|
Triplepost because talking about Aja Kong reminded me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjALnXLwO8k
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 18:28
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:20 |
|
|
frankenfreak posted:Triplepost because talking about Aja Kong reminded me of this: never not post about Aja Kong
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 18:31
|
|
|
Sydney Bottocks posted:No kidding, about the only unrealistic part was when he got "investigated" by the "Senate" in that film that was the ed wood style scene where the senate is a shot of a guy sitting at the director's desk in the corner of a small room with a giant american flag pinned to the wall. there's also no setup at all. just like five minutes of wrestling footage with no dialogue whatsoever and then that scene.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 18:53
|
|
|
DrVenkman posted:Bull Nakano aged very well. in fairness, when you see shots of her without the makeup (or any of her early matches), it becomes obvious that she was always super hot but just pulling a sneaky trick on you by doing a scary face with her teeth join us tomorrow for more secrets of professional wrestling
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 18:58
|
|
|
Mulaney Power Move posted:that was the ed wood style scene where the senate is a shot of a guy sitting at the director's desk in the corner of a small room with a giant american flag pinned to the wall. there's also no setup at all. just like five minutes of wrestling footage with no dialogue whatsoever and then that scene. It also gave us the great riff "This movie has out-Wood'ed Ed Wood!"
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 19:04
|
|
|
if you want to take the wrestling in mst3k thing further they got a couple of tor johnson movies, including when he stars in the beast of yukka flats as the titular beast. he mostly just wanders around the desert looking for things to wrestle.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 19:08
|
|
|
Mulaney Power Move posted:if you want to take the wrestling in mst3k thing further they got a couple of tor johnson movies, including when he stars in the beast of yukka flats as the titular beast. he mostly just wanders around the desert looking for things to wrestle. And RiffTrax covered the movie Abraxas, a Terminator 2 ripoff starring Jesse Ventura.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 19:28
|
|
|
Gavok posted:My favorite part of that MST3K movie is that other than the title, there is zero implication in the first half of the movie that there's a wrestler in it. It's just a bunch of weird poo poo with vampire women. So after the episode has hit the halfway point, El Santo finally just shows up at this guy's house in full costume with zero fanfare. And Crow's absolutely cackles over it. "here they affirm that according to the apocalypse we're living in a time when things are perfect for the resurrection of monsters here on earth. since men are bent on wrecking destruction upon the world today, they'll heed their selfish desires and use the tremendous power that nature has given us!" "uh do you need any wrestling done?"
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 19:30
|
|
|
"Welp, I better get going, got a golf date with Randy the Macho Man later..."
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 19:41
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_FvCj4rzUs
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2021 21:07
|
|
|
Cubone posted:"uh do you need any wrestling done?" just saw this an hour ago and laughed my rear end off.
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 01:22
|
|
|
Gavok posted:And RiffTrax covered the movie Abraxas, a Terminator 2 ripoff starring Jesse Ventura. have you ever been vaulted?
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 02:12
|
|
|
almost forgot this onequote:[Abraxas is sitting in bed, bare-chested, when Tommy walks in]
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 02:16
|
|
|
Sydney Bottocks posted:"Welp, I better get going, got a golf date with Randy the Macho Man later..." Am I underdressed? I feel kind of silly.
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 02:16
|
|
|
The cast reaction to El Santo striding in out of nowhere is second only to their reaction to the giant Hitler building in Invasion of the Neptune Men.
