I'm, like, really good at basketball

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > I'm, like, really good at basketball

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Like, I don't want to, you know, toot my own basketball horn or anything but I'm like the James Burman of Basketball. I can dribble, shoot, the works. There will be no evidence provided. Thank you.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 02:51

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 22:30

its all nice on rice: Nov 12, 2006; Sweet, Salty Goodness.; Buglord

We're going to need a video of said skills to see if they pay the bills.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 02:52

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

you'll be playin casketball when im through with you

# ? Feb 28, 2021 02:55

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Literally A Person posted:

Like, I don't want to, you know, toot my own basketball horn or anything but I'm like the James Burman of Basketball. I can dribble, shoot, the works. There will be no evidence provided. Thank you.

Ball... horn... dribble... shoot... heheheheheh.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:13

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Aardvark! posted:

you'll be playin casketball when im through with you

What�s casket-ball? it seems like you have simply misspelled basketball but to imply the op will be in a casket. First of all this is very rude and secondly I don�t think you have even prepared any rules for the game.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:14

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

can you do a "dunk"?

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:14

Fartington Butts: Jan 21, 2007

Can you do this

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:15

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

I'm not, but I still loved playing it anyway. My younger brother and stepbrother and I would play all the drat time, and my brother was so much better he used to mercilessly kick our rear end. Like, out of 100 games I would win 3, my stepbrother would win 1, and my brother would win the rest. It was pathetic and awesome at the same time.

One time at the county fair the booth where you could win framed posters by sinking baskets banned my brother because the fucker could just sink baskets mechanically, even with the scammy basket places like that used. If he was more organized and cared about team sports he probably could have got a scholarship or been a pro or something.

Anyway, I'm old and fat now.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:16

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

When I went through rehab a year ago a dude staying in the place with me climbed up the fire escape and shot a basketball from the third story landing into the backyard rim they had set up during a game of horse.

e: didn't even call the bank.

He won.

Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 04:17 on Feb 28, 2021

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:20

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:21

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

gary oldmans diary posted:

lumber. we need lumber

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:22

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Aardvark! posted:

you'll be playin casketball when im through with you

Needlessly negative. Total butt behaviour. Like a horse's uranus.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 03:38

you broke my grill: Jul 11, 2019

That's how I beat Shaq

# ? Feb 28, 2021 04:46

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

I saw the OP playing basketball once, he fumbled the ball. Completely worthless player.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 04:59

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

I don't believe you OP

# ? Feb 28, 2021 05:01

a mysterious cloak: Apr 5, 2003; Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!

I read your other thread

You were trying to dunk your kid, weren't you

# ? Feb 28, 2021 05:10

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

a mysterious cloak posted:

I read your other thread

You were trying to dunk your kid, weren't you

_{please don't tell my wife}

# ? Feb 28, 2021 05:11

AHH F/UGH: May 25, 2002

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mldDHI9l1v8

# ? Feb 28, 2021 05:14

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I poo poo poop on the court

# ? Feb 28, 2021 05:17

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I poo poo poop on the court

# ? Feb 28, 2021 05:19

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I poo poo poop on the court

A good defense is a good offense.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 05:20

Spinz: Jan 7, 2020; I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread

I appreciate you posting like I do thank you

# ? Feb 28, 2021 07:46

Schweinhund: Oct 23, 2004

I am also extremely good at "basketball"

# ? Feb 28, 2021 07:46

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

I'm good at basket and ball but if I try to put the two together it's a huge disaster

# ? Feb 28, 2021 10:21

Mumbling Nuggets: Jan 14, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

You should try kicking a homerun from Center Ice.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 10:36

Internetjack: Sep 15, 2007; oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers; Top Cop

I am horrible at basketball.
I was one of the taller kids in elementary school. I walked through the gym on eday during the team's practice and the coach was all "hey why don't you shoot some hoops with us?!"
Told him I did not know how to play. He pressured me to at least try. After about 2 minutes of watching me not being able dribble or throw the ball anywhere near the basket, he was all "nevermind you can go".

# ? Feb 28, 2021 10:37

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

I'm sure you do good work with balls, OP.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 11:39

Dumb Sex-Parrot: Dec 25, 2020

Can you do that flying dunk move where they let you use a tiny trampoline?

# ? Feb 28, 2021 12:34

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Internetjack posted:

throw the ball anywhere near the basket

Lol this is the most convincing evidence that someone is bad at basketball ive ever seen i think.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 13:18

Internetjack: Sep 15, 2007; oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers; Top Cop

Poohs Packin posted:

Lol this is the most convincing evidence that someone is bad at basketball ive ever seen i think.

I was in the paint and could not even hit glass.

I enjoy watching college hoops these days. Still can't play myself.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 13:24

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Internetjack posted:

I was in the paint and could not even hit glass.

I enjoy watching college hoops these days. Still can't play myself.

It was more your use of the word "throw". It just doesnt sound like a basketball word.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 13:29

Szyznyk: Mar 4, 2008

Defense and rebounds, the purview of short dudes who can�t hit 3s.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 13:31

Internetjack: Sep 15, 2007; oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers; Top Cop

I was fully doing granny shots and what-not. "Throw" is a appropriate, because I was definitely not "shooting".

# ? Feb 28, 2021 13:33

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Szyznyk posted:

Defense and rebounds, the purview of short dudes who can’t hit 3s.

I was definitley a down in the paint scrappy rebounder until all that jumping for rebounds next to much taller guys shattered my ankles.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 13:41

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

# ? Feb 28, 2021 19:15

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

why the gently caress dont they do nba games outside

# ? Feb 28, 2021 19:54

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I'm in the court screaming in agony because OP is cramming the ball straight into my anushole. The crowd goes wild

# ? Feb 28, 2021 19:55

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Literally A Person posted:

Like, I don't want to, you know, toot my own basketball horn or anything but I'm like the James Burman of Basketball. I can dribble, shoot, the works. There will be no evidence provided. Thank you.

I hope it makes up for being terrible at posting.

# ? Feb 28, 2021 19:59