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In light of recent events with the stampeding elephants, I will be working from home today. |
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Feb 25, 2021 10:50
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Also, I may need to work from home tomorrow on account of the napkin panic situation. |
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Feb 25, 2021 10:51
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There is also an excuse note for working remotely due to the "Mega Clown Festival" taking place downtown, please refer to the prior conversations for more information. |
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Feb 25, 2021 10:53
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I wish you well and godspeed |
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Feb 25, 2021 11:57
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Do to a family emergency, I will be in the Ice Fortress of the Harpy Queen Raagvala for the remainder of the week. I am still reachable on my work mobile in case of emergencies, and I will be checking my email periodically. |
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Feb 25, 2021 14:41
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aldantefax posted:There is also an excuse note for working remotely due to the "Mega Clown Festival" taking place downtown, please refer to the prior conversations for more information. heh, I didn't know corporate was back in the office 
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Feb 25, 2021 15:28
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In light of the skateboarding tricks I pulled off this morning I will be taking a sick day |
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Feb 25, 2021 17:03
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unfortunately my family emergency will be taking place within a faraday cage so i will be completely unreachable for the next week.
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Feb 25, 2021 17:23
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"How do you define a home?" I ask into the Zoom call. No one can hear me over the beach party in the background and the glare of the sun off of my novelty aviators blinds the camera
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Feb 25, 2021 17:52
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nut posted:"How do you define a home?" I ask into the Zoom call. No one can hear me over the beach party in the background and the glare of the sun off of my novelty aviators blinds the camera
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Feb 25, 2021 18:44
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Team, I will be drinking from home today. |
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Feb 25, 2021 20:04
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Just a short memo team; I will be working from the ether today, having yesterday ascended to the level of 'bope' (being of pure energy) and no longer being able to use my standing desk. I will however endeavour to be back in on Friday for the inter-team game of ping pong. (we've got it in the bag this time!) |
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Feb 25, 2021 20:20
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as you know every october 31st i must make sure my familiy does not rise from the dead and im sure you have all seen coco and are confused why i am stopping them but as i told you last year i related to actual monsters and not the cool kind like dracula and the wolf man. I will still be available in slack and on skype but I can not use a web cam. No that is not the sound of me giving neighbourhood children huge handfuls of candy. those are the screams of the damned not the screams of children happy to be given candy. Also Im going to need to do this on easter as well this year because my family found a loop hole and can now rise from the dead on the day jesus did it. |
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Feb 25, 2021 20:45
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Thanks to everybody reaching out. For anybody who is unaware of the circulating page on Facebook, the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. As a result, I will also be working from home while sorting out that business. Thanks for your patience. |
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Feb 25, 2021 21:07
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Dear Team, It's not you it's me, and I think we need some space in our relationship, to grow and become better people. Therefore I shall be working from home today. |
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Feb 25, 2021 21:17
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As the poster in the breakroom clearly states, you don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps. I am not feeling sufficiently crazy today, so I will be working off premises. |
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Feb 25, 2021 21:21
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I will be working from home for the next couple of days because the moon is almost full, and I think we can all agree it's better to err on the side of caution, given that I cut it a bit too close last month. |
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Feb 25, 2021 21:39
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Due to having died in 1616, more than four hundred years ago, I will not be in the office or replying to emails until further notice. |
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Feb 25, 2021 22:58
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until the rest of you start treating me with the dignity and respect I deserve I shall be working from home. i would treat you the same if you were to stumble and lose your pants and fall into the rear end end of a goat while on a company retreat to a petting zoo and I am personally offended that none of you can see past this unfortunate accident that befell me. and no I do not appreciate the new nickname or the goat noises that some of you are making on this zoom call.