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 02:29
|
|
|
Mr Luxury Yacht posted:The cast reaction to El Santo striding in out of nowhere is second only to their reaction to the giant Hitler building in Invasion of the Neptune Men. That really is one of the greatest WTF?!? moments in a MST3K, lol
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 03:02
|
|
|
I just watched the Montreal Screwjob episode of Dark Side of the Ring, and holy poo poo. There's just...so much poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 03:08
|
|
|
This talk of Randy Orton's Cult Troubles reminded me of the time Hollywood Hogan feuded with dead racist grandpa Jim "The Ultimate Warrior" Warrior*, and how they gave The Warrior magic powers, including a trapdoor in the ring that ended up legit crippling a few wrestlers who had to take bumps on the thing, and of course Magic Mirror Powers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78XbX5tVFeY The Warrior is messing with Hogan's mind by appearing in a mirror, except OOOH Eric Bischoff can't see him! The effect is only slightly ruined by the commentators being able to see The Warrior, so it feels less like The Warrior having magic powers and more like Eric Bischoff just being a clueless dipshit. * he legally changed his name to "Warrior". Shaman Tank Spec fucked around with this message at 09:11 on Mar 19, 2021 |
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 09:08
|
|
|
DESTRUCITY
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 14:38
|
|
|
It was British Bulldog who got hurt by the trap door if I remember, and it led almost directly to his death.
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 14:48
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 16:34
|
|
|
Shaman Tank Spec posted:This talk of Randy Orton's Cult Troubles reminded me of the time Hollywood Hogan feuded with dead racist grandpa Jim "The Ultimate Warrior" Warrior*, and how they gave The Warrior magic powers, including a trapdoor in the ring that ended up legit crippling a few wrestlers who had to take bumps on the thing, and of course Magic Mirror Powers. Warrior having magic powers to appear in mirrors yet be invisible only to Bischoff will never not be unfunny to me.
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 18:27
|
|
|
Shaman Tank Spec posted:This talk of Randy Orton's Cult Troubles reminded me of the time Hollywood Hogan feuded with dead racist grandpa Jim "The Ultimate Warrior" Warrior*, and how they gave The Warrior magic powers, including a trapdoor in the ring that ended up legit crippling a few wrestlers who had to take bumps on the thing, and of course Magic Mirror Powers.  Great writing guys!
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 18:44
|
|
|
Mods pls change my name to COMPAPRI HEN OMPREHENSIBLE
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 19:44
|
|
|
Since talking about stupid wrestling poo poo is so fun (ie. WCW Ultimate Warrior) I figure I'd spend several posts discussing the Wrestlecrap Gooker Awards. Wrestlecrap is a site that's been around since the 90's that's all about discussing the worst storylines, gimmicks and shows in wrestling history. Named after the legendary Gobbledy Gooker from Survivor Series 1990, each year there's usually a poll to figure out the worst of the worst, starting in 2000. 2000: David Arquette as WCW Champion During the latter days of WCW, when they couldn't make a right decision to save their life, they were at least smart enough to make Diamond Dallas Page their champion. To hype up the new comedy movie Ready 2 Rumble, they had the star David Arquette show up and get involved storywise. On an episode of Thunder, they did a match of DDP and Arquette vs. Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff. Whoever got the pin would become champion. It was a good enough setup for "Haha, wouldn't it be funny if Arquette won the title?" without actually having to go through with it, but head booker Vince Russo thought that that would actually be a great idea! After all, a celebrity becoming champion could get media coverage of WCW. Despite everyone -- including Arquette himself -- insisting that this was a bad idea, the match ended with Arquette pinning Bischoff and becoming WCW Champion. DDP acted super excited about this, even though it meant he lost the title. This did nothing to help WCW in the ratings and eventually they had Arquette turn heel on DDP for REASONS so Jarrett could be champion again. Arquette at least donated a lot of his money to the families of recently dead wrestlers (ie. Owen Hart and Brian Pillman's families) and redeemed himself years later by becoming a rocking indie wrestler. He still wasn't the worst WCW Champion ever as Russo booked himself to win it months later. 