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Nightmare Cinema
Apr 4, 2020

no.

euphronius posted:

Aotc and rots are both really well made. I get why people don’t enjoy them tho. Especially aotc, it asked a lot of the viewer

"The women... and the children... I KILLED THEM ALL"

*Anakin throws saber*

Padme, nonchalant monotone: "To be angry is to be human Anni."

Wow, I wonder why?

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Captain Splendid
Jan 7, 2009

Qu'en pense Caffarelli?

Alchenar posted:

A couple of original AT-ATs being in the scene alongside the ridiculous First Order Ones because that's the only way you would be able to tell they were 'bigger and better' is a full blown unintentional metaphor for how the Sequel Films have nothing to offer but to mimic the OT.

Oh, those aren't even originals! They're the First Order's very own AT-ATs, which just happen to be almost indistinguishable from the originals.

ungulateman
Apr 18, 2012

pretentious fuckwit who isn't half as literate or insightful or clever as he thinks he is

Nightmare Cinema posted:

"The women... and the children... I KILLED THEM ALL"

*Anakin throws saber*

Padme, nonchalant monotone: "To be angry is to be human Anni."

Wow, I wonder why?

do you stand up in the movie theater and yell "don't go in there!!!" when the drunk teenagers walk towards a haunted house in a horror movie

Ingmar terdman
Jul 24, 2006

One of the cooler things about AOTC/ROTS is how the "payoffs" of closing the 6-episode loop ("finally, see the fall of the republic/anakin/the jedi") in the final movie is that all of those things already happened in the previous movie. All that's really left for the last film to do is change surface things, like taking all of the color out of the republic fleet and clone armor and changing the name of the republic to the empire. And of course putting the suit on anakin and giving obi a haircut. Amazing sleight of hand

Nightmare Cinema
Apr 4, 2020

no.

ungulateman posted:

do you stand up in the movie theater and yell "don't go in there!!!" when the drunk teenagers walk towards a haunted house in a horror movie

That's not even a remotely close comparison.

Really... what??

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN
^^^^^
Padme isn’t “monotone”. Portman does a fine job of acting confused and distraught. Watch the scene again.

The reason why the scene is offputting for most viewers is that Padme doesn’t give a poo poo about the sand people. You may understand that Anakin did something very bad, but Padme is mainly concerned that her boyfriend is having a mental breakdown. So, she is talking quietly to soothe him.

Acting calm is the wrong thing for Padme to do, but that is the point of the movies.

Snowman_McK posted:

It's actually interesting that, while the First Order are usually just empire/sith fanboys mindlessly copying the empire without understanding why, their version of the AT-AT, while being bigger, is actually a bit more practical, with more guns, armour in sensible places and guns with a wider arc of fire

This fairly popular interpretation points to the actual failure of the designs: the First Order are meant to be specifically Vader fantastics. Whatever story there is in these films depends on that fact.

Ignoring the EU’s horseshit, the very name “First Order” is a reference to Vader’s attempt to ally his anti-Palpatine contingent with Luke’s freedom fighters: “with our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.”

If all the textual evidence isn’t enough, Abrams has said that the First Order specifically views Vader as a martyr - and Vader specifically died in the process of killing Sheev Palpatine. The First Order canonically hates Sheev, and would not identify themselves as Imperials at all.

So, the First Order’s technology should, logically, be something radically new. It’s the New Republic who should partially regress to the prequel era, with ‘obscene’ mixtures like Star Destroyers full of X-Wings and Jedis flying Tie fighters, etc.

In this way, we can identify the only really good vehicle design in the entire ST: Kylo Ren’s shuttle. It looks very vaguely similar to the one Vader used, but without the Imperial aesthetic.

SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 05:14 on Feb 25, 2021

Ingmar terdman
Jul 24, 2006

Kylo's shuttle looks like vader's castle, upward-turned tuning forks

Maarak
May 23, 2007

"Go for it!"

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

If all the textual evidence isn’t enough, Abrams has said that the First Order specifically views Vader as a martyr - and Vader specifically died in the process of killing Sheev Palpatine. The First Order canonically hates Sheev, and would not identify themselves as Imperials at all.