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Feb 25, 2021 23:12
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Luvcow posted:until the rest of you start treating me with the dignity and respect I deserve I shall be working from home. i would treat you the same if you were to stumble and lose your pants and fall into the rear end end of a goat while on a company retreat to a petting zoo and I am personally offended that none of you can see past this unfortunate accident that befell me. and no I do not appreciate the new nickname or the goat noises that some of you are making on this zoom call. |
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Feb 25, 2021 23:49
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Please disregard my last notice. Rumors of my death do not appear to have been greatly exaggerated at all. However, given that it is the end of the work day today, I will still be working from home for the rest of today anyway. As an aside, I will be promptly attending my own funeral tomorrow, as well as engaging in an epic duel, "with doves, handguns, glasses, and all that other John Woo poo poo", so I will also be working from home at that time as well. Postscript: Yes, this is related to the napkin panic situation. |
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Feb 25, 2021 23:52
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Also ask not what your country does on the weekends. Its none of your loving business |
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Feb 25, 2021 23:59
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Team, I will be working from home today. Team! I will be working from home today. Team.....I will be working from....home...today. Team? I will be working (!) from home? Today. TEAM I WILL BE WORKING FROM HOME TODAY!!! |
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Feb 26, 2021 06:17
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Unfortunately due to severe stress I will be moving my office into my anus. This will require an intense 14 hour operation to reconstruct my orifice and my spine to accommodate these new changes. I hope you will all congratulate me on my promotion to management |
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Feb 26, 2021 07:27
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I'm hoping that the ghost who sucks my dick at work is unable to do so if I work from home. I will update you all this evening at 5. |
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Feb 26, 2021 09:40
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rear end-penny posted:I'm hoping that the ghost who sucks my dick at work is unable to do so if I work from home. I will update you all this evening at 5. 
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Feb 26, 2021 09:57
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all work and no office makes jack a fat boy. all work and no office makes jack a fat boy. all work and no office makes jack a fat boy. all work and no office makes jack a fat boy. all work and no office makes jack a fat boy. all work and no office makes jack a fat boy. all work and no office makes jack a fat boy. |
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Feb 26, 2021 14:03
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anyways, on a completely unrelated note does anyone know how to safely extricate a penis from a vcr? in this hypothetical situation you would not want to damage the vcr or the tape inside it. or the penis.
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Feb 26, 2021 15:45
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Dear team, as ordained by our management, you will all be working from home tody and I will be sitting in the office Working until the small hours of the morning, wasting away in the prime of my middle age, destroying body, soul and mind in order to reach unobtainable quotas-decreed by the holy powers on high. I shall suffer so that you may live and you shall live forever knowing the awful truth of how we managed to reach our bonus this quarter. But despair not! For where there is suffering there is also love; love for you all, my team. Edit. Actually I have a pretty bad headache and will be working from home today |
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Feb 26, 2021 15:55
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coworkers caught me poopsocking on zoom |
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Feb 27, 2021 09:20
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Hi Team!! I am in an air bubble within a sunken ship (!) and will be working "on the road" for today. The bubble could pop at any time I think? Not really an expert on this! If it does I will try to send along my work as I drown. All the best!! Help me? https://giant.gfycat.com/sillyremorsefuldipper.webm |
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Feb 27, 2021 09:42
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Horrible Butts posted:Hi Team!! Sending thoughts and prayers. |
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Feb 27, 2021 18:30
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Hi team, I know things are getting pretty intense and morale is slipping what with the recent salary cuts, layoffs, and crunch time as we approach our V2 release. I cannot stress enough how intense competition is in the blockchain-based personal yacht management space. If we fail to meet our v2 release date then not only could our competition catch up to us, but our hundreds of clients could be left out in the cold with no way to reliably track how many yachts they own. YOUR WORK MATTERS. I want you all to keep this in mind as we approach week 5 of our Node.js rewrite. We're all here for a reason, and it's because we're passionate about blockchain-based personal yacht management. We live and breathe blockchain-based personal yacht management. I know I do, and I hope you all do too. Frankly, if blockchain-based personal yacht management isn't keeping you up every night with excitement, we don't need you here. It's as simple as that. To help cheer you all up and reinvigorate your passion, I wanted to share a wonderful inspiring e-mail I received this morning from Frank. As you might know, Frank put in an astonishing unbroken run of 120-hour workweeks during our last month-long release crunch in December, narrowly beating Stephanie by 45 minutes to win a company-sponsored weeklong trip to Disneyworld! I admire Frank's dedication to the cause and his passion for working here, which really shines through in the e-mail. He really is taking the "working from home" concept to a whole new level. I want you all to read it, so I have pasted it unmodified below: quote:Hi Brian, This is exactly the kind of outside-the-box thinking that is going to transform our industry. I want you to take note of all the wonderful things Frank is doing: he is making sure his family understands the importance of his work, finding creative solutions to balance work and fun, and is even going the extra mile to free up the rest of his week for additional assignments. If half of you were as dedicated as Frank, we would own this space. Let's all take it up a notch as we wrap things up on V2. On a side note, I'll be working from home today. I have to let my cat's masseuse in, and I'll be unavailable during our 3-hour session. Brian |
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Mar 1, 2021 01:50
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fartzilla posted:Hi team, 
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Mar 1, 2021 03:36
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