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Jim punches Dwight in the back of the head.
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Mar 29, 2021 20:23
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| # ? May 17, 2024 17:06 |
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It's 1967 and Jim and Dwight become buddies during their 12 months deployment in Vietnam. Saving each others lives countless times in that steaming jungle hell. Immediately after getting off the plane home Jim calls Dwight a baby killer and spits on him.
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Mar 29, 2021 22:16
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jim arranges for dwight to be consumed by wolves
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Mar 29, 2021 22:40
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While getting a schedule oil change Jim pays the mechanic to switch around Dwight's directional tires resulting in worse gas mileage and poor handling.
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Mar 29, 2021 23:13
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Dwight can tell that Jim has been feeling stifled lately, possibly full blown depression. Jim is losing weight, having trouble concentrating, and seems sad for days on end. Pam’s wedding date is getting closer, and Dwight knows that it’s clearly bothering Jim. Jim’s problems compound, and he’s missing his sales numbers, he’s been drinking more than he should, and starting to sink into compounding depression. One day, Jim comes in late and smelling of booze. After a few minutes, he sees Dwight thumbing through a catalogue of spy tools. Jim convinces Dwight to buy a pair of x-ray glasses for him, and when they arrive, Jim pretends that they really work. He acts shocked at seeing Dwight naked, and Dwight runs into the break room yelling for Michael. Jim mugs the camera, a small smile on his face. In confessional, Dwight reveals that he knew the whole time x-ray glasses don’t work. He just wanted Jim to feel better.
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Mar 29, 2021 23:25
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Turnabout is fair play and for once Dwight pranks Jim by putting a Whoopie Cushion on Jim's chair when he gets up to get a drink of water. Everyone in the office has a harmless laugh at Jim's expense when he sits back at his desk but Jim immediately gets back up, goes to Toby, and has Dwight written up for creating a hostile work environment.
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Mar 30, 2021 09:27
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Jim pulls the datajack from Dwight's skull while he's in the matrix. As Dwight seizes in the chair Jim mugs at the Sentinel
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Mar 30, 2021 21:13
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Funky See Funky Do posted:It's 1967 and Jim and Dwight become buddies during their 12 months deployment in Vietnam. Saving each others lives countless times in that steaming jungle hell. Immediately after getting off the plane home Jim calls Dwight a baby killer and spits on him. M*A*S*H reboot with Rainn Wilson as Frank Burns and Jon Krasinski as Hawkeye. Call it Office 4077.
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Mar 31, 2021 08:33
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Jim tells Dwight about an old saying in his family; "Thou who art Undead, art chosen... In thine exodus from the Undead Asylum, maketh pilgrimage to the land of Ancient Lords... When thou ringeth the Bell of Awakening, the fate of the Undead thou shalt know..." sending him on one doozy of a wild goose chase
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Mar 31, 2021 09:01
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:M*A*S*H reboot with Rainn Wilson as Frank Burns and Jon Krasinski as Hawkeye. Call it Office 4077. set in the future Lazer Wars. Karen is a robot, Angela is a sentient squid.
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Mar 31, 2021 15:23
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Dwight logs onto his favorite internet forums and begins checking out the new posts. He's in the midst of chuckling when he notices that LAP has been given a star. His face is ashen, his hands fall from the keyboard. How can this be? WHO could have made this terrible mistake?? "MICHAEL!?" He screams... Across the way, Jim mugs for the camera.
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Mar 31, 2021 15:24
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naem posted:set in the future Lazer Wars. Karen is a robot, Angela is a sentient squid. And Radar is still being played by Gary Burghoff.
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Mar 31, 2021 17:11
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Jim gives Dwight a parrot, knowing full well that parrots are a living nightmare to own
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Mar 31, 2021 17:53
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Jim amputates his right leg and arrives to the office in a wheelchair. Dwight points out that Jim is not handicapped, arguing to the point of pushing Jim out of the wheelchair. Jim, flopping around on the ground, accuses Dwight of being an ableist. Jim hires an assassin to kill himself, framing Dwight for the murder. Dwight goes to prison. Jim is dead. Jim gets his hand on a batch of Kalocin, an universal antibiotic. He slowly puts doses of this in Dwight's coffee, gradually killing off all foreign bacteria in Dwight. When Jim stops giving Dwight the Kalocin, Dwight is killed by otherwise benign bacteria and viruses in a few hours.
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Mar 31, 2021 19:27
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Jim buys Dwight an SA account.
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Mar 31, 2021 19:31
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Jim buys SA and makes Dwight a mod.