Did anyone else besides Luke know this?

Assepoester
Jul 18, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Melman v2
Real missed opportunity to have the New Republic flying around in a bunch of repainted star destroyers IMO

Blood Boils
Dec 27, 2006

Its not an S, on my planet it means QUIPS

Maarak posted:

Did anyone else besides Luke know this?

IIRC Rey argues with him about it regarding Kylo, not sure if it's because he told her or she knew from learning about the falcon on the holonet

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

Maarak posted:

Did anyone else besides Luke know this?

The biggest conceit of the ST is that everyone somehow knows exactly what happened in the throne room, and the two factions are basically defined by how they interpret those events.

The New Republic believes Luke won by converting Vader back to Republicanism, while the First Order (more accurately) believes Vader never compromised in his pursuit of something new.

Almost Blue
Apr 18, 2018

No Mods No Masters posted:

CD's beloved boy chris terrio does come across as the one with regrets about the whole thing. I'd be interested in hearing more from him about the whole debacle, something along the lines of the embarrassing but interesting post mortem jon kasdan did for solo. But then he's not somebody's son so he probably has to keep his mouth shut more

I just found Kasdan's list of stuff about Solo – one of the first few points is straight up "this didn't work, it hurt the flow of the story, and made the film uninteresting until Chewbacca showed up but we didn't really care"

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013

Glottis posted:

This thought occurred to me today - what if JJ Abrams, who we all know filmed like 8 hours of nonsense to make The Rise of Skywalker, is seeing all the news about The Snyder Cut hoping that he'll make The JJ Cut? It actually wouldn't surprise me if the real movie he wanted to make is somehow hidden on the cutting room floor.


Of course that movie probably also sucks.

Abrams always has a lot of projects in the pipeline that he can jump to producing or directing, so very unlikely
Besides, Disney+ is not as desperate as HBO MAX for that kind of exclusives and if they need fanbaity polishing project they can always break emergency glass and do proper "demastered" version of OT without Jedi Rocks and other bullshit

Elfgames
Sep 11, 2011

Fun Shoe

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

The biggest conceit of the ST is that everyone somehow knows exactly what happened in the throne room, and the two factions are basically defined by how they interpret those events.

The New Republic believes Luke won by converting Vader back to Republicanism, while the First Order (more accurately) believes Vader never compromised in his pursuit of something new.

of course luke won by convincing vader that he could create a jedi order that wasn't awful. oops

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

Almost Blue posted:

I just found Kasdan's list of stuff about Solo – one of the first few points is straight up "this didn't work, it hurt the flow of the story, and made the film uninteresting until Chewbacca showed up but we didn't really care"

It's a pretty incredible document, both for how rare it is to have someone involved in disney wars speak honestly and for how embarrassing that honesty is

Vintersorg
Mar 3, 2004

President of
the Brendan Fraser
Fan Club



I wish there was like a leak of the Lord + Miller version and maybe some short scenes they filmed.

AdmiralViscen
Nov 2, 2011

Link to this Kasdan thing please

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

AdmiralViscen posted:

Link to this Kasdan thing please

https://twitter.com/JonKasdan/status/1040529501870944256

See the full thread to make sure you get all the amazing solo facts

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
LOL at "the Dickensian element" and "we wanted Mimban to evoke Kubrick's Path's of Glory"

Ingmar terdman
Jul 24, 2006

I forgot woody is wearing lando's jabba disguise. Embarrassing

It's too bad the movie looks like dishwater

e: just realized that Rey's father, the talentless failson of the only competent man in Star Wars, is a subtle nod to Jon Kasdan

Ingmar terdman fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Feb 25, 2021

Larryb
Oct 5, 2010

I remember Solo being watchable but mediocre at best. But then again it’s been a while since I saw it.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe

Larryb posted:

I remember Solo being watchable but mediocre at best. But then again it’s been a while since I saw it.

