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manero posted:How does someone become a pro wrestling ref anyway? What career path leads to that? Being a failed pro wrestler
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Apr 7, 2021 03:31
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Vince MechMahon posted:Hey. You can also be too fat or too sane. counterpoint: 
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Apr 7, 2021 03:53
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gently caress
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Apr 7, 2021 04:05
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it always struck me as ridiculous that the big show was sent down to ovw for being overweight when it was fine for viscera to be shaped like a human boulder for most of his career how can you even tell if the big show is overweight? maybe he's supposed to be that shape, you don't know. science has no data
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Apr 7, 2021 04:31
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My Lovely Horse posted:What are the storylines going into this year's Mania? Some friends and I might do an online watch party and I can't be arsed to look it up. I know we're getting boring old Randy Orton vs. the Boogeyman and I know we're getting another Steen vs. Generico. WWE's match promo videos are usually really good and will give you a good idea of the feud.
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Apr 7, 2021 07:23
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Eclipse12 posted:Sorry I called you jabronis that was unkind I'll forgive you if you do more Raw reports. If not, I'll cry.
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Apr 7, 2021 08:24
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MakaVillian posted:Mike Tyson apparently! If you go to Mike Tyson's hotel room at 1am, you're either there to get punched in the head or have sex with him.
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Apr 7, 2021 17:14
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Master J Plus posted:If you go to Mike Tyson's hotel room at 1am, you're either there to get punched in the head or have sex with him. So you're saying I've got a 50-50 chance of loving Mike Tyson if I go to his hotel room?
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Apr 7, 2021 17:30
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He's got two hands and one penis (presumed), it's probably more like 33-66
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Apr 7, 2021 17:33
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You can have it all.
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Apr 7, 2021 17:52
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Cubone posted:it always struck me as ridiculous that the big show was sent down to ovw for being overweight when it was fine for viscera to be shaped like a human boulder for most of his career Big Show is 100% supposed to be that shape
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Apr 7, 2021 18:14
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Master J Plus posted:If you go to Mike Tyson's hotel room at 1am, you're either there to get punched in the head or have sex with him. 100% chance of both
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Apr 7, 2021 18:23
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Bogus Adventure posted:So you're saying I've got a 50-50 chance of loving Mike Tyson if I go to his hotel room? Please clarify: 1) are you a normal man or a genetic freak 2) will Samoa Joe be there he's fat
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Apr 7, 2021 18:25
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My Lovely Horse posted:He's got two hands and one penis (presumed), it's probably more like 33-66 Eclipse12 posted:You can have it all. FullLeatherJacket posted:Please clarify: lol
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Apr 7, 2021 18:49
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FullLeatherJacket posted:Please clarify:
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Apr 7, 2021 19:31
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Senior JOE!
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Apr 7, 2021 19:53
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verbal enema posted:Big Show is 100% supposed to be that shape Young WCW Giant was actually in pretty drat good shape. 
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Apr 7, 2021 20:38
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Shaman Tank Spec posted:Young WCW Giant was actually in pretty drat good shape. He'll always be Captain Insano to me 
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Apr 7, 2021 21:16
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Bogus Adventure posted:He'll always be Captain Insano to me AEW filled a trademark for this when they signed him. He might appear on AEW TV as Captain Insano at some point.
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Apr 7, 2021 21:33
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Vince MechMahon posted:AEW filled a trademark for this when they signed him. He might appear on AEW TV as Captain Insano at some point. YES!!!
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Apr 7, 2021 21:56
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Shaman Tank Spec posted:Young WCW Giant was actually in pretty drat good shape. I thought he got sent to OVW to learn how the wrestle better. I seem to recall WCW just used him because of his size and figured they could teach him as time went on. I saw him in the Toy Tiger one night with (what seemed like) the smallest bottle of Bud Lite ever.
