the empire runs on duncan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > the empire runs on duncan

hbag: Feb 13, 2021

Chris Knight posted:

i actually know the person who drew the original "femboy hooters" image that started that whole meme
they're pretty cool

:nws:

the image in question :nws:

# ? Mar 28, 2021 17:28

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 18:42

Powerful Two-Hander: Mar 10, 2004; Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.

jesus WEP posted:

i read the first three of them. the good bits were real good but the bad bits made it unbearable

there was literally no point reading the rest of them you made the right choice. I remember wolves of the calla being particularly bad.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:29

shoeberto: Jun 13, 2020; which way to the MACHINES?

I have a friend online (whose taste I generally trust) who is like, madly in love with the whole Dark Tower series, and like... I dunno, man, of all the series to hitch your wagon to, Dark Tower is a weird one.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:33

BaldDwarfOnPCP: Jun 26, 2019; by Pragmatica

shoeberto posted:

I have a friend online (whose taste I generally trust) who is like, madly in love with the whole Dark Tower series, and like... I dunno, man, of all the series to hitch your wagon to, Dark Tower is a weird one.

if you really like stephen king it sort of ties his extended universe together in a very literal way

to be generous the overall quality is extremely inconsistent

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:55

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

BaldDwarfOnPCP posted:

to be generous the overall quality is extremely inconsistent

this is stephen king we're talking about

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:59

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

the guy is prolific, he's written like 60-something books. the vast majority of them suck, but that doesn't matter as long as he keeps cranking them out

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:01

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

Stephen King is not happy with me--that's okay, I'll still keep reading that garbage.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:03

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; Can't post for 3 hours!; Slippery Tilde

i've always preferred his short stories, he consistently has problems ending his novels

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:14

shoeberto: Jun 13, 2020; which way to the MACHINES?

infernal machines posted:

the guy is prolific, he's written like 60-something books. the vast majority of them suck, but that doesn't matter as long as he keeps cranking them out

He exists in this weird space for me where I don't really like what he does, but I respect him for doing it, and being successful for as long as he has.

Like I can't say I could do better, I've never written a single book, much less made a career out of doing it. And you can't really accuse him of being formulaic. He's carved out a niche for himself where he's got fans that I don't understand, but whatever, maybe it's just not for me.

But yeah, Dark Tower is pretty dumb, even though I want to like the premise.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:16

shoeberto: Jun 13, 2020; which way to the MACHINES?

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

i've always preferred his short stories, he consistently has problems ending his novels

Actually yeah, I spent some time reading The Night Watch many years ago and dug the way he could put a short story together.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:17

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; Can't post for 3 hours!; Slippery Tilde

at one point in the dark tower series they're fighting robot doctor dooms armed with lightsabers and exploding harry potter sneetches

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:18

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

i always liked the short story collections too. the novels are too hit or miss

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:19

Powerful Two-Hander: Mar 10, 2004; Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.

I wish someone would have the balls to make a proper Running Man film with the end from the short story where he 9/11s the corporate tower as a big gently caress you to the corps

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

at one point in the dark tower series they're fighting robot doctor dooms armed with lightsabers and exploding harry potter sneetches

oh my god I forgot about that poo poo

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:37

The Fool: Oct 16, 2003

I stopped reading the dark tower after three pages about how amazing sugar was to someone that�s never had it before

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:39

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

reading a synopsis of the Dark Tower is a lot cooler and more satisfying than when I tried to read the books

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:28

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

I also remember within like 5 pages of starting, idk why i thought about it but i got this idea that the series would end with roland being dumped back to the start of the story again and getting really mad that it might happen because it�s a lovely lazy non-ending, and i guess it turns out that�s exactly what happens lmao. maybe i had heard about it and stored it away subconsciously because im pretty sure even king didn�t know he would end the series like that when he started.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:32

shoeberto: Jun 13, 2020; which way to the MACHINES?

jesus WEP posted:

I also remember within like 5 pages of starting, idk why i thought about it but i got this idea that the series would end with roland being dumped back to the start of the story again and getting really mad that it might happen because it’s a lovely lazy non-ending, and i guess it turns out that’s exactly what happens lmao. maybe i had heard about it and stored it away subconsciously because im pretty sure even king didn’t know he would end the series like that when he started.