It was watchable but the main issue with it that prevents me from ever wanting to go back and rewatch it is:

Ingmar terdman posted:

It's too bad the movie looks like dishwater

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

Have been laughing today whenever I remember that jon kasdan wrote all that because no one else involved in the movie was willing to do a commentary track with him

Ingmar terdman
Jul 24, 2006

Lol yeah I was thinking it sounds like stuff he was hoping to reveal at convention panels

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
I'm on page 2 now, I can't get enough of all these references to legit great movies. "The lodge was inspired by Robert Altman's McCabe & Mrs. Miller". Altman would loving puke if he heard that.

Vintersorg
Mar 3, 2004

President of
the Brendan Fraser
Fan Club



I am reading he's one of the writers on the Indiana Jones project. :lol:

And the 1st episode of Willow.

:lol:

Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017

My main takeaway from Solo was and is "It's a good movie. It's a bad Star Wars movie."

Although Enfys shrinking two feet after she takes her helmet off is some of the best comedy from Star Wars in years

Almost Blue
Apr 18, 2018
This last point about Maul is really funny because it's a "no, no, it all makes sense if you read the comics and watch the cartoons" but from the actual writer of the movie.

2house2fly
Nov 14, 2012

You did a super job wrapping things up! And I'm not just saying that because I have to!
The only thing I really found memorable was the joke when they're escaping Kessel and Lando says they have to watch out for The Maw, and then they get attacked by a giant space squid and Han says "is that The Maw?" and Lando says "no, I don't know what that is"

Robot Style
Jul 5, 2009

Basebf555 posted:

I'm on page 2 now, I can't get enough of all these references to legit great movies. "The lodge was inspired by Robert Altman's McCabe & Mrs. Miller". Altman would loving puke if he heard that.

To be fair, Star Wars has always had a heavy dose of "[MOVIE], but in space". A New Hope is The Hidden Fortress with the ending of The Dam Busters, Empire is The Thing From Another World / Gone With the Wind, and Jedi is the ideas from Lucas' version of Apocalypse Now that he didn't manage to get into the first movie.

Robot Style fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Feb 25, 2021

Larryb
Oct 5, 2010

2house2fly posted:

The only thing I really found memorable was the joke when they're escaping Kessel and Lando says they have to watch out for The Maw, and then they get attacked by a giant space squid and Han says "is that The Maw?" and Lando says "no, I don't know what that is"

The actors playing young Han and Lando were decent enough in my opinion at least.

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010

Vinylshadow posted:

My main takeaway from Solo was and is "It's a good movie. It's a bad Star Wars movie."

Although Enfys shrinking two feet after she takes her helmet off is some of the best comedy from Star Wars in years

Nah, it's just bad. It has no narrative focus at all. They should have picked one plot and gone with it.

I'd have gone with Han in the military, show him working hard to become a pilot, having setbacks, flunking out, coming back, triumphing, only for his first mission to be a war crime. He sabotages the attack and flies off and boom, you've created an arc where he ends up as the cynic he is when we meet him in ANH

Larryb posted:

The actors playing young Han and Lando were decent enough in my opinion at least.

Absolutely. It's one those movies where the cast deserved a much better film, much like Gangster Squad.

Robot Style
Jul 5, 2009

I remember hearing that a Han origin movie was one of the things that Lucas had an outline, or at least ideas for, when he sold Lucasfilm to Disney. If it's anything like the original backstory he had for the character, it would have a lot different.

George Lucas posted:

Han is around thirty years old. His parents might have been killed in a space battle with Han as the only survivor. There’s no real record about where the space gypsies found him. They run through the galaxy picking up all sorts of odds and ends. They may have won him in a game. They may have cheated someone out of him and thought they would sell him. He was kind of like a slave. Although the gypsies loved him in their own way, they were also mean to him. They used him for their own ends and he was very unhappy. They would send him out on dangerous missions and they would make him beg in the streets and that sort of thing. They abandoned him to the Wookiees when he was about seven years old; he lived with them for about five years.