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Apr 7, 2021 22:58
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 T H I C C C C C C
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Apr 8, 2021 01:48
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King of the Ring Part 2 Welcome back Sports Entertainment Enthusiasts! I'm going ALL OUT and BARRING NO HOLDS for today's KING OF THE RING UPDATE because poo poo GETS CRAZY! CAPS LOCK! DIAL-UP MODEM USERS GO TO HELL!  Here's where we left the action! .................................  Mean-rear end Gene uses some middle school tactics to start some poo poo between Hart and Perfect by twisting Bret's words into implying Perfect is an easier matchup than Mr. Hughes. And then, to continue the playground maturity level, the two grapplers literally start arguing about whose dad was stronger. Seriously. "All you Canadians are alike..." Perfect starts, and I got all giddy with anticipation for sick burns, but then he just non-sequitored into a different thought and now I hope he loses. We segue immediately into their match. Real talk: These guys have zero beef and both are babyfaces, so the interview felt like an absolute half-rear end attempt to create some bad blood mere seconds before their match. Whether you like or hate what the WWE has become in the modern era, you have to admit at least they TRY and build tension in the weeks/days before matches instead of waiting until the actual last minute.  So now, here's The Bret There Is, The Bret There Was, and The Bret There Ever Will Be against Mr. Perfect in a 30 minute match.  Perfect's hair looks like uncooked ramen. Uncooked! Uncut!  Good technical wrestling, but looking at the crowd and you'll see a sizeable part of the audience isn't even looking at the match.  Dick Stomp! If Dick Stomp is a legal move, why would you ever use anything else?  "Good grief! What a chop! It's flesh-on-flesh!" It's so good having JR for this match  Rare EXTREME action (for 1993) when Hart is catapulted from the apron into a railing.    Hell yeah, this is good wrestling  Ref does some hotdog maneuver to keep up with the action. Fun!  Forget the hip toss. Here's the hair toss.  Heenan is arguing with JR about the sleeper hold. Heenan says it's "choking him" and JR argues that no, it's not a choke, "it's a sleeper hold." WHAT?  Hart delivers an uppercut: "What a lifter!" gasps Macho Man. "He brought that from the basement to the roof!" proclaims Heenan. "He brought that from the heartland to Dunton!" JR screams, copying Heenan while also forgetting the name of the city he's in.  In a surprising finale, the match ends not with a Sharpshooter or Perfectplex, but with a Hart countering Perfect's roll-up pin.  Class act he is, Perfect congratulates Hart on his win. [Editor's note: I didn't edit this photo. The weird glow was part of the screenshot itself. I caught it right as camera flashes were going off. Looked cool so I kept it.  ...............................  No context "There's no water around us! There will be no sneak attack!" Hogan declares about his upcoming fight against Yokozuna. Hmm... what is he getting at??????????   Holy poo poo, Jimmy Hart without his shades looks like an absolute maniac here. ....................... With that, we interrupt the brackets (so Hart can rest his stomped balls) for Yokozuna vs Hogan in a title match. Somehow Hogan allowed himself to not be the main event?!  "Yep, I'm feeling really good about this match. Yessir. No insane spectacle the likes of which we've never seen before. Nosiree. Just a regular ol' wrestlin' match."  Crowd goes apeshit for Hogan's entrace, but I've seen them go apeshittier in the past :/ "Forget the NBA!" Heenan yells, in anticipation of Hogan/Yokozuna. In 1993 On the same night as game 3 of the NBA finals With Jordan and the Bulls vs Barkley and the Suns in a game that would have a combined score of 250 points  Ha ha ha! He follows it up with "This is where you make the money," which is just an absolutely flat-out stupid thing to say.  I'm not gonna retype them all, but trust me, there is a LOT of Asian stereotype/veiled racism/unveiled racism from the commentary crew, specifically Heenan.   Rare demonstration of the double-fishhook. I had a friend in high school who loved the fishhook. He used it in an actual after-school, backwoods fistfight. Crowd (of high schoolers) went nuts then, too.  Hogan grabs a sack and tries to heft a chonky boi but just can't get the deed done. Hogan would need unprecedented levels of Hulkamania to generate the power needed.  In a callback to Hogan/Andre in Wrestlemania, Hogan gets a nice long bearhug so his opponent can catch their breath.  It's happening! Hulkamania is exceeding it's maximum safety threshold. Fans are being asked to evacuate the building for their own safety but they refuse!  Lol, this fan  Big Boot! To the head! Yokozuna is down!   Big Leg Drop! Mr. Fuji gets punched in the mouth! Hulkamania is reaching critical mass! Okay, the match is about to end. Guess how it ends. Seriously, guess. What is the most ridiculous, out-of-nowhere idea you can come up with? And remember, in Wrestlemania IX, Giant Gonzalez used a chloroform rag on Undertaker, but tonight's outdoes that a thousand times over. Interruption from Mr. Fuji? Been done. Surprise attack from supposed-ally Brutus Beefcake? Yawn. Lighting fixture falls from the ceiling onto both grapplers? Not NEARLY crazy enough. Keep in mind, there is no setup, no foreshadowing, no peek earlier at what is to come. Ready? You sure?      CAMERA MAN WITH FLAMETHROWER!!!!!!! You DID NOT see that one coming! This is why you watch early 90s wrestling. This. I hope they never, ever explain it.  Hogan's down! Leg drop from Yokozuna! Hogan's done!  This one's for you, Bogus Adventure  Ha ha ha. The "official decision" goes to Yokozuna. Imagine any other sport where a participant is attacked with a flamethrower in full view of God and everyone and the refs just shrug their shoulders and go, "Guess that means he loses."  "Hulkamania is dead!"  "There's children crying!"  Take it like a man, crybaby. ... Okay, real talk. I knew from memory that Yokozuna won, but the  fireball camera was new to me. And I thought Hogan did slam Yokozuna at some point? Must be confusing it with another event. Anyhow, this will wrap up part 2. Stay tuned for part 3! Coming soon!RIP Hulkamania . . . . . . . . drat, this was awesome. ................ Eclipse12 fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Apr 8, 2021 |
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Apr 8, 2021 02:23
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just lmao
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Apr 8, 2021 02:55
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Hulkster was 39 when all that happened, he looks at least 10 years older than that
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Apr 8, 2021 03:02
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I believe they did explain at some point that the photographer was noted heel manager Harvey Whippleman, but it didn't matter because this would be Hogan's last appearance in the company for the 20th century, so there was no point in talking about it. Also, as a kid, I didn't see this PPV. Instead, I watched it through scrambled cable. Scrambled TV + Jimmy Hart's jacket = 
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Apr 8, 2021 03:23
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Eclipse12 posted:
Before MMA there was a kayfabe difference between a sleeper and a choke. Announcers often called out that the ref was checking to to make sure sleepers and chin locks were not chokes. Something about slipping your elbow under the chin too far.