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Mar 31, 2021 19:57
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After one of Jim's pranks goes horribly wrong both he and Dwight find themselves before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Welcome to Heaven boys! It's your lucky day. I seem to have misplaced The Big Book of Sins so we're just letting everyone in. That is, unless you have some sins you'd like to confess." Saint Peter chuckles but Jim cuts him off. "He's an adulterer and he worshipped a devil." "Jim!" shouts Dwight. "Whaaaat?" cries Saint Peter "He was having sex with a woman named Angela who he knew was married. He had no shame about it. At Christmas once year instead of celebrating the birth of Christ he tried to get us to worship a devil name Belsnickel." "Jim! Why?" whimpers Dwight. Saint Peter looks furious. "Thank for your honesty young man. You may enter." "And you." He turns to Dwight "I cast thee into The Pit!"
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Mar 31, 2021 22:20
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Jim invites everyone at the office out for beers and wings after work to maybe catch a game at the pub. Except Dwight. Dwight hears about it and gently asks around and is told they're "sure Jim MEANT to ask" and that he should drop by anyway. When Dwight arrives he gets a few friendly/semi-absent waves and smiles from the group. Except Jim, who scoffs incredulously and asks "What are YOU doing here?" and then grabs his coat and storms out, leaving for the night.
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Mar 31, 2021 22:32
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Jim tricks Dwight into watching this new TV show on NBC called The Office. After the opening theme finishes, Dwight wipes the blood streaming from his nose on a wad of paper towels. He notices his drivers license on the kitchen counter - Mark Samson. Mark’s life as Dwight seems to quickly fade as if it were a dream. Surely, it was just a dream, right? Mark was a high school chemistry teacher, and had been for 8 years. His wife had left him due to his rampant alcoholism. With a sigh, Mark sits back down on his sofa to distract himself from his life again, engrossed in this new sitcom. He thinks the character of Jim is funny, but he doesn’t like how he keeps glaring with disdain into the camera, seemingly directed at Mark himself.
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Apr 1, 2021 05:00
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Jim challenges Dwight to a "Hot One's" style spicy chicken wing challenge. Jim knows he can't take the heat so he replaces Dwight's hot sauce with battery acid. Dwight suspects Jim is up to his old pranks and coats his tongue with lead. Jim is forced to eat some spicy wing and does a very sweaty mug to the camera. Dwight dies and also Jim dies. Michael and Toby have a wrestling match to the death. numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 10:58 on Apr 1, 2021 |
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Apr 1, 2021 10:55
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jim fucks dwight up with the sharp end of a claw hammer, gurning and mugging the whole time
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Apr 1, 2021 11:05
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jim mugs at the camera, then his eyes turn into werewolf eyes and there's a freeze frame and vincent price laughing
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Apr 1, 2021 13:20
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jim plomps a stinkly one
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Apr 1, 2021 13:22
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Jim gets up from his desk for his morning poo poo and enters the woman's bathroom because it's closer. No one sees him enter or leave. Shortly after, Angela takes a bathroom break. When she opens the door though the exclaims "oh my god who did this?" Jim's eyes light up. He siezes the opportunity and shouts "see Dwight I told you not to use the woman's room!" Dwight, confused and flustered, has no idea what's going on. He turns around rapidly, and accidently spills his coffee onto a stack of papers on his desk. Jim mugs the camera.
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Apr 1, 2021 13:27
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Jim sends Dwight to the cornfield.
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Apr 1, 2021 13:42
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It's opening day of baseball, and Jim has been talking it up to Dwight for weeks now. Having convinced him he's serious, Jim gets Dwight to join him in buying tickets to go see the game, both are extremely excited to take the day off and head to the ballpark. Once there, they get some hotdogs and sodas, and laugh and are having a great time. In the 4th inning, the stadium's promotions team turns on the infamous 'KISS CAM!" and pans it through the stands. What Dwight doesn't know, is that Jim has paid off the team to focus on him and Dwight, and then place the text, "Will you Marry Me" under them. The camera finds them, and Dwight begins to awkwardly chuckle until the text appears, at which point Jim pretends to start crying in a panic, and slaps Dwight, twice, as hard as possible, then flees the stands as the crowd erupts in cheers and laughter, leaving Dwight alone, mocked, and in a panic.
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Apr 1, 2021 13:47
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Dwight sees Jim on the wing
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Apr 1, 2021 13:48
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It's April 1st and Dwight is afraid to even leave his house. Jim pranks Dwight mercilessly every day, but on April 1st it becomes unbearable. Dwight's house is a fortress. He's bolted all the doors, boarded the windows and sealed up every nook and cranny. He patrols the rooms of his house with a loaded shotgun. He hears the sound of the approaching predator drone too late.
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Apr 1, 2021 13:56
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Jim tricks Dwight into accepting tickets to the big game. When Dwight is walking to his car, Jim jumps out of the bushes and kicks Dwight hard in the balls.
