Lemniscate Blue posted:

If a person like Bennet says something that can be interpreted as racist, sexist, mean, or in any other lovely way, assume they meant it that way. If it can be taken in multiple lovely ways, assume they mean all of them and are patting themselves on the back over how clever they are.

Cardiovorax posted:

Well, she's apparently really famous for taking gigantic shits.

christmas boots posted:

I dunno, "gay people have daddy issues" seems a bit high-concept for her compared to the low-hanging stereotype of "black men have absent fathers". I'm sure she'd happily agree with it but I'm not convinced she could generate that thought of her own accord.

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

They're top tier athletes. All of it is converted to fuel.

They take rabbit poops once a week, tops.

Heath posted:

If you're having the rabbit turds that means you're dehydrated and should drink more water

Cardiovorax posted:

drat, that "do you still see your dad" tweet. That's, like, some intentional "lol deadbeat black dads" poo poo, isn't it?

Antifa Turkeesian posted:

That scene in Red Dawn where the dad in the concentration camp is screaming "avenge me!" to his brave resistance son through the barbed wire, but it's a drunk man writing tweets.

MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

Yeah, and then she tried to make it “Lil Nas X threatened to rape my family.” I loving hate her, she is awful.

E: the irony is he (LNX) had posted a message of support from his dad about how proud he was like, less than a week ago.

Heath posted:

Loving the the new avatar, cumshitter

Joan posted:

Thanks

oldpainless posted:

I’m a white supremacist

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

Oh yeah? Then name every white person.

Android Apocalypse posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK_LN3XEcnw

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

I roasted the poo poo out of my dad once in front of my mom by pointing to an old phot of him in like 1976 where he had a huge perm afro, a Tom Selleck mustache, shirtless, itty bitty athletic shorts, and knee high socks with rainbow stripes at the top and I said "are we sure I'm the gay one?"

WITCHCRAFT posted:

This reminds me of when I worked graveyard shift at a gas station, and the weird Donut Guys that would deliver the Dunkin Donuts at 3 or 4 am, hot off the presses. They showed up in an unmarked windowless white cargo van, and carried the donuts inside in big steel boxes that could have fit a medium sized dog. Neither of them was much of a talker. Donut guy 1 was kind of schlubby but smelled like he never ever wiped his rear end. Like he wasn't fat enough that he couldn't, he just didn't ever wipe his rear end. Donut guy 2 was in his 20s in good shape, and he was all business. Jogging into the store with the two cages of donuts, releasing them into the wild, then bolting. Sometimes he was stoned to the bone with eyes as red as the devil's dick, but he never changed his routine. Neither of them were ever happy, and just had this dour gloomy facade that hung over them. They never said hi back to me so eventually I gave up. Silent donut hitmen delivering their payloads in unmarked vans and disappearing back into the night from whence they came.

Life must be hell at the Dunkin Dunts factory. All the truck drivers that delivered stuff in the middle of the night were like, approachable human beings and we would bullshit about whatever until they had to leave. The Donut Guys were loving morose mutes.

toanoradian posted:

How did opposition to age of consent became emblematic of libertarians? Are there no other political philosophies that pedophiles adhere to?

zoux posted:

Because we made it emblematic to own them when they showed up to derail threads over technical minutae - and I'm glad of it

Straight White Shark posted:

Funny, usually it's the libertarians that want to own people.

ultrafilter posted:

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Whoa Black Betty
Van of ham

limp_cheese posted:

Old favorites on page 1000 hell yeah

https://i.imgur.com/cKZ7BJa.mp4

Memento posted:

Some stay dry and others feel the pain

Manifisto posted:

this is not only rude but downright uncultured. the stockholm protocol demands that only culinary ingredients be borked, and that such borking always occur in triplicate.

Bluedeanie posted:

Nothin better in the world than a big bite of something that has just the right amount of horseradish or wasabi. Doesn't kill you but unlocks your Third Nostril and you can smell infinity.

fizzymercury posted:

Don't unlock your third nostril if you have hay fever and you're around people who still have a high opinion of you. You'll ruin the floating sushi boat restaurant experience for everyone.