2001: The InVasion The Monday Night War was over. WWF bought WCW and, as the cherry on top, bought the dying ECW. They were getting ready for WWF vs. WCW, the biggest storyline EVER. And they dropped the ball so hard. They didn't get the big names from WCW outside of DDP and Booker T. Guys like Sting and Goldberg sat on their separate contracts and WWF chose to rely on WCW's army of midcarders. Not that it would have mattered, as everyone in WCW was made to look like an ineffectual loser because anything else would cause Vince to cry himself to sleep. In his mind, the Monday Night War never ended and people had to be constantly reminded that WCW sucked. In fact, they had to throw a bunch of WWF guys onto the WCW side to make them a threat. They also brought in ECW to add to WCW, which was initially awesome... until they revealed that Stephanie McMahon owned them. See, Shane McMahon owned WCW, meaning this whole endless storyline boiled down to the McMahons at war with themselves. Sadly the matches involved weren't bad, but the booking was a nightmare. By the time it was over, the next night of Raw was a complete and random reset where Steve Austin was a face again for no reason and Vince was heel. Kurt Angle even turned face during the big blowoff and turned heel again on Raw anyway. As hot as wrestling once was, this caused so many to leave and never come back. 2002: Katie Vick Kane was in the prime of his career in terms of in-ring ability and charisma. He was absolutely getting over as a top face to the point that they gave him a new mask without a mouth covering so he could cut his energetic and pretty hilarious promos. For a moment, the sky was the limit for the Big Red Machine. Then he got involved in a title feud with Triple H during the worst stretch of Triple H's career where he seemed to bury all of his challengers. One Raw ended with Triple H telling Kane that he did research on his past and found out that Kane once raped and killed a woman named Katie Vick, though the order of which happened first is up in the air. A week later, Triple H showed his "evidence," which was an embarrassing clip of Triple H in a Kane mask and blurred crotch, banging a dummy dressed as a cheerleader in a casket. Supposedly, Vince was laughing about this for days like it was the funniest thing ever. The audience didn't think so and Triple H spent the next week being Vince's voice in how bitter he was that people hated the segment. Anyway, it killed Kane's momentum and he lost the feud anyway. Good going, guys! 2003: The Death of Al Wilson In what the Wrestlecrap guy considers silly and harmless despite being absolutely stupid, there was a feud going on between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie where Dawn decided to get to Torrie through her father. More specifically, Dawn seduced Torrie's father Al and started dating him. This led to a segment where they got married in the ring and for some reason both in their underwear for it. Al died on the honeymoon, going out Futurama style. Dawn's endless libido and endurance was too much for him and he keeled over. Then Torrie and Dawn brawled at his funeral. I think there was something in there about Dawn actually being hot for Torrie, but settling with her dad or whatever. Anyway, the award really should have gone to the racist-as-hell Triple H vs. Booker T feud from that year's WrestleMania. Ah well. 2004: The Divas Search The Divas Search has always been pretty awful, but this one was special. Namely three things stick out. 1) This had one of the rare appearance of the Rock during the 8 years when he wasn't wrestling and THIS is what they used him for. 2) One of the hopefuls claimed her rear end was hungry and did a split onto a pie. 3) A "Diss the Diva" challenge where instead of insulting each other like wrestlers would, the women let loose with some crazy obscenities that were mostly bleeped out with the censors accidentally leaving in some of the harsher stuff in-between bleeps. It was pretty amazing. 2005: Jim Ross' Colonoscopy Not only did Vince McMahon want Jim Ross out of the company, but he decided to make a story out of it. I admittedly don't remember the specifics, but the most memorable part was Vince making fun of the fact that JR had recently had a colonoscopy. Vince "showed the footage," which was this never-ending sketch of Vince as Dr. Hiney, pulling various objects out of what was supposed to be JR's rear end. This culminated in him pulling out a replica of JR's head. JR still got fired. Up next: short people and bad commentators!