Again I never finished the series, but reading this is non-surprising by how he telegraphs "ka is a wheel" and poo poo. I don't remember much being talked about like that at the start but in general he's not at all subtle about the design of the universe.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:41

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

after a delay - police story 3 tonight

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:43

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

SmokaDustbowl posted:

it's american literature, so that poo poo is mostly about racism and eating cowboy beans in the desert or whatever

i'm enjoying the thought of "cowboy beans" or the eating thereof being a euphemism for some filthy poo poo

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:44

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

The Fool posted:

I stopped reading the dark tower after three pages about how amazing sugar was to someone that�s never had it before

big cryptonomicon captain crunch energy

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:45

shoeberto: Jun 13, 2020; which way to the MACHINES?

Ok I really did want a decent synopsis of the whole Dark Tower story and some of the poo poo I'm reading is just......... wow

https://darktower.fandom.com/wiki/Roland_Deschain posted:

Roland discovers the only reason the vampires haven't killed him is that he is wearing a gold necklace with God written on it, something he discovers when John (who is also wearing one) is killed by removing it. Roland and Sister Jenna soon escape but are stopped by Sister Mary the head of the organization. However, Sister Mary is killed by the Jesus Dog, a dog with a cross on it Roland discovered in town. Roland and Jenna go to a cave and sleep.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:57

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; Can't post for 3 hours!; Slippery Tilde

jesus WEP posted:

I also remember within like 5 pages of starting, idk why i thought about it but i got this idea that the series would end with roland being dumped back to the start of the story again and getting really mad that it might happen because it�s a lovely lazy non-ending, and i guess it turns out that�s exactly what happens lmao. maybe i had heard about it and stored it away subconsciously because im pretty sure even king didn�t know he would end the series like that when he started.

ah but he has his bugle this time

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:58

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

The Fool posted:

I stopped reading the dark tower after three pages about how amazing sugar was to someone that�s never had it before

the same book had the main character Sir Volcel of Coolguns gets all hot and horny in NYC because women are wearing pants and he�s never seen a clothed crotch before, presumably just twisted morasses of petticoats or w/e tae gently caress. very stephen king

# ? Mar 28, 2021 22:07

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

the protagonist of the dark tower series is basically a tradcath lol

# ? Mar 28, 2021 22:08

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

ah but he has his bugle this time

yeah. it�s totally different

# ? Mar 28, 2021 22:16

BaldDwarfOnPCP: Jun 26, 2019; by Pragmatica

Kenny Logins posted:

the same book had the main character Sir Volcel of Coolguns gets all hot and horny in NYC because women are wearing pants and he�s never seen a clothed crotch before, presumably just twisted morasses of petticoats or w/e tae gently caress. very stephen king

roland fucks, op

# ? Mar 28, 2021 22:21

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

this movie owns

# ? Mar 28, 2021 22:32

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

i also bring bazookas to my business meetings

# ? Mar 28, 2021 22:54

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

king jackie and queen michelle. god tier

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:29

lament.cfg: Dec 28, 2006; we have such posts
to show you

shoeberto posted:

Ok I really did want a decent synopsis of the whole Dark Tower story and some of the poo poo I'm reading is just......... wow

Jesus dog.... dog with the Jesus on it.... Jesus dog.....

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:34

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:36

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; Can't post for 3 hours!; Slippery Tilde

BaldDwarfOnPCP posted:

roland fucks, op

he gets spermjacked by a ghost

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:38

Powerful Two-Hander: Mar 10, 2004; Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

he gets spermjacked by a ghost

hahahaha oh man I forgot about that as well.

and then later the one female character channels the detta walker borderline racist caricature of herself and fucks a succubus to death

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:41

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

i forgot theres a bit where the woman kills a literal sex demon by loving it too good

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:42

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

infernal machines posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roswPPr2t3U

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:42

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

drat

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:43

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

shut the gently caress up im talking about jacke chan movies

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:43

BaldDwarfOnPCP: Jun 26, 2019; by Pragmatica

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

hahahaha oh man I forgot about that as well.

and then later the one female character channels the detta walker borderline racist caricature of herself and fucks a succubus to death

it's the same incubus/succubus

it's roland's jizz

makes a mini me of him which is also a spider

the spider baby eats the surrogate mother starting with her breast

this is not as chaste as KLoggins was suggesting

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:50