SA's Greatest Sagas: "You know who can help with this? The pig balls website."

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: "You know who can help with this? The pig balls website."

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ChubbyChecker: Mar 25, 2018

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Candidates for Something Awful Main Character in past 48 hours:

1. triple-rereg goon who defends pedos and child groomers complains that people call him a defender of pedos and child groomers, gets 10k probes on all 3 accounts in response

2. permabanned mod yelling for mods to be held accountable, held accountable by getting re-permabanned

3. goon who calls a mod a nazi because he has an anime schoolgirl avatar

4. mod who defends pedophilia as "au naturale!" gets permabanned as nature intended

5. pedo apologist mod apologist goon

6. goon posting tweet who claims harassments, gets probed, defends themselves on a rereg, turns out it was a completely different person harassing them

7. accused harasser goon who just happens to harass in a different way, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory through internet-poisoned inability to stop posting

8. mod who probated harassment victim forced to apologise several times

9. white knight of harassment victim passive-aggressive posting in qcs that at one point turns against the victim

looks like that this site is... something awful

# ? Mar 16, 2021 10:55

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:03

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

Honky Dong Country posted:

Gonna kill the mods in single combat because pretty sure at this point we're operating on highlander rules.

idk, if you quicken the life experience of a mod all at once you'll probably turn that sword on yourself

# ? Mar 16, 2021 11:36

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

The Saddest Rhino posted:

6. goon posting tweet who claims harassments, gets probed, defends themselves on a rereg, turns out it was a completely different person harassing them

I like to believe she's stuck in a time warp. The other day, she walked home from the local Sam Goody with a copy of The Strokes - Is this it? hot off the press, cracked open an ice cold Surge and after logging onto the forums on her green iMac, immediately became suspicious of 2016 lover's May 28, 2001 reg date only being 2-months old.

PS, it's been years since you could buy a reg date

# ? Mar 16, 2021 12:16

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Reminded of the Jordan Peterson thread that some people just seem to be full on anhedonic, you never see them actually enjoying anything or expressing happiness. Hard to tell whether it's a brain problem or some toxic masculinity thing where expressing any sort of emotion besides anger and disapproval is forbidden and feminine and gay.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 12:36

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

I always kind of assume that kind of person has to be deeply unhappy and angry about the direction their own life is taking and that's how they express it because they have no idea what else to do.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 12:40

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Guy Mann's gimmick is always having the upper hand on those wretched goons, it doesn't matter what contradictory stances he has to take in order to get there. It's not really worth anybody's time or pity to understand on some deep level.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 12:43

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

Heath posted:

Big things that I remember:

1) He reg'd a new name (Sleeveless) after getting either banned or just being a such a dumbass that everyone had ignored him, someone called him Guy Mann, and he retaliated by accusing them of 'deadnaming' him, which if you don't know is the term used to describe someone referring to a transgender person by their birth name in a derogatory fashion. Which is in insanely bad taste when you're talking about someone who was so annoying that they not only had to go incognito, they remained so annoying that people figured them out basically immediately

2) I forget the specific context of it but he snidely implied that a woman made a false rape accusation against a man for clout, someone else probably has the exact quote

3) He's just weirdly contrarian and cynical to a comical degree and will find a way to take the worst possible interpretation of anything that he encounters. So absolutely joyless that he got run out of several forums, including and especially the video game forum, but he couldn't resist farting out some nonsense and got repeatedly probed for posting in Games even though he was told not to

don't forget suggesting that anyone under 18 be quarantined on their own internet, so they can't accidentally make him horny

# ? Mar 16, 2021 12:47

PotU: Jul 5, 2009; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

love the admin making a pedophile the mod of the forum titled minority rapport and then apologizing to said pedophile in the ban message

# ? Mar 16, 2021 12:48

Lib and let die: Aug 26, 2004

PotU posted:

love the admin making a pedophile the mod of the forum titled minority rapport and then apologizing to said pedophile in the ban message

On the same day a bunch of cspam posters ate ban+30s for saying mods are pedos lmao

# ? Mar 16, 2021 12:57

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Brute Squad posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=146847

Reregging on the forum I speculate accused me of sexual abuse due to jealousy of the success of the leftist parachute forum I admin. You know, as you do.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 13:02