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2021 23:58
|
|
|
If 2000 and later is the criteria, technically Mae Young giving birth to a rubber hand qualifies.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 00:05
|
|
|
The demonic entity said to be inhabiting the basement of Area 51, who is known by his demonic name of Baphomet and also known as Satan, the lord of this universe, is very interested in wrestling. In 1986 a lawsuit was filed by the United States Air Force claiming that the wrestlers had been implanted with microchips. The lawsuit has been resolved amicably and the cases have been dropped.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 00:09
|
|
|
Gavok posted:
These were great
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 01:50
|
|
|
I feel guilty, but I love Ready to Rumble. It's such a stupid movie, and it makes me appreciate Diamond Dallas Page even more. Dude is definitely best as a babyface, but he heels it up pretty well in that film.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 02:03
|
|
|
Gavok posted:
That reminds me of this Brandi Rhodes promo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0geDvqFMW8
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 05:54
|
|
|
Infidel Castro posted:If 2000 and later is the criteria, technically Mae Young giving birth to a rubber hand qualifies. But... it lost to David Arquette being WCW Champion. We Got Us A Bread posted:That reminds me of this Brandi Rhodes promo. That has nothing on the Diss the Diva Challenge. I just rewatched it off YouTube and even with an NSFW warning, I feel like I could get probated for linking the segment here. Anyway, back to the list. 2006: Eddiesploitation In 2005, Eddie Guerrero died while still being on the WWE roster. The company did a tribute episode the following Monday, which was actually very nice (though seeing how broken Benoit was was definitely ominous in retrospect). What didn't feel so nice was how days after Eddie's death, they were selling his merch at a discount on the shop site with a banner saying "VIVA LA SAVINGS!" The 2006 had Rey Mysterio win, which was very out of left field, but he was dedicating the match to Eddie. While that isn't the harshest use of a dead man's memory, it wasn't all so great when Randy Orton later told Mysterio in a promo that Eddie is in Hell. 2007: Vince McMahon's Secret Son So. Lot going on in this one. First they did a storyline where Vince, having lost all his marbles, went into his limo and it exploded. This storyline of Vince's mysterious death went on a few weeks before Chris Benoit's death happened and they decided to scrap it. Since they didn't get a chance to make it to Act II of the would-be epic, they tried again on a later Raw. This time, as Vince was about to get into his limo, he was suddenly informed that he had a secret son... and it was someone on the roster! Cue weeks and weeks of Vince narrowing his eyes at everyone he came across backstage while bragging to the Coach that he's been with so many women over the decades that he wouldn't know where to start. To its credit, the plan of the angle was pretty strong. The company had a guy named Ken Kennedy who was always on the cusp of becoming something huge. He was going to be revealed as Vince's son, leading to a huge push and a feud with Triple H. Unfortunately, a week before the son was supposed to be revealed, Kennedy was one of many caught in a big PED scandal. He was suspended for a month and they had to think of a last-minute replacement. The baby's momma's lawyer had all the men on the roster come into the ring so they could be eliminated several at a time in a giant game of Guess Who. At first they were playing up the idea that Triple H was going to be Vince's son... and all the grossness that would come with that. Then they swerved us all and revealed it to be Hornswoggle. Yes, the mute leprechaun living under the ring was a McMahon! Vince was embarrassed by this and his best plan to make this work was to put Hornswoggle into situations where he'd likely get the poo poo kicked out of him. Every time, Hornswoggle would get out of it, either due to cartoon-like superpowers or the help of his old mentor Finlay. This went on and on until one day JBL just beat the utter gently caress out of the guy to the point that Vince felt uncomfortable about it. JBL then explained that Hornswoggle wasn't Vince's son, but Finlay's. The blow-off to all of this was JBL winning a show-opening hardcore match against Finlay at WrestleMania 24. 2008: Mike Adamle WWE hired the guy from American Gladiators. A good idea if he knew even the slightest about wrestling. He did not! He made his debut at Royal Rumble 2008, talking up "Jeff Harvey." Adamle did commentary for WWE's ECW revival brand and was known for his annoying catch phrases and for being a gigantic dork who somehow got to replace the beloved Joey Styles. Trying to figure out what to do with the guy, they eventually just had him become the Raw GM, where he'd talk up his "Adamle Originals" ideas, including the Champion Scramble Match. Scrambles (timed multi-man matches where the last person to get a pin was the winner) were actually fun in a chaotic way, but once they finally got rid of Adamle, they never did another one of those. 