Head Hit Keyboard posted:

I played around with Proteus and immediately dumped it when saving my character untempered all of my gear.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

You had an untemper tantrum lol

Big Beef City posted:

Jeffrey,

Other than being the godfather of my children, occasional financial assistance with my mortgage, pleasuring my wife, not banning me (again), forging several references for me on my resume, co-signing my truck loan, being my designated driver even though you live a long way away and work in the morning and I don't have a job to wake up for, purposely losing to me in Yahtzee so that I don't cry, and several other SMALL favors, I have never asked for jack poo poo from you.

I'm asking you, buy this for SomethingAwful.


Thank you in advance because I know you will.

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

mr Scoop posted:

someone should tell them that fa isn’t short for farsi

Platystemon posted:

feedmyleg posted:

I watch all my NES content on YouTube and never even thought of podcasts? Suggestions for anything that isn't just obnoxious dweebs making bad jokes?

Tree Bucket posted:

You've come to the wrong forums, friend

Empty Sandwich posted:

Rosencrantz and mangosteen are dead

frankenfreak posted:

Midjack posted:

DMX had a heart attack and is on life support.

CRUSTY MINGE posted:

His future pacemaker hopefully will lay a consistent beat.

Mr Grumpy posted:

My traitorous heart.
I’m three months out of a 2 year relationship, and although sad, I'm coping.
Then I meet this girl at dancing lessons. We hit it off. Start spending some time together. We go social dancing, even have dinner, then catch a movie on a no dancing ‘date’. We chat and email each other. We have good conversations after class and when we are not dancing. I am comfortable in her company.
Then, it strikes. With no warring or conscious effort on my part.
I'm driving home one night and suddenly I feel it.
"NO!" my mind shrieks at me. "NO, not now!"
But the Heart kicks it up a pace. "I have the power" it demands of the brain.
"It's not time. You are not ready. You enjoy your time alone" - this is the brain in a vain attempt at justification.
"Pfft" scoffs the heart. "What would you know? Look what’s happening to me. I’m alive again!"
“I know. But it......is............not............"the brain fads away.
"Victory!" cried the heart.
Feelings start to flow, rampantly and out of control. I can't help it. The heart is overriding the brain with thoughts of her. She is pretty, smart, awesome!
Brain – “Stop it.”
Heart – “No! I override your logic and self defence mechanisms. I know no fear”
Brain – “Stop it. You know where this with end.”
Heart – “Live a little! She's a great girl, you should ask her out.”
Brain – “NO! Then things get complicated and uncomfortable when we se each other.”
Heart – “stuff you, here, send this witty but slying flirty txt.”
Brain – “no no nonononooooooooooooooo OHNO! too late.”
45 seconds later
Heart – “drat! That wasn't supposed to happen. Not the response I was looking for.”
Brain – “I friggin' knew it! You tool!”
Emotion steps in – “Here, you might this. It's called embarrassment. Get used to it.”
Perception – “Didn’t see that coming!”
Brain – “Perception you’re blinder Ray Charles. This sucks.”
Heart – “Aw shut up, your not the one pounding a million miles a minutes when you think about her.”
Brain – “So, how are we gonna get outta this mess?”
Heart – “I dunno. I'm broken. Again.”
Brain – “yeah and who's fault it that.”
Heart – “Stuff you, stand up for yourself for a change. Geez.”
Emotion – “Pride dude, pride. You gotta save your self esteem. Heart and Brain - you two need to sort this poo poo out. You can’t take these beating any more.”
Brain – “it aint that easy.


It just aint that easy.”

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

EorayMel posted:

Kenning posted:

Hard disagree, that sucked rear end.

caligulamprey posted:

Harmontown really got me and my friends into the idea of playing Dungeons and Dragons until we realized that all we really wanted was to do improv while drunk.