From the time Han was twelve to the time he was fifteen, he was in the Space Academy. That’s where he learned to be a starpilot and he was very, very good—only he was such a hustler that he got caught selling exam answers to the class. He also tried to race one of the professors in a spaceship and crashed it in the process. He didn’t beat the professor, but he was booted out. Then he went around and did a lot of things, finally coming back to the Wookiees and meeting Chewbacca.

Then he went to the planet of Coonee, where he used to herd large animals called coldppedas, which have fifteen feet. They look something like a giraffe, about twenty-three feet tall, only with scales and a lizard head. Some of them are known to get as high as forty feet. They have huge hooves, which are round and soft. Their meat has an aphrodisiac quality, so they ship it all around the universe. He did that for three years.

Han then worked as a mechanic in a factory that built spaceships on a planet called Saberhing. He was on an assembly line. He fell into smuggling when he was about twenty. Smuggling was really the result of the Empire, which has such stringent rules about tariffs, and the trade companies, which are so strong, so monopolistic. Most legitimate operators were squeezed out of the business. So Han could be described as a smuggler, but in reality he’s a free-enterprise small businessman who is trading between gems and mechanical parts—whatever happened to be available. He would take material from one planet to another planet, and so on, taking his profit out along the way. Han outwitted the Empire on numerous occasions and he’s made some very fast deals. One of the problems is that he gambles quite heavily and loses most of his money. He’s tough and sharp, only he somehow never manages to scrape together enough money to get any power. As a matter of fact, I think he enjoys this: He’s slightly self-destructive and enjoys being on the brink of disaster. So he’s constantly putting everything he’s got into some high-risk venture, and sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses. You might meet him and he may be worth ten billion credits one day and the next time you meet him, he’s in debt up to his ears.

The Empire actually destroyed one of his ships, a bigger ship, not as fast as the Millennium Falcon . They blasted him and he had to drop a whole shipment in order to keep from getting caught. The Empire is really the Big Brother who watches over him and causes him trouble. He doesn’t really think of it as a political thing so much as somebody who is getting in his way, although he frequently works with, and for, bounty hunters, gangsters, Rebels, and the Empire if the price is right. “He has a girlfriend in every port.”

pospysyl
Nov 10, 2012



My version of Solo would be a approximately 30 minute short film where Han and Chewie work in a lame white collar company, get bored with their lives and decide to buy a crappy space freighter and become bounty hunters. They fly to the worst bar in the galaxy and sit down at a table, and then Ben and Luke walk up to their booth, the end. I'd call it Star Wars: Space Office.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
Yeah like 90% of my problem with the film is it just looks really awful, there's some story stuff that doesn't work but it's like the only Star Wars movie to not deliver at least some visual spectacle (Lando's patterned shirt notwithstanding.)

Vintersorg
Mar 3, 2004

President of
the Brendan Fraser
Fan Club



Exactly, the work that went into Rogue One LOOKING great pays off. It saves a pretty chopped up film from being fully horrible. There was literally nothing iconic in Solo - nothing that stood out. It was so loving dull.

MINUS Enfys Nest - that was very cool. Reminded me of the Fallen from Destiny.

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013
🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

Larryb posted:

The actors playing young Han and Lando were decent enough in my opinion at least.

The hit piece on Alden was criminal imo. Dude did not deserve to be thrown under the bus.

Larryb
Oct 5, 2010

CelticPredator posted:

The hit piece on Alden was criminal imo. Dude did not deserve to be thrown under the bus.

Wait, what’s this now?

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010


If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER


Ultra Carp

Larryb posted:

Wait, what’s this now?

Before Solo came out, there were various articles that came out basically saying "Alden can't act, he needed lessons, Miller and Lord were trying to encourage him to improv on set like Ford did and he just couldn't do it," IIRC.

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Larryb
Oct 5, 2010

Acebuckeye13 posted:

Before Solo came out, there were various articles that came out basically saying "Alden can't act, he needed lessons, Miller and Lord were trying to encourage him to improv on set like Ford did and he just couldn't do it," IIRC.

Huh, he seemed fine to me. On that note, had/has he been in anything else notable before or after Solo?

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