2009: Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero On SmackDown, Chavo was the Cruiserweight Champion. Someone realized that since Cruiserweight = small, it only made sense for Hornswoggle to challenge for the title. Not only did Hornswoggle win the the Cruiserweight Championship and then retire it for several years, but we were treated with week after week after week after week after week after week of segments where Chavo tried to beat up Hornswoggle, only to fail. It was like WWE trying to do their version of the Roadrunner. Plus any time Hornswoggle did get hit or knocked down, commentary would get horrified, like they were watching someone punch a child. 2010: The Monday Night War 2.0 TNA just brought in Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff and got rid of the six-sided ring. Feeling pretty good about their chances to turn the company around, they decided to move TNA Impact to Mondays against Raw. They also brought back a lot of old names like Val Venis, Kevin Nash and the Nasty Boys. This new Monday Night War was over before it could truly start. They were utterly obliterated in the ratings, the shows weren't all that good and soon they had to go back to their old scheduling with their tail tucked between their legs. The whole thing was sad. 2011: Heel Michael Cole If you didn't watch WWE during 2010-2011, then congratulations because you missed out on the most genuinely unwatchable couple years of the product. When WWE started doing NXT and had beloved indie wrestler Daniel Bryan on the show, Vince McMahon thought this new guy was poo poo and all the fans were poo poo for caring about him. He proceeded to job Bryan out episode after episode while having Michael Cole on commentary bury him for being a gigantic loser. Cole was the main commentator on all of WWE's programming and soon his behavior stretched across these shows and started to involve burying practically everyone on the roster except for John Cena because nobody, heel or not, was ever allowed to second-guess anything Cena ever did. Having your play-by-play guy be a dick is exhausting, especially because Cole would rarely ever get his comeuppance. He would just poo poo on everything in every segment and if anyone argued with him, he'd just start yelling loudly until they stopped responding. It didn't help that his broadcast partners included a checked-out Jerry Lawler and overly-excited doofus Matt Striker. The payoff was initially going to be a Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole match at WrestleMania, but they stretched the feud out for a few more months and kept it going well past its expiration date. Up next: The Womb Where It Happened
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 14:02
|
|
|
Gavok posted:The blow-off to all of this was JBL winning a show-opening hardcore match against Finlay at WrestleMania 24. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 14:22
|
|
|
lol hulk hogan is hosting wrestlemania with a black guy whose gimmick is he barks like a dog
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 15:02
|
|
|
Mulaney Power Move posted:lol hulk hogan is hosting wrestlemania with a black guy whose gimmick is he barks like a dog DMX?
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 15:37
|
|
|
Bogus Adventure posted:I feel guilty, but I love Ready to Rumble. It's such a stupid movie, and it makes me appreciate Diamond Dallas Page even more. Dude is definitely best as a babyface, but he heels it up pretty well in that film. I do too. Basically none of the WCW product stuff was Arquette's fault, and Page is in my top five ever (and he's a really sterling human being, to boot.) I was at one of the big shows when all this was happening, too. Speaking of, AEW is basically what WCW was back when WCW was good. Same tenor, great matches, no weird McMahon bias towards only booking huge guys that look good and can't move or sell for poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 16:11
|
|
|
DMX murdering Hulk Hogan for calling him the N word would be a great way to kick off Mania.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 17:08
|
|
|
Didnt the WWE stock price drop a bit when Vince was blown up in the limo?
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 17:48
|
|
|
Bonzo posted:Didnt the WWE stock price drop a bit when Vince was blown up in the limo? trump thought it was real
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 18:18
|
|
|
Mulaney Power Move posted:lol hulk hogan is hosting wrestlemania with a black guy whose gimmick is he barks like a dog  There is a documentary of David Arquette 'You Cannot Kill David Arquette' that focuses on his return to wrestling and is supposedly pretty good.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 18:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:20 |
|
|
mallratcal posted:
It's amazing. Arquette rules.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2021 19:31
|
|