasions, maybe internal upper management as well depending on how serious the content is Thanks, for literally every other situation except Cheers, for a particularly spicy email (usually one that's included the phrase "as per previous email") Thankfully I don't have any insane stories like many of the ones posted in this thread, American corporate culture just seems weird as gently caress a lot of the time. The general manager of my first ever office job was a complete arsehole, though since I was only 18 and didn't know any better I just thought it was pretty normal. Some of his highlights included: - berating a mid-level manager for a super minor issue, bringing her to tears in front of 30+ staff members - full on, up against the wall, jabbing finger in face, R. Lee Emery style drill sergeant yelling. - threatening to castrate a guy on my team because a system had gone down and about 10 casual staffers had nothing to do, "just loving fix it or I'll cut your loving balls off". - We moved offices about 100 metres up the street and he thought the removalist quotes were a ripoff, so the entire 30-person company spent the whole day lugging furniture, boxes, computers etc back and forth along a busy six-lane highway. Around 4:30 when we'd finished most of the moving, exhausted and grimly conscious of how much of our actual jobs still needed to be done, someone joking suggested the company should at least give us a few beers as compensation (this is Australia, casual workplace drinking particularly on Friday afternoon is pretty common). His response was "you expect a reward for performing your duties as instructed? You get to keep your job, that's your reward" - Cancelled the traditional annual Melbourne Cup luncheon, because one year he bought up a bunch of horses in the sweep and lost to a junior staffer who'd been with us for about three weeks - Over lunch one day I was in the breakroom watching news about the Afghanistan invasion (this was in 2003 or whenever). He watched TV for a few minutes making a coffee, glanced at me and said "who cares, they're only loving sand n****rs" and walked off He was completely untouchable as well, because there was no HR department, all of the managers under him were terrified of him, and we were owned by a sub-branch of a sub-branch of some random American multi-national in a totally unrelated industry. I have no idea how that even happened, so I assume it was something like that 50 Foot Ant story posted a bunch of pages back. These days I'm self-employed, so my dumb work stories are mostly self-inflicted! Plus the typical freelancer experience of "your work is fantastic and we love your style, we don't have any budget at the moment but we can provide great exposure for you on our social media!!!" or "thanks for sending that, unfortunately our requirements have changed and you'll need to re-do the whole thing, but we can't pay any extra" and so on webmeister fucked around with this message at 07:46 on Feb 19, 2021 |
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Feb 19, 2021 07:43
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My coworker signs her emails off with "with kindest regards, ". Where on the alignment is that?
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Feb 19, 2021 07:46
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I work in an ER. Every year the staff have tedious mandatory recertification on no-brainer things we do dozens of times per shift like urine pregnancy tests or fingerstick blood glucose tests. These tests are essentially idiot proof. You can buy them OTC. Meanwhile there is a machine we have called the Level 1 infuser for massive transfusion into trauma patients that I'm pretty sure 99% of the staff could not use in an emergency because of how rarely we use it and the fact that outside of when we are hired we never have to re-train on it.
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Feb 19, 2021 07:58
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Amarcarts posted:I work in an ER. Every year the staff have tedious mandatory recertification on no-brainer things we do dozens of times per shift like urine pregnancy tests or fingerstick blood glucose tests. These tests are essentially idiot proof. You can buy them OTC. Meanwhile there is a machine we have called the Level 1 infuser for massive transfusion into trauma patients that I'm pretty sure 99% of the staff could not use in an emergency because of how rarely we use it and the fact that outside of when we are hired we never have to re-train on it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_triviality
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Feb 19, 2021 08:59
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Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:My coworker signs her emails off with "with kindest regards, ". Where on the alignment is that? She’s a Paladin, OP
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Feb 19, 2021 13:54
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One of the 6 teams Im on has 8 people. 4 of them, including me, put in out notice in the past two weeks. Management gave the four of us a hearfelt plea to work as hard as we can during our exit as they have no one to replace us. I considered buying an inkstained burlap sack before I looked down on them and whispered "no" Barudak fucked around with this message at 14:13 on Feb 19, 2021 |
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Feb 19, 2021 14:09
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my company is global and does a lot of business in japan and germany. holy gently caress do i get a giggle watching my anglo co-workers try to use japanese and german pre/suffixes/honorifics correctly. do not, under any circumstances, use -kun when e-mailing a company vp. they do not find it kawaii
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Feb 19, 2021 14:22
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