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Apr 8, 2021 03:43
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Has Hulk sans bandana ever not looked like someones gym rat dad
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Apr 8, 2021 03:56
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Borrowed Ladder posted:Before MMA there was a kayfabe difference between a sleeper and a choke. Announcers often called out that the ref was checking to to make sure sleepers and chin locks were not chokes. Something about slipping your elbow under the chin too far. In real life they're different things too aren't they? A sleeper stops the blood flow by putting pressure on an artery while a choke is, well, a choke.
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Apr 8, 2021 03:57
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Man I loving cackled at the flamethrower
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Apr 8, 2021 03:59
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I am quite literally breathless every time I finish one of these reports. Keep up the good work friend. No it’s not because I’m fat. I mean I am fat but that’s not why I’m breathless.
ncumbered_by_idgits fucked around with this message at 04:47 on Apr 8, 2021 |
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Apr 8, 2021 04:16
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Eclipse12 posted:
lmao, thank u 4 ur service  this eagle cries as Hulkamania dies
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Apr 8, 2021 04:19
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https://twitter.com/maki_itoh/status/1379101201078263811
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Apr 8, 2021 05:16
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She's so good at that, staying perfectly straight and rigid through the fall. Best one was when she started it with no opponent there, her tag team partner catches and stands her back up, drags the opponent over then tips Maki over. She also uses the top rope diving headbutt which gives me too many Benoit flashbacks. Hopefully she's safer about it and doesn't scramble her brain.
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Apr 8, 2021 05:52
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PotatoJudge posted:She's so good at that, staying perfectly straight and rigid through the fall. Best one was when she started it with no opponent there, her tag team partner catches and stands her back up, drags the opponent over then tips Maki over. Yeah, I worry about that as well. I don't want to see Maki devolve into a chud.
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Apr 8, 2021 05:56
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Vince MechMahon posted:In real life they're different things too aren't they? A sleeper stops the blood flow by putting pressure on an artery while a choke is, well, a choke. yeah, putting someone to sleep by compressing both carotid arteries (the side of the neck) is good, trying to forcibly crush someone's windpipe is bad this post brought to you by a bunch of brazilian jujitsu guys and a bunch of weird sex stuff guys doing the handshake from predator
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Apr 8, 2021 10:27
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I guess in my experience, most mma submissions that cut off blood flow are still referred to as "chokes" (guillotine, rear naked, triangle, etc). So it's weird to see an argument about whether it's a hold or choke when either way you're depriving the brain of oxygen.
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Apr 8, 2021 10:56
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All choking aside, I'm more curious about Hogan's loss here. Is the flaming camera widely known/discussed, because it was new to me and even in the book I read it wasn't mentioned. Maybe just thought of as another weird moment in a sport that has endless to choose from? The book We Promised You a Great Main Event states that Hogan, despite still being a big draw with casual fans, had his value hurt by the steroid scandal, a gimmick that was becoming predictable, and newer more exciting wrestlers. Hogan also felt he needed to ascend to the next level and work on his film career. It's unknown (by me, at least) whether Hogan was already in talks with WCW but he wouldn't get signed by them until a year later. Technically Hogan did do some more work with WWF after KotR, but it sounds like it was just appearances at live house shows until he officially left in August. I can kinda see his logic in the Yoko fight. Vince wanted Hogan to lose the title to Hart at Summer Slam but Hogan refused because he felt Hart was "too small" to ever plausibly best Hulk. Yokozuna was big, so that made it okay and they decided he would lose at KotR instead. But, and I'm guessing now, Hogan still didn't love the idea of being beaten fair and square so he needed to lose only because the opponent cheated. And it had to be special, not just salt in the eyes or a low blow. Hence, flaming camera. Still a hell of a weird way to (temporarily) end his WWF career...
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Apr 8, 2021 12:02
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Of course the Japanese heel cheats using a gimmicked camera. Of course.
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Apr 8, 2021 12:08
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Eclipse12 posted:All choking aside, I'm more curious about Hogan's loss here. Is the flaming camera widely known/discussed, because it was new to me and even in the book I read it wasn't mentioned. Maybe just thought of as another weird moment in a sport that has endless to choose from? I was wondering when Hogan actually showed up in WCW, and I guess it was in 94. Crazy that even in 93 the Hulkamania gimmick was getting stale, yet he kept it up for another 2 years in WCW before the nWo.
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Apr 8, 2021 12:47
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