Edgar Allen Ho: Apr 3, 2017; by sebmojo

If only Guy Mann could have been hellbanned

# ? Mar 16, 2021 13:15

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Candidates for Something Awful Main Character in past 48 hours:

1. triple-rereg goon who defends pedos and child groomers complains that people call him a defender of pedos and child groomers, gets 10k probes on all 3 accounts in response

2. permabanned mod yelling for mods to be held accountable, held accountable by getting re-permabanned

3. goon who calls a mod a nazi because he has an anime schoolgirl avatar

4. mod who defends pedophilia as "au naturale!" gets permabanned as nature intended

5. pedo apologist mod apologist goon

6. goon posting tweet who claims harassments, gets probed, defends themselves on a rereg, turns out it was a completely different person harassing them

7. accused harasser goon who just happens to harass in a different way, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory through internet-poisoned inability to stop posting

8. mod who probated harassment victim forced to apologise several times

9. white knight of harassment victim passive-aggressive posting in qcs that at one point turns against the victim

The Aristocrats!

# ? Mar 16, 2021 13:34

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Candidates for Something Awful Main Character in past 48 hours:

1. triple-rereg goon who defends pedos and child groomers complains that people call him a defender of pedos and child groomers, gets 10k probes on all 3 accounts in response

2. permabanned mod yelling for mods to be held accountable, held accountable by getting re-permabanned

3. goon who calls a mod a nazi because he has an anime schoolgirl avatar

4. mod who defends pedophilia as "au naturale!" gets permabanned as nature intended

5. pedo apologist mod apologist goon

6. goon posting tweet who claims harassments, gets probed, defends themselves on a rereg, turns out it was a completely different person harassing them

7. accused harasser goon who just happens to harass in a different way, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory through internet-poisoned inability to stop posting

8. mod who probated harassment victim forced to apologise several times

9. white knight of harassment victim passive-aggressive posting in qcs that at one point turns against the victim

Number 3 is going to be vindicated by history.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 16, 2021 15:20

xtal: Jan 9, 2011; by Fluffdaddy

Hedrigall posted:

Trying to attach a “born this way” narrative to pedophilia creeps me the gently caress out

There’s been an issue in the last few years (or more? idk) of pedophiles trying to rebrand themselves as MAPs (minor attracted persons) and NOMAPs (non-offending minor attracted persons) complete with their own pride flag and trying to get in on the conversation with LGBTQ groups

Nothing would regress LGBTQ rights more than people seeing this and thinking we accept pedophilia as a valid sexual identity, that we proudly count them among our ranks, that they’re our brothers and sisters

It’s so loving hosed up

There have been several campaigns to include pedophiles in LGBT, both from pedos and from 4chan who do it to troll. So, super disgusting to have seen that post. I'm glad I called it out at the time even though it was a mod!

# ? Mar 16, 2021 16:42

VinylonUnderground: Dec 14, 2020; by Athanatos

In the '60s, pedos were more aligned with LGBT issues because they were all marginalized and because of French intellectuals. One of the first thing the Gay Rights movement did was kick out the pedos (for example, not letting pedos march with them in the first gay march on washington in 1979). That was unequivocally a good choice. Hasn't stopped trolls like Anita Bryant and 4Chan from trying to make that connection. But that's on them.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 16:49

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 36 hours!; Ultra Carp

PotU posted:

love the admin making a pedophile the mod of the forum titled minority rapport and then apologizing to said pedophile in the ban message

he doesn't have to explain himself

# ? Mar 16, 2021 17:42

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

I have a feeling it's gonna be one'a those weeks. Goon laments that Hitler isn't portrayed with the dignity he deserves, continually doubles down.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 18:45

some plague rats: Jun 5, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

exquisite tea posted:

Guy Mann's gimmick is always having the upper hand on those wretched goons, it doesn't matter what contradictory stances he has to take in order to get there. It's not really worth anybody's time or pity to understand on some deep level.

Yeah his gimmick was "guy who has to win every interaction" which is not actually a gimmick at all, that's just a guy you meet around the place

# ? Mar 16, 2021 18:53

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Who What Now posted:

I have a feeling it's gonna be one'a those weeks. Goon laments that Hitler isn't portrayed with the dignity he deserves, continually doubles down.

