Low-Stakes Cowboy Antics

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Low-Stakes Cowboy Antics

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

- Mouse Rustlin'
- Tumbleweed Rasslin'
- Wheat stalk chawin'
- Hoedown at the OK Corral
- Boot Disrespectin'

When you and your other cowpokes stands by a fountain and presses your thumb against the spigot such that the drinker is inconveniently wettened, that's a Bubbler Drublin'.

# ? Feb 26, 2021 15:26

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 06:25

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

this town ain't big enough for more than the two of us

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Feb 26, 2021 15:42

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

well howdy partner, this is my good friend ponymeat

*camera pans to a stack of cans of dog food*

she's kinda shy but... what's that ponymeat?

*silence as the camera pans back to the stack of cans*

well she says it's nice to meet you

# ? Feb 26, 2021 15:51

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

moseying around

# ? Feb 26, 2021 18:43

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Patronizing the heck out of the general store penny candy jar, then headin' down to the saloon and flautin' a handful of horehound drops to make Ol' Piano Joe jealous.

# ? Feb 26, 2021 23:37

google THIS

Showdown at 12:15 or so

# ? Feb 27, 2021 00:09

Heather Papps: hello friend

*stiffling giggles*
"oh man the boss is going to be so embarrassed when he shows up for the duel to find his revolver loaded with BEANS"
*cowboy giggles increase in volume*

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 27, 2021 00:29

Heather Papps: hello friend

well, johnson, what do you think of my brand design. gonna register it with the state today!
*johnson takes a sheet of paper*

this time next week all 500 head'll be bearin' this brand!

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 27, 2021 00:32

Sham bam bamina!: ƨtupid cat

3/4 gallon hat

# ? Feb 27, 2021 02:01

Escape From Noise

Prospector prospectin'

# ? Feb 27, 2021 08:19

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Just the rootin' and tootin' today thanks

# ? Feb 27, 2021 08:45

Turdo

*roots, toots, and shoots, but shoots blanks*

# ? Feb 27, 2021 08:53

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Aces and sevens

# ? Feb 27, 2021 14:32

nut

just gonna get along today thanks

# ? Feb 27, 2021 14:49

nut

yet no one asks Whydy

# ? Feb 27, 2021 14:49

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Let me get this straight; you need an old grizzled lawman to go on a journey into dangerous territory to kill/find/rescue your treacherous farmhand/sweetheart/other from Native Americans/Bandits/cannibal troglodytes?
Well....good luck!

# ? Feb 27, 2021 15:23

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

paula cole traveling back in time in order to prevent johnny cash from writing Mommas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.

that feels pretty high stakes but no ohter thoughts in my head rn.

Buttchocks posted:

Patronizing the heck out of the general store penny candy jar, then headin' down to the saloon and flautin' a handful of horehound drops to make Ol' Piano Joe jealous.

lmao

crimes

# ? Feb 27, 2021 15:29

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Oh these revolvers? They're loaded with blanks. I'm an actor in the street theatre troupe come to town. I guess they could cause some burns if they go off but otherwise they're perfectly safe.

# ? Feb 27, 2021 15:33

Horrible Butts

Well [cowboy chuckle] I'll be ridin' off into some set or another I suppose. No need to specificate.

https://giant.gfycat.com/sillyremorsefuldipper.webm
_{Thank you Prof. Crocodile for the fun festive winter sig!

Arcane gob born of Khanstant's goblin gumball machine!}

# ? Feb 27, 2021 16:02

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

me and the other cowpokes gathered in conference room yeehaw, trying to groupthink a gender neutral version of "*tips hat* ma'am."

crimes

# ? Feb 27, 2021 18:49

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

*spittin' a wad uh'chaw neatly into a spittoon to the applause of my friends, I finally got it right*

# ? Feb 27, 2021 19:03

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Harvestin' some tobacco from the community garden co-op.

# ? Feb 27, 2021 20:55

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

workshopping some country-fried wisdom down at the Open Holler.

crimes

# ? Feb 27, 2021 21:52

google THIS

Putting a moderate laxative in the town well

# ? Feb 27, 2021 22:00

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

a stampede but with miniature cows so the most injured you get is lightly bruised

crimes

# ? Feb 27, 2021 22:06

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Gettin' up t'no good by rustlin some calves into a pen and watchin' 'em jump off the square bales while my pardner goes t'town t'get a meat n' three.

# ? Feb 27, 2021 22:29

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

doing up a cowboy bbq but on a lil hibachi grill using tiny strips of samgyupsal you turn with a big ole pair of tongs

crimes

# ? Feb 27, 2021 22:40

Jaguars!

Elastrating Joe's F-350

# ? Feb 28, 2021 01:29

Heather Papps: hello friend

putting mustaches on wanted dead or alive posters

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 28, 2021 02:51

Nexein: "Donuts of
Champions"

Spur jingle-janglin'

https://giant.gfycat.com/FragrantGorgeousLeech.mp4
Spring masterpiece courtesy of Prof. Crocodile, thanks!

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:12

Heather Papps: hello friend

snake-in-the-boot (non venomous) - an offshoot of boot disrespectin'

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:19

Nexein: "Donuts of
Champions"

Yee-hawin' a little louder than your pardner, and he a little louder than the pardner before

https://giant.gfycat.com/FragrantGorgeousLeech.mp4
Spring masterpiece courtesy of Prof. Crocodile, thanks!

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:24

Gramps

waxing my improbably large moustache before ambling up to the bar and ordering a sarsparilla and then shooting my pistol into the ceiling when someone cheats at cards

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:35

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Rounding up a posse to hang some streamers for the cotillion.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:38

Escape From Noise

google THIS posted:

Putting a moderate laxative in the town well

Been living on mostly beef so I kindly thankee

# ? Feb 28, 2021 08:10

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Been living on mostly beef so I kindly thankee

care 2 join me 4 a game of watch-me traveler? :banjo:

# ? Feb 28, 2021 08:25

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

get ruint

# ? Feb 28, 2021 08:25

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Circuit court judge rides into town for the hoop-spinnin' contest.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 19:15

Gramps

nervously pinning my shiny new sheriff's badge to my shirt knowing the last 4 sheriffs were shot by cattle rustlers. think I'll head down to madam sherri's place and see if Darla is workin. I could use some whisky but that drat bartender was watering down drinks the last few weeks and everyone complained about it but they're still giving him their money. We'll see how he changes his tune once I introduce him to my old pals Smith and Wesson

# ? Feb 28, 2021 19:29

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 06:25

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Gramps posted:

nervously pinning my shiny new sheriff's badge to my shirt knowing the last 4 sheriffs were shot by cattle rustlers. think I'll head down to madam sherri's place and see if Darla is workin. I could use some whisky but that drat bartender was watering down drinks the last few weeks and everyone complained about it but they're still giving him their money. We'll see how he changes his tune once I introduce him to my old pals Smith and Wesson

Having trouble deciding if this is high-stakes, low-stakes, or high-stakes over something erstwhile low-stakes. It's messing with me.

Maybe try threatening the bartender with a moderate fine instead of brandishing a firearm?

e: Pardner.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Feb 28, 2021

# ? Feb 28, 2021 20:33

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