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Apr 1, 2021 14:00
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Pam is involved in a tragic art accident and is rushed to the hospital. Jim is in Philadelphia and races home, accidentally crashing his car off the side of a mountain and dying in a fiery wreck. Pam dies on the operating table. Several months later, all of the surgeons involved begin dying in implausible ways. One is killed by bats in his bedroom, another has all of the blood drained out of his body while home alone. When a man is killed by locusts, Dwight surmises that the killer is using the biblical plagues to kill these people. He then remembers that Jim was reading the Bible the last time he was in the office. Dwight is convinced it's Jim and begins investigating, only to find that Mose has been kidnapped. Dwight rushes to Jim's old house and finds Mose strapped to a table, Jim eagerly watching. Dwight demands to know what's going on and Jim explains that Mose has as much time on the operating table as Pam did, and that he's surgically implanted the key to free him next to his heart. Dwight races to save Mose, only for Jim to tear his own face off, revealing it to be a mask covering a burned visage. Jim survived the car crash, but at a terrible cost. As Dwight works to free Mose, Jim begins playing an organ and sinks into the basement of his house. Dwight saves Mose in the nick of time, but Jim replaces his own blood with embalming fluid and seals himself up in an ornate casket with Pam, never to be seen again. As Dwight heads into the basement he notes that the final curse of the Pharaoh was darknesss and feels uneasy.
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Apr 1, 2021 14:03
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Jim then called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people, and said to them, “You brought me this man as one who was misleading the people. And after examining him before you, behold, I did not find this man guilty of any of your charges against him. Neither did Michael, for he sent him back to us. Look, nothing deserving death has been done by him. I will therefore punish and release him.” But they all cried out together, “Away with this man, and release to us Andy”— a man who had been thrown into prison for an insurrection started in the city and for murder. Jim addressed them once more, desiring to release Dwight, but they kept shouting, “Crucify, crucify him!” A third time he said to them, “Why? What evil has he done? I have found in him no guilt deserving death. I will therefore punish and release him.” But they were urgent, demanding with loud cries that he should be crucified. And their voices prevailed. So Jim decided that their demand should be granted. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, for whom they asked, but he delivered Dwight over to their will. Then Jim mugged at the camera.
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Apr 1, 2021 14:11
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Jim is completely out of ideas. He's run the gamut of pranks from low effort "Jim punches dwight in the teeth" to high effort operations involving time travel and tricking Dwight to fall in love with him. A normal man would have gone insane millennia ago, but Dwight has the steady nerves of a wolverine (the most fearsome land mammal). With a sly smirk, Dwight turns to the camera. "This is all... part of the pla" Dwight doesn't get to finish his sentence as Jim sneaks up behind him and places Dwight into a chokehold. Dwight, red faced and choking, flails his limbs as the oxygen is restricted to his brain. Getting tunnel vision and seeing stars, Dwight fumbles his hands across his desk and grabs a handful of pens. With his last ounce of strength, he jams the fistful of writing utensils backwards. His world goes black.
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Apr 1, 2021 14:22
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jim enrobes dwight in molten chocolate
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Apr 1, 2021 15:16
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Dwight sips from his favorite coffee mug. Unbeknownst to Dwight, Jim has transformed himself into a replica of Dwight’s mug and derives a sexual thrill from the sensation of Dwight’s lips on his rim. Mug Jim mugs the camera. On a related note: Pam’s Deviantart gallery is entirely comprised of mug transformation porn.
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Apr 1, 2021 20:12
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Jim jims jim's jim. Dwight dwights.
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Apr 1, 2021 20:15
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distracting him with a poke to the eye, jim reachs down firmly and briskly clips the head off dwight's penis with a cigar cutter
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Apr 1, 2021 22:35
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Jim calls Dwight a “tankie” for insufficiently failing to join in the dogpile with everyone in the office against Kelly when she is outed as a TERF
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Apr 1, 2021 22:46
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Jim starts copying everything Dwight says. Dwight loudly orders Jim to stop, but is frustrated because his every word and inflection is copied perfectly by Jim. Things take an unsettling turn when Dwight continues to speak in synch with Jim, even after Jim resumes his normal conversation. Dwight is unable to stop himself. Even in the car on his drive home, Dwight finds himself compulsively reciting what one can only assume is Jim's half of a conversation with Pam. Dwight is unable to speak unless Jim speaks. It is only late at night, after Dwight is forced to endure hours of embarrassingly intimate dialogue that he finally slips mercifully into unconsciousness. In his sleep, Dwight mugs the camera.
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Apr 2, 2021 00:03
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Jim enacts an oil embargo on Dwight, causing him to launch a surprise attack on the U.S. fleet at Pearl Harbor.
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Apr 2, 2021 00:25
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| # ? May 17, 2024 17:06 |
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Jim convinces Dwight to enter a land war in Asia
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Apr 2, 2021 00:31
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