At least that's from an angle of "the real persona was much more interesting" instead of actually being offended of the affront to Hitler's dignity or whatever. Still, I think it logically falls apart when faced with the rebuttal

site posted:

tbh it doesn't really bother me that a guy with a worldwide empire, who has been doing meth for 40 years, now living on planet venus protected by zombie cyborgs and robot dogs, may have changed since 1944

# ? Mar 16, 2021 19:00

Lib and let die: Aug 26, 2004

"But historical accuracy!" is almost always a chud tell in my experience

# ? Mar 16, 2021 19:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

All-Star Rankings:

Best post: the sock monkey story
Best poster: evilweasel
Best subforum: PYF
Best thread: History Book Thread (Book Barn)
Best admin: NYC_Tattoo
Best mod: Pastry of the Year 🦐

# ? Mar 16, 2021 19:22

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

The crab thread is and always will be the best thread, sorry

# ? Mar 16, 2021 19:42

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Lib and let die posted:

"But historical accuracy!" is almost always a chud tell in my experience

--Albert Montgomery Einstein, 1812

# ? Mar 16, 2021 19:50

VinylonUnderground: Dec 14, 2020; by Athanatos

Netiquette fun fact: Most in meat space have just one word for "pedophile" but netizens have over twenty, each with their own special shade of meaning.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 19:53

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Brute Squad posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=146847

lol forever that they still post here

# ? Mar 16, 2021 22:24

boo boo bear: Oct 1, 2009; I'm COMPLETELY OBSESSED with SEXY EGGS

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

idk, if you quicken the life experience of a mod all at once you'll probably turn that sword on yourself

I am immortal, I have inside me blood of... baloogan? gently caress.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 22:45

One More Fat Nerd: Apr 13, 2007; Mama’s Lil’ Louie; Nap Ghost

Pick posted:

All-Star Rankings:

Best post: the sock monkey story
Best poster: evilweasel

Somebody has forgotten about Infrateal Vs. Heebie-GBS.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 22:53

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Are there any nice stories going on atm. I am kind of burning out on all the misery.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 23:03

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

My small and lovely children are having a lovely spring break with their grandparents. It�s not an SA saga but it is nice.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 23:10

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Josef bugman posted:

Are there any nice stories going on atm. I am kind of burning out on all the misery.

We raised some mons for a goon couple navigating the nightmare healthcare system.

# ? Mar 16, 2021 23:10

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Josef bugman posted:

Are there any nice stories going on atm. I am kind of burning out on all the misery.

Sure, the "Reasons why my child is crying" thread is still updating

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3920053&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

# ? Mar 16, 2021 23:12

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Josef bugman posted:

Are there any nice stories going on atm. I am kind of burning out on all the misery.

I made myself a nice pot of chili this weekend and it's only getting better over time :shobon:

# ? Mar 16, 2021 23:13

some plague rats: Jun 5, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Josef bugman posted:

Are there any nice stories going on atm. I am kind of burning out on all the misery.

I saw some nice trees this morning

# ? Mar 16, 2021 23:52

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

# ? Mar 16, 2021 23:53

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Captain Hygiene posted:

I made myself a nice pot of chili this weekend and it's only getting better over time

Nice! How many French Onion soup packets do you put in your chili?

# ? Mar 17, 2021 00:06

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Josef bugman posted:

Are there any nice stories going on atm. I am kind of burning out on all the misery.

The weather's finally turning nice here, the daffodils are blooming and my driveway is covered in cherry blossoms.

Pretty recently GBS raised like 20k for food banks around the world, in dishonor of the dude that tased his balls to death, that was pretty awesome.

# ? Mar 17, 2021 00:08

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

These are all good. Thank you. It's just hard sometimes. Thanks again.

# ? Mar 17, 2021 00:09

LITERALLY A BIRD: Sep 27, 2008; I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

My bird laid an egg :shobon:

# ? Mar 17, 2021 00:15

LITERALLY A BIRD: Sep 27, 2008; I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

He she hates it.

# ? Mar 17, 2021 00:16

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:03

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

/\/\/\/\/\ She seems confused

Josef bugman posted:

These are all good. Thank you. It's just hard sometimes. Thanks again.

And here's a nice one... a bunch of goons just came together to let you know they care about you :shobon:

# ? Mar 17, 2021 00:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: "You know who can help with this? The pig balls website."

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